Cyrano (2021) REVIEW

Do you ever feel like someone looks into your brain, sees exactly what kind of media you’ve been craving lately, and then they rolled up their sleeves and said “I’ve got this?”

Because that is exactly how it felt watching the trailer for this film. It was like being swept away into a painting where everything is soft and blurred at the edges, lit by candlelight, and full of pretty dresses that go swoosh and sometimes I NEED that, ya know?

For anyone unaware, Cyrano is an adaptation of an 1897 play called Cyrano de Bergerac, which is an adaptation itself of a real-life Cyrano de Bergerac (broadly speaking). It is a tragedy, so just like…just so you’re aware. Like I 1000% knew going in that I would be sobbing and I was RIGHT. But I’m also not mad about it.

Another thing to note–Cyrano is an adaptation. It’s not going to be just a movie version of the play, in any number of ways (partially because this movie is also a musical, and the play…isn’t. Also the entire play is in rhyming verse and the movie…isn’t) but perhaps the biggest difference being the interpretation of the main character. In the original play, Cyrano de Bergerac is portrayed as a man with an insanely large nose, for which he is made fun of constantly. In this version, Cyrano is portrayed by the wonderful and delightful Peter Dinklage, so the character has dwarfism rather than a large nose. I’ve read a couple reviews complaining about this and like…y’all can complain about whatever you want but like…I’ll get into it more later.

ANYWAY. It’s a movie musical adaptation of a play from the late 1800’s, Peter Dinklage has my whole entire heart, and yes I cried a lot and I’m not mad about it.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

SPOILER WARNING NOW IN EFFECT. FOR A 100+ YEAR-OLD STORY. JUST SAYING.

THE STORY

We begin in France in the year 1640, where we are first introduced to the lovely Roxanne (Haley Bennett). She is in the middle of getting ready to go to the theater that night, bickering with her (maid? Friend?) Marie (Monica Dolan) as she does so. Through this sequence, we learn that Roxanne is an orphan with like, zero money to her name, she’s months behind on rent, and she really should consider an advantageous marriage so she can keep living like she’s used to. Marie is insistent that Roxanne accept the flirtations of the duke, de Guiche (Ben Mendelsohn), because like, money, but Roxanne does not love him, and that’s what she craves. Roxanne is an incredible romantic, convinced that love will feel like a sudden lightning strike of passion, and that she will not feel like an object, like she does with de Guiche. However, she does agree to accompany him to the theater, because as she explains to Marie, they cannot afford the tickets without him and she does so love the theater.

During a song sequence on the way to the theater, we are then introduced to Christian (Kelvin Harrison Jr.). Christian is a new recruit, quite poor himself, and wandering around the city, when he spies a reflection of Roxanne and follows her carriage to the theater, where it seems he uses the last of his own money just to get inside to see her. The theater is chaos, but time seems to stop when the two of them finally lock eyes. A thief stealing from Christian finally cuts the tension and Christian scampers off after them, but it’s clear the moment had a great impact on both of them.

The play begins, and it seems that there is a divide between the upper crust and the lower class on just how good (or not) the actor, Montfleury, (Mark Benton) seems to be. Then, we hear a voice from the back, and we are finally introduced to the story’s namesake, none other than Cyrano de Bergerac (Peter Dinklage) himself. As Cyrano engages Montfleury in a battle of wits of sort, ultimately winning as Montfleury flees, he has his own eye contact moment with Roxanne–the two grin at each other, but do nothing to publicly acknowledge the other beyond that, up until de Guiche’s buddy Valvert (Joshua James) loudly insults Cyrano on the spot. Valvert challenges Cyrano to a duel, a decision he will absolutely regret.

Not only is Cyrano charming, witty, and poetic, he’s an incredible swordsman–Valvert didn’t stand a chance. Cyrano wins, disarming Valvert and turning away, but Valvert is furious at being publicly embarrassed like that and attempts to stab Cyrano with his back turned. Roxanne shrieks out Cyrano’s name in warning, alerting him, and Cyrano turns, stabbing Valvert instead. Cyrano carefully lays him down in front of a shocked crowd.

Back in the carriage, de Guiche is furious with Cyrano for behaving as such and dealing with Valvert in such a way. Roxanne tries to insist that Valvert was the one who initiated the duel to begin with, and she assures him that Cyrano took no pleasure in the act. Disgusted, de Guiche asks if Roxanne actually knows Cyrano, to which she replies that he is her oldest friend. Claiming it’s for her own good, de Guiche insists that Roxanne end the friendship.

Later, Cyrano is out drinking with his friend in the regiment, Le Bret (Bashir Salahuddin), where he tells the story of his friendship with Roxanne and he admits that he is deeply in love with her. Le Bret says that he should tell Roxanne how he feels, but Cyrano refuses, insisting that someone like her could never love someone like him, and he is destined to forever love her from afar. Marie then interrupts the men, asking Cyrano if he can select a private location to meet with Roxanne the following day. Tentative to hope but unable to think of any other reason for such a sudden request of privacy, Cyrano and Le Bret wonder if Roxanne indeed loves Cyrano in return.

On his way home, Cyrano is jumped in an alley by 10 men, and though they appear to almost get the better of him, Cyrano emerges victorious–but not before noting de Guiche slinking away in the background. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite him at any point later in the story.

The next morning, Cyrano meets with his baker friend, Ragueneau (Peter Wight), to set up a private room for his meeting with Roxanne. During the search for the perfect room, Cyrano helps Ragueneau with a love poem for his wife, telling him to use metaphors that matter to him and capture something he knows well, such as baking. With the private room settled, Cyrano writes a love letter to Roxanne, but before he can sign it, she appears with Marie. Ragueneau gets to work on food to distract Marie while Cyrano and Roxanne talk. Noticing his injuries from the previous night, Roxanne tends to a particular wound on his hand while she says she has a confession for him. In a rather cruelly-written sequence, Roxanne admits she is in love with someone, a soldier, and she feels as if she’s known him forever but she didn’t realize until the previous night at the theater–all of which just serves to get Cyrano’s hopes up, and before she’s even finished, he says he has a confession to make also. But then, reality comes crashing in when Roxanne says she’s never even spoken to this man but he is FINEEEEE and she loves him.

At this point Cyrano realizes “oh cool so she’s not talking about me after all ha ha that’s awesome that’s great I love that” so he’s a lil bit in shock, kinda looks like he was just smacked with a frying pan, and Roxanne then tells him that her love’s name is Christian, and he’s a new recruit in Cyrano’s regiment (because of course he is). Distraught but ever in love with his friend and wishing only for her happiness, Cyrano agrees to talk with Christian of Roxanne’s feelings and her wish for him to write to her.

This is fine.

The following day at the garrison, de Guiche makes an appearance, offering a position to Cyrano (not out of friendship, mind you, definitely just as a way to keep his enemies close, per se). Cyrano, shockingly, rejects the offer against La Bret’s points about how the position would be well-paid and probably worth his time.

Christian then arrives and is promptly thrown into some sort of hazing fight (as is what happens with new recruits). Still having no idea what Christian even looks like, Cyrano interrupts the fighting, claiming that he will be Christian’s next challenger. Emboldened by victory, Christian makes a few snide comments about Cyrano’s stature, which is just…less than ideal. But Cyrano’s heard it all before, and remains unphased…until he learns Christian’s name. Unable to fight him like he really wants to, probably, Cyrano instead embraces Christian, telling him only that he is “her brother.” Confused, Christian follows Cyrano and asks…”whose brother?” Cyrano explains he’s not actually Roxanne’s brother, they are merely the best of friends, akin to siblings! Hahaha this is FINE.

Christian explains that although he’s thrilled that Roxanne loves him in return, he is in fact doomed, because someone like Roxanne wants wit and poetry and Christian just…cannot do that. The two of them then hatch a plan–Cyrano will write letters for Christian to sign. Cyrano will make Christian poetic, and in turn, Christian will make Cyrano “handsome.”

This charade works well at first, with letters being exchanged and love being had, (except for Cyrano, I guess…) up until Christian meets with Roxanne in person and is unable to speak to her like “he” does in “his” letters. Roxanne is furious, because she needs more than just the simple “I love you” and he’s said it in a million different ways before, why is he suddenly now reduced to calling her a “flower?”

Meanwhile, Roxanne has been doing her best to fend off the icky affections from de Guiche without outright insulting him, and it’s actually working if only because Roxanne is actually like, really clever and good with words? De Guiche is insistent that Cyrano’s guard regiment join him at the front as he’s been called off to fight, and Roxanne, fearing for Christian, persuades de Guiche that the ultimate insult would actually be to leave his regiment behind so that de Guiche and others can attain glory in war while Cyrano is stuck at home. She then manages to convince him that she would love him so much more if he was a decorated war hero, and de Guiche is completely on board with this and decides to head out, leaving Cyrano and Christian behind.

In an attempt to fix the situation between Christian and Roxanne, Christian stands in the shadows beneath Roxanne’s balcony and Cyrano feeds him words to say, eventually taking over entirely and speaking (and singing) plainly to Roxanne of his love. Having fixed the relationship, Cyrano wins a kiss for Christian from Roxanne, which is just…sO GREAT. As Cyrano goes to leave, however, he runs into a priest with an urgent letter for Roxanne. Upon reading it when Cyrano delivers it to her, Roxanne cries–de Guiche is on his way back right then, insistent that she finally come through on her “promises” to him. The priest is there to marry the two of them that night, but if she sends the priest away, de Guiche notes, he will simply be with her without the constraints of marriage; either way, de Guiche will have her that night.

We get another cool glimpse at Roxanne’s cleverness, however, as she wipes her tears away and pretends the letter is written permission and encouragement from de Guiche to be married to Christian, hence, the priest. She hands the letter to Cyrano, however, so he is aware of the true contents. Roxanne insists that Cyrano delay de Guiche–and he heads out to do just that. By the time de Guiche arrives, it is too late; Christian and Roxanne have been married. Furious at being denied what he wants, he decides right then that actually, he will be taking Cyrano’s regiment off to war. That very night. Say goodbye to your new husband, I guess.

Desperate, Roxanne begs Cyrano to look after Christian for her, to keep him fed, and warm, and Cyrano tells her with a broken heart that he cannot promise anything–until she asks that he promise that Christian will write to her. Cyrano nods. That he can promise.

AND NOW WE’RE AT WARRRRRR and, specifically, the Siege of Arras during the Thirty Years’ War. Conditions are…less than ideal. And by that I mean, absolutely awful. Cyrano’s regiment is stuck holding one position and starving in the process. Cyrano himself, meanwhile, sneaks behind enemy lines every day so he can send a letter to Roxanne–Christian himself doesn’t even know how often “he’s” been writing. La Bret then informs Cyrano that their orders have changed–basically, de Guiche had to choose a group of men to send on a suicide mission per the king’s orders, and he has chosen Cyrano’s regiment (in the film, it’s unclear if this is truly a decision made out of malice, as de Guiche looks torn and outright says he takes no pleasure in this (although, those were the exact words Roxanne used when she talked about Cyrano dueling Vavert earlier, so…idk)). Cyrano assumes it is a decision directed at him, since de Guiche isn’t exactly his biggest fan.

The soldiers are well-aware what their new orders mean, and they take the short amount of time they have left to write final letters to their loved ones in one of the most GUT-WRENCHING SONGS IN THE WHOLE THING THANKS FOR THAT. It’s at this point that Christian finally figures out the truth–Cyrano himself loves Roxanne. He insists that Cyrano tell Roxanne the truth, because the decision should be up to her, and her alone.

But Cyrano is so buried in his self-made truth that no one could ever love him–why would he change his mind now? Christian, upset with Cyrano and himself, insists that though he does love Roxanne, he would rather be loved for who he is, not who Cyrano is. Frustrated and likely delirious with exhaustion and hunger, Christian runs out into the battlefield and promptly gets shot down. Cyrano drags him back to the camp, where Christian once again implores Cyrano to tell Roxanne the truth–for what she loves is Christian’s soul, and he explains that Cyrano is his soul. Cyrano, meanwhile, shakes his head, insisting that Christian will not die, he cannot die…but he does. Sobbing, Cyrano leaves his friend’s body and joins the regiment marching off, and we’re forced to watch the soldiers get taken out one by one.

Three years later, we catch up at a convent, where Roxanne now spends her days. The sisters talk about Cyrano, who frequently visits, but refuses to eat or take any steps to care for himself. Sure enough, Cyrano is ill and ever dealing with wounds that did not heal properly from the war. He is still writing to Roxanne, though still not signing the letters himself, unable to fulfill Christian’s dying wish to tell Roxanne the truth. On his way to the convent that day, he collapses, making him later than he usually is.

Roxanne insists that he will be there, because he’s always there. Sure enough, Cyrano does make an appearance, and the two old friends sit to talk (though Cyrano fails to mention that he fears he is dying haha oops). Finally, Cyrano requests that he be allowed to read Christian’s last letter, which Roxanne keeps with her at all times. She obliges, and notices as he reads it that he’s not actually reading it, he’s remembering. It’s been him all this time.

NO. REALLY.

Cyrano denies it, however, no matter how much Roxanne insists that she knows it to be him. It’s at this point that Cyrano collapses, his wounds finally catching up with him. Roxanne says over and over that she loves him, she will not lose him a second time, it’s not going to happen. Cyrano, of course, is like “wait I’m confused the person you love is dead” and she’s just…you’re so stupid oh my WORD.

The two sing a heart wrenching little duet, share a kiss, and she says again that she loves him. HIM. Not Christian, not his words, but just Cyrano, as he is. In a moment we will absolutely discuss momentarily, Cyrano dies by saying that he loved…his pride.

The film ends on a shot of Roxanne crying over Cyrano’s body, the whole convent washed in a golden-white light.

WHAT A HAPPY TIME AM I RIGHT HOW ARE WE DOING

THE VISUALS

THIS MOVIE. IS SO PRETTY.

You can tell it’s the Joe Wright team when basically every shot looks like it could be a painting, and it’s absolutely my aesthetic. I’m on board.

It’s so hard to narrow down but notable visual moments that smacked me in the face include:

  1. The eye-contact moment between Christian and Roxanne at the theater. Stop. Stop that. How did they capture the entire idea of love at first sight. How. No. Not okay. Thank you.
  2. Honestly the entire opening where Roxanne is singing on the way to the theater and people are dancing and you can see it in the reflection??? I don’t know what’s up with cinnamontography and filming dances in reflections of windows but like…I’m not complaining.
  3. I’m gonna try not to list every dance sequence but um–the bakery??? Like…you know that pottery scene in Ghost? It’s like they looked at that scene and said “what if we made that a whole choreographed number?” Like…that mixed with Peter Dinklage singing? I’m not okay.
  4. Probably entirely due to Peter Dinklage’s acting–the scene where Roxanne and Cyrano meet in private and the moment he realizes she’s not talking about him? She’s not in love with him after all? You see that exact moment in his face and it’s heartbreaking and I still haven’t recovered from it.
  5. The transition from sword-fighting to dancing during Christian’s reprise of “Someone to Say” is iconic and fits so well with Christian’s character and what he’s singing about and…I will never be over it.
  6. We HAVE to talk about “Every Letter” because…WOW. I thought people were joking on tumblr when they said Roxanne had sex with a letter but um…idk man they weren’t joking though. Also the occasional shift to show all three of them singing? AAAAAAAAAAH
  7. Roxanne’s meeting with Christian that transitions into “I Need More?” it’s one of those sequences that makes me want to put on a floofy dress and walk the streets around me belting about romantic poetry. What a POWER ballad.
  8. The whole last sequence in the convent is so incredibly soft–there’s never a moment where I would describe the lighting or visuals as sharp, but there’s something about the warm, muted tones in the convent that just paint everything in such a peaceful light. It almost gives the whole scene an otherworldly air–like maybe Cyrano had died on the way to the convent and this scene is his heaven. I mean, Roxanne there, confessing her love to him? WOW NOW I’M SAD AGAIN

“Wherever I Fall” gets an honorary mention specifically for the way they made a point of showing us the three soldiers who sang getting shot down. I hate it but I appreciate it, if that makes sense.

Basically, personally, this movie is visually my aesthetic and I can’t really think of a moment where I didn’t appreciate what was being shown to me (visually. I don’t appreciate being shown Christian and Cyrano dying).

THE CHARACTERS

Y’all I say this with all of the love I have in my heart, I really do, but…all of these characters are so, so stupid.

But it’s not entirely their fault! It is absolutely a mix of who they are combined with the society and world they live and grew up in. What do I mean?

While there are other characters we can discuss and crucial side-characters who add to the world and the story, this is really a love story about three (dumb) people: Roxanne, Christian, and Cyrano.

Let’s start with Roxanne: on the surface, she seems to be the typical ingenue pretty girl who has such a ~difficult~ life because she wants romance, not money! And, to some degree, she is exactly that. Yes, she is very beautiful, yes, she does crave romance, and yes, she believes that romance is not inherently tied to money (possibly because her only example thereof is de Guiche, who isn’t exactly winning in the “charm” department.) We get some lovely hints, however, that there is so much more to her than that–particularly during the scene where she convinces de Guiche to go off to war without Cyrano’s regiment, and during the scene where she tricks her way into marrying Christian instead of de Guiche. In these scenes, we get a glimpse of just how cunning Roxanne is. She knows exactly how to use what men see when they look at her to her advantage–they see a pretty face, so they don’t expect a clever mind or a sharp tongue. She uses a mix of de Guiche’s desire for her as well as his personal grudge against Cyrano to keep both her dear friend and her love safe at home (at least, at first). Later, she uses the rules of the society she is trapped in to her advantage by getting married herself before de Guiche can have her (this, of course, ultimately backfires, but I digress).

And yet…she’s so dumb, bless her. The crucial part of the plot that revolves around and depends on Roxanne has to do with her views on love. We don’t know where she gets these ideas–could be books, the theater she is so enamored with, maybe she was inspired by her own parents before their untimely demise…we don’t know. Whatever the cause, Roxanne is convinced that romantic love can only be a “love at first sight” situation and it’ll feel like a tidal wave of emotion. She dearly loves Cyrano, of course, but she believes it is only as a friend because the only kind of romantic love she can think of would be exactly what she experiences with Christian when they see each other in the theater for the first time. It’s why it takes her till the very end of the show to realize how she feels and has felt about Cyrano for a long time–it just truly never occurred to her before that that she and Cyrano could love each other that way. Does it sound silly from a modern standpoint? Kinda! But in the context of her world, it makes sense. Also consider the number of modern stories that still involve love at first sight–it’s a lasting trope for a reason.

Does it make her stupid still? Yes. Absolutely. I love her, but wow.

Now let’s talk about Christian. On the surface, Christian is your typical hero character/male love interest–he’s lovely, he’s determined, he’s talented, and just generally a very decent person. And he is certainly all those things! He also falls in love at first sight with an “out-of-his-league” girl.

Is he also dumb??? Yes, bless him. The crucial part of the plot that revolves around him is the fact that because he’s so pretty, he “can approach Roxanne publicly and it’ll be acceptable” or whatever. However, he does not know how to woo to save his life–he can perform the usual accolades of “I love you” and “you’re like a flower” but, as Roxanne makes a point to sing out in the streets, the woman of his affections needs more than that! Hence, teaming up with Cyrano.

What I love about Christian’s arc as it relates to the world the character lives in is that it is stated so plainly in his song “Someone to Say (Reprise).” Christian flat-out says that he was raised by a soldier father, and it was that upbringing that shaped him into someone lovely and talented with a sword, but completely unable to charm with beautiful words. He straight-up was not allowed to nurse the side of him that so desperately wants to be free and tell Roxanne exactly how she makes him feel. He was told “you are a man. You will learn how to fight and you will learn how to kill.” He was not allowed to be soft even though he really wants to be.

But like…should he have been able to see that the reason Cyrano was so good at writing love letters is because…he was in love himself? Probably. Yes. But he’s dumb. We love him though.

Finally, let’s discuss the title man himself, the lovely Cyrano. On the surface, Cyrano is quirky, incredibly clever, incredibly talented as a soldier, completely fearless, and amazingly charming and romantic…on the surface above that, however, Cyrano just looks different. And he is made to be so incredibly aware of that every moment of every day. Keep in mind that this was the era of Louis XIV–physical appearance was so incredibly crucial to the upper crust of the time, and Cyrano was a direct contradiction for them. So Cyrano worked extra hard to develop a personality that could fight back against the sneers and the looks–in the play he refers to it as “panache,” a term that was coined thanks to the play. It’s a reference to something that was also considered incredibly beautiful among the French elites, “esprit,” or basically, a sharp wit. Cyrano has this in spades, and it’s just as much a weapon as his sword is.

Unfortunately, he has been led to believe that that simply isn’t enough–if he isn’t both physically beautiful (for the time’s standards) and clever, what’s the point? He has been so hurt and tortured in this fashion by society that even when the woman he loves is telling him directly to his face that she loves him exactly as he is for who he is, he will not let himself believe it. He will let himself love Roxanne for more than just her looks, but he won’t let her do the same for him.

HE’S SO DUMB BLESS HIM.

It’s why his last words are that he loved his pride. Roxanne is literally sobbing over him, kissing him, telling him over and over that she loves him, and he cannot believe it. The self-loathing is extra strong there. After all, he let himself hope early on in the story that Roxanne loved him, and it turned out to not be the case because of course she would love the handsome new recruit and not him. Of course. Why did he let himself ever think otherwise?

This same societal expectation that restricts the characters also affects de Guiche–Comte de Guiche historically was considered the most beautiful man of the time. He was the peak example of what all men should strive for. It’s why Cyrano’s popularity irks de Guiche, I mean…look at him, right? The point of de Guiche’s song is basically him saying “I am the best therefore I deserve the best.”

*insert Gaston reference here*

Does that also make him incredibly dumb?? YOU BET.

That’s what makes the tragedy–the nature of the characters against the world they live in. It’s tragic how the society of the time was so rigged against who each of these characters are as an individual in such a specific way that there was no other way for their stories to end.

THE MUSIC

I’ve already fangirled about it a fair amount BUT LET’S GO EVEN DEEPER SHALL WE.

So for those of you unaware (as I was)–this film is an adaptation of an off-Broadway musical of the same name and also starring Peter Dinklage and Haley Bennett (and again, to review–the musical itself is an adaptation of the original play, which is an adaptation of a real guy’s life. Clear as mud? Great). I’m not sure if any of the songs from the original musical were cut, as is often the case when a musical gets turned into a movie (I will never forgive In The Heights for cutting “Sunrise” and yes that is a hill I will die on thank you for coming to my TedTalk), but rest assured that the songs we do have are incredible.

(ALSO–IS THAT A ROMANTIC LEAD I SPY WHO IS NOT A TENOR??? UGH WE LOVE TO SEE IT)

From gorgeously flowing love songs like “Someone to Say,” (and its reprise) “Madly,” “Your Name,” and “Overcome” to impressive power ballads like “I Need More” and “What I Deserve,” every song feels crucial to the storytelling. The playful self-deprecation of “When I Was Born” does so much to introduce the audience fully to Cyrano’s character. The sensual lyrics and instrumentation of “Every Letter” feels like we’re privy to something incredibly private and almost forbidden. The militaristic drumming all the way through “Wherever I Fall” feels wrong when combined with the softness of the lyrics that each soldier sings, and it’s perfect for emphasizing how awful the war is in comparison to the love story we’ve watched up to that point.

I also appreciate that it never tried to be anything more than it was when it came to the songs; it’s a movie musical, and it acts like one. Sometimes that little wink and nod at the audience when a song starts like “haha we know this is unrealistic but stay with us–we’re aware people don’t usually just burst into song!!” is fun, especially when used well, but it would have felt so out of place here. The film knows its audience, and knows exactly what we’re here for. It never tries to play to all sides and is completely unapologetic about the group dance numbers or the characters singing in the streets and I love it for that. It’s not for everyone, but the film knows that, and doesn’t make any great effort to ease you into the whimsy ahead–we start with a shot purely made up of yards and yards of ribbon hanging from the ceiling, complete with childish-looking puppets and other elements of childhood playfulness. Combined with the lovely instrumentation of the “Intro” and “Opening” songs, when Roxanne sees that first couple dancing in the street and she starts singing, it’s like…of course this is happening. It would be weirder for these characters to have a completely uneventful ride to the theater.

Also…the lyrics??? I…you ever hear the lyrics of a song and feel like you’ve been absolutely put in a chokehold by them but like…in a good way?

For example, in songs from Cyrano we have such bangers as:

“These words are the truth, just let them sink in, through your thin-fingered gloves, to your hand, to your skin”

“Talk of the blank space behind the sun where you told me you’d meet me when everyone is gone”

“The way I feel is like falling stars diving into cold ocean waves”

“I’m living proof that God has a sick sense of humor”

And of course, of course, my absolute favorite lyrics in the whole movie are in the soldiers’ songs, “Wherever I Fall” part 1 and 2.

I mean…

“I promised I’d be home alright, but I gotta lay this body down. So take this letter to my wife, and tell her that I loved my life.”

“But I can see her in every detail now turning in my mind. I barely knew that girl at all, but I will love her till the end of time.”

“He wasn’t one of God’s best men, but I loved him anyway…I went in first, I rang the bell, I called his name out loud and I gave ’em hell.”

“Tell ’em not to cry at all, heaven is wherever I fall.”

Like?? Really??? UGH. I LOVE IT. Listening to the soundtrack even before seeing the movie I knew that this song would kill me and it DID. But I’m not mad about it. It also feels…incredibly poignant at this time. Like, not to be all dramatic and anti-war on main or anything but like, hearing this song, hearing these lyrics, watching that sequence in the film…how could anyone do that and think “ah yes, sometimes blowing humans up is justified.”

“But it’s a scene in a movie musical” yes that’s the POINT. Art and storytelling and the empathy those things teach us is what makes us human, and this moment in the film shows how war can rip those things away from us so we’re left with shattered pieces of ourselves that we may never be able to put back together again, and it never affects only us. This song is a bunch of soldiers from different walks of life knowing they are heading towards their death and their last wish is for their loved ones to know that they thought of them when they fell, so please don’t cry. How many soldiers in Ukraine do we think went through the exact same thing? Vietnam? Japan? Cuba? The list, unfortunately, goes on and on.

THE ADAPTATION

I have to touch on this briefly(ish) because I have Strong Feelings.

In the year of our lord 2022 we should all be used to and aware of the fact that adaptations? They’re gonna keep happening. They are here to stay. They kind of, have been here to stay for a while now. I mean, isn’t there that whole argument that there are only like, I dunno, 10 different unique storylines and every story out there is just an adaptation of one of those and nothing is unique or whatever?

I think that’s why it’s always baffling to me when people complain about specific details being changed in one adaptation or the next–isn’t that like, the very definition of the word? It’s not going to be the exact same as the original thing? And sure, there are plenty of adaptations/remakes I can think of where I personally didn’t like or agree with a change, but I always at least sort of try to approach it from a standpoint of “just because this doesn’t agree with me personally, doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad or not worth anyone’s time.”

(also please note how difficult it is for me right now to not take a jab at Alita: Battle Angel and Joker)

When an adaptation changes something or updates an element of the original story to better fit the time it is being released in, that does not necessarily make it a bad adaptation. In fact, I would argue that when something like that is done well, it’s incredibly beneficial to the original story and brings it around and makes it relatable and endearing to a whole new audience who may never have even looked at it before. This can range from setting the story in a more modern setting, like turning Emma into Clueless or Pride and Prejudice into The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, to changing key characteristics of lead characters, like the Duke and Kate Sharma in Bridgerton to, yes, casting Peter Dinklage as Cyrano de Bergerac. Such updates, though still not necessarily perfect or without fault, can relay the themes of the original story in a new way to a new audience, keeping the heart of it alive and reminding us about the universality of it.

In the original story, Cyrano has a large nose and that is his hang-up. Do we still today make fun of people with big noses? Yes. We are obsessed with what we consider physical beauty to a fault. However, we also live in an age where men are able and allowed to look more different than women–they still have beauty standards, of course, but representation in media for them has a much greater range than it does for women. Is this changing? Of course it is. To the point where making Cyrano simply have a large nose in this adaptation wouldn’t be that powerful–we as a society are changing to where a physical “problem” like that wouldn’t necessarily explain Cyrano’s self-hate or the way he is snubbed by society. In the time the story was originally set? Absolutely it makes sense because physical beauty standards were so incredibly specific. But it doesn’t translate as well to a modern audience.

But casting Peter Dinklage?

Dwarfism is something we don’t see much representation of in media, outside of characters who are literally dwarves or funny side characters. It’s just “the way things are.” So to give this romantic lead role that features incredible love ballads, sharp-witted arguments, amazingly choreographed fight scenes, and soft romantic moments to Peter Dinklage? It’s perfect.

It’s a commentary on society all on its own, and it works wonderfully well. It forces the audience to overcome any sort of deep-seeded prejudice they may have, even unaware, and say “why do I feel that way? This human is just as talented, sweet, and powerful as the other love interest–why should he be treated as any less?”

And yeah, of course this means that any sort of iconic and clever prose from the original play about Cyrano’s nose is going to be missing or altered, and yeah, of course that’s a little sad because the writing is wonderful.

But can we all agree that maybe, just maybe, that’s not the point?

It’s okay if this film isn’t for you and it’s okay if you’re disappointed it’s not a direct line-for-line remake or adaptation of the original play. But if your main hang-up is that they cast Peter Dinklage instead of slapping a fake nose on Chris Pratt, maybe take a second to back up and wonder why that rubs you the wrong way.

And if you don’t wanna consider that, then make your own movie.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

YES. If movie musicals are your jam, if period pieces are your jam, if the entirety of 2005’s Kiera Knightley Pride and Prejudice is your aesthetic exactly, SEE THIS MOVIE. It’s not for everyone, of course (is anything?), because as we’ve already discussed, this was tailor-made for me, thank you. But I’ll share it with you all.

It knows exactly what it is and who the audience is and it exists as this gorgeous, tragic, meaningful movie musical unapologetically and I adore it for that.

All in all, I give Cyrano

5/5 LOVE LETTERS!!!

(it was almost swords as a nod to the absolutely beautiful fight choreography because ohhhhhmY but…I mean it’s Cyrano de Bergerac I have to do love letters)

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Lightyear I am…tentatively optimistic about. I think it’s disappointing that they’re beating the dead horse so much when it comes to the Toy Story franchise like…there are…maybe other stories to tell…but it doesn’t necessarily look bad or anything. Yet.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent…I mean…what do you even say about this? They took the Nicolas Cage memes and made them a movie? It could be really fun and classic and it could also be super weird and questionable and somehow I feel like it’s going to be a weird combination of all of the above. Did anyone even ask for this? Why are we here.

The Bob’s Burgers Movie is gonna be like the Downton Abbey movie–like it has its audience and it knows it. I’m not necessarily that audience but I hope people enjoy it.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is so…I’m torn. On the one hand, I wasn’t terribly enchanted by the first Fantastic Beasts film and I’m not necessarily excited about more of them, but on the other hand…Mads Mikkelsen. Jude Law. I’m not immune to them. I don’t pretend to be.

The Bad Guys looks surprisingly charming and maybe really good?–I love the idea and think there’s a lot of potential there for something really funny and special. I hope it follows through and the trailer isn’t misleading in that aspect.

Everything Everywhere All At Once looks PHENOMENAL like I have no idea what’s happening or why there are so many googly eyes but–I wanna know!! I would like to find out!! This movie looks like it’ll mess with my mind and I am ready for it!!!

MINIVIEWS TAKE TWO

I think somewhere along the line I swore to myself that I’d never let it get to the point where I do a bunch of miniviews again but…here we are.

Same rules as last time: I will discuss my main thoughts on the film, choose a standout element, say whether or not I think you should see it, and rate it. And then I’ll make some cute promise about not doing this again. 🌝

(This time I blame real life and also the release of Luigi’s Mansion 3. HAVE Y’ALL PLAYED THAT YET IT’S SO GOOOOOOOOD)

Lessgoooooooooo:

MINIVIEW 1: DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD

MY THOUGHTS:

I can honestly say that I never thought in the year of our lord 2019 I would be writing about a movie that is a live-action adaptation of Dora: The Explorer and be saying that it’s…really, really good.

I mean like even the trailers had me like “wow that looks…decent??” And uh…it was???

But more than that, the movie is, as I like to say, a damn good time. If you grew up with the TV show like I did, it’s such a funky little love letter to everything we loved and hated about the show. My poor parents knew like nothing about it and I may or may not have made them a presentation on Dora basics so they knew what they were signing up for by going with me to see this.

It’s genuinely so much fun–it has great characters, a pLot TWisT, a lovely story, JUNGLE PUZZLES!!!, and even a really cool moral. It knew exactly how ridiculous it was and just ROLLED WITH IT.

I mean y’all someone literally made a movie of that College Humor skit from YEARS AGO…AND IT WAS GREAT.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Y’ALL DORA LITERALLY USED A YO-YO AS A WEAPON I–

I started learning yo-yo tricks this year (or as we in the in-crowd say, I started “throwing” this year) and I keep trying to tell people that a yo-yo could be a seriously good weapon, I mean do you know how many times I’ve whacked myself this thing is a hazard??

AND SHE LITERALLY USED IT AS A WEAPON I CANNOT–

Also I loved whenever Dora spoke to the camera or whenever she talked to people like “Hi! I’m Dora!” Like she’s a ray of sunshine and I love her.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

PLEASE DO. It’s just so much fun. Also–a Latinx-led cast!

Also stay tuned for my essay on how Dora and Alita went through very similar character arcs in their respective films but Dora’s actually worked and developed her character more and she’s literally DORA THE EXPLORER–

Haha just kidding.

…unless? 🌝

All in all, I give Dora and the Lost City of Gold…

5/5 DEADLY WEAPON YO-YOS!!

MINIVIEW 2: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

MY THOUGHTS:

Lemme preface this by saying that Bend It Like Beckham is one of my favorite movies of all time, and the same people worked on this movie, so I was already really excited about it.

And like, I was not disappointed at all.

This movie is a delight from start to finish. The characters are lovable and well-rounded and the story is just so fun and heartwarming. There’s a little bit of drama, a little bit of romance, a lotta friendship, a lotta Bruce Springsteen music, and a whole lot of family love. There’s kinda something for everyone in this movie.

(I mean hey, if you’re a blood-and-gore action fan, there’s even a protest that interferes with a wedding party and someone gets injured and you see the blood, so–yay there you go I guess!)

My biggest complaint is the girlfriend character. Don’t get me wrong, she’s super cute and a delight, but at least in my view, her whole character was just: Girlfriend. That’s it. What music does she like? We don’t know. Her family? We don’t know. Favorite color?? WE DON’T KNOW.

Granted, she’s not the main focus at all, but they spent a whole lot of time developing our leading man, his ex-best friend and his new best friend, so like…if they all get development…….can my girl get some development too……..

I mean it’s like you could switch out her and Alita and neither of their movies would change very much….I’m just sayin…….🌚

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

By far the incorporation of Springsteen’s music. Just like you saw in the trailer, they had the lyrics appear onscreen in real time and it was such a fun little thing to do–I mean don’t we all feel a little like that when listening to music??

No???? Just me???????? Cool.

Also that whole scene where they takeover the radio booth at school and then dance around the streets and go crazy? So fun to watch.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Generally? Yes. And I’m speaking as someone who knew absolutely none of the songs used in the film. So if you’re worried about that, please know that you’ll still really enjoy it.

But I also know that this is my type of movie…it’s a character drama about relationships and the power they can have in our lives (also, music) and I ABSOLUTELY eat that shit up. If it’s not your kind of thing, you probably won’t like this movie.

But if you’re home one night and just want a feel-good drama with some great tunes, I definitely recommend you check this movie out.

All in all, I give Blinded by the Light…

4/5 CASSETTE TAPES!!!

MINIVIEW 3: DOWNTON ABBEY

MY THOUGHTS:

*sniff* SO THE ROYAL SERVANTS ARE MEAN AND ANNA AND BATES WORK TOGETHER AND THEY’RE HAPPY FOR ONCE *sob* AND CARSON COMES BACK BECAUSE MARY NEEDS HIM *deep inhale* AND THOMAS OH GOD MY SWEET BABY THOMAS IS HAPPY *long sniff* AND THE SCENE WITH MARY AND MAGGIE SMITH AT THE BALL OH GOD–*all-out-crying*

Uh so yeah it was okay.

I think what I really, really loved about this was that it never tried to be anything more but an elongated episode of the tv show. Like it didn’t try to be anything that would draw in a different audience because it trusted that all of us would be absolute SUCKERS and come back for these dorks AND IT WAS RIIIIIIIIIIGHT WE ALL FELL FOR IT DAMMIT.

I’m not mad about it though tbh like it was fantastic. I didn’t even get fully caught up on the show and I STILL loved it. I feel like every character had a good arc and had their moment to shine, and it was all interwoven in a really lovely way.

I’m bitter that everyone was so quick to accuse Branson about being a political problem again but that’s because he’s my favorite (also can we all collectively mourn the fact that Branson and Mary never got together I just–) but anyway, I digress.

It was so heartwarming and fulfilling and such a lovely, sweet farewell to these amazing characters that captivated me for years and years. I will miss them all so much but I adore where their story ended.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

THOMAS’S ENTIRE STORYLINE I’M GONNA CRYYYYYYYY

Thomas has always been such a fascinating character and now he got a really good, happy plot and I’m so happy for him?? It was heartbreaking watching him try to “fix” himself near the end of the show and now he’s out here kissing cute boys in the kitchen??? What an icon. I love him.

Also again, Maggie Smith’s final scene at the ball with Mary was absolutely heartbreaking in the best way possible. It was so sweet watching those two connect in such a vulnerable way I’m GONNA CRY AGAIN.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Please do absolutely if you are a Downton fan. Please please please. If you aren’t a Downton fan, first of all what are you doing with your life, secondly yeah, okay, maybe this movie isn’t for you.

It’s still good though.

Better female character development than some other movies I could and will mention ruthlessly *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

All in all, I give Downton Abbey…..

4.5/5 CRYING BOWTIES!!!!!

MINIVIEW 4: THE GOLDFINCH

MY THOUGHTS:

So like, I know this book was a really big thing for a while but uh, I never read it. I don’t know why, I think I was just solely in my YA dystopian fiction phase when it came out and I was just like…meh.

(Tbh I’m still in that phase but it’s more out of spite now because I will defend YA dystopian fiction till my last breath thanks)

So I guess the main thing I’ll say is that wow seeing the movie made me really, really want to read the book.

Overall, the movie is beautifully shot and acted, and wow Ansel Elgort does an amazing, amazing job. I love him in basically anything but that’s beside the point.

Actually like all the acting? Really wonderful.

It’s an interesting, really gritty tale, and I was a little surprised by how much I did like it. But like…I dunno if I would watch it again? At least not until I read the book. Because like, the movie was good. But it just makes me wonder if the book is fantastic.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Oh the cinnamontography for sure. That entire scene where our main boy wakes up in the gallery after the bomb is stunning and super eerie and beautifully done.

Also–it’s super gay, y’all. I genuinely don’t care what they’ve said in interviews, it’s gay. That kiss was not platonic. That forehead touch was not platonic. THEY ARE NOT PLATONIC. If you watched that and said “wow, that’s just like me and my friends!” BOY DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

Also Nicole Kidman is the light of my life, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

I mean…maybe?? Again, I really really liked it, I just think the book might be better and maybe we should all go read that instead I’m just saying…….

But, if you were on the fence about it or think you do want to see it, I absolutely think you should because it is really good. Also like, I cannot get over how much I thought they were going to end on a really depressing note and I was about to be SO MAD and then WOW that sudden plot-twist turn-around in the last 10 minutes or so was iconic. So that’s another thing: if you’re worried about a depressing ending, it isn’t.

Also I mean if for some reason you’re like “wow my only two options for movies tonight are The Goldfinch and Alita: Battle Angel…” watch The Goldfinch.

All in all, I give The Goldfinch…

3.5/5 PUDGY LITTLE GOLDFINCHES!!!

MINIVIEW 5: THE ADDAMS FAMILY (2019)

MY THOUGHTS:

If you saw the trailers for this and you, like me, were like “oh boy I hope that’s actually good!” DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU BECAUSE YES. YES IT IS.

It is absolutely a fun family flick about the best family in the world, and I want to watch it again purely to be able to catch all the dorky little details they threw in because there are so many. You can tell they had so much fun making this and I’m glad, because I had a lot of fun watching it. The animation is a delight, the voice-acting is incredible, THE REMIX OF THE THEME SONG IS ACTUALLY REALLY CUTE, and the message about family and accepting who you really are and how being different is a good thing is super sweet.

So many of the characters had a really fascinating arc and it was fun to watch how those arcs were mirrored in some of the new original characters. Also YOU GET TO SEE MORTICIA AND GOMEZ’S WEDDING AND IT’S RIDICULOUS AND AMAZINGGGG

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

So fun fact: apparently all the character designs for this movie were based on the ORIGINAL designs from the ORIGINAL COMIC STRIP. YEAH. I didn’t even know that there was a comic strip before there was a TV show?? But there is! And the movie designs really look like the comic designs just walked off the page, it’s kind of really impressive.

Also Snoop Dogg voices Cousin Itt I–

ALSO the end credits are shot like the TV opening and the ENTIRE AUDIENCE DID THE SNAPS WHEN IT HAPPENED.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Honestly, yeah. I mean if you’re already kind of an Addams fan, I recommend going to see it. It’s super heartfelt and very sweet and fun.

If you just like quirky movies, yes.

If you want a whole lotta bloodshed I mean…uhhhh I’m sure there’s blood somewhere I forgot, I mean, it’s the Addams family.

All in all, I give The Addams Family…

4.5/5 BOMBS!!!

(I was gonna do swords because that’s a big thing but I realized that bombs works much better in honor of Puggsley and his whole character arc about being true to himself. It makes sense, I swear.)

TRAILERS WE HAVEN’T DISCUSSED YET: (I THINK…SOMETIMES I DON’T TOTALLY REMEMBER TBH OH WELL)

Crash course trailers HERE WE GOOOOO

Arctic Dogs is….a movie. That’s uh…really all I can say about this one.

Charlie’s Angels looks super good and I really hope it is good and I cannot WAIT to see itttttt

Last Christmas is a movie I have seen already and BOY are we gonna talk about that one. After I stop crying.

Brittany Runs a Marathon looks like it could be really decent. Or really preachy. Or both.

Ford v Ferrari looks like a real Oscar-bait of a movie but maybe it’s actually good. I dunno. I have such mixed feelings about racing because like I mean eh, also it’s really dangerous, but on the other hand….FAST CARS COOL.

Harriet looks beyond absolutely incredible.

Dark Waters looks so, so good and amazing. Mark Ruffalo is already the love of my life and this story looks incredible. I’m real excited.

Western Stars looks really sweet and uh…yeah.

Just Mercy looks…wow. I have a feeling it does not end happily at all but it looks incredible.

Doctor Sleep…okay look. I love Ewan MacGregor. I would do almost anything for him. EXCEPT see a Stephen King horror movie I will not do that for him I’m sorry Ewan.

Jojo Rabbit looks FANTASTIC and I’m SO EXCITED to see it I am adding Taika Waititi to the list of movie makers who own my soul thanks.

And that does it for the Miniviews!! I really enjoyed this batch of films. This will be in stark contrast to my next planned review because…well I saw Joker. And uh…yeah we’ll get to that.

Yesterday REVIEW

In a drastic genre change from our last film, let’s talk about the Beatles!

So a while ago, I took myself, the fam, and some friends to the movies (okay, technically the friends took themselves and we all met there, but I have to keep up the intro for continuity’s sake) and we saw Yesterday, a movie that answers a question I don’t think any of us even asked: what would happen if literally everyone except maybe like three people just…forgot about the Beatles?

I say this in a gently mocking tone because yeah, the movie’s premise is kind of ridiculous. I mean…what?

But with the exception of the included music by the Beatles, Yesterday is a brand-new story not based on anything except wacky imaginations and for that, it already has a good score in my book.

The rest of the good score it earned by being lovable, fun, heartwarming, thought-provoking, and a damn good time.

So what exactly happens in this movie?

THE PLOT

We start the film by following Jack (Himesh Patel), a “struggling musician” as the IMDB plot refers to him, and I mean yeah, he’s not exactly paying the bills with his music but he’s making time to do something he loves and that’s important, okay?

(This review clearly being written by a struggling artist herself, leave me alone)

Jack is close in particular with his best friend and manager, Ellie (Lily James!!! I love her!!! So much!!!!!). The two of them go around playing less-than-stellar gigs while bantering and being generally adorable.

One night, when Jack is on his way home from a festival, a world-wide blackout occurs and Jack is thrown off his bike by a bus. He wakes up in the hospital with Ellie telling him that while he is okay, he did lose his two front teeth in the fall and therefore people will definitely be laughing at him *shrug emoji*.

At his coming home party, Jack gets a few presents from friends, including a brand-new guitar from Ellie (she!! Is!!! The best!!!!). Jack plays it and sings a snippet of “Yesterday” by the Beatles, of course, but nobody recognizes it. Ellie asks him when he wrote that song, and when Jack says he didn’t…it’s by the Beatles….it’s one of the greatest songs of all time by one of the greatest bands of all time….one of his friends says, hilariously, “well it’s not Coldplay. It’s not ‘Fix You.'”

Jack has somehow woken up in a world where the Beatles never existed (along with a few other things. This is probably one of my favorite elements of the film, as Jack keeps discovering things that are now nonexistent–Coca-Cola, cigarettes, Harry Potter, so on and so forth). So now…I mean, what does he do? He’s been presented with a golden opportunity: he is the only person (so it seems) who knows all these incredible songs, and he’s always wanted to be a famous musician…

Or has he? As Jack becomes more famous with these “stolen” songs, he learns more and more what fame is really like, and he’s not sure it’s all it’s cracked up to be–especially when it costs him his best friend and the love of his life.

THE REVIEW

Y’ALL.

Because the premise is genuinely just so…huh? I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect going into this film, and I was beyond pleasantly surprised. Yesterday has so much going for it, and it touches on so many things without ever becoming overwhelming or like, bad, in any way.

It’s been getting less-than-favorable reviews from what I’ve seen, which is a shame if you’re someone who only sees movies based off of what famous reviewers say. Like…listen, I love and support most of my fellow critics, but I think in the case of this movie, we all need to chill out a little.

Here’s Hollywood giving us a dorky, original storyline and y’all are like…”IT’S A BEATLES MOVIE WITHOUT THE BEATLES!!!” Like…..duh? That’s…that’s the point?? What…what did you expect??? I…I have concerns.

One review complained that the movie focused too much on Jack and not enough on Ellie, that it pushed women to the side too much. And to be fair, this movie could have had a female protagonist and nothing would have changed, I don’t think. But can we take a breath and appreciate that the movie has a POC protagonist? And that’s never presented as anything other than completely normal? Also–mixed-race romantic relationship?? ANYONE???

Look, we all have things that push us over the edge when it comes to movies. I mean…just look at my Toy Story 4 review. I get it and I admit I have that, too! But I think we need to calm down and stop cancelling things entirely just because they don’t have one thing that we think is important.

I mean, I can’t help you if your main complaint is that the Beatles weren’t in this movie because…I…that’s the whole…plot? But if your complaint is about women being pushed aside (she’s?? A major character??) or something of the like, let’s appreciate things the movie does right–because if we cancel everything that comes out of Hollywood because it doesn’t have all representation at all times, we’ll never get anything. It’s a sucky fact, but there it is.

The point is, this movie has so much to offer and I think everyone should give it a chance. If you’re still skeptical (WHERE?? ARE THE BEATLES??????) then let’s take a journey to an alternate universe together and dissect what exactly it is that makes this movie such a unique gem.

Spoiler warning is now in effect!!

THE MUSIC

Most of the music is, in fact, songs by the Beatles so we know it is, just as the movie says, great. Even my dad who admits to not being the biggest Beatles fan (please don’t come after him, it’s not his fault) still liked the movie and how it presented everything.

I guess the major complaint people have is that the songs were not played in their entirety, or something.

Which…um…I don’t know how to tell you this…this is…this is a movie? It’s….it’s not a concert? It never marketed itself as a movie musical that would feature full-length songs? And, dare I say it, the songs aren’t actually the point?

I mean, I do get it. Both Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman featured mostly full-length if not full-length versions of the songs we know and love, but the difference is that Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman were both marketed as biopics about those artists. Yesterday isn’t a biopic, it’s a quirky movie that happens to involve a plot point that uses songs by the Beatles. Did we all get this offended when Across the Universe came out??

I mean…maybe we did, I was in middle school when that movie came out and I wasn’t really down with the movie scene times.

The fact is, any time a project uses someone or something well-known and loved that has a cult following, people are going to jump on it and call it imperfect no matter what–it’s just the nature of the beast. There have been bad reviews for Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman, and now Yesterday because Queen, Elton John, and the Beatles are all beloved icons and everyone has an opinion about how their stories should be represented, and there’s just no way to please everyone. We’re all very picky people, unfortunately.

Now, I get wanting a biopic about the Beatles–and that’s great! But that’s not what this movie is, so maybe we all need to take a step back and stop criticizing it for something it’s not.

I have read that some people seem to be miffed because Himesh Patel sings the songs and not…the Beatles themselves, but again that’s…that’s the point? The fact that he’s singing songs that aren’t actually his is the entire plot of the movie.

All this to say, look–the music itself is the Beatles (with fun cameo songs by Ed Sheeran!) so it’s great, and it’s all sung by Himesh Patel (Lily James helps a little in the beginning) and it’s good!

All of the little instrumental interludes written by Daniel Pemberton are also great.

THE CHARACTERS

As I’ve said before, I personally can’t get behind a film if I don’t love the characters, and this movie is great at presenting a plethora of characters to love…even when they’re idiots sometimes.

Jack, our main man, is fantastic. He fits the struggling artist bill perfectly, and I didn’t find him unlikeable in any way. Is he a bit dense? For sure! But you can see why Ellie’s been in love with him forever. He’s charming, quirky, a complete dork, filled with anxiety…he’s great millennial representation, basically. Even when he gets famous and starts being really stupid, you just get the feeling that he’s overwhelmed and truly doesn’t know how to handle it all (plus he’s constantly plagued by the fact that the songs that made him famous are not his own lol #rip). In my opinion, Jack is a great protagonist to follow–this is a tricky story, because again, the Beatles are beyond beloved for the modern audience, and to have a character just steal all their songs and get famous off it is like, a crime against passion and art and beauty or whatever!!! But Jack is genuinely sympathetic. He’s a mess of a human being, and really, wouldn’t we all do the same if we were in his shoes?

(Don’t try to be all high and mighty and say you wouldn’t.)

Jack knows that the Beatles are beloved and are considered musical geniuses and icons–he says as much every time he gets interrupted when playing one of their songs. He gets the indignity of the entire situation, but he also sees an opportunity, one he’s waited for his entire life…Can we blame him, really? Plus it makes him all the more lovable when he gives the Beatles credit near the end and puts out all their songs for free for everyone. What a guy!

Ellie is perfection personified.

…alright maybe I’m biased because I’m genuinely in love with Lily James, but I really, really like Ellie as a character. Am I also biased because I, too, have been in love with an idiot for years only for it to lead to nothing because he is, in fact, an idiot? Yeah, probably. But listen–all that aside, Ellie is still just…she’s great. She’s cute, she’s confident, she’s fun, she’s supportive and smart, she’s everything Jack could want but he’s too much of an idiot to see it!! I think Ellie’s arc is really beautiful and really well done. She’s been sidelined by Jack for years, and when he continues to do that to her, she’s the one who says enough is enough, I’m tired of this, I love you but I’m moving on. She pursues a relationship with a guy who actually treats her like the goddess she is. She’s the one who stops the potential tryst with Jack in the hotel because she knows him, she knows he won’t pick her over his music. Ellie is incredibly strong and a great backbone for the movie.

Because the film is primarily a character drama focused on Ellie and Jack, the other characters don’t really mean as much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ed Sheeran playing himself is fantastic, and he does great. I mean he had to say “why not change the title of the iconic Beatles song Hey, Jude to Hey, Dude” with a straight face. Amazing. Iconic. 11/10.

Kate McKinnon shines as the evil, money-obsessed producer/manager that kind of answers the question “what if fame had gotten to Ellie like it did to Jack?” And it’s fantastic. She’s playing a caricature because that’s what her character is, and let’s be real, that’s what McKinnon really shines at.

Jack has a friend who steps in as manager on tour and I do not remember his name and I feel bad, but he was funny.

THE QUESTION

I will now attempt to dive deeper into all the various themes the movie covered, but again, I really think you have to see this one for yourself to fully grasp it all, because it tackles a lot in its 116-minute runtime.

So the most obvious question that even the trailer brought up: is it the music that makes the person famous, or is it the personality behind the music that brings the fame? The movie tackles this question in kind of an interesting way, and they just happen to do it with one of the most beloved bands of all time.

(How many times have I described the Beatles as “beloved” already? Is someone tallying?)

The movie suggests that it’s the music itself that is the pull, that it’s the music that is the important thing. Jack became incredibly famous as a solo artist singing songs by the Beatles. His personality didn’t matter–it was all thanks to the music. We see how much of a failure Jack was with his own songs, and it wasn’t until he started performing Beatles songs that he got noticed, got an album recorded, got noticed by Ed Sheeran, so on and so forth.

We live in kind of an unfortunate time right now, where artists and creators we love and claim to know are being accused of horrific things left and right. We’re left behind with the work they created and we have to ask ourselves…can I still enjoy this thing? Am I able to separate the creator from the creation?

Yesterday suggests that this is not only possible, but important. While a piece of the creator is always attached to whatever the creation is, it’s crucial to realize that there is something enjoyable and beautiful in the creation itself.

After Jack admits he stole all the songs and releases them for free, we see him teaching “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” to a bunch of students who are having the time of their lives. It suggests that even though Jack smothered his own name and became known as a fraud, the songs themselves remained popular and important to the culture as a whole. The world separated Jack from the music because it had to, he didn’t really give them a choice, and enjoyment could still be found.

Is this even a point the movie was trying to make? Eh, maybe not. But it’s something you can definitely glean from it, and it’s a question we have to tackle as more and more creators get famous.

We cannot idolize anyone because nobody is perfect, but that does not mean that we cannot find something beautiful in what they give us.

THE FAME

Every time another news story breaks about another Hollywood star going to rehab, or killing someone, or just being a general complete mess, my mom and I love to discuss fame as a whole. Specifically, her favorite question is this: do we naturally idolize messed-up people, or does fame take nice people and mess them up?

Yesterday suggests, thankfully, that fame tends to mess up nice people. While Jack certainly doesn’t begin perfect, he’s a nice enough person and thankful for what he has. But he’s always craved fame, and once he gets it, it absolutely destroys him and the most important relationship in his life: Ellie.

Being constantly fawned over, obsessed over, talked about, it all so easily went to his head that by the time he realized that wasn’t actually what he wanted and he wasn’t even happy? It was too late.

Every time something bad comes out about an artist we’re particularly fond of, we’re all Ellie. We think we know them, we praise them, we love them, and then suddenly, they’re not who we thought they were at all. It’s a personal blow (it actually is to Ellie because she does actually know Jack, but it feels like a personal blow to us because we feel like we actually know them).

It’s established early on that all Jack wants is to be a famous musician because he’s convinced that will make him happy. Anyone who’s ever wanted to be famous for something understands that, because the glorification of fame and famous people convinces us that that will make us happy. But when he does have all that stuff? He’s miserable.

I do think that it may have been different if he’d gotten famous off his own work rather than stolen work, because then the guilt wouldn’t have been at play as much, but the fact remains: he was still doing what he loved, and he wasn’t happy.

This all comes to a head in a really beautiful scene where Jack goes to the home of, wait for it, JOHN LENNON (played wonderfully by Rumplestiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle). Because the Beatles never existed in this alternate timeline/universe/whatever, Lennon was never famous. Instead, he spends his days in his quiet beach house, painting. Jack and Lennon have a real low key, sweet conversation about happiness. When Jack sees that Lennon is truly happy, even though he doesn’t even know what he’s missing out on in the timeline/universe/whatever where he is a Beatle and all, Jack gets it. He gets what he’s been missing out on, too.

He admits he’s a fraud. He gives away all the Beatles songs for free. He runs off with Ellie into the sunset. He becomes, I’m assuming, a music teacher. He and Ellie have kids. He’s truly and genuinely happy for…pretty much the first time the entire film.

Now, of course, I’m sure there are celebrities who are perfectly nice and wonderful and are actually happy, but…we don’t know that, do we? We don’t know anything about them except for the face they show us.

No one in the film, really aside from Ellie, knew Jack at all. They continued to not like any of the songs he actually wrote, only becoming obsessed with the Beatles songs. And that messed him up.

THE ROMANCE

So remember how in my really snarky Toy Story 4 review, I was real miffed about how the trailers really highlighted Gabby and especially Forky as key characters, and then that wasn’t really the case and it was something else entirely? A romantic drama movie masquerading as something else?

Yesterday did the complete opposite–this movie advertised as a funky little story about nobody remembering the Beatles, and then SURPRISE it’s actually?? A romance???

I mean Ellie was heavily featured in a lot of the promotional art, but I just?? Wasn’t expecting this???

What’s beautiful about the romance in Yesterday is that it actually serves a purpose. It’s a crucial part of the plot for Jack to realize how he feels about Ellie because that helps him realize what actually makes him happy and what he actually wants out of life–it completes his arc.

As cynical as I was about the romance over friendship arcs featured in How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, Avengers: Endgame, and Toy Story 4, I loved the choices made in this film to feature a romance. Like I’ve said–I’m a huge sucker for a good romantic plot when it’s done well.

What’s especially nice here is that I think it is done well. There was never a question of romance vs. friendship because it’s established from the beginning that Ellie and Jack are best friends for life first. It was developed in such a way that we knew and supported both of these characters. We weren’t robbed at all because we didn’t have to watch Jack say goodbye to his friends and run off into the sunset with some girl who got 20 minutes of screentime. Ellie and Jack have a great love story that is everything we should want–they’re best friends as well as romantic partners. And it makes sense to root for them.

It’s even realistic in that Ellie pines for him, Jack is an idiot, Ellie tells him, Jack is an idiot, they kiss but Ellie stops it going further, Jack is an idiot, Jack goes to stop her from leaving and she’s hopeful for a moment, but then Jack is an idiot, Ellie tries to move on with someone who actually thinks of her that way, Jack is an idiot, so on and so forth. I do think that a story could have been told without all the romantic drama, but it couldn’t be the same one. Ellie and Jack are so much more than romantic partners–they’re just partners. They’re best friends and soulmates. The drama is crucial for Jack to realize what it is he really wants and what it is that will actually make him happy in life.

Say what you will about cliches and romance being unnecessary, I get it. But I don’t think you could have told the same story without it. Ellie and Jack are both flawed, likable characters, and their relationship is a joy to watch from start to finish.

THE ENDING

In a time where happy endings and happy characters are not allowed in tv shows, it was like a true breath of fresh air to watch Yesterday. Jack abandons everything he thought would make him happy to embrace what truly does. He finds meaning in the people and music in his life. He knows just how soul-sucking fame can be, so he’s all the more grateful and appreciative of what he has as a teacher. He and Ellie marry, have a family, and most importantly, have each other. Jack’s picture perfect happy ending isn’t the happy ending for everyone–marriage and romance isn’t as important to some people as it is to others. But what we should focus on taking away from the ending is that finding and focusing on whatever makes you truly happy is worth more than anything.

In kind of a funny twist, the timeline never gets fixed. Or explained. Why did Jack and two other random people get transported to an alternate world where the Beatles never existed? *shrug emoji*

Why do Coca-cola, cigarettes, and Harry Potter also not exist in this world? *shrug emoji*

What…happened? *shrug emoji*

I dunno. Maybe in another timeline, I’m really pissed off about that never being explained, but here? I don’t really mind it all that much. It suggests that there’s a version of the world where everything can work out, where you can pursue happiness and actually find it…and I like that. So maybe on my own bad days, I can focus on the idea that somewhere, somehow, some version of myself is doing just fine.

Is that reading too much into it? Probably.

But I prefer movies that make me think about stuff like that, instead of stuff like “why did the dog have to get killed there was literally no reason for that also why did she paint dog blood on her face why is she like this.”

*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

This is one of those movies where I completely understand if it isn’t for you. It’s weird. It’s quirky. THEY DON’T PLAY THE FULL-LENGTH VERSIONS OF BEATLES SONGS!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But I think if you give it a chance, you may just really enjoy it.

Or not. I don’t know you, I don’t know your life.

This movie is refreshing. It’s an original, zany idea, with good characters, and lots to think about. It’s funny. It’s ridiculous. It’s over-the-top.

Ed Sheeran is incredibly self-aware and it’s a little frightening, but good.

The scene with Robert Carlyle as John Lennon will probably make you cry.

It’s just…it’s unique. And I think Hollywood needs that right now.

Overall, I give Yesterday

5/5 BEETLES!!!

I tried to make them look cute and appealing but they kind of just look like they want to steal your soul. just like fame wants to steal your soul.

Lily James’s outfits make up one whole beetle of that rating. Lily James herself makes up another whole beetle. Lily James is a delight, okay?

FAVORITE MOMENT:

I have?? So many??

But there’s something about that John Lennon beach house scene. It’s beautifully shot and delightful. There’s also something to be said for the scene where the only other two people who remember the Beatles confront Jack but it’s only to thank him because they miss the Beatles’ music and neither of them can sing.

“OOF” MOMENT:

When Jack left Ellie in the diner. You fool!!! Imbecile!!!! THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE YOU ABSOLUTE MONGOOSE.

Nothing against mongoose (mongeese?).

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

So we start off with The Peanut Butter Falcon which looks like it might be really super good but also could potentially be really super depressing and emotionally draining and I just have to prep for that.

Ad Astra just gets more confusing every time I see a new trailer for it. What is it about? What is happening? Space????

The Goldfinch looks absolutely incredible. I never read the book, but now I really want to. I hope it’s good.

And that about does it for this review! If you are looking for a night of escapism to a quirky, feel-good world with good characters and have I mentioned Lily James, I definitely recommend you check out Yesterday.

Toy Story 4 REVIEW

It’s cute how this poster lies to you by making you think all these characters are actually super important in the movie

So, a while ago, (in my defense–it was Shark Week) I took myself and the fam to the movies, and we saw Toy Story 4.

Which is…a film.

I will freely admit that although I tried to go in without any expectations, I still had a lot. I mean, it’s PIXAR. And…it’s Toy Story.

So while it’s safe to say that it’s certainly a well-done movie, I just…I have feelings about it.

THE PLOT

We pick up right where we left off in Toy Story 3, with all of Andy’s toys now belonging to Bonnie, and–

…wait, we don’t do that?

Oh…okay.

We ACTUALLY pick up in a sort of flashback. It was briefly mentioned in Toy Story 3 that somehow, our favorite group of ragtag toys lost Bo Peep sometime during the years when Andy was growing up. While it’s certainly sad, I mean Woody and Bo were like…aw, she’s not the only toy they’ve lost over the years. Again, while it’s sad, it’s something they’ve dealt with before, but the important thing is that they all stuck together because they are each other’s family.

Oh, jeez, I’m sorry, I’m going on and on about the consistent message the past three films were giving us, about the importance of finding who you are based off of the people who care about you and not what society tells you, about overcoming sadness and heartbreak by facing it and moving forward with your family who loves you because you’re never alone in anything, about how found family is just as powerful if not more so, about how friendship can always win…

Anyway, Toy Story 4 basically answers the question none of us asked: why is it that these movies are so focused on friendship when we all know romance is the TRUE superpower??

…plot. Yes. We’re talking about plot.

Andy’s younger sister Molly grew tired of her Bo Peep lamp, so the family decided to give her away (I initially assumed to some sort of collector, but it sounds like she did go to another family with a kid first before ending up in the antiques shop). After performing a daring rescue to save RC Car from the gutter during the rainstorm, Woody heads back outside to save Bo Peep as well.

Bo gently points out that she’s not Andy’s toy, so there’s no need for him to try and keep them all together or something like that. So Bo and Woody have a heartfelt goodbye in the rain, Andy freaks when he realizes Woody is outside somehow, and life goes on.

Now we finally catch up to where we left off perfectly in Toy Story 3. All our favorite toys now belong to Bonnie, and life carries on as usual. The only problem is, Bonnie never actually plays with Woody, and she leaves him in the closet all the time.

This gives Woody a bit of an identity crisis because, I mean, he’s a toy!! He should be played with!!! He’s the leader!!!! So he breaks all the rules and sneaks inside Bonnie’s bag to accompany her to kindergarten. Bonnie is, heart-achingly, scared of kindergarten and doesn’t want to go. She’s shy and doesn’t easily make friends, and when she tries to, her art supplies get thrown out. Woody sees this and magically gets the art supplies back on her table. Bonnie, now determined, makes herself a friend: Forky.

(Sidenote: it drives me crazy that Forky is actually a spork. I know that’s part of the joke, but like…he refers to himself as a spork…other characters refer to him as a spork…JUST CALL HIM SPORKY. You’re telling me Bonnie didn’t know what the difference was between a fork and a spork?? I learned that when I was younger than Bonnie and it was my favorite fact in the world. Anyway. Back to the plot.)

Forky is a little, uh…he’s a little lost. He keeps trying to throw himself away because…I mean he’s a plastic spork, but Woody won’t let him. He tells everyone that Forky is “the most important toy to Bonnie right now” so he has to protect him.

Bonnie’s family ends up going on a road trip, and of course, Forky escapes on the road. Woody jumps out of the RV to go find him and bring him back, and then they get side-tracked because Woody sees what he thinks is Bo’s lamp in the window of an antiques shop. This is where they meet Gabby Gabby and her weird army of silent puppet minions, and also where, yes, you guessed it, Woody and Bo are reunited.

The adventure unfolds, new friends are made, and while Woody’s consistent goal is to get back to Bonnie, he has to keep asking himself…does he really want to?

(Yes. Well, the old Woody would. I don’t know this new guy.)

THE REVIEW

OKAY, now that the plot’s out of the way, I get to be as snarky as I want to.

I really wanted to like this movie.

I always have high expectations with Pixar, and even though I’m not the biggest fan of sequels (and Pixar has certainly had some less-than-stellar sequels…lookin’ at you, Finding Dory and Cars 2…), I’ve loved all of the Toy Story movies. In fact, as I was ruminating on what I would say about this movie, I realized that the second Toy Story is actually my favorite of the bunch!

What I appreciated is that every addition to the Toy Story franchise brought something new that added to the world and the characters and almost never felt redundant or unnecessary–the first is about coming to terms with being a toy and learning how to deal with not being a favorite anymore, the second is about second chances and trust and also about legacies vs. friendship, and the third is all about growing up, change, and facing hardships together.

None of the major plot points in Toy Story 4 are new, with the exception of Forky’s creation, which just brings about so many questions about how inanimate objects even work in this universe. Even then, Forky’s entire plot line is thrown to the curb not even halfway through the film, because despite the advertising, he’s not the main focus of the story at all–Bo Peep is.

Look–I could go on and on, and trust me, I will. While I certainly have nitpicks as well as just general overall problems with the film, I still will say that it’s a good movie. It just is. It’s absolutely gorgeous, for starters, and some of the new characters are delightful additions to the franchise (Ducky, Bunny, and Gabby in particular). I still cried like a baby during the entire last act. I still liked it.

That doesn’t change the fact that I left feeling disappointed. And I know, because I’ve said it in many of my reviews, that not all movies are for everyone. That’s one of the most beautiful things about cinema as a whole–there are so many options, there’s bound to be something for everyone. Just because I, and a very select few others, were disappointed with the film and have some issues, doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way. Lots of people loved the film and were so happy for Woody and Bo, and that’s great.

I guess what hurts is that I grew up with this franchise and these characters. I got used to seeing Pixar as a studio that, ultimately, could make stories that mostly everyone could enjoy. I got used to this franchise that stuck to its main theme of friendship being so much more powerful and important than we are normally taught it is. I got used to this weird sense of entitlement with these stories, and I get that these movies are not for me.

It’s just…it always felt like they were.

So what is it exactly that set this movie apart in such a weirdly negative way?

If you’re still with me, let’s charge ahead!

WHO’S READY TO OVERANALYZE A KIDS’ MOVIE????

THE ART

Like I mentioned previously, this is a gorgeous movie. It just is. The animation is just…it’s jaw-dropping. And the attention to detail? Just ridiculous. Pixar goes above and beyond to make this a beautiful experience if nothing else, so credit where credit is due: those animators and those artists deserve so much love and attention for their work on this film. It’s so detailed and realistic it’s sometimes hard to remember that this is supposed to be a kids’ film and an animated movie…

I…yeah. I mean the only way to really appreciate it all is to go and see the film for yourself. Despite my personal feelings about the rest of it, I do genuinely think it’s worth seeing for the art alone.

The music is, for the most part, delightful. Again, it’s Toy Story, it’s Randy Newman, it’s wonderful.

…with the exception of the re-use of the classic theme “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” but we’ll get to my beef with that later.

Don’t get attached to any of these lovable friends, they’re barely in the movie

THE CHARACTERS

…let’s start with the new characters before I get into…other things.

Forky is a precious summer child and I love him. All the jokes about him being the perfect representation for people finally because…he’s trash (and so are we all) are hilarious. He’s adorably naive about everything since he’s only been alive for a couple days, but I don’t think it ever gets annoying at all. He vexes Woody, sure, but it’s more adorable than obnoxious. Once he understands Bonnie’s attachment to him and how important he is, his determination to get back to her is super sweet. We only experience a portion of it because, again, despite all advertisement he is not the focus of the film, but I digress.

Ducky and Bunny are a pair I was convinced would be annoying, kind of like the little alien in MIB: International, but they were surprisingly lovable. The various “plush rush” jokes were fantastic, and the fact that their “hands” were sewn together and therefore they constantly had to move like that was super great. My main quip with them is that they were introduced with this whole plot line of “we’re mad at Buzz because he ruined our chances to be won as a prize and go home with a kid!” And then it was just suddenly dropped in favor of the whole Bo x Woody thing. Like, whoops, my bad, I thought we were playing by the previous Toy Story rules of “everyone joins our found family group” haha SILLY ME.

Gabby Gabby is by far my favorite part of this film. I mean she was heavily advertised as the villain, and they do present her and her minions that way. When we learn about her from Bo’s point of view, we accept she is the villain. What’s fascinating about Gabby is that she’s just like every other toy (except for Bo): she just wants a kid. In fact, she has her heart set on one kid in particular, and when we learn this about her, it only makes her more endearing. It is genuinely heartbreaking when she is rejected by the shop owner’s granddaughter. We are genuinely happy for her when she gets to go home with the girl who was lost at the fair. Hers is the one plot line I would say is genuinely unique (besides Forky’s, perhaps) and even then, there’s some overlap. Anyway, I love Gabby and I wish her the best of the best.

Bo Peep is by far the star of the film, and that’s fine. She was never my favorite toy from the previous films, but I’m not holding that against her. I like the idea of her making a comeback (though I still think it’s an unnecessary storyline since Woody had definitely moved on from her, but we’re apparently getting rid of everything the past films taught us anyway so moving on) and having changed into a sort of kick-ass vigilante type. To give credit where it’s due, Bo’s transformation to lost toy was very believable and effective, and I think it suits her character well. I do believe that despite her strength during their flashback goodbye, she would definitely still have feelings about Woody and would miss him. They were great friends and inferred great loves. That’s all fine.

What’s not fine is Woody, but I think I need an entirely different section for that.

I can’t even talk about any of the other characters because they don’t get enough screen time to justify it. Keanu Reeves voices a Canadian stuntman doll who’s a great source of comedic relief, but that’s about it.

THE WOODY PROBLEM

How do I put this without sounding like a complaining child…I honestly don’t know if I can. This is a kids’ film after all, and continuity and great characterization are generally low on the list because it’s just for kids after all, who expects that?

But the problem is that Pixar built an entire foundation on getting us to expect things like that. Each previous Toy Story sequel took what was already good about the previous film and built on it. This film knocked over the entire tower.

Woody has always been a fun protagonist in the sense that he’s not perfect–far from it! The films don’t shy away from that. He’s selfish, easily jealous, passionate to a fault, an unrealistic dreamer, and sometimes just a flat-out jerk. It was always refreshing, then, to see him grow and change with every film. In the beginning, he had to wrestle with the idea of being replaced (or at least not being the favorite anymore), something we can all relate to. Then he had to struggle with choosing fame and legacy over friends and family (admittedly, not something that’s as easy to relate to, but somehow the film still presented the struggle in a sympathetic light). Then he had to struggle with the massive change that comes with growing up, and even at one point, coming to terms with death (something we all will have to relate to at some point). While Woody was always presented as the protagonist, he never dealt with anything alone. These films always pushed friendship and found family above all else, which has always been an incredibly refreshing take.

Woody learned how to make peace with not being the favorite toy, he learned how to show compassion for and learn about someone he initially didn’t like, he learned how to come to terms with a legacy that can easily overshadow him and take him away from what’s important, he learned that family and friends who fight for you no matter what are more important than anything, he learned that dealing with loss is a fact of life but one you never, ever have to face alone, he learned that sometimes the people who seem the nicest hide the cruelest intentions, he learned that life goes on even when we lose people, even when they grow and change…

And we learned all those things with him.

This is why it felt wrong for Woody to fall back into old habits from the first movie and suddenly be jealous about not being the favorite toy again. This is why it felt wrong for Woody to so easily and without question abandon the friends and family he’d sworn over and over again to fight for and be present for. This is why it felt so wrong for him to just choose romance over lifelong friends and family.

Rather than moving forward with the beautifully and intricately weaved plot over the years, this movie felt like it took 17 steps backwards, or even just created an alternate universe entirely. While the lost toy plot and choice is an interesting one, it’s a story that didn’t have to be Woody’s. Woody’s story was so neatly wrapped up in Toy Story 3 that it didn’t need all this extra out-of-character fluff. Give the plot line to RC Car–maybe the trauma of the rain gutter rescue really got to them and they decide they want to go around saving other toys or helping them so they never feel the way RC Car did. It would develop a character that we hardly heard anything from in this movie, but still be a good story about family and friendship.

Speaking of…

THE ENSEMBLE PROBLEM

It’s rare to find a series that does such a good job as a true ensemble piece. Sure, Woody and Buzz are in essence the “lead characters,” but we know and love the other characters just as much as them because they are all just as developed. We love Rex, Jessie, Bullseye, Slinky, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Sarge and the guys, RC Car, Hamm, and all the rest of them just as much as our two leads because they also get screen time.

This was an element that, although blatantly present in all past installments, was blatantly absent in this film. So much emphasis was put on Woody and Bo and all of…that, that the rest of the ensemble (WHOM WE ALSO KNOW AND LOVE) got barely any screen time.

It felt hollow when Woody said goodbye to Buzz and the gang because we’d hardly seen them that film, just as Woody had hardly seen them. Rather than being thrilled to be united with them again (LIKE THE REAL WOODY WOULD HAVE BEEN), he had very little trouble just leaving them. Forever. It’s like….I mean….WHAT.

It’s called Toy Story. Not Woody Story. And I get that Pixar has had some major staffing renovations or whatever, I don’t follow drama if I can help it because then I just get sad *cough*THEMAGICIANS*cough*, but…this just felt way out of left field. For a series that used to preach on and on about how important and powerful friendship is, this just felt like a punch in the gut and in the childhood. And me and like, maybe two other people didn’t appreciate it.

THE ROMANCE PROBLEM

Now, listen. LISTEN.

I am a huge romantic. I fully admit and embrace this. Proposal videos make me cry. A sweet, well-executed romantic moment in a show, movie, or book will also make me cry. The scene in Ever After when Henry comes to save Danielle and calls her by her true name for the first time makes me SOB. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

And maybe it’s because moving to a new state and losing a lot of really good friendships will do this to you, but I’ve grown to appreciate good depictions of healthy friendships just as much as healthy romance. It’s why I’ve grown to love series like Toy Story even more as the years go by (yeah, I know, “shut up ya 22-year-old millennial”).

While I can appreciate the sweet relationship that Bo and Woody have, I don’t prefer it to the friendships by any means. As cute as they are, Bo and Woody had barely any screen time and development over the course of the series compared to Woody and Buzz, Woody and Jessie, Woody and Andy, Woody and…literally almost anyone else. While I can believe that Woody would be nostalgic for Bo and what could have been, I can’t believe that he would abandon his family for her.

For some reason, 2019 seems to be the year of media friendships being literally shoved aside and tossed into the fires of “who cares I guess” to make room for romance that like…okay, I guess.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World was the first example of this that I can think of, and even though I praised the film for its depiction and inclusion of the realism of life or whatever then, I’m rethinking my stance a little. A great friendship was still ruined in favor of romance, and the Light Fury was even less-developed than Bo Peep. I do appreciate, however, that the reasoning behind the choice was at least well-thought-out. It wasn’t really a conscious choice on anyone’s part–it was presented as the unfortunate reality of the world they lived in. The only way to stay truly safe was to separate. Does it still suck and am I still a little bitter about it, looking back? Yeah. 100%.

Then we had Avengers: Endgame. I dunno if they were just trying to appease all their older, comic-book-loving white guy fans (assuming they cared about appeasing the fans at all #burn), but there is something genuinely wrong with the way Steve just up and abandoned Bucky and Sam. This is a case that I think is a lot more similar to the Toy Story situation than HTTYD is. Even though Steve was shown to fight for Bucky and Sam (but like, especially Bucky) and their friendship in movie after movie, for some reason, the first chance he gets to time travel, he goes back and stays with Peggy. Now don’t get me wrong, Peggy is great and I love her, but Steve had canonically moved on. Was it still sad? Absolutely. But Steve had great friends and family to surround himself with, and then suddenly he just noped out of there without even explaining to his so-called friends what he was doing. It, too, felt like a punch in the gut because it’s almost like it was saying (since he is Captain America after all) “the true American dream is getting married and living out a romance, forget all those friendships you have, they don’t matter.”

And it’s not just movies pushing this romance-over-friendship narrative–TV shows have been guilty of it this year as well (although some shows seem to be taking the complete opposite road and just not giving anyone any happiness ever because it’s “subversive” or whatever). I don’t know what is in the air this year, but I don’t like it.

Look–romance is fine. Romance is GREAT. When done well, it can absolutely serve as a tremendous plot point that both adds to the story and the overall narrative (as we will discuss in the movie Yesterday, coming soon to a blog near you!). But the narrative point of Toy Story has always, always, been friendship. I mean, even when they brought in Jessie, a perfect female counterpart to Woody, they didn’t force the two together. Sure, Woody already had Bo Peep here, but that’s not the point. The point is that they created a perfect partner for Woody, it was a perfect setup for romance…and they didn’t go that route. She’s his partner alright…HIS PARTNER IN CRIME.

Woody helped Jessie heal from her past trauma and found her a family and a kid to give her a new purpose, while fully realizing that he is an essential part of that family, too.

And yeah, Jessie and Buzz get all romanced in Toy Story 3, but that’s still not the point of the movie. Just as Woody and Bo have never before been the center plot, Jessie and Buzz weren’t either. The scene we all remember from the third movie is when they all hold hands and stay together, resigned to their fate in the incinerator. The message there isn’t romance above all–it’s friendship. It’s family.

There is nothing wrong with romance…except when it overshadows the point.

This is why I’m upset with them using the classic “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” song. That’s a friendship song. That’s Woody and Buzz’s song. You don’t get to use that song if you focus on romance the whole time and tear apart the two best friends that the song IS ABOUT. THAT’S RUDE.

THE THEME PROBLEM

So what is the theme of Toy Story 4?

….anyone?

Anyone?

Yeah.

You could argue that it’s all about finding your purpose, and I’d be inclined to agree with you, except then I’d say “but that was also tied into Woody’s character arc in the first movie, Jessie’s arc in the second, and the whole group’s arc in the third. It’s an arc that was so satisfyingly fulfilled at the end of the third movie, it’s beyond beating a dead horse in this movie (sorry Bullseye).” Can it still be the movie’s theme? Yeah, sure–when it comes to Gabby and Forky. But again, they’re not what this movie is about (even though the trailers would have you believe otherwise and YES, I WILL KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT).

You could argue that it’s about friendship, like all the films have been! After all, Woody made new friends and made it his life’s purpose to help other toys find friendship. Great! Except then I’d tell you, “how on EARTH can you argue this movie is about friendship when Woody said goodbye to not only his best friends in the world (not that you could tell from how much damn screen time they got in this movie, i.e., PRACTICALLY NONE) but also Buzz?? BUZZ FREAKIN LIGHTYEAR, HIS PERFECT FOIL, HIS PARTNER, HIS BEST BEST FRIEND, HIS GOOD BUDDY WHO HAS CHASED HIM DOWN AND TALKED SENSE INTO HIM AND BROUGHT HIM BACK HOME TIME AND TIME AGAIN?? Yeah. Yeah this movie is really aaaaaallllll about friendship. Right.”

You could argue that who the hell even cares, it’s a kids’ movie, and it’s not like it’s a bad kids’ movie, stop overanalyzing it. To which I’d say “yeah, I get it. Believe me. EXCEPT YOU CAN’T SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO OVERLOOK THAT WHEN THEME HAS PLAYED SUCH A CENTRAL ROLE IN EVERY DAMN TOY STORY MOVIE UP UNTIL NOW. YA CAN’T JUST RAISE THE BAR SUPER HIGH AND THEN BE SHOCKED WHEN I THEN GET UPSET BECAUSE THE BAR BARELY GOT OFF THE GROUND WITH THIS MOVIE.”

Or, you could argue that the theme of the movie is, of course, romance. It’s a perfect “ending” where Woody bids farewell to the family and friends he claims are most important to him (just like we’re supposed to do, we should be saying goodbye to these characters just like Woody is, real freakin’ subtle Pixar LEAVE MY CHILDHOOD ALONE) to spend the rest of his days uniting toys and kids with a romance he had already gotten over just like we had. Don’t we all feel fulfilled???

No.

But that’s the theme. That’s the winner. It’s a romantic drama that masqueraded as a family fun adventure film with a focus on friendship and love saving the day. First of all, rude. Second of all, RUDE.

Yes pls leave and bring back the true Woody, thanks

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look. I know, okay? I get it.

It’s a kids’ movie. I’m not the target audience (even if I did grow up with these characters). It’s not meant to be graded as anything other than a movie for children about talking toys. I do understand that, believe it or not.

And even though I think the previous films form a perfect trilogy that really set the stage for what family films can be, and that this one doesn’t even come close to the same league as the other three, I can’t deny that it’s still a good film.

It’s gorgeous. It’s funny. It’s heartbreaking. It’s meaningful.

And if you’re not as offended by continuity errors and the whole cash-grab-esque nature of it all like I am, you’ll probably love it.

Trying to explain to people in a short sentence why exactly I had so many problems with this movie is not an easy task, because so much of it is under the surface of a good film.

“But it’s Toy Story 4, how can it be bad??”

That’s just it–it’s not bad. It’s almost insulting how good it is, because it’s even harder to defend myself on why I dislike it so much. And that’s frankly rude of you, Pixar.

I guess all I can do is look at people and say “look. It’s no Wall-e. It’s no Ratatouille.” And hope they understand.

(They won’t of course, because for some reason no one likes Ratatouille? The nerve of some of y’all…)

Pixar established itself early on as a company that cares. Genuinely. They took a medium that was established in America as being for kids only, and turned it into something more. The movies they make are for kids, sure, but it’s more than that–they’re for everyone. They rarely pandered to you with characters or a message that was anything less than incredible. I think that’s why Cars 2 was such a disappointment–because that was a kids’ movie more than it was just…a movie. Pixar used to care about continuity, about creating a world and characters we can genuinely care about, because they cared about them, too.

But now that Disney owns them? It’s starting to look hopeless. Gone is the love and care and attention to detail (unless it comes to the specific stitches in Bo Peep’s outfit). Disney as a company now only cares about one thing: your money. And they keep getting a lot of it by playing off of established, well-loved franchises and characters.

The results have been…less than ideal. Not all the time! I stand by the live action Cinderella, Incredibles 2, and even Aladdin (which should really be called Jasmine).

But overall?

They’re putting out less-than-stellar work because they don’t think they have to do anything more than that in order to get people’s money. And we’re letting them get away with it.

It’s kind of disgusting, and all the more reason we should absolutely support smaller studios and any animated movie that is not Disney, basically, like the incredible Into the Spider-verse movie and the Laika animation studio.

BASICALLY–all my personal bitterness aside, go see Toy Story 4 if you want to. You’ll probably like it, and it is good.

But if you left the theater after watching Toy Story 3 feeling satisfied and fulfilled at these wonderful characters’ arcs and the amazing completion of the storyline, I’d probably stay away from it. Toy Story 4 doesn’t answer any lingering questions, doesn’t fill any annoying plot holes, and doesn’t make you feel good after watching it. It leaves so much more open than the third movie does, trust me. You might leave feeling like you watched something good, but you probably won’t leave satisfied.

Or maybe you will. I don’t know you, I don’t know your life. I know I’m in the minority on this. Whatever.

Plus, on the other hand, apparently a whole bunch of moms wanted to boycott the movie because in one like, maybe 4-second shot, a child is shown with two moms. So I take it back, go see this movie and then only talk about how fantastic that particular scene is just to anger people and also show Disney we want more stuff like that, please.

Overall, I give Toy Story 4

3/5 SPORKY’S!!! (Because he is a SPORK, not a FORK, DAMMIT)

Look, the whole thing reads like a fan fiction of Toy Story where someone was bitter about Bo Peep’s “missing” status in the third movie, rather than an official installment.

I probably could have just said that about it rather than my long ranting review up there. Oh well. No regrets.

FAVORITE MOMENT:

When Gabby showed herself to the girl crying at the fair. That was much more genuine and much less forced than Woody and Buzz’s goodbye, which in my mind didn’t even happen anyway, so. The movie actually ended after this scene. Crazy, huh?

“OOF” MOMENT:

To everyone saying that “Bonnie’s just a kid and kids are fickle with toys!! Don’t blame her for forgetting Woody and her promise to Andy to look after him!”

Exactly. Kids are fickle about toys. So you can bet one day that Bonnie’s gonna remember Woody and go looking for him…only to find him gone.

Yeah. This is potential canon now. Thanks, Pixar.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Spies in Disguise has the GREATEST premise I have seen in a long time and I am SO EXCITED FOR IT. Will it be a mess? Very likely. But it just looks like a good time and I am here for it.

Trolls World Tour is a movie that is actually happening…for some reason.

Onward is the first new original Pixar film in YEARS which means I’m naturally thrilled for it. Here’s hoping I don’t have to be talking about Onward 2: Electric Boogaloo in a couple years. But I probably will be.

And that’s it!

Again, odds are you will go see Toy Story 4 and you will like it, and that’s fine. Not every movie can be Black Panther. But we should expect movies to at least make an effort, right? We should want movies that are both visually stunning and filled with thought-provoking plots and delightful characters?? Not just movies that are pretty much only visually stunning??? *cough*TOYSTORY4 AND ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

*shrug emoji*

The Sun is Also a Star REVIEW

*deep inhale*

Okay.

So a while ago (opening weekend, actually, so that tells you how long this has been…#oops) I took myself and the parents to the movies to see The Sun is Also a Star.

Lemme just get it out of the way right now that my mom and I read the book first and LOVED IT so we were incredibly excited for the movie.

We’ll get to that.

I mean, um…it’s…it’s certainly a movie. Yep.

THE PLOT

We start the film with Natasha (Yara Shahidi), a high school student whose family is being deported the next day. She is determined for that to not happen, so she’s on a quest for whatever appointments and lawyers will delay the deportation. Her first stop is a big failure before she begs the guy she meets with, and he gives her the number of a lawyer who I guess is an expert at these things. So Natasha has a new mission now! She manages to set an appointment during the guy’s lunch.

Then, we catch up with Daniel (Charles Melton), also a high school student who is off to go interview for a recommendation for…one of the Big Colleges. Daniel’s mom is really concerned about it, but Daniel’s older brother and Resident Worst Human Being Ever Charles (Jake Choi) makes lots of snide comments about it. Daniel meets up with his Best Friend With No Name who is Never Seen Again (Camrus Johnson? I think? I have no idea) and they have this weird hobby of lounging up in the walls of Grand Central Station to people-watch or something, I guess it’s supposed to be whimsical and relatable.

Anyway, Daniel notices Natasha amongst the crowd because she’s looking up at the ceiling. Daniel like, freaks out because “no one ever looks up!!” And then Natasha turns around and her jacket says “deus ex machina” which is the title of the poem he’d written that morning, so he freaks out times twelve and goes chasing after her.

He loses her, of course, and gets on the train to head to his interview. BUT SURPRISE NATASHA IS ALSO ON THE SAME TRAIN!! He follows her and ends up stopping her from walking out into the street as a car screams past. They chat (as a thank-you for saving Natasha’s life, I guess) and it’s brought to light that Natasha doesn’t believe in love and Daniel is the Most Romantic Sucker Ever.

The rest of the movie is basically Daniel on a mission to make Natasha fall in love with him in one day while she continues to try not to get deported. Just your average modern American love story, am I right.

THE REVIEW

Ugggggghhhhhhhh….

Okay, look. I know we all like to make fun of people who go see movies and then all they can say afterwards is “THE BOOK WAS BETTER!!”

But please trust me when I say that 100% definitively…the book was better.

While the cute teen romance is certainly the center of the book’s story, it’s not the only thing the book is about. See, while the book certainly follows Natasha and Daniel and all their romantic exploits, it also gives little side-chapters to various side-characters and this is a cool mechanic for a variety of reasons that I will get into later.

The book created this beautiful narrative about how interconnected all us humans really are by taking time to focus on characters we normally don’t give a second thought to when reading and/or watching something. The closest the movie comes to this is with some (albeit beautifully shot) scenes of New York spliced in between the scenes with Daniel and Natasha. It’s a cool concept, really…but it could have been so much more.

Honestly, that’s how I felt about the entire movie. It’s a cool concept. It’s decent. It’s okay. BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE.

Lemme say here that if you’ve never read the book, it’s possible you’ll like the movie. My dad liked it, and I actually felt like my mom and I had a hard time convincing him why the book was actually better (or it’s just that my dad likes being contrary to everything). Regardless of specifics, it’s still a cool story filled with love and hope and whatever.

But…

The story the book presents isn’t just cool and filled with love and hope. It’s bursting at the seams with it. It takes your expectations and slams them into the ground. It reminds you that not all humans are perfect, that sometimes things still don’t work out and we may never know the reason why, that what seems like an ending is sometimes just the beginning, that sometimes the most seemingly insignificant action can change absolutely everything for the better.

While the movie is a nice, heartfelt escape for a couple hours, the book is a complete emotional journey all on its own. I kept wanting to enjoy the movie for what it was, but I couldn’t not compare it to the incredible source material. I mean they ended up changing so much, I don’t get why they didn’t just make a completely new story. They’d already taken out the heart and soul of the source material, so…I dunno, man. Hollywood, I guess.

So all that being said, let’s dive into exactly what made the movie so lackluster compared to the book, and the beautiful movie we could have had.

Spoiler warning now in effect!! And by that I mean, please read the book because it’s phenomenal, then read my review to learn why you absolutely should not see the movie.

THE MUSIC

It’s cute.

I mean, it’s the soundtrack to a cheesy teen love story to a T.

(There might be more to the soundtrack, I admittedly for once wasn’t really paying attention to the music because I was too distracted watching one of my favorite books absolutely be torn to shreds on the big screen. Anyway.)

HOWEVER…

There’s a scene where Daniel takes Natasha to norebang, (Korean karaoke). It’s a crucial scene in both versions of the story because it’s the scene where the barriers finally break and Natasha finally admits she has Feelings, and the two kiss for the first time. Since it’s karaoke, music is kind of a crucial element!

In the movie, the song Daniel sings is “Crimson and Clover” which is aight, and while it starts out with him singing, it slowly melds into the actual recorded version of the song because by that point we’ve entered Montage Land. The montage is basically Natasha and Daniel’s entire romantic future. It’s sweet and beautifully shot, and probably serves to make up for the lack of montage that was supposed to occur when Natasha and Daniel met (like what happens in the book). Near the end of the song, the makeout session happens, Natasha gets a reminder about her appointment and promptly leaves, so on and so forth.

In the book, the song Daniel sings is “Take a Chance on Me” which is very on the nose and that’s the entire point. While Daniel croons to Natasha in both scenarios, there’s something in the book that is sadly missing from the film–Natasha’s singing.

Natasha is a huge music fan in the book. Specifically, she’s very into Nirvana and Soundgarden. The song she chooses to sing in the norebang is “Fell on Black Days,” and there is truly nothing more endearing than reading Daniel’s POV about how Natasha is an awful, awful singer–but she gives it her all because she loves the song.

I get that we’re against making girls in movies look/act like anything other than completely desirable because that’s what sells I guess, but COME ON. It’s not Daniel’s crooning that leads to the makeout session in the norebang–it’s Natasha’s awful singing filled with pure bliss that leads to a connection that leads to the makeout session in the norebang.

There’s also an entire scene in a record store that got cut for the movie. There’s a very crucial plot point with Natasha’s phone case, a Nirvana album cover on the case, that got cut for the movie.

The music used for the film is fine, it really is, but it ignores everything that made music so important in the story in the first place. Natasha may be cynical and a lover of science, but what captivates Daniel initially is her passionate connection to music. While Natasha still has big bulky headphones that get broken when Daniel saves her life, the movie never touches on her deep connection to music, which means we never get introduced to Irene’s connection to the same music, so on and so forth.

“But wait, who’s Irene?” I hear you asking, “there wasn’t anyone in the movie named Irene!”

Precisely.

THE CHARACTERS

Like I mentioned earlier, the book focuses on other characters and their stories just as it follows Natasha and Daniel. If you saw the film, the narrated slideshow sections that discuss the history of Korean-owned black hair care stores and Natasha’s parents’ romance is a brief taste of what the book offers in that sense. I kept thinking that they could easily have done the short chapters that focus on extra characters in the same way, but alas, they did not.

But let’s start out just by talking about the characters the movie does give us.

Natasha Kingsley is preeeetty close to her book counterpart. She’s a no-nonsense girl who loves science and space and has truly grown up in America, so it makes perfect sense why she doesn’t want to leave. We get a sense she has a strained relationship with her parents (though not nearly as much as in the book) but overall, despite claiming she doesn’t believe in love, her life is filled with it. There are other characters in the book that help to develop her character but are absent in the movie. Her best friend in the world is gone, although we get short snippets of scenes where Natasha is with a small group of friends. Her terrible ex-boyfriend is gone, which is unfortunate because he has a fun scene in the record store that doesn’t exist in the movie, and he has an important conversation with Natasha about their relationship. Overall Natasha is basically the person she is in the book (although she’s even more resistant to Daniel in the book) and that at least was fun to see come to screen. It’s unfortunate that the people and relationships that help define her were so toned down, but more on that later.

Daniel Jae Wong Bae is an interesting dude. He, too, is relatively close to his book counterpart, although I would offer that Movie Daniel is a lot more suave and put together than Book Daniel. Book Daniel is a bit of a dork who overthinks everything, and he’s anything but confident about how things will go with Natasha (anything he says about “I’ll make you fall in love with me” is a front in the book for a true disaster child who likes a pretty girl and wants to keep being with her. This element is not really present in the movie). I don’t know why Daniel’s friend character in the movie is even a thing since he…truly serves no purpose, but whatever. The relationship that really defines Daniel is his relationship with his brother Charles, and this is another thing the movie is sorely lacking.

Even the chapters in the book that talk about Charles confirm that he is basically the Worst Human Being Ever. Book Charles is snarky and merciless and while you can tell it probably stems from some deeper issues, he is largely completely irredeemable because he chooses to be. Movie Charles is a bit of an asshole, sure, but he has some form of redemption in the movie because he wants it–normally I’d be all over this, but it’s weird here because I know what Book Charles is like. It’s strange to see a character who actively chooses to be terrible in the book get turned into someone who suddenly chooses to be and do better. For example, the only reason Book Charles gives Natasha Daniel’s number is because, like Natasha points out, Daniel’s family will not be happy about him dating a black girl. Finally, the heat will get taken off of Charles and his parents will be disappointed in Daniel for once. The narrator points out that this is the last decent thing Charles ever does for his brother. It’s dynamic. It’s fascinating. It’s a little malicious. Movie Charles, on the other hand, gives Natasha Daniel’s number because she “really likes him, right?” And it’s presented as some kind and decent act because he loves his brother. Book Charles may have once loved his brother–he doesn’t any more, and that’s very real. We want to believe in the perfect, accepting family no matter what…but that’s not real.

“But it’s a fictitious story–” YES I KNOW.

Jeremy Martinez (changed from Jeremy Fitzgerald in the book) is the lawyer who can supposedly fix Natasha’s whole situation…except that he can’t. The story we get in the movie is that Jeremy Martinez was biking to work on the Day Everything Went Down when he was hit by a car. His injuries weren’t serious, and he was able to meet Natasha and conduct Daniel’s interview, but there’s something else–he met his future wife in the hospital that day. It’s a sweet story, for sure, and it’s the movie’s way of trying to make up for ruining everything else, I guess. More on him and his story later.

Daniel and Natasha’s families are present, and they show up occasionally for cringe purposes or to make us sad, but they’re not developed nearly to the extent they are in the book. But again…more on that later.

And then we have Daniel’s weird best friend who exists for exactly one (1) scene before vanishing into…somewhere.

The movie doesn’t give us Irene. Or Hannah. Or Joe. The movie cuts out exactly what made the book not “just another” teen romance story–the side characters and how they connect to our two leads.

I can’t even find pictures of side characters because WE ONLY CARE ABOUT NATASHA AND DANIEL I GUESS

THE SIDE CHARACTERS

Let’s start with our most important side character–Irene the security guard. We are introduced to Irene fairly early on, she’s the security guard Natasha always runs into when she’s going to a meeting about immigration. Natasha thinks Irene is weird because Irene always touches everyone’s stuff when they go through the security scanners. In fact, on the Morning When Everything Happened, Natasha is late for her appointment because Irene was inspecting her phone case (the Nirvana one that didn’t matter in the movie). This is important, because Natasha being late for her initial appointment is what led her to meeting Jeremy Fitzgerald/Martinez.

In Irene’s separate chapter, we learn that Irene purposely touches people’s stuff in the security line so they’re forced to look at her and interact with her because Irene is dangerously and cripplingly lonely. So much so that when she notices Natasha’s phone case, she looks up Nirvana and Kurt Cobain and it is his story that convinces her to end her own life the following day.

Later in the story, after Natasha has accepted her feelings for Daniel and it looks like she might be able to stay after all, she calls the office where Irene works and asks them to thank Irene for her; because without Irene making her late, none of the following day would have even happened.

We don’t meet Irene again until the end of the book, but we learn that Irene got the message and the thank you, and because of that, decided not to end her own life. She switched careers and became a flight attendant, and she is extremely happy.

…we’ll get back to her.

Our next important side-character is Hannah Winter, the secretary for Jeremy Fitzgerald/Martinez. When we first meet her, she seems a little…eccentric. Natasha immediately assumes that Hannah is in love with her boss, that she’s devastated about the accident with the car. Daniel meets her later and finds a kindred spirit who believes in the magic of love.

In Hannah’s separate chapter, we learn that she is indeed a hopeless romantic who is very much in love with her boss. She has gone her whole life feeling like the side-character, the best friend rather than the leading lady. She believes in fairy tales, and with Jeremy, she feels like finally she found her own.

This segues nicely into Jeremy Fitzgerald. He’s super nice and well-meaning, and here’s what we learn about him: he is also in love with Hannah Winter, but he is married with kids. The Day Everything Happens, he comes back to the office from the hospital and takes Hannah to a hotel and spend the afternoon with her there.

He decides he has to end the affair with Hannah.

Hannah leaves.

Through Daniel, Jeremy is encouraged to maybe not give up on love and maybe, just maybe, go after Hannah.

We learn that Jeremy leaves his wife and his kids. His wife marries again, and divorces again. His kids grow up not believing in love and they, too, marry…and divorce. Multiple times. Hannah and Jeremy get married and have kids of their own. Hannah and Jeremy’s kids believe in love and grow up to have happy, healthy marriages of their own.

In the book, Jeremy is only unable to postpone Natasha’s deportation because he spent the afternoon with Hannah. It was a simple phone call he didn’t make because he was having an affair. Natasha and Daniel never learn this. But we do.

In the movie, Jeremy is just simply unable to postpone it, but we never learn why. Hannah Winter is present, but she’s nothing more than a secretary. There is no torrid, secret affair that results in broken families as well as happy and healthy ones.

Another side character is the driver of the car that almost hits Natasha and, in the movie at least (it’s never confirmed in the book), does hit Jeremy. The driver is frazzled and disoriented because he lost his teenage daughter to a drunk driver.

The waitress from the Korean restaurant who forces Natasha to use chopsticks is bitter because her son got married and her husband wouldn’t let them go to the wedding. Her son didn’t marry a Korean girl.

The security guard who lets Natasha and Daniel on the roof does so because he remembers his wife and how they would have done the same thing. His wife who always told him to quit smoking, just like Natasha did.

The taxi driver who takes Natasha and Daniel to the airport doesn’t comment or talk to them because he knows what damage looks like.

Everyone is important.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone behaves the way they do because of something else.

No one is alone in anything.

This lovely element is missing from the movie in every way imaginable.

THE FAMILY STORIES

While this is lightly touched on, it’s much more detailed in the book.

In the book, we get a taste of just how important it is to Daniel’s parents for him to go to a good school and be well-off. Daniel’s dad lived in absolute poverty, and if it’s possible for his son to avoid that, he wants that desperately. To the point where if Daniel decides to go somewhere else and do something else with his life, he will be cut off.

In the book, we get a really intense look at how broken Natasha’s family is and why. In the movie, Natasha’s family is being deported because there was a random raid at the kitchen where Natasha’s dad works. It’s unfortunate and unfair, but it’s not necessarily tragic in the sense that it is in the book.

In the book, Samuel Kingsley wants to be an actor. He goes to America first to work on pursuing this dream. At first, it seems like things are going well. But no one will cast him. Finally, Natasha’s mom moves to America with Natasha so they can all be together. Samuel keeps auditioning, and he keeps getting rejected. At some point, Patricia Kingsley goes out to get multiple jobs just to keep the family afloat in their one-bedroom apartment. She’s bitter and disillusioned, so that when Samuel does finally get cast in something, she refuses to go.

The night of the play, Natasha and her little brother Peter go. They go home alone because Samuel wants to stay and celebrate with the other actors. He’s drunk when he tries to drive home. He gets pulled over for a DUI and ends up telling the officer that he and his family are undocumented.

In the book, they are getting deported pretty much solely because of Samuel Kingsley. Because of this, Natasha has an extremely complicated relationship with her father. She has a heartfelt confrontation with him near the end of the book when she brings Daniel home before they have to leave. It develops and rounds out not only Natasha’s character, but her father’s as well.

I kind of get why the movie changed this element. To some extent, it becomes “too many stories to tell” and we don’t want to pull away from Natasha and Daniel or something. Plus, having his deportation be completely not his fault does highlight how ridiculous immigration stuff is in America.

But here’s the thing with that!

When you read the book, the family stories and the side stories never detract from the main love story–they only add to it. By taking all that away, you’re hollowing out Natasha and Daniel’s characters, and the story suffers greatly for it.

Not as much as it does when we get to the ending, however…

Why do they spend the whole night in a park again? Just why? Also why do they LOOK like they DIDN’T spend a whole night in a park? CURSE YOU, HOLLYWOOD!!

THE ENDING

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh OKAY.

In the book and the movie, Natasha and her family get deported. The book makes it clear that Natasha and Daniel tried to stay in contact at first, but they just naturally grew apart. The movie sort of shows this to some extent.

The movie then picks up 5 years later, in the same coffee shop where Natasha and Daniel first met. Natasha is meeting our buddy Jeremy Martinez/Fitzgerald, and she asks if he by any chance remembers Daniel and might know anything about him. She explains that she’s back in the U.S. on a student visa, and she leaves for San Francisco (I think) in the morning and she’d hoped to find him before she left. Jeremy, being incredibly unhelpful, is all “nah bro, but I do remember that day because that’s when I met my wife! She was the nurse who attended me when I got hit by that car!” And Natasha’s all “cool I guess, not what I asked but whatever.”

She stands up to leave, and the camera moves to show that none other than Daniel himself is walking next to her, but neither of them recognize each other. Just as Natasha goes to open the door to leave, Daniel takes over the open mic and says “this is a poem about the sun.” Natasha slowly turns, they make eye contact, they reconnect, nobody in the coffee shop even reacts because that’s definitely realistic, end of movie.

Now, the BOOK.

The actual end of the book is just that Natasha and Daniel grew up and grew apart. That’s it.

The real ending comes with the Epilogue.

Remember Irene?

The epilogue is another of Irene’s POV chapters. See, after she got the call about Natasha thanking her, Irene decided not to end her life. Instead, she got the help she needed, quit her job, and got a new job as a flight attendant. She loves her new job. For the first time, we hear about Irene being truly happy and not lonely anymore.

We catch up with her on one particular flight, where she’s walking down the aisles doing final checks and she recognizes Natasha in one of the seats. Now, in the book, this is 10 years later. Irene asks Natasha if, by any chance, she recognizes her. She wants to thank Natasha for how she changed her life. At first, Natasha seems a little wary, but she does recognize her.

At that moment, someone else on the plane says “Natasha?”

Irene describes how Natasha sees, a few rows ahead of her and across the aisle, a Korean boy. Irene describes Natasha smiling as she says “Daniel.”

That’s the end.

I feel like while both the book and the movie keep the general idea of impossible reunion years later against all odds, the book’s take is–you guessed it!–better. By putting us in Irene’s POV for the final reunion, we take an outsider’s perspective, which is what we’ve truly been all along. We no longer have access to Natasha and Daniel’s thoughts. We are another passenger on the plane, seeing this reunion that shouldn’t have happened. Somehow the reunion feels all the more impossible when we’re viewing it like Irene is–someone who may not have the full story behind these two, but can tell that somehow, what’s happening is amazing.

It’s a realistically hopeful take on a love that the world says should not work out.

Yet it does.

The movie’s ending is okay–really it is. Daniel reading a poem about the sun being the thing that causes Natasha to turn around is cute. The point that they reunite is still evident.

But there’s something beautifully poetic about Natasha and Daniel only reuniting because Irene says Natasha’s name on the plane. Maybe they would have run into each other at the airport…maybe not. But because Natasha made one phone call to thank a security guard because she decided without that security guard, she never would have met Daniel…because of that one phone call…that security guard turned flight attendant is what allows them to meet again 10 years later.

The book ends before we discover if they rekindled anything between them. We don’t know what their circumstances are or where they’re headed or why. But we do know that miraculously, they were given a second chance together. Maybe their tragic parting was all so their reunion could be that much sweeter–maybe they can be together now where they couldn’t years before. The truth is we don’t know for sure. And I actually like that more. It’s up to the reader to interpret what exactly is the end of Natasha and Daniel’s story. If there even is one. Maybe it’s still playing out, in all of us, every time we are kind to someone else when it seems insignificant.

You never know where that act of kindness might lead, or why.

But it’s kind of fun to think about.

THE SUMMATION

Look–like I said before, I clearly have a bias here. I read the book and fell in love. I was transported to some version of our universe where despite everything, love wins. I fell in love with every character we met and I loved knowing every little piece of their story I was given. I loved getting to see how everything connected by the end, despite everything.

The movie is, solely and entirely, a love story. It’s not a bad love story. It still focuses on immigration issues and family pressures and the injustice of it all. But it never strays too far from its focus: the love between Natasha and Daniel.

It’s why their reunion at the end of the movie, though very watered-down from the book, works. Because that reunion is perfect for what it is: a love story.

I would argue that while the movie tells a love story, the book tells a story about love–all different kinds. That’s why I think it’s so powerful. That’s why I think if you’re looking for some beautiful love story, you should really read the book.

Really.

I read it in a day. Partly because I had a deadline since we’d already bought tickets for the movie, but really though. It’s a quick powerful read that will make you feel all sorts of things. In a good way. I mean I definitely cried. A lot.

But like…wouldn’t you rather deal with a story that made you cry and feel things because you loved the characters, rather than tried to make you cry with all its superficial symbolism and angst and poorly-dealt-with female robot characters?

(*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*)

Anyway.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

So if it wasn’t abundantly clear by now–no.

I mean…ugh. Look, if you’re not a book person, that’s…fine…I guess, but please please please, if the trailer for the movie looked intriguing, read the book. It tells Natasha and Daniel’s story so much better than the movie does.

However, if that’s not your thing, which I don’t personally get but whatever I don’t know you, I don’t know your life, you might like the movie. My dad didn’t read the book and he thought the movie was great (despite my mom and I trying to convince him otherwise by constantly going off with “AND ANOTHER THING…”).

The movie tells a good story. It’s not a bad movie by any means.

But it could have been so much more.

Which is why I give The Sun is Also a Star

2/5 BITTER SUNS!!!

Because the sun may also be a star, but it deserves a better movie than this.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

The only new friend we have to talk about is My Spy which I just figured out stars the guy who plays Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy. Hopefully I like My Spy more than Guardians (OOOOoooooooOooooOOOOH SHE DOESN’T LIKE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY OOOooooOOooOOOH yeah yeah shut up). Best part of the trailer is when the girl knocks the fish bowl over to cause a distraction and he just “*GASP* LITTLE BLUE!!!!” Because same.

That about does it for this review!! The movie is…fine.

But please, please do yourself a favor and READ THE BOOK.

Long Shot (2019) REVIEW

So maybe a week ago? Two weeks ago? Whatever time isn’t real.

Anyway, I took myself (and the parents) to the movies and we saw Long Shot.

I did mention Long Shot in the “trailers to watch out for” section of…something. Again, time isn’t real.

I desperately wanted this to be good because there have been so many not great romantic comedies recently and I really, really wanted one.

This one? This one is good. This one is real good.

THE PLOT

So we start off by following Fred Flarsky (Seth Rogan), a no-nonsense journalist who is currently in the middle of going undercover at a white supremacist meeting/rally thing to try and expose them. In the middle of getting a swastika tattoo, his cover is blown and he has to escape–right out a window. Somehow, he survives this incident (this is a theme throughout the movie, Fred is made of some crazy indestructible materials apparently) and is able to escape successfully.

(sidenote–can we talk about how amazing it is that normally in a romantic comedy, the trope is for the girl to be the journalist and the guy to be some successful something or other? The roles are switched here and it’s GREAT)

We then catch up with Charlotte Field (Charlize Theron), the current Secretary of State, as she goes about her normal morning routine of doing the impossible all at once and flawlessly. Seriously, it’s kind of uncomfortable watching her do a phone interview while on an exercise bike. How.

Charlotte is called in to meet with the current president, President Chambers (Bob Odenkirk). Chambers is an…unconventional president to say the least, and in one of my favorite moments, he compliments her on being a great secretary (“…of State.” She adds), and she is able to get him to say he will endorse her for future president while making it seem like it was his idea and a good thing for him to do all at once. Seriously, she’s amazing, and she knows how to play the game.

Charlotte’s employees, Maggie Millikin (June Diane Raphael) and Tom (Ravi Patel) sit with her while they are meeting some other team members to go over Charlotte’s numbers. Of course, most of the numbers are about her likability rather than her policies because this is America and that’s how we judge women. The main number she needs to work on currently is sense of humor, so Maggie suggests some speech writers for Charlotte to interview who will help with that.

Meanwhile, Fred quits his job because the company gets bought out by Parker Wembley (Andy Serkis). Wembley is…not a great guy, to say the very least, and Fred complains that much of the company’s goals at least originally were to expose people like Wembley. But in true capitalistic fashion, money wins, and Fred quits.

Fred’s bestie Lance (O’Shea Jackson Jr.) gets him into a fancy party in an attempt to cheer him up, and that’s where Fred and Charlotte meet again for the first time in years. Charlotte used to babysit for Fred when she was in high school, and they haven’t seen each other since. Charlotte calls him over because she feels like she remembers him, and the two have a very adorable meet-cute which is promptly interrupted by Fred confronting Wembley, which is promptly interrupted by Fred flying face-first down the stairs (I’m telling you, he’s indestructible).

Later, Charlotte looks up some of Fred’s writing and likes it enough that she tells Maggie to bring him in. Maggie is less than thrilled about this, but Fred ends up getting the job as speechwriter.

What follows is a surprisingly heartfelt exploration of modern romance, women in the political field, and what it means to be a public figure vs. maybe what it should mean.

THE REVIEW

This movie is great. Really.

I mean I was hoping I would like it, but I really wasn’t prepared to actually love it?

I’m generally not a Seth Rogen person, but he was delightful in this film. He did a great job at playing this quirky little dork of a character with a lot of heart, and it was genuinely heartbreaking watching him doubt himself and end things in order to not compromise who he was.

Also Charlize Theron?? Gorgeous. Stunning. I love her.

I mean, I was laughing out loud, crying a lil’ bit, and thinking a lot. This movie is incredibly politically self-aware, and I applaud it for not shying away from that at all? It definitely isn’t slap-you-in-the-face obvious about it, and it’s clear that the romance and the relationship is in the spotlight, but it also deals with so much more than that in a really smart way.

It’s a clever character study that also shines a light on our current political climate and also like…society as a whole? Like the more I think about this movie the more I’m genuinely impressed with how much it crammed in there. And not crammed in a bad way either, everything was connected and it never felt like too much.

Now, of course, this is a Seth Rogen movie so there’s a fair amount of raunchy humor. I would argue that it never steals the spotlight and I wouldn’t categorize it as a raunchy comedy flick because, again, it’s so much more than that. It’s incredibly clever and endearing.

Okay, I could be vague forever, but what is it exactly that makes this movie so genuinely good?

Spoiler warning now in effect! Although…I mean it’s a romcom so like…I dunno. I say it just to be safe but there’s nothing really to spoil, I don’t think. Anyway.

THE MUSIC

So good and pure and just fun.

I can’t find the official soundtrack on Spotify, but there’s one cinematic orchestra piece in particular that I remember, and it’s from the scene pictured above where they’re working in Charlotte’s room before the attack happens. It was just really sweet and lovely sounding, and it kind of reminded me of the music from The Holiday (HANS ZIMMERRRRRRRRR I love him).

Other than that, there’s of course the party scene where Boyz II Men performs, which is super fun, and of course…the scene where Charlotte and Fred slow dance in the kitchen during the party because they can’t dance in public and I just…Fred plays “It Must Have Been Love” from the Pretty Woman soundtrack (the fact that their romance is like a gender bent Pretty Woman is something Lance brings up earlier on) and it’s SO. PURE.

It also foreshadows their breakup later on which is super sad, but it’s a romcom so like everything ends up fine, I promise.

THE CHARACTERS

One of my favorite elements of any romcom are the well-developed characters all around, and this movie, thankfully, is no exception.

Fred is like a giant human puppy and I love him. He’s funny, of course, but he’s also devoted and clever and opinionated and doesn’t compromise for anything, tough as it may be. Rogen does a really, really great job at portraying such a wholesome character. I mean given his comedian background and the rest of his filmography, I was expecting Rogen to crush the comedy element, but he also does a brilliant job with the more serious scenes. I mean, when he tells Charlotte that he can’t go through with the character training in order to be her public partner because he won’t compromise who he is?? ICONIC. It’s so clear that he is so much more than just “the funny guy the pretty girl falls in love with,” and I really appreciate that. Is he still an idiot guy with raunchy jokes and moments? Oh for sure. But he’s not only that.

Charlize Theron brings so, so much to the part of Charlotte. In some ways I think Charlotte is really the main character more than Fred, which I love. One of my absolute favorite scenes is when Charlotte announces she’ll be running for president–and so much of that is Theron’s acting. You can see the physical change in her when she goes from straitlaced, perfect public figure to actual human being and sad girl in love, and it’s actually amazing. Charlotte is, thankfully, a fully-developed, incredible female character. She has reasons for everything she does, and if she doesn’t, we see her figure out her reasons. She’s strong and brilliant just as much as she is emotional and powerless. Seeing her battle the political climate is heart wrenching, and then seeing her overpower it and win? I. LOVE. IT.

Yet again, we have a beautiful example of a fully-fledged female character who is relatable and lovable because we see all sides of her, and not despite it *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get over that.

Anyway, Lance is another really wonderful character. He’s the best friend who knocks sense into Fred whenever necessary, but he also has a fair amount of development? One of my favorite, favorite scenes is when he reveals that he’s a Republican and a Christian. The scene is played out in such a way that it defines his character, but it also…doesn’t? His character is presented in such a way that you as the audience member probably had your own prejudices and assumptions about him that get absolutely smashed in that one scene. You get called out just as much as Fred does. But Lance is so wholesome about it? He’s still the same character you knew from the beginning of the film. Now you just know a little more about him. I appreciate it. I love him. I want him to be my friend.

Maggie and Tom (but Maggie especially) are also great characters. This movie is almost like a version of Pride and Prejudice with how much it tackles those subjects. Maggie is so scared of and obsessed with public opinion that she does all she can to politely separate Fred and Charlotte, but when she sees everyone’s positive reaction to them as a couple? You take a deep breath with her. You are happy and relieved just like she is. Your prejudice about humanity being judgmental is changed just like hers is. As much as you may want Fred and Charlotte together, you also fear for the public reaction just as much as Maggie does. As frustrating as Maggie can be, she’s never unlikable because it’s easy to see yourself in her, and her mini arc is just as satisfying as the romantic one.

Parker Wembley is a terrible human being, but he’s supposed to be, so he’s a great character. Also–he doesn’t win. SO SATISFYING.

President Chambers is such a cheeky take on the presidency that you can’t help but love him. I mean you want to shake him sometimes, but he’s also such a cleverly written character that you have to appreciate him to some degree. Also–he doesn’t win. ALSO SO SATISFYING.

Pretty much every character you meet is developed and has a story and reasons for behaving the way they do, and it’s such a refreshing sight.

THE ROMANCE

So you know how with some romcoms, everything else is really good but the actual romance itself is just kinda…eh? Like the plot is good, the characters themselves are great, the idea is awesome, and then the couple is just…ehhhhhh?

But then there are some romcoms where the romance steals the show. Your heart is full, your skin is clear, and your crops are watered…everything is perfect.

This romance? Iconic.

What makes the movie work so well is that just as it advertises, Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen should not work. I mean…look at them.

But again, these are so much more human and real than they are just characters. Fred is more than just a bumbling goofball, and Charlotte is more than just a beautiful woman. Fred has his serious, beautiful moments just as much as Charlotte has her over-the-top ridiculous moments. There’s something about the way it’s written that just…works. I can’t really describe it, and I truly think you have to see it to believe it. It’s an experience.

What I love, too, is that the more lighthearted romantic moments are just as meaningful as the more serious ones. I mean, the two of them watching movies together is just as cute as the two of them slow-dancing in a kitchen. The two of them getting high and dancing at clubs is just as heartwarming as the two of them spending quiet moments together on planes.

And don’t even get me started on the super serious sad scenes. We never see Charlotte scared because she can’t be a scared woman in politics, but when she suggests that Fred change his character in order to be with her in public? When she comes to his apartment and cries about how much she loves him and wants to be with him? IT’S SO SWEET AND HEARTFELT I WILL CRY FOREVER.

The romance is so endearing because it’s so, so hopeful. Movies aren’t really hopeful anymore. Romance is now used for cynical plots in stories, or never brought up at all. Couples don’t get to be happy anymore. It’s exhausting.

But this story? Fred and Charlotte are best friends as much as they are lovers, and we all know that couple in our lives. Sure, modern romance is like, impossible. But we know it exists. I love that this movie gave it to us, and showed us that it can win.

Also I’m a diehard romantic so this was RIGHT UP MY ALLEY, OKAY. LEAVE ME ALONE.

THE COMEDY

As much as I laughed at Adam Sandler’s SNL jab at the movie for being about a dorky guy and beautiful woman since Sandler’s done that plot so many times before, I liked this movie better. Like, don’t get me wrong, 50 First Dates is one of my favorites forever and Just Go With It has one of my favorite romantic scenes ever–but this movie has all of that without falling back on typical adult, raunchy humor. Again, there are moments of that! But it’s always for a purpose and never just to get a reaction out of the audience. Sandler’s comedies are filled with that stuff because that’s his brand, but this movie?

Fred pulling out all his drugs during the security check comes back later because that’s how we know he’s able to get drugs for the crazy party night with Charlotte. Their first sex scene where they “don’t last long” is funny and uncomfortable all at once because it seems real. It’s not played up for laughs, but played up for endearment. Fred’s unfortunate video that gets shared to the public is hard to watch and yeah, it’s like the ultimate raunch moment, but it’s a key plot point for a reason: Charlotte calls out the public for judging because “you all do it.” It’s humanizing them rather than characterizing them.

The comedy in the film is never used in a degrading way. It’s always genuinely funny because it’s real, it’s clever, and it’s got heart. Empty comedy never sticks with you or means as much as comedy filled with heart does. It’s good for a quick laugh, sure, but it doesn’t mean anything.

It was so fun to laugh out loud during this film, and there were so many moments that did that. I mean, the evolution of Fred’s tattoo, the one that was going to be a swastika? AMAZING. The entire scene where Charlotte saves a hostage over the phone while she’s high? COMEDY.

The comedy never takes away from the plot and romance, it only adds to it, and it works so, so well.

THE WHOLE

This movie is enjoyable on so many levels, and I’ll try to explain it best as I can, but I really think it’s better to see it to fully grasp it.

1. Everything Charlotte has to put up with as a woman in politics is really well-handled. She has a public face she puts on that is such a fake smile, it actually hurts to watch. All of her team is concerned with her public appearance because that’s how she’ll be graded. She’s willing to compromise her climate change proposal so it’s less useful but looks good and has more people onboard. She has to be funny and strong-willed and beautiful but not too much so. When the president tells her to change her proposal to suit investors or he won’t endorse her and she breaks down, it’s sad to watch. When she is blackmailed into changing her relationship with Fred and ultimately losing it, it’s so, so sad to watch. However, when she takes a breath and tells the public that she loves Fred, deal with it? It was like taking a deep breath and like, physically relaxing to see. She has to do so much more as a woman and the movie doesn’t shy away from the reality of that at all. The best part? She wins. SO SATISFYING. INCREDIBLY SATISFYING.

2. The political commentary as a whole is on the nose but also not at the same time? It never calls anyone out…directly, per se, but if you’re looking for it? The commentary is everywhere, and it’s delightful. President who used to be on a tv show? Yep. Sleazy capitalist guy who looks like…a certain someone everyone knows? Yep. Climate change proposal getting shot down and changed because of big companies? Yep. It doesn’t take away from the film at all, and if you’re not focused on it, it just adds to the realism. But if you’re looking for it? It’s satisfying. So, so satisfying.

3. The scene between Lance and Fred near the end where they talk about Lance being Republican and Fred being racist is incredible. There is so much you can unpack in that one scene that, again, you really have to experience it to fully understand it. It’s just…it’s so well-written, I can’t say enough about it.

4. THE ENTIRE ENDING SEQUENCE WHERE CHARLOTTE BECOMES PRESIDENT AND FRED BECOMES FIRST MISTER AND HE’S SO EXCITED ABOUT IT?? I was crying. I mean part of it was because we finally got to see a woman get sworn in as president (even though it’s fake) and that just really broke something in me, but it’s also like the ultimate victorious hopeful ending. It’s just so uplifting. I’m filled with joy just thinking about it. MY HEART IS FULL AND I AM CRYING AGAIN.

5. I love how much it makes you question political/public figures and the public’s relationship to them. Fred and Charlotte are clearly in love, but they have so much trouble being a couple because everyone’s so afraid of the public reaction and it’s just like…who are we to decide who someone can love? We have no right to this to begin with? Why are real people suddenly our own personal soap opera?? Why is humanity like this.

FAVORITE MOMENT

I loved so much of it, but I am especially obsessed with the scene where Charlotte saves the hostage while high and then announces her victory with a big victory scream and pose, and then of course the scene between Fred and Lance near the end.

“OOF” MOMENT

Look, Fred’s masturbation video is uncomfortable to watch. It just is. But it’s played up in such a genius way for the plot that I actually appreciate it. It’s still uncomfortable, but it’s used so well.

What is an “oof” is the scene where Wembley blackmails Charlotte. It’s sucky. It’s awful.

But he doesn’t win HAHAHA!!

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

YES. PLEASE.

I do think I can see how this movie wouldn’t be for everyone, but please believe me when I say it is so incredibly heartfelt and witty and clever. It’s just such a feel-good time that also makes you think about society and the political climate but like not in an over-the-top way? It always stays so classy??

I genuinely can’t recommend this movie enough. It’s so good.

I give Long Shot

5/5 COMEDIC POLITICAL SPEECHES!!

That last one is just all emojis, you have to read them out loud.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Late Night looks really, really good and I hope it’s just as good as it looks. Plus I just love Emma Thompson a lot. I’m not a huge Mindy Kaling person but maybe this movie will change that!

Stuber looks like it could be good, but it could also not. Trailers sometimes make it impossible to tell. But this at least looks like it could be a lot of fun.

Shaft doesn’t really look appealing to me, but maybe it’s better than I think it looks. Who knows!

Anna…looks like a movie. Sometimes action movie trailers are all like “action!!! Explosions!!! Gunfire!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” But like…what is the movie about? Is it just gunfire for two hours? Is there a story?…please?

That about does it for this review!!

If you need a feel-good movie, if you need a good romantic comedy with a lot of modern commentary, if you need to feel hopeful, if you love Charlize Theron in really pretty outfits (saying that, I realize how much that is not the point of the movie since the whole thing is about how much we judge women based on looks…) but also playing a really badass character (fixed it), please take yourself to the movies to see Long Shot!

Like, this almost had to be a shorter review because I can’t fully do it justice. There’s so much about it to appreciate by seeing it in person. It’s a good escapism to a version of the US with a lot of hope. So…I mean you may not like it if you’re really conservative…but then again, maybe hearing Seth Rogen’s in it already made your decision for you, I don’t know you, I don’t know your life.