Arcane Act 3 REVIEW

Oh hey y’all

How are we doing

Have we recovered yet

I have not

(“But it’s been over a month and now it’s literally a whole new year how are you still not–”

“I KNOW THAT THANKS AND NO, I AM STILL NOT OKAY”)

I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to end HAPPILY or anything, but I could still dream, right? I ALSO DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD END LIKE THAT MY GOD AHHHHHHHHH

When I first finished Act 3, I sat in shock for a good like…3 full minutes, at least. To say the ending felt like a gut punch is a serious understatement–like in a good way. I mean, I thought so, at least.

I wasn’t entirely sure what I felt about it, though–my brain just like, couldn’t process everything they threw at us.

So I watched the entire thing again, naturally. Having finished the re-watch, I am now here with my thoughts.

And my tears.

SPOILER WARNING NOW IN EFFECT–PLEASE GO WATCH THIS FOR YOURSELF I AM BEGGING YOU IT’S LIKE. GOOD.

I MEAN IT WILL CRUSH YOUR EMOTIONS BUT WE ALL NEED A GOOD EMOTION-CRUSHING NOW AND AGAIN, RIGHT

ANYWAY

SPOILERS

THE STORY

Picking up right where we left off at the end of Act 2 (no time-skip this time), it turns out both Vi AND Caitlyn were taken by the Firelights, and yes, they also nabbed the crystal. Vi and Caitlyn are arguing about who’s at fault here, who was lying about what, so on and so forth, all the usual flirty banter, until one of the Firelights comes in and takes Vi away, leaving Caitlyn alone.

Vi is led to the leader of the Firelights, who is revealed to be, drumroll please….EKKO. Wow shocking none of us saw that coming omgggggg

okay anyway

Ekko is initially furious at Vi, because he hasn’t seen her since pre-timeskip, a.k.a., since the factory explosion–he assumed she was killed in the blast like Mylo, Claggor, and (presumably) Vander. Now here she is, with an ENFORCER, so he has no idea whose side she’s on. Vi manages to convince him that she never meant to make him think she died or abandoned anyone, it was just the circumstances of being knocked out and imprisoned for years ya know, and they have a really heartwarming lil hug. Vi tells him that Caitlyn is actually like, decent, and she’s completely oblivious to everything happening in the Undercity and everything bad the Enforcers are doing. Caitlyn thinks if she can get the gemstone back topside and to Jayce (who’s like, in charge now or something I guess), she can make a case for the Firelights and get help against Silco and all that jazz. Ekko is skeptical, and says he will join Cait and Vi on their trek back to Piltover and to the Council, not wanting to let the gemstone go that easily. Caitlyn agrees, and the group head out.

Unfortunately, they’re about to run into trouble. You see Jayce, in his never-ending crusade of just the absolute worst decisions but people keep listening to him because he’s pretty I guess, set up a huge blockade on the bridge. He claims it’s for safety, and to stop those nasty Undercity folks from like, blowing anything else up or whatever, but it’s a massive show of power and it’s about to cause a huge amount of problems.

For example, let’s take a second to catch up with local lanky disaster boy Viktor–we last left him on his way to meet up with Singed to get help with the hexcore. Singed basically tells him “this is gonna suck and be really painful, but you can use Shimmer to ease the pain caused by using the hexcore to heal you yayyyy” and Viktor is like “UGHHHHHHH” but he’s also really desperate, so. On his way back to Piltover (because Singed hides out in the Undercity, of course), he gets stopped at the blockade. Jayce comes over personally to bail Viktor out, but he’s FURIOUS about it. He’s basically like “I SET UP A BLOCKADE FOR SAFETY AND THEN MY OWN PARTNER VIOLATES IT CAN YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS WILL DO TO MY IMAGE” and Viktor is like “I’m sorry what now” and Jayce goes on this whole ugly thing about how the blockade is supposed to keep Undercity freaks out because they’re dangerous and can’t be trusted and Viktor just gives him this glare and is like “I’M from the Undercity.” so Jayce has to backtrack like “oh uh everyone from the Undercity but you of course you’re different ha ha love you” like. My guy.

Viktor then does some freaky science fun with the hexcore, using the Shimmer and carving various runes onto his own skin as well as this contraption thing he has around his leg, and it turns his leg all purple-y glowy. It’s not explained explicitly, but it does kind of sound like his leg might now be made of metal of some sort, if the sound design for when he walks around is anything to go bye–oh yeah, Viktor can walk now! Kind of. There’s a gorgeous scene where Viktor runs along the bank and it’s just *chef’s kiss* but it seems like he has to keep doing the runes and Shimmer stuff with the hexcore, because the effects don’t last. Or something? It’s not blatantly explained, unless it just went right over my head, which is entirely possible. I’m sure none of this freaky science fun can go wrong in any way, ha ha. Um.

We’ll check in with him later.

Back with our Undercity + Cait crew, let’s see how the blockade ruins THEIR day–as the crew works on crossing the bridge, Vi suddenly stops, saying she can’t go with them because she can’t leave her sister behind again, she won’t do it. Ekko keeps trying to convince her that Jinx is too far gone, but Vi is determined that she can reach her. Ekko and Vi hug goodbye, wish each other luck, and then Cait and Vi have this really emotional hug and it’s very sweet and uh-OH JINX IS WATCHING THEM FROM ON TOP OF THE BRIDGE. Understandably, she’s confused and upset that Vi is now friends with an Enforcer, of all people, but she believes that Vi is saying goodbye because she wouldn’t leave Jinx again, not again.

However, the blockade kicks in. Marcus is there with the other Enforcers, ready to attack Ekko, but Caitlyn desperately tries to talk them down, saying that she has proof that Silco is behind everything, they can fix this (if you’re caught up to this point, you will note that Caitlyn saying this is actually a problem because remember–Marcus and Silco are in cahoots, and so far, Marcus has not turned on Silco…probably won’t be too excited about Caitlyn being all “I HAVE PROOF SILCO IS THE BAD GUY WE’RE LOOKING FOR” ya know). Marcus has Caitlyn and Ekko at gunpoint, and Vi, seeing this, starts to turn back because CaitLYN IS AT GUNPOINT COME ON. Also Marcus does actually shoot Ekko which is rather rude of him.

Right then, the bridge is swarmed by firelights (I didn’t mention this previously, but firelights are these cute lil green glowing bugs (essentially fireflies) that were swarming around Ekko’s hideout in the Undercity–hence why their lil gang is probably called the Firelights), or at least, what appear to be firelights. One lands on the hand of one of the Enforcers, and the wings ominously click into place right before all of the “firelights” explode. The carnage takes out basically everyone on the bridge; Marcus asks Caitlyn to tell his daughter that he…right before he dies. Caitlyn is trying to pull herself up after being caught in her second Jinx-related explosion of the series so far and Vi races to her side to help her. Just then, Jinx emerges from the smoke, looking less than thrilled about Vi running to help Caitlyn. Vi looks torn between wanting to get Caitlyn to safety and help, and wanting to try and talk her sister down. Ekko steps forward then–he survived Marcus shooting him!–tossing Caitlyn and Vi the bag with the gemstone and telling them to get out of there, facing down Jinx himself.

What follows is a FANTASTIC fight sequence between Jinx and Ekko. I’ll talk about it more in the Art section, because holy cow, but I don’t think I can fully do it justice. It’s just. Wow. At the end, Ekko has Jinx pinned, but he pauses before delivering the final blow, seeing the scared look in her eyes. She uses the moment to release another bomb, leaving their fate unknown.

Hearing the explosion, Vi sets Caitlyn down and gets ready to turn back, worried, but she’s too late–Silco emerges from the smoke and picks Jinx up, meeting Vi’s eyes across the bridge. Caitlyn then tells Vi that the gemstone isn’t in the bag anymore. It’s gone. So it was “all for nothing.”

Later, Caitlyn and Vi make it to Caitlyn’s house, where Caitlyn’s mother says that she can get the two of them an audience with the Council to explain everything (remember, Caitlyn’s mother is a member of the Council. This is, sadly, relevant later). The two have a very sweet bonding moment that is just the definition of the word “peace” and I adore it. Jayce, meanwhile, is confronted with the massacre at the bridge, and he’s uh, he’s a little thrown-off. Like, barfing-over-the-side-of-the-bridge thrown-off. Like, maybe-this-whole-blockade-thing-was-actually-a-bad-idea-and-they-should-not-have-put-me-in-charge-I-just-like-science-I-didn’t-sign-up-for-this thrown-off.

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE, Mel’s mother arrives to try and get her foot in the door for some hextech weapons, and Mel is…less than thrilled, to say the least. I mean, Mel’s mother did kind of disown her when she kept refusing to like, endorse her mother’s decisions to like, behead people. Which is fair.

MEANWHILE MEANWHILE MEANWHILE, Silco is dealing with what seems to be the Undercity version of the Council from Piltover, although they’re a lot less “round table” and a lot more “when they question Silco’s leadership he almost poisons all of them ha ha.” The Undercity Council people are not excited about Jinx’s actions of late, but anytime anyone questions Jinx, Silco shuts them down immediately. Jinx is his precious murder daughter, okay? Leave her alone.

Speaking of Jinx, she’s in terrible shape when Silco takes her from the explosion on the bridge. He takes her right to Singed, telling him that she absolutely cannot die. Singed knocks Silco out so he doesn’t disturb the evil science and then he basically just injects Jinx with a whole lot of Shimmer (it’s possible there was more to the evil science than just that, but the main point is that Jinx has Shimmer now). She goes through a horrendous transformation sequence where the Shimmer messes with her body and already incredibly fragile mental state, and she keeps seeing Vi and Caitlyn teasing her, saying she’s been replaced. She survives, and now she has cool glowing purple-pink Shimmer eyes. But now she’s extra mad at Vi and ESPECIALLY Caitlyn, and soon, she’ll be extra mad at Silco.

There’s literally so much that happens, but to kind of crash-course it before we move on:

Vi and Caitlyn meet with the Council, and they seem determined to try and eventually maybe just like talk things out with Silco? They basically want to avoid war. Vi also wants to avoid war, but she tries to explain that you cannot negotiate with Silco. She wants them to charge down there, take him out, and then once Silco is gone, surely the Undercity will go back to sort of the way it was before everything went terrible!

(It’s sweet. And sad.)

Ultimately the Council is like “yeahhhhhhhh but resources, let’s chat with him instead” and Vi storms out, feeling like they’re not taking her or the problems of the Undercity seriously (and like teeeeechnically she’s not wrong). Caitlyn chases after her, saying they’ll figure something out, begging her to stay, but Vi shuts her down, saying that both Piltover and Zaun are like oil and water–not meant to be. Caitlyn says “what about us?” and Vi repeats herself: “oil and water. Wasn’t meant to be.”

And it’s totally fine and I’m not crying about it don’t worry.

Vi seeks out Jayce, convinced maybe HE’LL do something if the rest of the Council won’t. She takes on the hextech gauntlets from Act 2, and Jayce takes the big hextech hammer also from Act 2, and they go down and just absolutely decimate one of Silco’s big Shimmer mine place things. It’s another delightfully choreographed fight scene, but it ultimately ends with Jayce accidentally hitting a child with this big laser blast, and that’s enough for him to be like “HAHA OKAY NO MORE OF THAT I’M OUT.” Vi, frustrated yet again because unfortunately dead kids are really just another day in the Undercity, refuses to give the gauntlets back and stalks away.

One of the other Undercity Council members finds Sevika, Silco’s second-in-command, strongly hinting that Silco’s time as leader of Zaun is up, and maybe she should consider helping out the next leader. By this point, Sevika is definitely frustrated with Jinx and Silco’s attachment to her, so it’s unclear how this will pan out. The Council people go to confront Silco, however, and Sevika takes them out, standing by Silco till the end. It’s a nice, layered little scene that involves the audience (and even Silco) truly not knowing if Sevika will help Silco or betray him, all while he gives a lengthy speech about loyalty.

Later, Vi finds Sevika at The Last Drop and challenges her to yet another fight (as you may recall, Sevika is someone she’s had frequent clashes with but has yet to actually win against)–it’s another brilliantly choreographed fight sequence, and there’s a sweet little moment when Vi gets knocked down where she sees Vander and talks to him before she gets back up to knock Sevika out. While she does win a fight, finally, it’s unclear if that’s even what she wants anymore.

Jayce, meanwhile, takes matters into his own hands and meets with Silco. He agrees to give Silco the independent nation of Zaun that he so craves–if Silco will hand Jinx over. That’s his deal.

Heartbroken, we catch up with Silco at this big memorial statue of Vander, which he talks to. Silco seems torn–Jayce has offered him everything he ever wanted, but it’s in exchange for Jinx, the one person it’s clear he would do absolutely anything for. Jinx overhears this, of course, and seems to think that Silco is leaning towards turning her in.

We follow Jinx as she takes Caitlyn, Silco, and eventually Vi, keeping them all together for the big finale scene, which we’ll discuss later because it deserves its own section. And I’ll start crying again as soon as I talk about it so

THE ART

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGOHMYGAWDYALL THIS SHOW IS SO PRETTY

The thought that goes into every little detail is just. I can’t talk about it enough. Every time I think I’ve exhausted every possible thing I’m reminded about something else and have to go “AND ANOTHER THING”

I mean it’s. It’s the way that each and every character has a unique nose (yep–even the WOMEN!!). It’s the weight that all the character’s bodies have, so we feel each punch or each time they collide with something (Vi’s parkour scenes come to mind in particular). It’s the subtle changes in the way the characters look at things, how you can watch their eyes moving to take in different objects or people. It’s the way the audience is so seamlessly taken from Jinx’s perspective filled with static and neon scribbles and ghosts to any other character’s, seeing her from the outside instead. It’s the colors and how they come to life in each and every setting, no matter how different they are. It’s the way Jinx’s comically long braids always move the way you’d expect real hair to. It’s the NUMBER of parallels that are present all the way through, from Jinx playing with the clockwork firelights that later blow up the bridge, to Vi and Powder mirroring Vander and Silco’s last confrontation and relationship in general, to Viktor and Jayce saving each other on opposite ends of the series with that same phrase of “am I interrupting?”

It’s the way I feel like I could watch the series multiple times and still miss a ton of details–it’s the love and care you can absolutely tell went into every blissful second of this series.

Even now as I’m listing things I’m SURE I’m missing stuff that I’ve thought of–I’ll probably come back and edit as I think of more because EVERYTHING deserves to be called out, I mean it’s just INSANE.

In particular, there are 4 standout scenes for this Act that we absolutely must discuss for art purposes.

  1. THE EKKO AND JINX FIGHT–hooooooooo boy none of us were ready for this. One of my absolute weaknesses in any sort of storytelling piece is silent storytelling, when so much is said without a single word. This fight at the end of episode 7 is ABSOLUTELY one of those. We didn’t see much interaction between Jinx and Ekko when they were kids. We knew they knew each other and probably hung out, but we had no idea to what degree (it’s hinted at in the Enemy music video, but how canon is that??). THIS FIGHT THOUGH. The transitions between the graffiti art showing two kids messing around together and the art style of the show depicting two lost kids with broken childhoods suddenly at life or death odds with each other is just…like from what I remember, there’s not any sort of exposition line that is like “oh yeah Ekko and Powder are off playing together again ha ha tryna figure out Ekko’s watch or something” but we get ALL of that from just the visuals of this fight, and it’s shown in such a heartbreaking way. I just. AHHHHHHHHHH. Okay. I’m fine. This is fine.
  2. THE BEDROOM SCENE–please send help I will never recover from Caitlyn and Vi. These two are just like, constantly in danger or getting beat up or blown up or stalked or yelled at or who KNOWS what else, so to have this sweet, simple moment where for the first time they just got to relax and just TALK to each other and just be in each other’s presence and just ahhhhhh?? It’s beautifully done and just such a nice break for these characters, I hope Jinx gets a break scene at some point too. No? Please?
  3. THE SHOWER SCENE–Another DELIGHTFUL moment of silent storytelling here. I mean, I’m sure there are so many layers to this scene, with Caitlyn brooding in her super fancy Piltover shower while she thinks about Vi walking away from her in the rain, telling her to go back to her fancy house and forget about her because they’re oil and water, not meant to be. And then when the blood from her leg wound starts mixing with the shower water?? LIKE THERE ARE SO MANY METAPHORS I’M PROBABLY NOT EVEN ABLE TO PROCESS PROPERLY BECAUSE IT JUST???? IT’S SO WELL DONE
  4. THE FINAL DINNER PARTY SCENE–See the upcoming section about this which will be filled with mostly me, sobbing.

There is probably also a lot to be said for how color is used in the show–Piltover is all golds and whites, with some rich blues and reds and the occasional purple thrown in (because they have to emphasize that “holier than thou” aesthetic ha ha love the city of progress am I right). Zaun is all dark browns and blacks with blinding neon accents in purples, pinks, blues, and the occasional green (it’s a bit of a jumbled mess and somewhat disorienting, which fits). The Firelights’ hideout, meanwhile, is all incredible earthy tones, with gorgeous greens and lighter browns, tans, and warm golds and creams. The visual vibe from each location is simply *chef’s kiss* and I am living for it every second.

THE MUSIC

IT’S. SO. GOOD.

New songs from this Act include: “Misfit Toys,” “Dynasties and Dystopia,” “Snakes,” “When Everything Went Wrong,” and “What Could Have Been,” all of which are BOPS as always (“What Could Have Been” will be discussed more when we talk about that final scene ha ha oh look I’m crying again already). From the score, my favorites from this Act are “The Price of Our Freedom,” “Everyone Else Betrays Us,” “We Call Them Firelights,” “Old Friend,” “First Steps,” and “You’re Perfect,” because it’s incredibly important to me to have at least one song from every Act pop up while I’m listening that makes me sob on cue.

It’s amazing to me how they manage to blend the orchestral score with all the other like, BOPS, so seamlessly? And have it work so well?

Also did anyone else watch The Game Awards and can we talk about how they started right off the bat with a performance of “What Could Have Been” with the RED MOON IN THE BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING HOW DARE THEY????

Ahem. Yes. We’ll get to that.

THE YIKES

Alright, alright, but before we get to all that…

Look, it’s clear that I don’t have enough good things to say about this show, and I recognize that. I’m sure I sound like a broken record at this point, but I truly do believe that we have something special on our hands with this show and I will ABSOLUTELY never shut up about it. If I had to sit through years of people screaming at me about Hamilton, y’all can put up with this, thanks.

HAVING SAID THAT–the show isn’t perfect, of course, and there’s one scene in particular from Act 3 that just…it makes me feel a lil uncomfy, and I haven’t really seen anyone else talking about it? I’m sure someone has and I just haven’t come across it yet, but nonetheless…

So one of the characters I haven’t talked about much is Sky, and it was somewhat on purpose–she’s not a League champion as far as we know, and her reactions with other characters were on a fairly minimal scale, so I just wasn’t sure how important she was in the grand scheme of things. She seemed like a perfectly delightful individual, but again, she just didn’t have as much screentime as some others so it just wasn’t clear how she measured up. Sky seems to be the lab assistant for Jayce and Viktor, and you realize fairly early on that she has feelings for Viktor. Viktor doesn’t shut her down or anything, he’s just so absorbed in figuring out the hexcore that he doesn’t even notice her attempts, but he seems fairly nice to her. Also Viktor is literally dying, so…so I mean there’s that.

One night when Viktor is hard at work sacrificing himself to the hexcore and whatnot, as you do, Sky is on her way to ask him out. When she walks in, it looks a lot like the hexcore is trying to like, suck the literal life out of Viktor (he’s not really reacting to it much, though, so it’s not entirely clear what is actually happening). Determined to rescue him, Sky runs to him and grabs him, trying to pull him away from the hexcore’s grip. However, she is unable to do so, and the hexcore like…literally incinerates her and releases Viktor, leaving him in a pile of ash that used to be Sky.

(maybe it’s like a “Little Shop of Horrors” kind of deal? Except instead of alien man-eating plants it’s magical bloodthirsty magic glowing cubes?)

Shocked and appalled, Viktor is now determined to get the hexcore destroyed. Any chance it might have of saving him from death is not worth the death of others. He takes Sky’s ashes and scatters them, and his follow-up conversation with Jayce has one of my favorite lines in the whole series:

“In our pursuit of great, we failed to do good.”

MMMM. THAT’S SOME GOOD STUFF RIGHT THERE.

But…there’s just a lot about that whole scene that is just…not great, ya know? I mean it’s frustrating any time a good side character dies too early (SEE MYLO AND CLAGGOR MY BELOVEDS), but so much about Sky’s death feels extra icky. For starters, it hits a little too close to the “fridged woman” trope, where a female character is killed off just to further the character development of the male counterpart (remember–Viktor only comes to his conclusion about the dangers of the hexcore AFTER it incinerates Sky, not after it like, literally uses his blood to grow more powerful). That trope is bad enough, but to make it worse, Sky is one of the few female POCs of the series, and she died so that signature lanky WHITE MAN Viktor can have more of a backstory.

Now, absolutely, the tragedy of her death fits in well with the series as a whole–I’m just not sure why it had to be HER, ya know? If she was always going to be a side character whose only purpose was to die so Viktor could feel guilty, why did they design her to be a woman of color? Why couldn’t they have had some white guy lab assistant or something? (we can’t have him also be in love with Viktor because he still would have to die presumably, which brings us to BURY YOUR GAYS HAHAHAHA NOPE)

In a show filled with wonderfully layered characters and stunning storytelling decisions, I don’t understand why this scene was carried out as such.

I mean, maybe she’s not actually dead or something. That would be fun! But as it stands, there’s a lot about this scene that just doesn’t sit well with me, and it’s unfortunate, because so many other things are carried out so well, and then…there’s this. And I just don’t understand why it was written and executed this way.

Sky deserved better. And so do we.

THE CHARACTERS

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but by and large one of the things I think the series does really well is present us with incredibly layered, complex characters–what affects them and their choices are their circumstances and in turn, how they react to them. No one is simply evil or good just for the sake of it–there’s more to every single one of them.

With Jinx for example–it would have been so easy to write off her violence by simply saying “yeah–she’s crazy!” and leave it at that, but they don’t. They don’t excuse her actions by any means, but they present us with a character who feels like a real person. It almost never seems like Jinx enjoys the chaos and violence she creates, because we have scenes like her visiting the old hideout from when she was a kid and desperately trying to beat Vi’s high score on the boxing machine and still not being able to. We have scenes like the one when she reunites with Vi and is scared to tell her what she’s become, all the things she’s done. More than anything, we get the impression that she’s good at what she does because she had to be. She constantly feels like she has to prove herself to everyone, because if she doesn’t get it right, she’ll be left behind again. Again, it’s never presented as an excuse for her, simply a fact.

Silco is a fascinating character, creating a perfect foil to Jinx with his calm, collected demeanor and his low-voiced threats. The Silco we see in Act 1 is presented as power-hungry, obsessive, and driven by vengeance, and yet his choice to take in Jinx and raise her after seeing a bit of himself in her changes him. He’s not a great person, obviously, but to see the love and care he has for Jinx is just super intriguing. It’s a fascinating contrast to even Viktor’s arc involving Sky–Silco is presented as a typical villain, and yet when given the chance to change the world he owns and get everything he’s ever fought for, he turns it down, all for the love of one person. Viktor, meanwhile, was so focused on the hexcore and changing his world that he didn’t realize how important the love of one person could be until it was too late for her.

(am I reading too much into this ABSOLUTELY YES next question)

Mel has been such a fascinating character the whole series, but to see a glimpse of her past and see her go head-to-head with her mother was just *chef’s kiss*. Also that moment?? Where her mom sees the last painting she did???? JUST SLATHERED IN GOLD PAINT????? I don’t know WHAT it means but I LIKE IT

THE TRAGEDY

I’m using the above picture of Ekko and Heimerdinger on purpose I swear

So often when people recommend things to me and I shy away, I get hit with the ol’ “oh it’s just because you don’t like SAD STORIES”

(ask anyone who tried to get me to watch “La La Land”)

And like–they’re right! A lot of times I DON’T like sad stories! The world is sad enough right now and I think we all could use a lot more happiness and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that!

But the caveat is also this–I don’t like poorly written sad stories. And I completely blame my obsession with Shakespeare for this. One of the things I love about Shakespearean tragedies is that they are incredibly well-written (this is a hill I will die on) AND they are really never presented without hope. What makes a Shakespeare tragedy a tragedy is because of how incredibly human it all is. Characters are layered and complex, they make decisions in ways that completely make sense with their personalities and identities (even if they’re horrible, horrible decisions), they are often victims of circumstance more than anything else, and it’s never 100% all bad all the time–there is pretty much always a glimmer of hope.

“Arcane” is incredibly Shakespearean in this way. The true villain of the story isn’t Silco, or Jinx, or Mel’s mom, or Sevika, or any one person–it’s society. It’s wealth. It’s class warfare. It’s the building tension between a rich, well-off “city of progress” and their drug-and-crime-addled Undercity whom they largely ignore. If one thing had gone differently in Vi and Powder’s story, and they never got separated and Powder never became Jinx, it would have been another kid. All of this would have blown up in everyone’s faces eventually.

The initial separation of Vi and Powder as kids, presented as Vi turning away from her sister in a moment of grief and then being unable to get back to her because Silco shows up right then and Marcus knocks her out right then absolutely reeks of the finale in “Romeo and Juliet,” doesn’t it? The unfortunate timing of it all?

Jinx being so haunted by the ghosts of her dead friends to the point where she ultimately destroys the one thing that mattered most to her is so incredibly “Hamlet” it hurts.

There is so much of each character’s story that seems hopeless by the end–Vi and Jinx are still separated, unable to come to terms with a broken childhood and how they have both changed as individuals without the other one being present. Caitlyn may have lost her whole family at the end, and her entire worldview has been shattered by the realities of the Undercity. Jayce and Viktor set out to change the world and help people in need, and instead they got caught up in glory, power, and an incurable illness and selfishness rather than selflessness. Mel is now seemingly at odds with both her own mother and her love interest, unable to protect the city she swore to save. Heimerdinger has been cast out of the city he created. Ekko has lost more friends than he can count. Singed has been cast aside for his obsession with his experiments. Sevika has lost almost life and definitely limb in the fight for a unified Undercity. Silco has presumably died. Vander has presumably died. Sky…Mylo…Claggor…

and yet

One of my most favorite and most unexpected scenes from Act 3 comes in the midst of all the other chaos and tragedy and craziness–Heimerdinger runs into an injured Ekko, and two incredibly brilliant minds connect. Heimerdinger has been so focused on how far Piltover has come as the City of Progress, it seems he too has been disconnected from what Zaun was going through in the meantime. He’s so convinced that true peace can only come with caution, and only after years and years of safety checks and living precariously, it shocks him when Ekko takes him to the Firelights’ hideout and shows him this beautiful thing he built in such a short time. I’m so excited to see where this partnership goes in the future, because it’s such an unlikely combination and yet, it makes perfect sense. Heimerdinger has seen so many friends and students come and go, all with grand ideas and plans, but none of them have accomplished what Ekko has with the Firelights, and I think he says it best when he tells Heimerdinger that you can’t just give people what they need to survive, you have to give them what they need to live.

In the midst of the broken-down, chaos-ridden, and violence-driven environment of Zaun, the Firelights have a safe haven, in the form of a beautiful tree. There’s so much metaphor there about resiliency, new beginnings, nature, I just…AAAAHHHHHH IT’S GREAT.

And it’s so important. There’s a reason why Pandora found hope at the bottom of the box, and why the best tragedies capitalize on it in some way–it’s our greatest superpower, I think. The ability to be kind even in the face of horrible things, to do good even at the cost to oneself, to keep going for the sake of someone else when you can’t do it for yourself anymore, it’s all because of hope, and hope is always there. That’s what makes these stories relatable, and what makes them and their themes last for centuries, told in all forms from a story around a campfire to a speech on a stage to a mission in a video game; it’s the hope.

Alright that’s enough profound speeches from me, time for some sobbing as we discuss…

THE FINAL SCENE

I am already crying

The finale of Act 3 (and of season 1 aaaaaaahhhh) is…a lot. I mean it’s the sequence that made me just sit in utter shock after watching it the first time for a good three straight minutes at least. I wasn’t even actively crying I was just sitting, staring at the credits with my mouth open while tears rolled down my face.

It was fine

ANYWAY

The final moments bring together a majority of our main players from the series as a whole–at the dinner scene, we have Jinx, Vi, Silco, and Caitlyn, and then on the opposite end at the Council meeting we have Jayce, Viktor, and Mel (plus the other Council members, like Caitlyn’s mother, and that one member with the cool clockwork collar).

(Sevika is notably absent, likely recovering from Vi’s bashing in the previous scene, and Ekko and Heimerdinger are busy being science buddies together and it’s so wholesome and pure and good and I’D RATHER FOCUS ON THAT BUT OKAY HERE WE GO)

So on the Piltover side of things, Jayce is addressing the Council about the deal he made with Silco for the independent nation of Zaun. They are all less than thrilled about this and to some degree I don’t blame them because literally all Jayce has done since getting added to the Council is act alone without discussing anything with any of them?? Which like, has its pros and cons because the Council is a hot mess, but that’s a discussion for another day. What I do like about this moment is that Jayce is present with Viktor, and including him, which is a nice change. Mel also ends up agreeing with Jayce, hoping that this is the best step forward for peace between the two cities before it all dissolves into war.

Meanwhile, Jinx has forcibly gathered all her favorite people back in the cannery from way back in Act 1, which was where Silco had initially set up shop, and therefore is where Jinx accidentally blew up her friends and family ha ha oops.

Jinx initially starts out just talking to Vi, and their back-and-forth here is fascinating. As Jinx slowly unveils more of the scene and more of the players involved, it becomes clear that what she’s trying to do is figure out who she is based on the people in her life (or, as it turns out, not in her life…ha ha…..*sobs*). She has created an elaborate dinner scene that absolutely brings to mind the Mad Hatter’s tea party–on one end of the long table she has Vi chained to a chair, and on the other end: Silco. Partway through she brings out a cupcake with the magical gemstone stuck on top in the frosting, and then she wheels in a chained-up Caitlyn as well.

(This is, of course, after the famous “I paid a visit to your girlfriend this morning” line which, if you’re wondering, I have also still not recovered from, either)

With all the key players in place, (this includes the replicas of Claggor and Mylo that she made, which Vi is seeing for the very first time which ha ha that’s super fun right) Jinx almost lets them have it out amongst themselves for who they want her to be. She has one chair on one end of the table with the name “Powder” written on it, and on the other end, a chair with the name “Jinx” splashed across it. She makes it very clear that it’s up to them, but especially Vi, who will leave the table after everything is said and done–Jinx, (Team Silco) or Powder (Team Vi).

Although it’s worth noting as I think back on this now that one of the fascinating elements of this scene is a massive miscommunication on everyone’s parts. Jinx is assuming that Vi wants her to go back in time to be Powder while Silco wants her to embrace her new way of life and move forward with Jinx while ignoring her past and where she came from. She’s operating from the standpoint of “they both want me to be different people from who I am currently, and I don’t know how to choose for myself.”

What Jinx misses, however, is that I think ultimately both Vi and Silco want her to just be herself–with some caveats. Vi doesn’t want her to go back to being the Powder she remembers, because it’s clear that she has grown and changed and Vi doesn’t know who her sister is anymore but she wants to know. Vi wants her to remember the good parts of her past and how those shaped her as an individual because she believes that can be more powerful than the pain and the suffering. Silco, on the other hand, wants her to embrace that pain and that suffering because it is a part of her and, in his mind, a necessary part of her. He purposefully makes all these comparisons between Jinx and himself because he sees a lot of his own pain reflected in her, and he knows that he has set his whole life around how his pain changed him.

Caitlyn is…honestly just stuck there because she had the audacity to get involved with Vi, and it’s just a poor timing thing.

But truly everyone is there just with completely different ideas of what is happening and goals and they’re all doing a terrible job at communicating what they want exactly and honestly it’s due in no small part to the fact that Jinx has everyone chained up and also she’s waving a big gun around like, yeah, that’ll certainly not help things, and it’s all just…it’s tragic.

And it gets worse.

In a moment of rage, Jinx breaks one of the glasses on the table, which Caitlyn is able to snag and use to free herself from her chair. Caitlyn has Jinx in her sights, she’s threatening to shoot, Jinx is giving her these sad puppy eyes, Vi is begging her not to shoot because that’s her sister, and ultimately Caitlyn’s hesitation costs her and Jinx is able to knock her out cold and take the gun from her. So now Jinx has a bigger gun, Silco has the smaller gun, Vi has her usual like, big muscle arms as her guns but that’s about it, and in the ensuing chaos and arguing and trying to pull her one way or the other, Jinx shoots–

and hits Silco.

Realizing what she’s done, she rushes over to him, apologizing, crying, begging, and Silco, very calmly, reassures her that he would never have given her over to them. Never.

She kneels before him, tears falling, and with his last breath, tells her “don’t cry. You’re perfect.”

It’s shocking. I mean, I didn’t necessarily expect Silco to make it through, but…I mean maybe I did? But more than anything, what that final moment with him does is solidify both what a fascinating character he was, and also how wrong Jinx was about him.

She always gets left behind. Her defining moment that sets the tone for the rest of the story is when Vi leaves her, just for a moment, except then it becomes forever. It is so embedded in her that people she loves will leave her, so when she overhears Silco talking about the deal that was offered to him, she just assumes that he will hand her over because how could she be worth more than the dream he has fought for for years and years and sacrificed so much for?

Except she was worth more to him. She was worth everything to him. He literally picked her up in the ruins of the cannery that day back in Act 1 and said “yep, I am a father now.”

All Jinx wants is for someone to love, accept, and see her for exactly who she is–not who she was, or who she will be. She wanted it to be Vi. And yet, it was Silco.

Except now he’s gone.

Steeling her resolve, she stands up and stalks over to the “Jinx” chair, which she collapses in.

Then she takes the gemstone, leaving Vi behind, and she stalks up to a sort of scaffolding where she can see the Council room in Piltover. She sticks the gemstone in the gun (it’s Fishbones, one of her weapons she uses in League and yes it’s a shark and yes it’s GLORIOUS), takes aim, narrows her eyes, and fires.

We then get this horrendous slow-motion montage of the missile Jinx fires, which is heading right for the Council, whom you may remember just finished agreeing to broker peace between the two cities.

Awkward.

Right before it goes through the window, we see a glint on Mel’s…armor? Outfit? The fancy lil gold things she wears, and she turns–we see Caitlyn and Vi stumbling out of the cannery together, seeing the missile, seeing where it’s headed…Vi is watching on in shock, Caitlyn is screaming (her mom is on the council remember so that’s cool that’s fun)

The screen cuts to black, and that’s the end.

WE ALL HAVING FUN YET HA HA HA THIS IS SUCH A FUN SHOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND FAMILY AND ALSO CLASSISM AND OPPRESSION AND TRAUMA AND I AM NOT OKAY

This whole end moment with the missile is set to “What Could Have Been” sung by Sting and flourished with beautiful violin by Ray Chen and it’s juST. IT’S. FINE.

THIS IS FINE. I AM FINE.

Everything about the final scene is such a punch to the gut–like it’s not even a cliffhanger, it literally brings you to the edge of the cliff and then just sucker punches you right off of it and just when you manage to grab a branch to hold on to it comes up to you and says “no, I think not” and then breaks the branch you’re holding so that you’re falling again. We’re all gonna be in just massive freefall for the next probably couple years until Season 2, everybody hold hands, we’re going down together.

I could honestly just write an entire post about that final scene alone and dissect every little detail, because you just know an insane amount of thought went into it–partly because the team knows what’s coming next and we all have NO IDEA, THANKS FAM. Thanks for that. Love it.

Send help.

THE SECOND SEASON

So yes, we are getting season 2, it’s just likely we’re gonna have to wait quite a while. I mean, they said it took like…what, 6 years to make season 1? Yeah. Love that.

(but no actually I do because that means that season 1 gets to be as good as it is because so much time was taken for it–does it physically pain me to wait for season 2 because I will be stuck falling off that cliff until then yes it’s FINE)

All we know is from a short little announcement clip where we hear short lines from Vi, Caitlyn, and Jinx telling us…virtually nothing, honestly. Vi and Caitlyn imply they’re going after Jinx, someone’s probably gonna die, Vi insists it has to be just her so no one else gets hurt, Jinx says something like “I knew it was going to be you. It had to be you.” So…I mean I’m assuming that’s about Vi?

Or maybe that’s referring to Vander finally coming back. Who knows!

Anyway–will I post eventual updates once we have even the slightest CRUMB of knowledge??? Yes.

NO REALLY PLEASE WATCH THIS FOR YOURSELF

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–seriously for reals, give this show a try. I mean, absolutely the tragedy of it all is a punch to the gut but like…it’s a good punch, ya know? It makes me sad but at the same time I’m like “honestly this is like…a masterpiece?”

Like in a time where we’re “looking forward to” the, what, 200th Marvel film or the next unnecessary sequel to a beloved movie that absolutely should just be left the fuck alone or the live-action origin story to, what, Ursula’s evil eels from The Little Mermaid?–it’s so genuinely nice to consume a piece of media that is just good. I realize there are money-making ties to it because it’s a LoL property but like, that’s precisely one of the reasons I feel good recommending it. Like, y’all, things that are created because they tie to a franchise that makes a lot of money can actually be GOOD. LIKE. GENUINELY.

They have set the bar SO high and I love them for it.

So, yeah, give it a shot. It’s a gorgeous show with beautifully written characters and an incredibly compelling story in a stunning setting.

Also I need more people to cry about it with.

All in all, I give Act 3 of Season 1 of “Arcane”…

5/5 EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED AND STILL CRYING ABOUT IT RED MOONS!!

(Before we go, please enjoy this picture from the bedroom scene between Caitlyn and Vi:

PRECIOUS!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!)

Arcane Act 2 REVIEW

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

And we are BACK, folks!

As much as I have mixed feelings about the whole “wait a week to release more episodes” format (because I want it all nowwwwwwww), it was super fun walking into work on Saturday knowing that once I survived, I would have more Arcane to watch!

(is that sad? Maybe. Let me have this)

I will preface this post by saying I THOROUGHLY enjoyed Act 2–I think it did a great job of fleshing out the more overlooked key characters from Act 1 (CAITLYN MY BELOVED) while also still focusing on the ones already fleshed out nicely in Act 1. Plus we still had stellar animation and STELLAR music.

Were there questionable moments?

Yes.

Do I tentatively hope those moments were included for an actual reason and not just…to make us all feel uncomfortable?

Also yes.

(Seriously…did anyone ask for that sex scene? Anyone at all? Yeah. That’s what I thought. More on that later, though.)

Without any further ado, let us dive in!

(Also, spoiler warning now in effect!!)

THE STORY

We begin somewhat innocently with a conversation between Jayce and Heimerdinger. It starts out as a subtle way to show the audience that some undisclosed amount of time has passed–enough so that Jayce has like, forgotten how to shave? And also so that Jayce is now viewed as Piltover’s golden boy after successfully incorporating Hextech into a brand new feature for the city: the Hexgates. Heimerdinger tells a layered story to Jayce about a scientist of the past who was like, terrible at everything, but realized his students could change the world for the better. It’s a harmless enough conversation unless you’re watching it again after finishing the Act in which case o h n o

It’s apparently Progress Day for Piltover, (as well as a Bicentennial!) a day where the city celebrates its founding on the principles of science and progress in order to make the world a better place. This involves celebrations, visiting dignitaries, and a big speech where someone (usually Heimerdinger, as the city’s founder) talks about plans for the future and happiness and so on and so forth. This year however, Heimerdinger explains that the Council would like Jayce to give the speech instead, and Heimerdinger agrees with them–after all, even though Jayce explicitly went against Heimerdinger’s wishes years ago to work with Hextech, it is now undoubtedly helping the city prosper, so…yay!

We then catch up with Jayce’s buddy Caitlyn, who has joined the Enforcers against her family’s wishes (because she is a lady of good upbringing after all, why would she want to dirty her dainty hands being an Enforcer, smh). The audience learns that Caitlyn joined because she wants to make a difference, to serve the people of the city and protect them, but because of her family’s influence, she gets stuck with jobs like “standing outside her mother’s tent” and “the graveyard shift of walking around but out of any actual danger.” She’s frustrated, but congratulates Jayce on being asked to give the speech this year (after she makes fun of him for it a lil bit.)

We then finally catch up with Jayce’s lab partner and resident lanky disaster man, Viktor, who has…looked better, to put it lightly. Viktor and Jayce want to present what they are calling “the next chapter of Hextech,” a stabilized version of the tech that can put it into the hands of the common folk to help them and make their lives easier (this scene includes notable nods to both Vi’s eventual signature weapon as well as Viktor’s). Heimerdinger is suitably impressed, but he also tells them that they need to take more time perfecting it and guaranteeing its safety. This frustrates both men, Viktor in particular–this is their Hextech DREAM, after all! Later, when Jayce brings up Heimerdinger’s decision to Mel, she encourages him to throw aside his professor’s advice and instead give the people what they want. So who will Jayce listen to?

MEANWHILE, there seems to be a new gang causing trouble for both the citizens of Piltover AND the citizens (or rather, mostly just the criminals) of Zaun–the Firelights. These funky guys fly around on hoverboards of some sort, sporting angular full-face masks and wreaking havoc, though their end-goal is unclear. They interrupt a smuggling operation aboard an airship, and just when it seems like they’ve foiled the plans of the Zaun crew who are smuggling in Shimmer (remember that ominous purple liquid from Act 1 that turned people all beasty? It’s a drug problem now, and they’ve called it the very ominous sounding…Shimmer), our favorite blue-haired gal makes a comeback and destroys…basically everything.

Sporting twin braids and an arsenal of gadgets and weapons, Powder is back, but she goes by Jinx now. In the ensuing fight between her and the Firelights, she accidentally knocks the mask off one of them, revealing a girl with pink hair. It’s not Vi, but Jinx thinks it is for a moment, and it throws her off. Fractured by the memories that come flooding back to her, she opens fire on the entire ship, shooting some of her own Zaun-mates in the chaos.

Later, Caitlyn sneaks aboard the wreck of the airship to investigate on her own, sneaking some pictures of the damage and trying to recreate what happened for herself. Alas, she’s not supposed to be there (because, you know, she’s supposed to be “standing outside her mother’s tent and this blown up airship is definitely not a tent Caitlyn c’mon”), and the new sheriff of the Enforcers, Marcus (whom you may remember from Act 1 as Grayson’s hotheaded second-in-command, and also the Enforcer who knocked Vi out at the end before she could get back to Powder), tells her this isn’t her place and now she’s gonna take the graveyard shift and she’s gonna ENJOY IT.

Jayce’s big speech goes well, and he chooses in the moment to follow Heimerdinger’s advice, not yet revealing the new Hextech stuff to the general public. This disappoints Mel and frustrates Viktor, but don’t worry, soon he’ll be impressing Mel and…still…frustrating and upsetting Viktor….

wait that’s not what we wanted–

That night, one of the tents mysteriously gets set on fire. Caitlyn and the Enforcers go to investigate, hearing a little girl’s voice drawing them inside. Caitlyn recognizes some of the same imagery from the airship wreck, and yells for her fellow Enforcers to get out, but it comes too late–it turns out the little girl luring them inside is actually Jinx, causing chaos yet again. She blasts the tent and steals Jayce’s stabilized Hextech crystal thing he decided against showing to the public. Six Enforcers are killed, Caitlyn survives but with some injuries, and she uh…she also gets fired. Literally. Ba dum tssss

Back in Zaun, we learn that Jinx is a bit of a, uh, loose cannon, shall we say–Silco, who now runs the Undercity now that Vander is “gone,” vouches for her when everyone tells him she can’t be controlled, and it’s clear the two have an interesting if extremely not healthy father-daughter relationship. Because she wasn’t actually supposed to blow up an entire airship when the Firelights showed up, Silco tells her to sit out for a while and focus on her gadgets. Determined to prove herself, she blows up the tent and steals the Hextech crystal, which she presents as a Progress Day gift to Silco. (It’s around this time that we also learn that Silco and Marcus are working together, and it’s heavily implied that it’s due to Silco that Marcus is now the Sheriff–it’s an interesting juxtaposition to the previous relationship Vander and Grayson shared).

In order to patch up the problem of an entire Hextech crystal being stolen, Mel proposes that Jayce be made a new Council member in order to more effectively oversee Hextech safety. This is met with some skepticism, but it does work. Jayce attempts to enlist Caitlyn into his personal Council security (since she got fired and all), but she’s not content with a new desk job and is determined to get to the bottom of both the airship blast and the Progress Day attack. Her search leads her to a very gnarly prison, where we finally, FINALLY, see Vi again, having been likely locked up since she was first taken back at the end of Act 1 (it’s hinted that Silco told Marcus to kill her so that there wasn’t a danger of her coming back to steal Powder/Jinx from him, but Marcus wasn’t able to do so, and instead kept her locked up). Caitlyn and Vi team up, but what will Jinx do when she learns that her sister is back in town?

What will Silco do?

THE ART

This section is purely in here so I can reiterate that THE ART IS STILL INCREDIBLE AHHHHHH but also so I can give proper credit to Fortiche, the studio behind the animation and also one of the producers for the show. It’s great, it’s lovely, it makes me feel things. Thanks guys!

The glimpses of sketchy overlays from Act 1 (and seen more in the “Enemy” music video) are more prominent in this Act, which makes sense as they directly tie into being a visual representation of Jinx’s mental state. The quick cuts and overlays do a great job of helping us see into Jinx’s head a little bit, and specifically how it can really start messing with her even in/especially in the heat of battle. That first moment when she unmasks the Firelight and thinks it’s Vi? Iconic. Depressing. Beautiful.

There’s also even more of a pointed visual difference between Piltover and Zaun this Act, which again, makes sense story-wise. The elegant, muted colors of Piltover during Progress Day are a stark contrast to the almost blinding colors and sharp angles of Zaun now that Silco is directly in charge and distributing Shimmer freely. Zaun’s initial introduction in Act 1 with Bea Miller’s “Playground” playing over it wasn’t necessarily inviting, but it felt downright homey in comparison to the Undercity we’re introduced to in Act 2, and rightly so. Especially that scene showing off the transition of The Last Drop from a comforting sort of tavern into a drug-addled nightclub–it feels like a slap in the face, and it brings the audience right into how Vi must have felt once she’s finally able to return.

Visually, there’s one scene in particular we have to discuss, unfortunately, but it really deserves its own section…

THAT ONE SCENE

Have a sweet picture of baby Viktor because I refuse to include a picture of the actual scene in question.

So…if any of you have watched Downton Abbey, there’s a scene in Season 4 where our dearly beloved Anna is assaulted during a concert at the house. It’s a visceral scene and one that stays with you, for better or worse. I bring it up because the editing for the scene was an interesting choice–cuts of Anna were spliced with the peaceful music from upstairs in a jarring, almost whiplash-esque effect. It was an intriguing if divisive way to show this juxtaposition of two completely different events occurring at the exact same moment in time.

Episode 5 of Act 2 brings us a scene similar in that fashion–and visually it’s striking, which is why I feel like I have to bring it up. It’s also…very uncomfortable, and I have to hope that it was presented in such a way on purpose for whatever Act 3 has in store for us.

To set the scene–

As previously mentioned, Viktor doesn’t look so well from the very start of the Act. He seems to be limping more, he has permanent bags under his eyes, and he just generally looks more shaggy than he did previously, especially in comparison to Jayce. There’s a moment when Jayce is overlooking Hexgate transportation and shipping logs when Viktor coughs, leaving some blood on the railing (classic movie/TV trope of YOU BE DYING). He has similar coughing fits throughout the Act, but insists on waving off anyone who shows concern. Feeling snubbed by Jayce’s refusal to show off the next chapter of Hextech and by the fact that Jayce is spending more and more time in politics rather than in the science that initially inspired and bonded the two of them, Viktor locks himself away in the lab, night after night, determined to come up with something impressive. Specifically, he wants to crack what it is exactly that bonds mages to the Arcane so they can use it naturally and without danger (mages being folks who are born with the natural ability for magic, all of whom are banned from Piltover because they a city of SCIENCE and also because Heimerdinger had seen some nasty stuff from them and just wants peace, this poor tired immortal fuzzball). He works on it night after night, but can’t crack the code.

At the same time, Jayce is focusing more and more on politics and schmoozing with the Council members. Specifically, Mel. After all, she’s the one who allowed them to start Hextech work in the first place, and she’s the one who pushed to make Jayce a full new member of the Council. After Jayce decides to really step up Hexgate security in the wake of the smuggling disaster and his crystal being stolen, Mel brings to light the fact that now the entire Council is mad at him because he unintentionally ruined all of their black market deals. Ah, politics. In order to continue his push for safety while also keeping the Council on his side, he follows Mel’s footsteps and makes deals with the Council members so they can keep drinking illegal alcohol or whatever. The scary thing is that he’s good at it, too, and really impresses Mel.

The main point is that in Act 1, Jayce and Viktor became a team, they became partners. Viktor literally saved Jayce’s life when he was at his lowest point, and believed in him and his work when no one else did. Viktor risked everything to help Jayce with his research that first night, and in return, Jayce was determined to share the credit for the project (it was “OUR HEXTECH DREAM” aaaaaahhhhhhh). Act 2 shows how much that has changed. They still work and create together, but Jayce is receiving all the credit. He’s the face of the city, the only face of the city. Now it is implied that Jayce isn’t necessarily doing this on purpose, at least not currently. Before his big speech, he does say that Viktor should be up there with him, and Viktor says no, “not in front of all these people.”

(There’s a lot to unpack there when it comes to why he says no here–does he really mean yes, he wants to take the credit he is due, but he’s just as socially awkward as the rest of us and he’s hoping Jayce will understand what he actually wants and he doesn’t because bless Jayce he’s just so, so dumb? Possibly. I think it probably has more to do with Viktor’s past–he grew up a cripple from the Undercity, after all. As we see in his flashback, he’s used to being alone, possibly because he was bullied for his condition. How can he hope to stand beside Jayce, the golden boy, a perfect physical specimen of the city of progress, and claim any sort of right to those scientific breakthroughs? It’s mostly speculation at this point, so we’ll have to wait and see if Act 3 brings us the uh, robot Viktor we all know from LoL and the feud he has with Jayce.)

Though their friendship is still present, it’s clear that there are cracks starting to show, and it’s this state of things that brings us to…

that scene.

So basically, Viktor is working alone in the lab, again, desperately trying to get this new Hextech thing to work the way he wants it to. Jayce isn’t there, who knows how long it’s been since he’s been there, because he was busy schmoozing and impressing the Council members, but particularly, Mel. At the same time that Viktor has another coughing fit, his vision blurring, his blood splattering the console in front of him, Mel turns and kisses Jayce. We then experience this absolute insane sequence that, I kid you not, goes back and forth between a Jayce and Mel sex scene and Viktor LITERALLY DYING. The hextech thing Viktor has been working on reacts with his blood–that’s the key Viktor had been missing this whole time (which makes sense when you think about it–he’d been trying to figure out why mages, those born with the ability to bond with and control the arcane, are able to do just that, and it could be because they have a personal connection to it–it’s literally in their blood). He almost misses it, however, collapsing to the floor, and the crystal’s melding with his blood and changing is spliced with moments of Jayce and Mel…getting it on.

While it’s absolutely one of the most stunning visuals of the show, it also comes across as just…insanely uncomfortable. Mel and Jayce have a weird relationship already, but it never felt like it was leading towards any sort of “romance” prior to this point (and honestly, it still doesn’t feel like that). It’s also unclear if Mel actually has any sort of feelings for Jayce, or if she’s focusing on manipulating him for her own gains. I like Mel as a character–she’s incredibly clever, and we have seen her manipulate others to get her way in previous episodes (she manipulates a council vote this way in Act 1). It more seems like she likes having the golden boy under her thumb–when she’s frustrated that he left her after their “night together,” it’s unclear if it’s because she’s upset that they slept together but he left without a goodbye or a “hey call ya tomorrow,” or because she’s starting to learn that maybe she doesn’t totally control him as much as she would like. It’s an interesting dynamic, but again, it makes the whole scene with them reeeeaaaaally uncomfortable. And it’s unclear at this point if the scene is SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable, or if we’re supposed to be like “awwww yay romance” because it SURE doesn’t feel like it.

As many fans in the tumblr tag will tell you, Jayce and Viktor had WAYYYYYY more chemistry together than Jayce and Mel, and also a way more developed relationship?

(So do Vi and Caitlyn…we will absolutely get to that, don’t worry)

Now, in the story’s defense, there really wasn’t any point where it was confirmed that Jayce and Viktor even thought about being more than ~lab partners~ ya know? I mean, is it frustrating because we’re all just overly starved for queer content? Yes. Is it also frustrating because, as previously stated, Mel and Jayce have almost zero development and this whole thing came out of NOWHERE? Also yes.

On the flip side, I’m cautiously optimistic simply because the storytelling up to this point has been grand, and everything has felt in place the way it is for a reason. It is a WEIRD choice to juxtapose Viktor’s almost-death with Jayce and Mel’s sex scene, and weird enough that I’m, again, cautiously optimistic that there has to be a reason for it. I dunno what it is yet, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Anyway. Weird scene. Bleh. Moving on.

THE MUSIC

IT IS SO GOOD, ONCE AGAIN.

New bops incorporated through the episodes with the score include “Dirty Little Animals” and “Guns for Hire,” both of which are excellent in like, completely different ways.

As for the score, my new favorites include “A Bicentennial,” “She’s Here,” “Too Risky,” and “Showdown,” but ohhhhhhh bOI THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD.

Also??? Ray Chen???? Violinist extraordinaire????? Incredible. Amazing. 400/10.

THE AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Okay. Alright. Okay.

So I was vaguely aware going into this show that Caitlyn x Vi was a popular ship, but also like, there’s a zillion characters in LoL and therefore a zillion ships and again, the present lore is kind of a hot mess so confirmations on any sort of…anything are rare, really.

I would also like to state that TECHNICALLY. TECHNICALLY. AS OF NOW. THEY’RE STILL NOT. NECESSARILY. CANON.

HOWEVER.

OhhhhhhhhhhhmyWORD. I also agree with everyone saying there is no heterosexual explanation for this??? Like Vi does this to Cait in the brothel scene??? She says “you’re hot, cupcake”????? She asks “man or woman” and Cait just panics and then Vi sees her flirting with a woman no problem????? “Stop calling me that.” “But you’re so sweet…like a cupcake…”?????? Not to mention the apothecary scene where Caitlyn trades her rifle for a potion to save Vi’s life and she barely knows her I’m????? And then when Vi comes back to consciousness and she’s holding her face that way I’m?????????

Now is it very possible that we will still get no confirmation by the end of Act 3 YES. But again–I am, perhaps against my better judgment, cautiously optimistic? There’s too much there, right? SURELY THERE’S TOO MUCH THERE.

Not to mention when Jayce comes to see Caitlyn earlier on and gives her a bouquet of flowers and she LITERALLY TOSSES THEM ASIDE???????

Again, I am fully prepared to be let down. However I am also. Cautiously optimistic.

Caitlyn was also the first character I really loved in LoL so she holds a dear place in my heart and I wiLL LOSE MY MIND IF WE GET CANON QUEER CAITLYN. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

THE CHARACTERS

JINX–I really enjoy how they’re handling her so far. Though years have passed since Act 1, she’s still very much a scared child, and circumstances being what they are, she’s fallen into very much the wrong crowd. Silco was her lifeline at the end of Act 1, and he still is here. Interestingly, he genuinely seems to care about her, perhaps because he sees much of himself in her, and she would do anything for him and his approval. Combine that with the clear moments where she is tinkering and inventing and creating, we have a very smart girl who was handed a really bad hand. Also, her recreations of Mylo and Claggor in her room (lair?) are just heartbreaking, thanks.

VI–It absolutely destroys me that Vi has likely been in prison since the end of Act 1. Seeing her come back to Zaun was heartbreaking–she still fits in, but so much of it has changed with Vander’s absence. Her teamup with Caitlyn is, of course, delightful, but her determination for her sister is what brought us all here, of course (at least initially. The tumblr tag may have you thinking otherwise). She has quips for days and muscles that are just yeah. Yep. She’s extremely likable, even when she’s making brash decisions, which is good.

CAITLYN–We saw so much more of my love this Act which was delightful!! One review I saw talked about how Caitlyn’s arc is so interesting specifically because she genuinely wants to do good and help people, but at this stage, she’s still so naive about everything. It never occurs to her that the Enforcers running the prison would be taking prisoners and beating them up for fun, because aren’t they the good guys? She genuinely didn’t know what life in Zaun was like. Her whole world is turned upside down in this Act, and her determination to actually be the good guy is what drives her forward. And probably her determination to stay with Vi and honestly, same.

JAYCE–Ohhhhhh my poor man is so, so dumb. I guess Jayce in LoL lore is supposed to be like, a total asshole, so everyone was all “aw he’s nice in this!” but we’re starting to see where that potential for asshole-ism can come from. He started out as a total science bro, but as we saw in this Act, he likes attention. He likes the power. He’s still not totally overrun by it yet, but that scene where he schmoozes with the other Council members about their illegal dealings was like, gross. He was too good at it. I don’t like it. But what’s fascinating is that as disgusting as some of his decisions were in this Act, it’s all written in such a way that it all makes sense with the way his character is right now. He made the choices he did because why wouldn’t he?

VIKTOR–OHHHHH MY POOR MAN. HE NEEDS A HUG. OR SOMETHING. I said most of my Viktor thoughts in the section about, uh, that scene, so there’s not much to revisit. The big news is that Viktor is officially dying (though we all kind of knew that) and his new discovery with Hextech, which he’s calling the Hexcore, could potentially save him. Curious to see when he transforms into Viktor Robot, as he is in LoL.

I don’t have a lot of specific things to say about Silco, Heimerdinger, or Mel, as I’ve said some things already. I will say for Heimerdinger that I think he’s really interestingly written–he’s frustrating because it seems like, as the founder of the City of Progress, he’s weirdly intent on stifling the progress that Viktor and Jayce want to make, but we know he has reasons. The Rune Wars have only been alluded to so far, but they are the reason Heimerdinger is skeptical of magic and intent on safety when it comes to science. Again, it does make him frustrating sometimes, HOWEVER…he deserved better than that ending thank you.

HEADING INTO ACT 3…

Awww man it all comes to a head on November 20, so what do we have to look forward to?

Furious that she’d been lied to about her sister’s life and whereabouts, Jinx leaves Silco and lights a flare in an attempt to encourage Vi to find her. Vi, meanwhile, has been hunted down by Silco, who is determined to get rid of her so he can keep his relationship with Jinx intact. Caitlyn and Vi manage to escape, much to Silco’s frustration, and on their way out, Vi catches sight of the flare Jinx lit up.

Meanwhile, Jayce, potentially drunk on power and I guess, Mel, is determined to make real change in the city, but Heimerdinger thinks they need to change their focus back to what made Piltover so successful to begin with–good ol’ fashioned SCIENCE. It should also be noted that Jayce is a little miffed at Heimerdinger for wanting to get rid of the Hexcore, despite its potential to be able to save Viktor’s life (maybe). Again, in Heimerdinger’s defense, he can tell the thing is downright dangerous, and let’s be real, nothing good in these stories has ever come from something that needs blood to work properly. With all of this urging him on, Jayce puts forth a vote to forcibly remove Heimerdinger from his head seat on the Council, stating that perhaps it’s time for a well-deserved retirement. At this point, Jayce essentially has the entire Council in his pocket thanks to his earlier schmoozing and sex…ing, so the vote is unanimous, and Heimerdinger is ousted. His lil face is VERY SAD ABOUT THIS AND IT MAKES ME VERY SAD ALSO.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Viktor is off to seek the help of an old ally of his from when he was a kid, someone who knows a thing or two about mutations and magic and weird stuff like that–essentially, someone who can help with his Hexcore problem. Basically as it is now, it has the power to react with living things and make them flourish, but then they die almost instantly. So that’s not ideal. So yeah, our buddy Singed is back! You may remember him briefly from the initial lab experiments with Shimmer before Jinx accidentally blew everything up, and he met Viktor when Viktor was a kid and they formed sort of a temporary friendship over a giant axolotl dragon, as you do.

Back with our main girls, just as the flare burns out, Vi does manage to reach Jinx. Right then, however, they are attacked by the Firelights. The battle starts out well enough with Jinx and Vi actually working together, but Jinx’s cracked psyche comes into play and she almost hits Vi with one of her shots. We get this really heartbreaking moment where Vi realizes that her sister didn’t just become this way because she did what she had to to survive, like she’d originally thought–some part of her actually enjoys this, so much that she can’t always control it. What’s interesting though is that even when Jinx hallucinates in the heat of battle, her body still reacts before she does, often saving her from being hit.

At the end of it all, the Firelights knock Vi out and take her away, leaving Jinx alone. Again.

SO THERE’S A LOT TO DEAL WITH.

We also still have some questions not dealt with from Act 1–for example, where was Ekko this Act? The popular theory is that he’s actually the leader of the Firelights, which would explain their inclusion to begin with, but we don’t know for sure yet. We also saw no further hint of Vander being confirmed as Warwick, and again, I’m assuming Robot Viktor has to come into play at some point.

I’ll need to watch it again, because I also can’t recall where Caitlyn or the Hextech crystal that Jinx stole ended up at the very end–did the Firelights take Caitlyn too, or just Vi? I know Jinx doesn’t have the crystal anymore and Caitlyn was trying to get it, but I think it might be with the Firelights also. Unclear, must watch again. Oh noooooooo.

There’s also a little speculation that the violinist from the concert scene where Jayce schmoozes might be JHIN which would be amazing, I love that crazy man, one of my favorite characters to play in LoL.

HAVE YOU WATCHED THIS FOR YOURSELF YET AND WHY NOT

Seriously, if you haven’t hopped aboard the Arcane train yet, I still highly recommend it. Act 2, at least in my opinion, absolutely lived up to the impressive standard Act 1 set, and expanded the world and the characters introduced to us. Plus if you get into it now, you can enjoy the countdown to the Final Act! Yayyyyy!

All in all, I give Arcane Act 2….

5/5 CUPCAKES!!

Do you…do you get it…it’s because…….because Vi calls Caitlyn cupcake…………..andthatwillbetheendofmebye

Arcane Act 1 REVIEW

HOOOOOOOOOO BOY LADS IT’S HEREEEEEEEEE

I’m qualifying this as video game-adjacent enough that it belongs on this blog so here we gooooooo!

Lemme preface this review by stating that I am approaching the series as an EXTREMELY casual League of Legends fan–I play exclusively on bots because real people are terrifying and it’s absolutely true that League has earned its reputation for, um, less than savory 5v5 human interactions, unfortunately. That being said, the world of League has fascinated me for years, and I have a grand time trying out different characters and play styles while also avoiding the repercussions of playing against other real humans.

I’m also a huge fan of the storytelling Riot occasionally throws into its events–yes, at the end of the day, League is an MMO with a minor focus on story and the like, HOWEVER…they pretty much always have some sort of event running to tease us with storytelling potential. Is it primarily to sell skins and other merchandise? Yes. Do I buy into it often? Also yes.

While Riot has certainly played around with the idea of story before, they’ve almost never (to my knowledge) really threaded it into the game itself. Yes, each champion has extensive lore, but you have to seek it out for yourself if you’re curious, and it’s not essential to the gameplay. Is it more fun with the lore?? I mean I think so, but Riot is also aware of their audience–mostly people who don’t like reading, I assume. Some events in the past have offered some alternate universes with story for the champions, i.e., Star Guardians, Odyssey, Spirit Blossom, and K/DA (I’m sure there have been others, but as a suuuuuuper casual player, these have been some of my personal favorites). While many of these events have come with their own stories and often really impressive animated clips to help hype everyone up (or music that is a real bop and has no reason to go as hard as it does???), they still haven’t shoved lore down anyone’s throats necessarily.

THAT ALL CHANGED THIS WEEKEND WITH THE RELEASE OF ARCANE, BABYYYYYYYY.

Set to release in 3 acts over the next couple weeks, Arcane delves into the lore of some specific regions involving some of League’s well-known champions, telling their story in a beautifully animated and also incredibly heart-crushing tale. Again, I’m approaching the series as someone who has delved (shockingly) very little into League lore itself (unless it involves Xayah, the actual love of my life…also possibly Ahri, unironically), so I’m going in mostly blind.

Did I have an absolutely fantastic AND terrible time as Arcane managed to fill my heart with happiness and then promptly rip it out of my chest and crush it in front of me? HEEEECCCCKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHH BOIS.

Do you need to know anything at all about League of Legends before going into this show? Amazingly…NOPE! It’s miraculously built this story that both (from what I’ve read so far) satisfies long-time fans and complete newbies alike. It’s exactly what I’ve been craving from Riot for a loooooong time, and so far? I ain’t disappointed in the slightest.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

(light spoiler warning now if you’d rather go into the show totally and completely blind)

THE STORY

Arcane starts on an absolutely decimated bridge, full of bodies and fire and all manner of cheerful things. It is here we meet our (arguably) primary trio of ultimate Dad Vander, protective and too grown up already Vi, and too precious for all of this crap going on around her Powder. Through a rather haunting and mostly silent opening scene, we gather that in the carnage, Vi and Powder’s parents were killed. They both fall into the arms of Vander, who makes a point of removing these massive metal gauntlets he was wearing to fight in order to carry them both.

We cut forward a few years, and we learn that Vi and Powder now run with a lil gang of sorts with their buddies Claggor and Mylo (oh look I’m already crying ha ha we’ll talk about that later)–mostly it seems like they go on jobs to steal fancy rich things from the fancy rich city of Piltover so they can survive in the Undercity. On this particular job, however, they end up raiding some sort of science-y place, though they can’t figure out what anything inside actually does. Powder wanders into a side room and comes across these eerie blue crystals. In the panic of almost getting caught when someone tries to open the door on them, one of the crystals drops from Powder’s grasp and uh, blows up…the building…

This is fine.

The four kids race through Piltover to escape the Enforcers and the consequences of, you know, blowing up a building, but they manage to slide down a sewer to safety. For now. On their way back through the Undercity, they are challenged by a ragtag group of thugs for their treasures. Vi tosses the bag of loot to Powder while she, Claggor, and Mylo attempt to fight their way out. Powder is seen by one of the thugs, however, and runs off, hoping to keep the loot safe. Cornered, she attempts to create some sort of mechanical bomb to throw the thug off and get away safely, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work, and in order to save herself, she tosses the bag of treasures into the water, where it’s (presumably) lost forever. Claggor and Mylo (mostly Mylo) are furious with Powder for losing everything, but Vi tells them off, comforting Powder as best she can.

(Anyone coming into this with previous LoL knowledge will note that Mylo calls Powder a “jinx,” because everything goes wrong whenever she tags along, like she jinxes the jobs….for any newbies out there, just note that that’s an important moment for the future.)

While Vi and Powder reconcile, letting the audience in on the fact that Vi is best at fighting with her fists while Powder seems to be more gadget-oriented (despite the fact that none of her inventions have actually worked….yet…..oh look I’m crying again ha ha), Vander meets up with one of his pals Benzo at his shop. It’s here we’re introduced to Ekko, another well-known champion from League, so therefore, someone to keep an eye on. Vander and Benzo’s chat is interrupted by some Enforcers from Topside–it’s hinted at that Vander actually works with the Enforcers to some degree, and has been for some time. Though the peace between the Topside of Piltover and the Undercity is strenuous at best, it is present, and it’s implied that that’s due in no small part to Vander and his “partnership” with the leader of the Enforcers. Grayson, the Enforcer…captain? tells Vander that she needs to bring someone to justice for the um, blown-up building that um, got blown up. She hints that if Vander just gives her a name, any name, things don’t have to get any uglier–the Council just needs someone to blame. Vander, of course, knows that those to blame are his adopted problematic children, and he won’t give them up. Grayson warns that if he doesn’t, the Enforcers will keep coming down to the Undercity until they have someone they can blame. Because of this, Vander tells Vi and the kids that they need to lie low for a while until this can all be sorted out.

Meanwhile, on the Topside, we catch up with the person whose scientific lab thing got blown up–a young idealist and magic enthusiast, Jayce. Even though Jayce didn’t blow up the lab himself, it was still his lab and his research, and the Council doesn’t yet have anyone from the Undercity they can blame, so Jayce is brought in for a trial to determine his fate. It comes to light that Jayce is fascinated by magic, specifically because it saved him and his mother when he was younger (they were rescued by a mysterious mage whom I believe most have theorized to be another LoL champion, Ryze, although I’m not sure if that’s been officially confirmed or not yet). Piltover, however, is strictly anti-mage and anti-the-arcane (ROLL CREDITS) because of all the damage magic can do. Jayce has seen the good it can do, however, so he’s intent on combining magic and technology to be used for good, and he tells the Council as such–annnnnd it almost ruins his trial. Ultimately, Jayce is expelled from the Academy and sent to live with his parents, rather than being banished from Piltover for good. His mother is thrilled about this, of course, but Jayce doesn’t understand how she can be so okay with this whole anti-magic sentiment when it literally saved her life. He almost gives up entirely, but not before his professor Heimerdinger’s assistant, Viktor, comes to talk to him. Viktor wants to team up with Jayce because he believes this magic-technology thing could definitely work, and he wants to help. Together, they agree to break into the Academy and Heimerdinger’s office in particular in order to nab Jayce’s equipment and create what Jayce is calling “Hextech” (and if you’re even a casual LoL fan like me, you probably said “hextech” right along with him).

MEANWHILE meanwhile, in an abandoned building in the Undercity, some freaky creepy dude with a nasty scar on one side of his face and one eerie glowing eye, Silco, is working on some sort of purple serum that turns humans and animals into raging beast forms of themselves with incredible strength and, likely, bloodlust. Working together with Singed, Silco gives this purple serum to Deckard, one of the thugs who attacked Vi and the gang earlier on in order to take their loot. But what exactly is Silco’s endgoal with this serum, and how will Vi and Powder be tied into it all?

SPOILER WARNING NOW IN EFFECT!! LIKE FOR REAL THIS TIME!! If you wanna go in mostly blind, I highly recommend doing so!

As someone who, as we all know if you’ve spent any amount of time on this blog, is REALLY SUPER INTO STORY, so far this show is doing a FANTASTIC job. Act 1 essentially serves as the prologue, and it’s PHENOMENAL. It’s dark, it’s intriguing, it’s incredibly heartfelt, it does a beautiful job of rounding out its key characters and their motivations, and it pulls you in and keeps you there. Was I in pain basically the entirety of the third episode as I watched all the unfortunate events unfold? Absolutely. Did it only hit as hard as it did because the show did a brilliant job of preparing me and making me relate to and love the characters it gave me beforehand? Definitely. Did it build an intriguing world with intriguing issues that were relatively easy to follow and feel for? For sure. The unfairness of Benzo’s and Grayson’s deaths at the hand of a ruthless monster just because they were in the way? Smacks you in the face. The suddenness of Claggor’s and Mylo’s deaths just when things started going somewhat their way? Hits you upside the head. The heartwrenching mini arc of Vander giving himself the purple serum just so he can save Vi one last time rather than pursuing revenge against Silco, and then asking Vi to take care of Powder? Vi learning that Powder was the cause of the explosion that ultimately cost Claggor and Mylo their lives (and, presumably, Vander as well) despite the fact that Vi asked her to stay home and stay safe? Calling her a jinx, blaming her for everything? Running from her? Trying to get back to her but being pulled away by the Enforcer? Silco realizing he can use Powder’s pain to his advantage in his war?

I’m crying again.

I’ll be curious to see where they go from here and if the other Acts are able to pack quite the punch this first one did–Act 1 really plays like a perfect tragedy, misunderstandings and all, and I’m interested to see if they format the remaining two acts in the same way.

Also, will it make me cry more? Probably.

THE ART

Alright so first off–visually, this show is STUNNING. The best description I’ve seen so far is from people calling it “concept art come to life” and it really feels like that! The animation is smooth and wonderful, and the choppy looks of the characters really fits into the world they inhabit, both Piltover and Zaun alike. And the fight choreography?? THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY????

Even the slow-motion moments don’t feel out of place, giving the viewer time to really focus on and think about the horrors both they and the other characters are witnessing, whether it be Powder watching her friends getting beat up while she sits on the sidelines, or Vi watching Vander fall to the serum-ed beast Deckard. The color schemes for both Zaun and Piltover are different enough to separate the two environments clearly, but similar enough that it’s clear they’re still somewhat unified.

THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!!!!!!

There are also glimpses in Act 1 of these sketchy, messy overlay animations that flash in and out–if you’ve seen any of the other marketing for Arcane, including the “Enemy” music video and the Worlds 2021 Opening Show, you may recognize this. It seems that those flashes directly tie into Powder’s mental state, but we probably won’t see more of it until she’s fully transitioned into the Jinx we all know and love and are also kind of terrified of from LoL. It’s a jarring effect, but somehow it doesn’t feel out of place in Arcane’s world, which is nice.

Caitlyn, my beloved

THE MUSIC

OHHHHHHH BOY Y’ALL, THE MUSIC.

If there’s another thing I’m continually pulled in by about Riot, it’s the music. Whether it’s K-Pop bangers like K/DA or sweeping orchestral songs like their champion themes, the music is just *chef’s kiss* and I’m thrilled to report that Arcane is no exception. Just like the episodes, songs and music from the show will be released each week following each Act.

The score, composed by Alexander Temple and Alex Seaver of Mako (according to the opening credits) is DELICIOUS. It’s eerie and unsettling when it needs to be, it’s powerful and endearing at other times, I love it. And yes, I’ve had it on repeat since I started writing this review, what of it.

So far, my favorite tracks are “The Bridge,” “Just A Taste,” and “You’re a Jinx” because I really like crying.

For the other songs, so far we have the opening theme “Enemy” as well as “Playground,” “Our Love,” and “Goodbye.” All of which are complete BOPS albeit it very different ways. I am thrilled for the rest of the soundtrack–so far at least, the songs have folded really well into each episode, and I’m excited for more.

THE CHARACTERS

Like I’ve mentioned above, so far I think Arcane does a brilliant job of introducing characters and their world and having the viewer really feel for them (or hate them, depending). From Vi’s ragtag group of misfits to Jayce and Viktor to Vander and Silco and whatever was going on there, I really felt like I understood them all to some degree.

We also know already based off of trailers that we will follow (the surviving) characters into the future some years, which also creates potential for even more LoL champions to make an appearance–as of now, we have Vi, Jinx, Jayce, Viktor, Singed, Ekko, Caitlyn, Heimerdinger, and Ryze (have we determined that that was definitely Ryze? Probably? Most likely? Okay). Because the show also gives us some key characters who seem to have no tie to current League lore, it leaves us with some fun speculation about who they could become…

The two most popular theories I’ve seen so far relate to Silco and Vander–while most seem to be concluding that Vander will eventually become Warwick (for any LoL newbies out there, Warwick is not a champion I play personally, but he’s essentially a werewolf experiment man gone horribly wrong, and his lore hints at previously being a man who just wanted to settle down and do some good in the world after a troubled past, and also apparently he remembers a little girl…could be Vi or Powder?), I haven’t seen a lot about who Silco could become, aside from, perhaps, a brand new champion introduced in League at a later date.

Could be fun! Could also be extremely satisfying to go head-to-head with him in game as Vi.

While the speculation about champions in the series and who else could be introduced is a fun game, it’s also worth noting that you don’t need to know ANY of that to enjoy Arcane–the series so far is doing a great job as a standalone piece, with plenty of easter eggs for LoL fans, but mostly it’s just an enjoyable piece of media all on its own.

HEADING INTO ACT 2…

So what happened at the end that needs to be addressed and dealt with in Act 2 on November 13?

EVERYTHING IS A MESS THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED

Okay really though–

After Silco and his mad scientist group of friends kidnapped Vander, Vi, Claggor, and Mylo race off to save him.Vi tells Powder to sit this one out, because she cannot lose anyone else. Powder reluctantly agrees, but she’s clearly not happy about it–after all, wasn’t Vi the one who said she was ready?

We learn that Vander and Silco were involved in the original uprising of the Undercity against Piltover, and that Vander decided to focus on keeping the peace and Silco hates him for it, convinced that fighting is the only true way to victory. He locks Vander to a chair, but before he can perform any sort of experiments, Vi and the gang show up to the rescue.

While Claggor works on an escape route and Mylo focuses on freeing Vander from the chair, Vi challenges all of Silco’s goons, actually doing a decent job. She equips Vander’s gauntlets–a nod to the giant hextech gauntlet fists she wears in game and will eventually have on the show (I’m assuming)–and though she manages to fight off most of them, it’s almost lights out when Silco sends a serum-ed up Deckard after her.

Meanwhile, Powder decides to try her hand at gadgets one more time, employing the explosive crystals she stole in the beginning, determined to save her sister and her friends. Once she sees Deckard overpowering Vi, she knows she has to help, and sends in one of her homemade gadgets, crystal attached.

Meanwhile, one of the Council members, Mel, assisted Jayce and Viktor in getting inside Heimerdinger’s office to work on Jayce’s experiments. They manage to crack the hextech code just in time for Heimerdinger to witness it, claiming that this is dangerous and isn’t Piltover’s future, just as Mel walks in and says “well, actually…”

Back with the rest of the crew, in a really unfortunate sequence of just…all-around bad timing, it looks like Vi, Vander, Claggor, and Mylo actually would have been able to escape just in time, but right then, Powder’s crystal bomb goes off. One of her gadgets finally works, but uh…not…not in a good way.

The multiple explosions brought about by the crystal send the abandoned building reeling, setting everything ablaze–Silco shoves a wounded Vander off the edge, where he lands on a pile of vials of the purple serum. The ceiling collapses on Claggor and Mylo, trapping Vi as well. Seeing Silco closing in on Vi, Vander takes the serum himself, morphing into a beastly version of himself in order to save her. As the last of the building catches on fire, Vander and Vi manage to escape, but it seems that the fall from that height was too much even for Vander’s beastly form, and he seems to die right in front of Vi.

(It should also be noted that Singed was shown for a brief moment in the chaos, but his fate remains unknown)

Vi, reeling from losing all her friends and her father figure all at once, is interrupted by Powder–having been blasted from the building herself after the first explosion, she has seen none of the consequences of her actions thus far. She’s thrilled that one of her inventions finally, finally worked!

Confused, grieving, and frustrated, Vi takes it out on Powder, once she realizes what her sister has done. Despite Powder’s pleas, Vi walks away from her, collapsing around a corner in tears. Powder falls to the ground, screaming and crying. Vi notices that Silco has spotted Powder, but before she can go back to her, she’s knocked out by an Enforcer and taken away.

Silco, realizing he can use Powder’s pain to his advantage, promises to be there for her.

So, basically, everything is awful, and we now have the setup for why it seems Powder(Jinx) and Vi are fighting each other in the opening sequence. So where will Act 2 take us?

SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS FOR YOURSELF?

YES. I mean, if you’re a League fan, definitely. If you’re into gnarly animated series with excellent characters and worldbuilding, yes. I don’t know that I’d say this is for everyone, but I definitely think it’s worth a shot if you’re at all curious about it. Again, you don’t need to know anything about League prior to going into it, which I think is such a great selling point for it.

Time will tell if the other Acts are as strong as this first one was, but man, what a way to begin your story.

Tune in next week for “will I cry about Act 2 HAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION”

In the meantime, I highly recommend you chug on over to Netflix and check out Act 1 of Arcane.

All in all, I give Arcane Act 1 a rating of….

5/5 UNFORTUNATELY EXPLOSIVE CRYSTALS!!

MINIVIEWS TAKE TWO

I think somewhere along the line I swore to myself that I’d never let it get to the point where I do a bunch of miniviews again but…here we are.

Same rules as last time: I will discuss my main thoughts on the film, choose a standout element, say whether or not I think you should see it, and rate it. And then I’ll make some cute promise about not doing this again. 🌝

(This time I blame real life and also the release of Luigi’s Mansion 3. HAVE Y’ALL PLAYED THAT YET IT’S SO GOOOOOOOOD)

Lessgoooooooooo:

MINIVIEW 1: DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD

MY THOUGHTS:

I can honestly say that I never thought in the year of our lord 2019 I would be writing about a movie that is a live-action adaptation of Dora: The Explorer and be saying that it’s…really, really good.

I mean like even the trailers had me like “wow that looks…decent??” And uh…it was???

But more than that, the movie is, as I like to say, a damn good time. If you grew up with the TV show like I did, it’s such a funky little love letter to everything we loved and hated about the show. My poor parents knew like nothing about it and I may or may not have made them a presentation on Dora basics so they knew what they were signing up for by going with me to see this.

It’s genuinely so much fun–it has great characters, a pLot TWisT, a lovely story, JUNGLE PUZZLES!!!, and even a really cool moral. It knew exactly how ridiculous it was and just ROLLED WITH IT.

I mean y’all someone literally made a movie of that College Humor skit from YEARS AGO…AND IT WAS GREAT.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Y’ALL DORA LITERALLY USED A YO-YO AS A WEAPON I–

I started learning yo-yo tricks this year (or as we in the in-crowd say, I started “throwing” this year) and I keep trying to tell people that a yo-yo could be a seriously good weapon, I mean do you know how many times I’ve whacked myself this thing is a hazard??

AND SHE LITERALLY USED IT AS A WEAPON I CANNOT–

Also I loved whenever Dora spoke to the camera or whenever she talked to people like “Hi! I’m Dora!” Like she’s a ray of sunshine and I love her.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

PLEASE DO. It’s just so much fun. Also–a Latinx-led cast!

Also stay tuned for my essay on how Dora and Alita went through very similar character arcs in their respective films but Dora’s actually worked and developed her character more and she’s literally DORA THE EXPLORER–

Haha just kidding.

…unless? 🌝

All in all, I give Dora and the Lost City of Gold…

5/5 DEADLY WEAPON YO-YOS!!

MINIVIEW 2: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

MY THOUGHTS:

Lemme preface this by saying that Bend It Like Beckham is one of my favorite movies of all time, and the same people worked on this movie, so I was already really excited about it.

And like, I was not disappointed at all.

This movie is a delight from start to finish. The characters are lovable and well-rounded and the story is just so fun and heartwarming. There’s a little bit of drama, a little bit of romance, a lotta friendship, a lotta Bruce Springsteen music, and a whole lot of family love. There’s kinda something for everyone in this movie.

(I mean hey, if you’re a blood-and-gore action fan, there’s even a protest that interferes with a wedding party and someone gets injured and you see the blood, so–yay there you go I guess!)

My biggest complaint is the girlfriend character. Don’t get me wrong, she’s super cute and a delight, but at least in my view, her whole character was just: Girlfriend. That’s it. What music does she like? We don’t know. Her family? We don’t know. Favorite color?? WE DON’T KNOW.

Granted, she’s not the main focus at all, but they spent a whole lot of time developing our leading man, his ex-best friend and his new best friend, so like…if they all get development…….can my girl get some development too……..

I mean it’s like you could switch out her and Alita and neither of their movies would change very much….I’m just sayin…….🌚

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

By far the incorporation of Springsteen’s music. Just like you saw in the trailer, they had the lyrics appear onscreen in real time and it was such a fun little thing to do–I mean don’t we all feel a little like that when listening to music??

No???? Just me???????? Cool.

Also that whole scene where they takeover the radio booth at school and then dance around the streets and go crazy? So fun to watch.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Generally? Yes. And I’m speaking as someone who knew absolutely none of the songs used in the film. So if you’re worried about that, please know that you’ll still really enjoy it.

But I also know that this is my type of movie…it’s a character drama about relationships and the power they can have in our lives (also, music) and I ABSOLUTELY eat that shit up. If it’s not your kind of thing, you probably won’t like this movie.

But if you’re home one night and just want a feel-good drama with some great tunes, I definitely recommend you check this movie out.

All in all, I give Blinded by the Light…

4/5 CASSETTE TAPES!!!

MINIVIEW 3: DOWNTON ABBEY

MY THOUGHTS:

*sniff* SO THE ROYAL SERVANTS ARE MEAN AND ANNA AND BATES WORK TOGETHER AND THEY’RE HAPPY FOR ONCE *sob* AND CARSON COMES BACK BECAUSE MARY NEEDS HIM *deep inhale* AND THOMAS OH GOD MY SWEET BABY THOMAS IS HAPPY *long sniff* AND THE SCENE WITH MARY AND MAGGIE SMITH AT THE BALL OH GOD–*all-out-crying*

Uh so yeah it was okay.

I think what I really, really loved about this was that it never tried to be anything more but an elongated episode of the tv show. Like it didn’t try to be anything that would draw in a different audience because it trusted that all of us would be absolute SUCKERS and come back for these dorks AND IT WAS RIIIIIIIIIIGHT WE ALL FELL FOR IT DAMMIT.

I’m not mad about it though tbh like it was fantastic. I didn’t even get fully caught up on the show and I STILL loved it. I feel like every character had a good arc and had their moment to shine, and it was all interwoven in a really lovely way.

I’m bitter that everyone was so quick to accuse Branson about being a political problem again but that’s because he’s my favorite (also can we all collectively mourn the fact that Branson and Mary never got together I just–) but anyway, I digress.

It was so heartwarming and fulfilling and such a lovely, sweet farewell to these amazing characters that captivated me for years and years. I will miss them all so much but I adore where their story ended.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

THOMAS’S ENTIRE STORYLINE I’M GONNA CRYYYYYYYY

Thomas has always been such a fascinating character and now he got a really good, happy plot and I’m so happy for him?? It was heartbreaking watching him try to “fix” himself near the end of the show and now he’s out here kissing cute boys in the kitchen??? What an icon. I love him.

Also again, Maggie Smith’s final scene at the ball with Mary was absolutely heartbreaking in the best way possible. It was so sweet watching those two connect in such a vulnerable way I’m GONNA CRY AGAIN.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Please do absolutely if you are a Downton fan. Please please please. If you aren’t a Downton fan, first of all what are you doing with your life, secondly yeah, okay, maybe this movie isn’t for you.

It’s still good though.

Better female character development than some other movies I could and will mention ruthlessly *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

All in all, I give Downton Abbey…..

4.5/5 CRYING BOWTIES!!!!!

MINIVIEW 4: THE GOLDFINCH

MY THOUGHTS:

So like, I know this book was a really big thing for a while but uh, I never read it. I don’t know why, I think I was just solely in my YA dystopian fiction phase when it came out and I was just like…meh.

(Tbh I’m still in that phase but it’s more out of spite now because I will defend YA dystopian fiction till my last breath thanks)

So I guess the main thing I’ll say is that wow seeing the movie made me really, really want to read the book.

Overall, the movie is beautifully shot and acted, and wow Ansel Elgort does an amazing, amazing job. I love him in basically anything but that’s beside the point.

Actually like all the acting? Really wonderful.

It’s an interesting, really gritty tale, and I was a little surprised by how much I did like it. But like…I dunno if I would watch it again? At least not until I read the book. Because like, the movie was good. But it just makes me wonder if the book is fantastic.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Oh the cinnamontography for sure. That entire scene where our main boy wakes up in the gallery after the bomb is stunning and super eerie and beautifully done.

Also–it’s super gay, y’all. I genuinely don’t care what they’ve said in interviews, it’s gay. That kiss was not platonic. That forehead touch was not platonic. THEY ARE NOT PLATONIC. If you watched that and said “wow, that’s just like me and my friends!” BOY DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

Also Nicole Kidman is the light of my life, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

I mean…maybe?? Again, I really really liked it, I just think the book might be better and maybe we should all go read that instead I’m just saying…….

But, if you were on the fence about it or think you do want to see it, I absolutely think you should because it is really good. Also like, I cannot get over how much I thought they were going to end on a really depressing note and I was about to be SO MAD and then WOW that sudden plot-twist turn-around in the last 10 minutes or so was iconic. So that’s another thing: if you’re worried about a depressing ending, it isn’t.

Also I mean if for some reason you’re like “wow my only two options for movies tonight are The Goldfinch and Alita: Battle Angel…” watch The Goldfinch.

All in all, I give The Goldfinch…

3.5/5 PUDGY LITTLE GOLDFINCHES!!!

MINIVIEW 5: THE ADDAMS FAMILY (2019)

MY THOUGHTS:

If you saw the trailers for this and you, like me, were like “oh boy I hope that’s actually good!” DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU BECAUSE YES. YES IT IS.

It is absolutely a fun family flick about the best family in the world, and I want to watch it again purely to be able to catch all the dorky little details they threw in because there are so many. You can tell they had so much fun making this and I’m glad, because I had a lot of fun watching it. The animation is a delight, the voice-acting is incredible, THE REMIX OF THE THEME SONG IS ACTUALLY REALLY CUTE, and the message about family and accepting who you really are and how being different is a good thing is super sweet.

So many of the characters had a really fascinating arc and it was fun to watch how those arcs were mirrored in some of the new original characters. Also YOU GET TO SEE MORTICIA AND GOMEZ’S WEDDING AND IT’S RIDICULOUS AND AMAZINGGGG

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

So fun fact: apparently all the character designs for this movie were based on the ORIGINAL designs from the ORIGINAL COMIC STRIP. YEAH. I didn’t even know that there was a comic strip before there was a TV show?? But there is! And the movie designs really look like the comic designs just walked off the page, it’s kind of really impressive.

Also Snoop Dogg voices Cousin Itt I–

ALSO the end credits are shot like the TV opening and the ENTIRE AUDIENCE DID THE SNAPS WHEN IT HAPPENED.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Honestly, yeah. I mean if you’re already kind of an Addams fan, I recommend going to see it. It’s super heartfelt and very sweet and fun.

If you just like quirky movies, yes.

If you want a whole lotta bloodshed I mean…uhhhh I’m sure there’s blood somewhere I forgot, I mean, it’s the Addams family.

All in all, I give The Addams Family…

4.5/5 BOMBS!!!

(I was gonna do swords because that’s a big thing but I realized that bombs works much better in honor of Puggsley and his whole character arc about being true to himself. It makes sense, I swear.)

TRAILERS WE HAVEN’T DISCUSSED YET: (I THINK…SOMETIMES I DON’T TOTALLY REMEMBER TBH OH WELL)

Crash course trailers HERE WE GOOOOO

Arctic Dogs is….a movie. That’s uh…really all I can say about this one.

Charlie’s Angels looks super good and I really hope it is good and I cannot WAIT to see itttttt

Last Christmas is a movie I have seen already and BOY are we gonna talk about that one. After I stop crying.

Brittany Runs a Marathon looks like it could be really decent. Or really preachy. Or both.

Ford v Ferrari looks like a real Oscar-bait of a movie but maybe it’s actually good. I dunno. I have such mixed feelings about racing because like I mean eh, also it’s really dangerous, but on the other hand….FAST CARS COOL.

Harriet looks beyond absolutely incredible.

Dark Waters looks so, so good and amazing. Mark Ruffalo is already the love of my life and this story looks incredible. I’m real excited.

Western Stars looks really sweet and uh…yeah.

Just Mercy looks…wow. I have a feeling it does not end happily at all but it looks incredible.

Doctor Sleep…okay look. I love Ewan MacGregor. I would do almost anything for him. EXCEPT see a Stephen King horror movie I will not do that for him I’m sorry Ewan.

Jojo Rabbit looks FANTASTIC and I’m SO EXCITED to see it I am adding Taika Waititi to the list of movie makers who own my soul thanks.

And that does it for the Miniviews!! I really enjoyed this batch of films. This will be in stark contrast to my next planned review because…well I saw Joker. And uh…yeah we’ll get to that.

The Lion King (2019) REVIEW

Alright it is time for Disney live-action remake numberrrr…a lot.

A couple weeks ago (Actually by now it was a lot of weeks ago, like, months ago…THANKS, REAL LIFE), I took myself to the movies and saw The Lion King!

Listen–I have a plethora of feelings about all these remakes, okay? On the one hand, there is a whole assortment of movies that I think would make great live-action remakes, and then there are the most profitable ones. For example–live-action remake of Atlantis: The Lost Empire? Iconic. Amazing. Please stop ignoring my baby Atlantis. Instead, we’re getting a lot of princess movies because everyone loves princesses (KIDA IS ALSO A PRINCESS YOU IMBECILES I’m fine) and now we’re getting Big Cats.

I feel like no one really knew how to handle this when it was announced. I mean, on the one hand…why? This is unnecessary? On the other hand…

But we’ll get into details later. For now, let’s start with the basics:

THE PLOT

For any Lion King or Shakespeare newbies, let’s discuss.

We start with all the animals in Pride Lands going to Pride Rock to see the…crowning? Christening? Announcing? Of the new baby lion king, Simba. Simba is tiny and adorable and pure. I sure hope nothing happens to destroy that innocence of his!

We are introduced to a whole slough of key characters: Zazu, the king’s assistant or something (played blessedly by John Oliver); Mufasa, the lion king himself; Sarabi, the lion queen (if you ignore actual lion biology and behaviors); Scar, Mufasa’s brother and perpetually bitter about not being lion king; Rafiki, spiritual monkey dude who doesn’t say much; Nala, apparently Simba’s intended and a general sweetheart; and of course, Simba, the little lion prince himself.

Scar, having no soul I guess, is determined to get rid of Simba and Mufasa so he can be king (if you know the plot of Hamlet, you know where this is going), so he hatches a plan to lure Simba to the dreaded Elephant Graveyard so that he can become hyena chow. Simba and Nala take the bait because…well, plot, and they sing a song in order to get rid of Zazu and head to the Elephant Graveyard.

Once there, they do indeed almost become hyena chow, but Mufasa himself shows up (alerted by Zazu) and he saves the two little punks. Mufasa and Simba have a Conversation about responsibility or whatever, and then they talk about the kings of the past living on in the stars (this will be important later).

It is revealed that Scar is in league with the hyenas (and everyone pretended to be shocked) and he promises them actual status in the Pride Lands once he gets rid of Mufasa and Simba and becomes king. The hyenas are skeptical until Scar sings a really, really watered-down version of the classic villain song “Be Prepared,” and Scar hatches a new plan.

He leaves Simba down in a ravine to practice his roar, telling him this is what all future kings do. He then has the hyenas initiate a stampede. Scar runs to retrieve Mufasa, who of course leaps down into the stampede to save his son. Mufasa manages to get Simba to a safe location on the side of the steep cliffs, but struggles to climb back up on his own (why did he not also just wait it out like Simba instead of trying to get back to the top? BECAUSE PLOT). Simba doesn’t see this, but when Mufasa reaches the top, Scar actually shoves him back down into the stampede.

Everyone’s favorite heartbreaking moment happens as Simba finds his dad’s body and asks him to please wake up. Scar confronts Simba and tells him to run far away and never return (since he totally killed the king and all). Simba totally believes him because PLOT and runs away. Scar takes over the Pride Lands. The hyenas overhunt. Simba is found by Timon and Pumbaa and raised without a care in the world far away from the troubles of the Pride Lands and his past.

Until one sunny day when Nala comes stumbling into the oasis and tells Simba he has to go back to confront his uncle and take his rightful place as king. But Simba can’t go back and face everything that happened…can he?

THE REVIEW

So here’s the thing: I liked it. I really did.

Is it unnecessary? I mean…kinda, yeah.

We’ll get into this more in detail below, but the basic fact is that there is a lot to discuss when it comes to these remakes. Are they necessary? Is it a requirement that they add anything new? Should they stay completely faithful to the original source material? Does this story even work in this new medium? Why are we continuing to be okay with Disney owning our souls? So on and so forth.

Regardless of all of this, the fact remains that when the sunrise began onscreen and the first notes of “The Circle of Life” started playing, I was damn excited.

Were there things I was unhappy with? For sure.

Were there things I totally loved and appreciated? Absolutely.

I guess what I need to do is create a new category for movies like this: will they win any awards? Not necessarily. Do they contribute anything on a larger scale? Not necessarily. Do they make the audience ponder something, or think and discuss it afterwards? Not necessarily.

Is it a damn good time?

ABSOLUTELY.

Spoiler alert ahead! (If you somehow don’t know The Lion King…or Hamlet)

THE MUSIC

Listen. It’s Lion King. It’s my boy Hans Zimmer. The music is fanTASTIC.

I’m fully up to arguing about it with you but you’re not likely to change my mind tbh.

Spotify made a playlist with all the music from the new movie specifically, if you’re interested, so go check it out!

Like I briefly mentioned above, my one little…problem, I guess, is the changes specifically made to “Be Prepared.” That song is such an iconic villain theme, and it’s just not present in all its glory here.

(Also like…fam…Beyoncé.)

THE CHARACTERS

I feel like any large change in major characters was due more to the animation choices when it comes to facial expressions rather than anything else related to actual character…like, Simba wasn’t as emotional? Y’all, his face barely moved in this version. I’m sure he still felt things.

…Probably.

Zazu has always been memorable, of course, but I would like to thank and also sell my soul to whatever stars aligned to allow us to have John Oliver as Zazu. I am not even exaggerating. To some degree, he almost feels out of place since he’s everyone’s favorite comedian in a surprisingly serious Disney movie (more on the tone later) and maybe I’m biased as a huge John Oliver stan, but…I don’t care, y’all. He was fantastic. It is disappointing to me that we didn’t get to hear him sing snippets of “It’s a Small World” and “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” (is that the name of the song? It is now), but again…more on the tone later.

In the complete opposite corner, we have Scar. Scar is…a character. I feel like the biggest change for him comes in the form of being angrier. Original Scar felt like he dealt with his issues by covering it up with sarcasm and witty retorts–he was still the villain, but he knew he was more cunning than he was physically strong. This Scar, while certainly still cunning, doesn’t cover up any of his issues or insecurities with humor. This Scar has allowed everything that happened to him to harden him as an individual, so while he’s certainly a villain, he’s a lot less fun than the original.

Rafiki’s change was…fascinating. But I’ll get into that later.

Many of the other characters didn’t change much (with the exception of less facial expressions, of course). Timon and Puumba are voiced by different comedians, so their whole thing is slightly different, but the same idea is there.

Overall, the characters weren’t that different comparatively. So what did change?

THE COLOR

As much as watching the original is painful because nothing will ever be okay when Simba is asking Mufasa to wake up (and now I’m crying), the overall tone of the original was just…playful.

It was a serious story, for sure, but it was tempered with fun all throughout. The colors are bright and boisterous. The self-aware jokes abound. Yet it still sells itself as perfectly serious when it needs to be.

So how does that work?

Well, if you’ll allow me to dive way too deep into a kids’ movie (as I adore doing)…the movie begins with bright colors and a cheery mood. It’s still a realistic palette, because it’s “reality,” but it’s warm and cheery, just like Simba’s life at the start. Then, during “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” the colors explode in an unrealistic fashion to match the song and the choreography where animals do things they normally can’t. This is a stark contrast to the Elephant Graveyard that immediately follows, full of grays and purples. There is danger here, a realistic danger, not like the fantasy world Simba had just come from. Scar’s fantastic villain song, “Be Prepared,” is all greens and blacks, shadows and eeriness. Like many of the other songs, the colors shift to be just a little unnatural, but it’s still not as out there as Simba’s song. Anyway, the colors shift again during the stampede and following it. The warm colors from the beginning are suddenly too bright and harsh, and it frames Simba’s exile well. Then, when Simba meets Timone and Puumba, the bright colors from “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” return because essentially, Simba has found his fantasy world again. The bright, somewhat unnatural colors of paradise are a perfect setting for “Can You Feel the Love Tonight,” and it’s a perfect contrast to the wasteland the Pridelands have become. Simba’s conversation with Rafiki about his destiny and his dad are all the cool, toned-down colors of night. The battle between Simba and Scar is fiery, so the palette returns to those unnatural warm colors from the stampede scene. Once Scar is defeated, it rains, and the harsh warm colors from both the battle and the memories of Mufasa’s death wash away to return to the cool palette of night that we saw when Simba talked with Rafiki. It ends where it began–the colors are a realistic, gentle palette again as Simba’s daughter is introduced to the world, and the circle of life continues.

Clearly, I could talk about color theory forever. And I will. One of the endlessly beautiful things about the Disney renaissance films especially is their stunning use of color, and it’s used so gorgeously in The Lion King.

When you adapt an animated film to live action, you naturally lose that use of color. Animation is a medium that excels in the use of color, but live action doesn’t have that, and that’s just a fact. You can make up for it somewhat in settings, framings, and especially in costumes, but it won’t ever be quite the same as the entire screen exploding with color like you see in the animated films.

I think it’s why the live action Cinderella and Aladdin work for me a little more than the live action Beauty and the Beast and, yes, The Lion King. The characters from Cinderella and Aladdin, while played by “live action people” (I can’t say “real” people because voice actors are real people, too, I promise), are still set in a fantastical world that wasn’t established to be grounded in reality. Cinderella takes place in a kingdom, sure, but where? When? We’re never told. We don’t have to know. Because of that, they can get away with more color. The green of the leaves and the forest can be just a little too bright. The gold of the palace can be just a little too shiny. The garish colors of the ball gowns can be just a little too, well, garish. It’s fantastical and it fits. It’s the same thing with Aladdin–it has a general overall setting, but it’s never fully grounded in time or place, so everything can be just a little too enchanting.

Beauty and the Beast, on the other hand, tethers itself to a specific location (France) and a specific time period (late 18th century). That immediately limits what you can do because the audience expects some sort of reality amidst the fairy tale. It can work, of course, but it just takes some of the magic of the animation away–there’s no way around it. The costumes and the hair and the setting have to be specific to the time period and location you’ve established–you’ve immediately limited yourself.

The live action Alice in Wonderland, hated as it is (why are people so angry at movies all the time?), I think is a good example of this because the creative minds behind it used the plot point of a magical world to still give us all that over-the-top fun from the animation while still grounding it in reality. It’s a fun trick, because you as the audience, like Alice, can never be sure if you were dreaming or not. Alice’s reality is boring and bleached of anything remotely fun, but when she enters her dream world, the colors explode, characters behave like they are animated, and even when she returns to her reality, everything looks just slightly more magical.

I think there’s a way you could have done something similar with The Lion King, but despite the fact that this is a live action animated film (I mean it’s technically CG so we can’t even call it live action I guess?), it feels like everyone was so focused in grounding things in reality. It’s a movie about talking lions, but heaven forbid they show facial expressions. The colors are toned down to, I suppose, recreate reality, but I think the movie suffers for it. The fiery battle with Scar at the end followed by the rain still happens, but the brilliant color scheme is lost–sacrificed for the sake of reality.

In some ways, I think the movie did a good job with this. “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” is no longer an over-the-top fantasy sequence where animals dance and sing with Simba, but a boisterous romp through the watering hole. Simba and Nala turn the whole situation into their own sort of jungle gym as they weave in and out of animals to escape from Zazu’s watching eyes. I think the scene is beautiful and fun, even if it is drastically different from the original.

In others, I think they really missed out. The rather lackluster “Be Prepared” has no element of playful fun to it at all, unlike the original. It’s purely dark–both in tone and in the colors onscreen. It’s unsettling, sure, but that’s about it. We already know that Scar hates Mufasa and is jealous of him, but establishing that is about all this scene does in this version. In the original, “Be Prepared” was fun. It was still a villain song, but it established how cunning and dangerous Scar really was. All we’d seen of him up to that point was how lazy and disenchanted he was–“Be Prepared” was where we first got the hint that something far, far bigger was going on underneath the sarcastic surface.

This ties into part two of the big change, which like I mentioned above, is:

THE TONE

I think one thing I’ve always loved about the original film is that I knew I was in for a good time. Some scenes are devastating to watch, this is true, but above all else, the animated movie always held a tone of whimsy and fun. The point was to be an enjoyable, beautiful story. With talking animals. Comedic relief abounded, and good thing, too, because…it’s pretty dark if you think about it too much.

I feel like the change in tone is most evident when it comes to a couple specific characters.

1. SCAR

Poor, sweet, beautiful Scar…what did they DO to your villain anthem??

I think how I would best describe animated Scar is that he’s an enjoyable villain. Many of the Disney renaissance villains are ones I would categorize as such–Scar, Hades (though I guess Hades isn’t technically renaissance because Hercules technically isn’t but he’s one of my favorite so he stays haHA), Ursula…you get the idea. We kind of love to hate them. They’re terrible people for sure, but look at their designs!! Their songs!! Their memorable quips!! They’re all such a perfect balance of fun while also being absolutely awful. They’re fun to watch but you wouldn’t necessarily want to deal with them yourself–and always without fail their humorous moments are tempered beautifully by their horrific actions. Ursula’s all good fun until she steals Ariel’s voice and uses it to steal her prince (#rude). Hades is relatable AF, but we don’t love him for laughing about Meg’s death and releasing the titans to destroy everything. Scar is the funky distraught uncle until he straight-up murders his brother and convinces a CHILD that it was his own fault and should be banished.

Along with the loss of vibrant color theory play, this enjoyable villain thing is something I feel like the live-action remakes have generally missed. Like a lot. I would argue that Cate Blanchett’s delightful stepmother in Cinderella is the closest they’ve come–she’s classy and delightful to watch, but you’re furious with her for smashing the glass slipper and scheming the way she does. Is she the absolutely horrifying Lady Tremaine of the shadows from the animated version? No, but she’s still good. On the other hand, you have Jafar from the live-action Aladdin, who was just…he was just pure villain. You at least got the impression in the animated movie that Jafar at least had fun every now and then (also Iago? I love him), but this live-action Jafar was just dark and evil and cruel through and through. He wasn’t as interesting that way, just…dark.

This, unfortunately, carries over to Scar in this version of The Lion King. Scar used to be sarcastic, overly dramatic, and delightfully snarky. He was clearly outmatched physically with Mufasa, so he made up for it with a quick wit and dramatic schemes. This new Scar is just like the new Jafar–any semblance of fun or enjoyment has been torn away from him, and what we’re left with is a bitter, angry character with no redeeming qualities.

Interestingly, the 2D animated Scar felt like much more of a well-rounded, three-dimensional character than the one we got in the live-action film. He’s still Scar, he still goes through all the motions, but without any of the heart or fun.

2. THE HYENAS

I group the hyenas together, but there is a disclaimer here–my main issue is with how they changed Shenzi.

Of the three main hyenas of the original story, Shenzi has always been the more competent, but like Scar, she still had an element of fun to her. She was goofy and ridiculous, and she messed up a lot. This, I think, made everything so much more meaningful when she led the final charge against Scar at the end. She finally stood up to him and showed she was plenty smart and cunning, thank you.

The Shenzi we got in the live-action film is still interesting, sure, but also like the new Scar, she’s so much darker. She was even more of a goofball than Scar in the animated film, and here, she’s even more evil. She’s much more silent and reserved–I don’t even remember if she still leads the charge against Scar because it doesn’t mean as much. Her character change here made her much more of a chained-up dog waiting to pounce than she used to be. Scar’s hold on her was a lot more tentative here, which means the surprise of her attacking him (if that even did happen) was lost–you expect it throughout the entire movie.

The other two hyenas are still a sort of comic relief, but not in the same way. This movie is so much more serious than the animated version, so any sort of attempt at comic relief honestly feels a little flat. The two somewhat silly hyenas seem very out of place now, where before they used to fit the puzzle perfectly.

3. RAFIKI

I love puppets. Like, a lot.

I promise this is related.

When I was a relatively new theatre-nut as a kid, my parents and I were able to go see the stage version of The Lion King, which is kind of famous in the theatre world for being a full-length musical done with a whole lotta gorgeous, stylized puppets (this was before Avenue Q, okay?…I think)

Now Rafiki in the stage show is one of the few non-puppets, and Rafiki is also typically played by a woman. Rafiki sings one of my favorite musical theater songs ever (“He Lives in You (Reprise)”) and is just generally wonderful. This is a delightful new take on a character I already enjoyed for being a complete mystical goofball in the original animated movie.

So yeah, I got a little bit of a soft spot for Rafiki. I generally don’t like monkeys, but Rafiki is the one exception for me.

I was excited to see what they’d do with Rafiki in the live-action adaptation. Would he be as much of a goofball as I remembered? Would they pull some sort of inspiration from the stage show and have Rafiki be played by a woman? Would Rafiki sing my favorite song????

The answer is uh…none of the above. I realize it’s been a few weeks (months) since I’ve seen the movie at this point, but uh…Rafiki didn’t do anything in this movie, y’all.

Not only did he barely appear, but I genuinely don’t think Rafiki said a single damn word.

This was such a weird change for me because I cannot for the life of me understand why this change was made. They kept in the classic scenes of Rafiki holding Simba the cub up on Pride Rock, him drawing baby Simba and then crossing him out when he’s presumed dead and gone, so on and so forth. I think he fights at the end?

One of my favorite scenes from the animated movie is when Rafiki speaks with Simba when he’s at his lowest. It’s why I like “He Lives in You (Reprise).” Rafiki shows Simba that Mufasa is alive–in him. He doesn’t tell it to him outright, but he helps him realize it in possibly the most vague and frustrating way imaginable. And isn’t that how life is?

Rafiki, Shenzi, and Scar are characters who, while they are definitely more than that, are silly. They’re comedic as well as crucial. They add to the animated film’s tone of lightness when it’s needed–and enhance it to be even more. The live-action movie took all of that away from them, and it’s a real shame.

The live-action movie, for some reason, decided it needed to take the more serious elements of the original film and enhance them by about a billion, and these characters prove that. Any element of fun was stripped from them and replaced with something else (or nothing else, in Rafiki’s case). Is it bad? Not necessarily. With the exception of Rafiki, I still think it’s executed well. It’s just…different. Unfortunate, if you know the source material, but not necessarily bad.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Listen, if you expect something groundbreaking and breathtaking and the best thing in the world like…Black Panther, this movie ain’t it, chief.

On the other hand, it’s also not something confusing, disappointing, but still visually appealing, like…*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

This movie, like The Meg, Late Night, and arguably Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, is just a damn good time. Maybe it doesn’t add anything new or say anything incredibly profound and life-changing, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.

And who knows, maybe some people did get something new and profound and amazing out of this film–and that’s awesome!

For me, I don’t think it necessarily adds anything to the original animated story (unlike Cinderella and Aladdin and I guess Maleficent? I always forget that’s technically the live-action Sleeping Beauty…I mean it’s GREAT though), but it’s still enjoyable. It’s definitely still a fun time, and it’s still gorgeous to look at. It’s just…different.

But if all you want is a damn good time at the movies, I think I can recommend this to you. Unless you’re someone who is continually offended by the live-action remakes–you may be too blinded by love of the original to see anything good in this one. And I get that, believe me! So maybe this one isn’t for you, and that’s just fine.

As I like to say, I don’t know you, I don’t know your life.

All in all, I give The Lion King…

3/5 REALLY AWESOME DRAWINGS OF BABY SIMBA!!!

What are you talking about, this is exactly what they looked like in the movie.

FAVORITE MOMENT:

I really do love the “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” sequence, but also can we please talk about changing the distraction joke from Timon wearing a hula skirt and singing to Timon putting on a horrible French accent and singing “Be Our Guest”? Iconic.

I mean, I love you Ewan McGregor, but…yeah.

“OOF” MOMENT:

As discussed above, the changes made to Rafiki really irked me, and I’m still not over what they did to “Be Prepared.” Big frowny face from me, y’all.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Playing With Fire looks so, so bad. And it’s a shame, because I think if they took it seriously, it could be an interesting story. But because it’s aimed at kids, it’s going to be filled with stupid humor. Because kids aren’t smart enough to understand anything else, right? (I should say though, that the last time I saw this trailer in a theatre full of adults, THEY were all laughing at it. These were adults who came to see the Downton Abbey movie. DOWNTON. ABBEY. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD.)

Listen. Listen. Cats is unironically my second favorite musical and you bet I am going to see this movie at least once and be unironically excited about it. Were interesting choices made? 100%. Am I still going to see it because Taylor Swift is a cat? Without a doubt.

Mulan is…happening. I’m so torn. This may be the remake that breaks me. Because on the one hand, I’m thrilled they’re changing things so that it stays more faithful to the original Chinese legend. On the other hand…”I’ll Make a Man Out of You” 😦 (then there’s all the drama with the lead actress making public her support for the Hong Kong police which is a whole other barrel of worms…are there any more updates about that? Does anyone know?)

And that about does it for this review!

Is it the best Disney movie ever? Definitely not, that honor belongs to Tarzan and Atlantis: The Lost Empire…although I guess Black Panther is technically a Disney film, too, because Marvel…? So fine, that one can stay, too.

But it’s still good. It’s still fun. And y’all…it still has BEYONCÉ.

Toy Story 4 REVIEW

It’s cute how this poster lies to you by making you think all these characters are actually super important in the movie

So, a while ago, (in my defense–it was Shark Week) I took myself and the fam to the movies, and we saw Toy Story 4.

Which is…a film.

I will freely admit that although I tried to go in without any expectations, I still had a lot. I mean, it’s PIXAR. And…it’s Toy Story.

So while it’s safe to say that it’s certainly a well-done movie, I just…I have feelings about it.

THE PLOT

We pick up right where we left off in Toy Story 3, with all of Andy’s toys now belonging to Bonnie, and–

…wait, we don’t do that?

Oh…okay.

We ACTUALLY pick up in a sort of flashback. It was briefly mentioned in Toy Story 3 that somehow, our favorite group of ragtag toys lost Bo Peep sometime during the years when Andy was growing up. While it’s certainly sad, I mean Woody and Bo were like…aw, she’s not the only toy they’ve lost over the years. Again, while it’s sad, it’s something they’ve dealt with before, but the important thing is that they all stuck together because they are each other’s family.

Oh, jeez, I’m sorry, I’m going on and on about the consistent message the past three films were giving us, about the importance of finding who you are based off of the people who care about you and not what society tells you, about overcoming sadness and heartbreak by facing it and moving forward with your family who loves you because you’re never alone in anything, about how found family is just as powerful if not more so, about how friendship can always win…

Anyway, Toy Story 4 basically answers the question none of us asked: why is it that these movies are so focused on friendship when we all know romance is the TRUE superpower??

…plot. Yes. We’re talking about plot.

Andy’s younger sister Molly grew tired of her Bo Peep lamp, so the family decided to give her away (I initially assumed to some sort of collector, but it sounds like she did go to another family with a kid first before ending up in the antiques shop). After performing a daring rescue to save RC Car from the gutter during the rainstorm, Woody heads back outside to save Bo Peep as well.

Bo gently points out that she’s not Andy’s toy, so there’s no need for him to try and keep them all together or something like that. So Bo and Woody have a heartfelt goodbye in the rain, Andy freaks when he realizes Woody is outside somehow, and life goes on.

Now we finally catch up to where we left off perfectly in Toy Story 3. All our favorite toys now belong to Bonnie, and life carries on as usual. The only problem is, Bonnie never actually plays with Woody, and she leaves him in the closet all the time.

This gives Woody a bit of an identity crisis because, I mean, he’s a toy!! He should be played with!!! He’s the leader!!!! So he breaks all the rules and sneaks inside Bonnie’s bag to accompany her to kindergarten. Bonnie is, heart-achingly, scared of kindergarten and doesn’t want to go. She’s shy and doesn’t easily make friends, and when she tries to, her art supplies get thrown out. Woody sees this and magically gets the art supplies back on her table. Bonnie, now determined, makes herself a friend: Forky.

(Sidenote: it drives me crazy that Forky is actually a spork. I know that’s part of the joke, but like…he refers to himself as a spork…other characters refer to him as a spork…JUST CALL HIM SPORKY. You’re telling me Bonnie didn’t know what the difference was between a fork and a spork?? I learned that when I was younger than Bonnie and it was my favorite fact in the world. Anyway. Back to the plot.)

Forky is a little, uh…he’s a little lost. He keeps trying to throw himself away because…I mean he’s a plastic spork, but Woody won’t let him. He tells everyone that Forky is “the most important toy to Bonnie right now” so he has to protect him.

Bonnie’s family ends up going on a road trip, and of course, Forky escapes on the road. Woody jumps out of the RV to go find him and bring him back, and then they get side-tracked because Woody sees what he thinks is Bo’s lamp in the window of an antiques shop. This is where they meet Gabby Gabby and her weird army of silent puppet minions, and also where, yes, you guessed it, Woody and Bo are reunited.

The adventure unfolds, new friends are made, and while Woody’s consistent goal is to get back to Bonnie, he has to keep asking himself…does he really want to?

(Yes. Well, the old Woody would. I don’t know this new guy.)

THE REVIEW

OKAY, now that the plot’s out of the way, I get to be as snarky as I want to.

I really wanted to like this movie.

I always have high expectations with Pixar, and even though I’m not the biggest fan of sequels (and Pixar has certainly had some less-than-stellar sequels…lookin’ at you, Finding Dory and Cars 2…), I’ve loved all of the Toy Story movies. In fact, as I was ruminating on what I would say about this movie, I realized that the second Toy Story is actually my favorite of the bunch!

What I appreciated is that every addition to the Toy Story franchise brought something new that added to the world and the characters and almost never felt redundant or unnecessary–the first is about coming to terms with being a toy and learning how to deal with not being a favorite anymore, the second is about second chances and trust and also about legacies vs. friendship, and the third is all about growing up, change, and facing hardships together.

None of the major plot points in Toy Story 4 are new, with the exception of Forky’s creation, which just brings about so many questions about how inanimate objects even work in this universe. Even then, Forky’s entire plot line is thrown to the curb not even halfway through the film, because despite the advertising, he’s not the main focus of the story at all–Bo Peep is.

Look–I could go on and on, and trust me, I will. While I certainly have nitpicks as well as just general overall problems with the film, I still will say that it’s a good movie. It just is. It’s absolutely gorgeous, for starters, and some of the new characters are delightful additions to the franchise (Ducky, Bunny, and Gabby in particular). I still cried like a baby during the entire last act. I still liked it.

That doesn’t change the fact that I left feeling disappointed. And I know, because I’ve said it in many of my reviews, that not all movies are for everyone. That’s one of the most beautiful things about cinema as a whole–there are so many options, there’s bound to be something for everyone. Just because I, and a very select few others, were disappointed with the film and have some issues, doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way. Lots of people loved the film and were so happy for Woody and Bo, and that’s great.

I guess what hurts is that I grew up with this franchise and these characters. I got used to seeing Pixar as a studio that, ultimately, could make stories that mostly everyone could enjoy. I got used to this franchise that stuck to its main theme of friendship being so much more powerful and important than we are normally taught it is. I got used to this weird sense of entitlement with these stories, and I get that these movies are not for me.

It’s just…it always felt like they were.

So what is it exactly that set this movie apart in such a weirdly negative way?

If you’re still with me, let’s charge ahead!

WHO’S READY TO OVERANALYZE A KIDS’ MOVIE????

THE ART

Like I mentioned previously, this is a gorgeous movie. It just is. The animation is just…it’s jaw-dropping. And the attention to detail? Just ridiculous. Pixar goes above and beyond to make this a beautiful experience if nothing else, so credit where credit is due: those animators and those artists deserve so much love and attention for their work on this film. It’s so detailed and realistic it’s sometimes hard to remember that this is supposed to be a kids’ film and an animated movie…

I…yeah. I mean the only way to really appreciate it all is to go and see the film for yourself. Despite my personal feelings about the rest of it, I do genuinely think it’s worth seeing for the art alone.

The music is, for the most part, delightful. Again, it’s Toy Story, it’s Randy Newman, it’s wonderful.

…with the exception of the re-use of the classic theme “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” but we’ll get to my beef with that later.

Don’t get attached to any of these lovable friends, they’re barely in the movie

THE CHARACTERS

…let’s start with the new characters before I get into…other things.

Forky is a precious summer child and I love him. All the jokes about him being the perfect representation for people finally because…he’s trash (and so are we all) are hilarious. He’s adorably naive about everything since he’s only been alive for a couple days, but I don’t think it ever gets annoying at all. He vexes Woody, sure, but it’s more adorable than obnoxious. Once he understands Bonnie’s attachment to him and how important he is, his determination to get back to her is super sweet. We only experience a portion of it because, again, despite all advertisement he is not the focus of the film, but I digress.

Ducky and Bunny are a pair I was convinced would be annoying, kind of like the little alien in MIB: International, but they were surprisingly lovable. The various “plush rush” jokes were fantastic, and the fact that their “hands” were sewn together and therefore they constantly had to move like that was super great. My main quip with them is that they were introduced with this whole plot line of “we’re mad at Buzz because he ruined our chances to be won as a prize and go home with a kid!” And then it was just suddenly dropped in favor of the whole Bo x Woody thing. Like, whoops, my bad, I thought we were playing by the previous Toy Story rules of “everyone joins our found family group” haha SILLY ME.

Gabby Gabby is by far my favorite part of this film. I mean she was heavily advertised as the villain, and they do present her and her minions that way. When we learn about her from Bo’s point of view, we accept she is the villain. What’s fascinating about Gabby is that she’s just like every other toy (except for Bo): she just wants a kid. In fact, she has her heart set on one kid in particular, and when we learn this about her, it only makes her more endearing. It is genuinely heartbreaking when she is rejected by the shop owner’s granddaughter. We are genuinely happy for her when she gets to go home with the girl who was lost at the fair. Hers is the one plot line I would say is genuinely unique (besides Forky’s, perhaps) and even then, there’s some overlap. Anyway, I love Gabby and I wish her the best of the best.

Bo Peep is by far the star of the film, and that’s fine. She was never my favorite toy from the previous films, but I’m not holding that against her. I like the idea of her making a comeback (though I still think it’s an unnecessary storyline since Woody had definitely moved on from her, but we’re apparently getting rid of everything the past films taught us anyway so moving on) and having changed into a sort of kick-ass vigilante type. To give credit where it’s due, Bo’s transformation to lost toy was very believable and effective, and I think it suits her character well. I do believe that despite her strength during their flashback goodbye, she would definitely still have feelings about Woody and would miss him. They were great friends and inferred great loves. That’s all fine.

What’s not fine is Woody, but I think I need an entirely different section for that.

I can’t even talk about any of the other characters because they don’t get enough screen time to justify it. Keanu Reeves voices a Canadian stuntman doll who’s a great source of comedic relief, but that’s about it.

THE WOODY PROBLEM

How do I put this without sounding like a complaining child…I honestly don’t know if I can. This is a kids’ film after all, and continuity and great characterization are generally low on the list because it’s just for kids after all, who expects that?

But the problem is that Pixar built an entire foundation on getting us to expect things like that. Each previous Toy Story sequel took what was already good about the previous film and built on it. This film knocked over the entire tower.

Woody has always been a fun protagonist in the sense that he’s not perfect–far from it! The films don’t shy away from that. He’s selfish, easily jealous, passionate to a fault, an unrealistic dreamer, and sometimes just a flat-out jerk. It was always refreshing, then, to see him grow and change with every film. In the beginning, he had to wrestle with the idea of being replaced (or at least not being the favorite anymore), something we can all relate to. Then he had to struggle with choosing fame and legacy over friends and family (admittedly, not something that’s as easy to relate to, but somehow the film still presented the struggle in a sympathetic light). Then he had to struggle with the massive change that comes with growing up, and even at one point, coming to terms with death (something we all will have to relate to at some point). While Woody was always presented as the protagonist, he never dealt with anything alone. These films always pushed friendship and found family above all else, which has always been an incredibly refreshing take.

Woody learned how to make peace with not being the favorite toy, he learned how to show compassion for and learn about someone he initially didn’t like, he learned how to come to terms with a legacy that can easily overshadow him and take him away from what’s important, he learned that family and friends who fight for you no matter what are more important than anything, he learned that dealing with loss is a fact of life but one you never, ever have to face alone, he learned that sometimes the people who seem the nicest hide the cruelest intentions, he learned that life goes on even when we lose people, even when they grow and change…

And we learned all those things with him.

This is why it felt wrong for Woody to fall back into old habits from the first movie and suddenly be jealous about not being the favorite toy again. This is why it felt wrong for Woody to so easily and without question abandon the friends and family he’d sworn over and over again to fight for and be present for. This is why it felt so wrong for him to just choose romance over lifelong friends and family.

Rather than moving forward with the beautifully and intricately weaved plot over the years, this movie felt like it took 17 steps backwards, or even just created an alternate universe entirely. While the lost toy plot and choice is an interesting one, it’s a story that didn’t have to be Woody’s. Woody’s story was so neatly wrapped up in Toy Story 3 that it didn’t need all this extra out-of-character fluff. Give the plot line to RC Car–maybe the trauma of the rain gutter rescue really got to them and they decide they want to go around saving other toys or helping them so they never feel the way RC Car did. It would develop a character that we hardly heard anything from in this movie, but still be a good story about family and friendship.

Speaking of…

THE ENSEMBLE PROBLEM

It’s rare to find a series that does such a good job as a true ensemble piece. Sure, Woody and Buzz are in essence the “lead characters,” but we know and love the other characters just as much as them because they are all just as developed. We love Rex, Jessie, Bullseye, Slinky, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Sarge and the guys, RC Car, Hamm, and all the rest of them just as much as our two leads because they also get screen time.

This was an element that, although blatantly present in all past installments, was blatantly absent in this film. So much emphasis was put on Woody and Bo and all of…that, that the rest of the ensemble (WHOM WE ALSO KNOW AND LOVE) got barely any screen time.

It felt hollow when Woody said goodbye to Buzz and the gang because we’d hardly seen them that film, just as Woody had hardly seen them. Rather than being thrilled to be united with them again (LIKE THE REAL WOODY WOULD HAVE BEEN), he had very little trouble just leaving them. Forever. It’s like….I mean….WHAT.

It’s called Toy Story. Not Woody Story. And I get that Pixar has had some major staffing renovations or whatever, I don’t follow drama if I can help it because then I just get sad *cough*THEMAGICIANS*cough*, but…this just felt way out of left field. For a series that used to preach on and on about how important and powerful friendship is, this just felt like a punch in the gut and in the childhood. And me and like, maybe two other people didn’t appreciate it.

THE ROMANCE PROBLEM

Now, listen. LISTEN.

I am a huge romantic. I fully admit and embrace this. Proposal videos make me cry. A sweet, well-executed romantic moment in a show, movie, or book will also make me cry. The scene in Ever After when Henry comes to save Danielle and calls her by her true name for the first time makes me SOB. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

And maybe it’s because moving to a new state and losing a lot of really good friendships will do this to you, but I’ve grown to appreciate good depictions of healthy friendships just as much as healthy romance. It’s why I’ve grown to love series like Toy Story even more as the years go by (yeah, I know, “shut up ya 22-year-old millennial”).

While I can appreciate the sweet relationship that Bo and Woody have, I don’t prefer it to the friendships by any means. As cute as they are, Bo and Woody had barely any screen time and development over the course of the series compared to Woody and Buzz, Woody and Jessie, Woody and Andy, Woody and…literally almost anyone else. While I can believe that Woody would be nostalgic for Bo and what could have been, I can’t believe that he would abandon his family for her.

For some reason, 2019 seems to be the year of media friendships being literally shoved aside and tossed into the fires of “who cares I guess” to make room for romance that like…okay, I guess.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World was the first example of this that I can think of, and even though I praised the film for its depiction and inclusion of the realism of life or whatever then, I’m rethinking my stance a little. A great friendship was still ruined in favor of romance, and the Light Fury was even less-developed than Bo Peep. I do appreciate, however, that the reasoning behind the choice was at least well-thought-out. It wasn’t really a conscious choice on anyone’s part–it was presented as the unfortunate reality of the world they lived in. The only way to stay truly safe was to separate. Does it still suck and am I still a little bitter about it, looking back? Yeah. 100%.

Then we had Avengers: Endgame. I dunno if they were just trying to appease all their older, comic-book-loving white guy fans (assuming they cared about appeasing the fans at all #burn), but there is something genuinely wrong with the way Steve just up and abandoned Bucky and Sam. This is a case that I think is a lot more similar to the Toy Story situation than HTTYD is. Even though Steve was shown to fight for Bucky and Sam (but like, especially Bucky) and their friendship in movie after movie, for some reason, the first chance he gets to time travel, he goes back and stays with Peggy. Now don’t get me wrong, Peggy is great and I love her, but Steve had canonically moved on. Was it still sad? Absolutely. But Steve had great friends and family to surround himself with, and then suddenly he just noped out of there without even explaining to his so-called friends what he was doing. It, too, felt like a punch in the gut because it’s almost like it was saying (since he is Captain America after all) “the true American dream is getting married and living out a romance, forget all those friendships you have, they don’t matter.”

And it’s not just movies pushing this romance-over-friendship narrative–TV shows have been guilty of it this year as well (although some shows seem to be taking the complete opposite road and just not giving anyone any happiness ever because it’s “subversive” or whatever). I don’t know what is in the air this year, but I don’t like it.

Look–romance is fine. Romance is GREAT. When done well, it can absolutely serve as a tremendous plot point that both adds to the story and the overall narrative (as we will discuss in the movie Yesterday, coming soon to a blog near you!). But the narrative point of Toy Story has always, always, been friendship. I mean, even when they brought in Jessie, a perfect female counterpart to Woody, they didn’t force the two together. Sure, Woody already had Bo Peep here, but that’s not the point. The point is that they created a perfect partner for Woody, it was a perfect setup for romance…and they didn’t go that route. She’s his partner alright…HIS PARTNER IN CRIME.

Woody helped Jessie heal from her past trauma and found her a family and a kid to give her a new purpose, while fully realizing that he is an essential part of that family, too.

And yeah, Jessie and Buzz get all romanced in Toy Story 3, but that’s still not the point of the movie. Just as Woody and Bo have never before been the center plot, Jessie and Buzz weren’t either. The scene we all remember from the third movie is when they all hold hands and stay together, resigned to their fate in the incinerator. The message there isn’t romance above all–it’s friendship. It’s family.

There is nothing wrong with romance…except when it overshadows the point.

This is why I’m upset with them using the classic “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” song. That’s a friendship song. That’s Woody and Buzz’s song. You don’t get to use that song if you focus on romance the whole time and tear apart the two best friends that the song IS ABOUT. THAT’S RUDE.

THE THEME PROBLEM

So what is the theme of Toy Story 4?

….anyone?

Anyone?

Yeah.

You could argue that it’s all about finding your purpose, and I’d be inclined to agree with you, except then I’d say “but that was also tied into Woody’s character arc in the first movie, Jessie’s arc in the second, and the whole group’s arc in the third. It’s an arc that was so satisfyingly fulfilled at the end of the third movie, it’s beyond beating a dead horse in this movie (sorry Bullseye).” Can it still be the movie’s theme? Yeah, sure–when it comes to Gabby and Forky. But again, they’re not what this movie is about (even though the trailers would have you believe otherwise and YES, I WILL KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT).

You could argue that it’s about friendship, like all the films have been! After all, Woody made new friends and made it his life’s purpose to help other toys find friendship. Great! Except then I’d tell you, “how on EARTH can you argue this movie is about friendship when Woody said goodbye to not only his best friends in the world (not that you could tell from how much damn screen time they got in this movie, i.e., PRACTICALLY NONE) but also Buzz?? BUZZ FREAKIN LIGHTYEAR, HIS PERFECT FOIL, HIS PARTNER, HIS BEST BEST FRIEND, HIS GOOD BUDDY WHO HAS CHASED HIM DOWN AND TALKED SENSE INTO HIM AND BROUGHT HIM BACK HOME TIME AND TIME AGAIN?? Yeah. Yeah this movie is really aaaaaallllll about friendship. Right.”

You could argue that who the hell even cares, it’s a kids’ movie, and it’s not like it’s a bad kids’ movie, stop overanalyzing it. To which I’d say “yeah, I get it. Believe me. EXCEPT YOU CAN’T SERIOUSLY EXPECT ME TO OVERLOOK THAT WHEN THEME HAS PLAYED SUCH A CENTRAL ROLE IN EVERY DAMN TOY STORY MOVIE UP UNTIL NOW. YA CAN’T JUST RAISE THE BAR SUPER HIGH AND THEN BE SHOCKED WHEN I THEN GET UPSET BECAUSE THE BAR BARELY GOT OFF THE GROUND WITH THIS MOVIE.”

Or, you could argue that the theme of the movie is, of course, romance. It’s a perfect “ending” where Woody bids farewell to the family and friends he claims are most important to him (just like we’re supposed to do, we should be saying goodbye to these characters just like Woody is, real freakin’ subtle Pixar LEAVE MY CHILDHOOD ALONE) to spend the rest of his days uniting toys and kids with a romance he had already gotten over just like we had. Don’t we all feel fulfilled???

No.

But that’s the theme. That’s the winner. It’s a romantic drama that masqueraded as a family fun adventure film with a focus on friendship and love saving the day. First of all, rude. Second of all, RUDE.

Yes pls leave and bring back the true Woody, thanks

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look. I know, okay? I get it.

It’s a kids’ movie. I’m not the target audience (even if I did grow up with these characters). It’s not meant to be graded as anything other than a movie for children about talking toys. I do understand that, believe it or not.

And even though I think the previous films form a perfect trilogy that really set the stage for what family films can be, and that this one doesn’t even come close to the same league as the other three, I can’t deny that it’s still a good film.

It’s gorgeous. It’s funny. It’s heartbreaking. It’s meaningful.

And if you’re not as offended by continuity errors and the whole cash-grab-esque nature of it all like I am, you’ll probably love it.

Trying to explain to people in a short sentence why exactly I had so many problems with this movie is not an easy task, because so much of it is under the surface of a good film.

“But it’s Toy Story 4, how can it be bad??”

That’s just it–it’s not bad. It’s almost insulting how good it is, because it’s even harder to defend myself on why I dislike it so much. And that’s frankly rude of you, Pixar.

I guess all I can do is look at people and say “look. It’s no Wall-e. It’s no Ratatouille.” And hope they understand.

(They won’t of course, because for some reason no one likes Ratatouille? The nerve of some of y’all…)

Pixar established itself early on as a company that cares. Genuinely. They took a medium that was established in America as being for kids only, and turned it into something more. The movies they make are for kids, sure, but it’s more than that–they’re for everyone. They rarely pandered to you with characters or a message that was anything less than incredible. I think that’s why Cars 2 was such a disappointment–because that was a kids’ movie more than it was just…a movie. Pixar used to care about continuity, about creating a world and characters we can genuinely care about, because they cared about them, too.

But now that Disney owns them? It’s starting to look hopeless. Gone is the love and care and attention to detail (unless it comes to the specific stitches in Bo Peep’s outfit). Disney as a company now only cares about one thing: your money. And they keep getting a lot of it by playing off of established, well-loved franchises and characters.

The results have been…less than ideal. Not all the time! I stand by the live action Cinderella, Incredibles 2, and even Aladdin (which should really be called Jasmine).

But overall?

They’re putting out less-than-stellar work because they don’t think they have to do anything more than that in order to get people’s money. And we’re letting them get away with it.

It’s kind of disgusting, and all the more reason we should absolutely support smaller studios and any animated movie that is not Disney, basically, like the incredible Into the Spider-verse movie and the Laika animation studio.

BASICALLY–all my personal bitterness aside, go see Toy Story 4 if you want to. You’ll probably like it, and it is good.

But if you left the theater after watching Toy Story 3 feeling satisfied and fulfilled at these wonderful characters’ arcs and the amazing completion of the storyline, I’d probably stay away from it. Toy Story 4 doesn’t answer any lingering questions, doesn’t fill any annoying plot holes, and doesn’t make you feel good after watching it. It leaves so much more open than the third movie does, trust me. You might leave feeling like you watched something good, but you probably won’t leave satisfied.

Or maybe you will. I don’t know you, I don’t know your life. I know I’m in the minority on this. Whatever.

Plus, on the other hand, apparently a whole bunch of moms wanted to boycott the movie because in one like, maybe 4-second shot, a child is shown with two moms. So I take it back, go see this movie and then only talk about how fantastic that particular scene is just to anger people and also show Disney we want more stuff like that, please.

Overall, I give Toy Story 4

3/5 SPORKY’S!!! (Because he is a SPORK, not a FORK, DAMMIT)

Look, the whole thing reads like a fan fiction of Toy Story where someone was bitter about Bo Peep’s “missing” status in the third movie, rather than an official installment.

I probably could have just said that about it rather than my long ranting review up there. Oh well. No regrets.

FAVORITE MOMENT:

When Gabby showed herself to the girl crying at the fair. That was much more genuine and much less forced than Woody and Buzz’s goodbye, which in my mind didn’t even happen anyway, so. The movie actually ended after this scene. Crazy, huh?

“OOF” MOMENT:

To everyone saying that “Bonnie’s just a kid and kids are fickle with toys!! Don’t blame her for forgetting Woody and her promise to Andy to look after him!”

Exactly. Kids are fickle about toys. So you can bet one day that Bonnie’s gonna remember Woody and go looking for him…only to find him gone.

Yeah. This is potential canon now. Thanks, Pixar.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Spies in Disguise has the GREATEST premise I have seen in a long time and I am SO EXCITED FOR IT. Will it be a mess? Very likely. But it just looks like a good time and I am here for it.

Trolls World Tour is a movie that is actually happening…for some reason.

Onward is the first new original Pixar film in YEARS which means I’m naturally thrilled for it. Here’s hoping I don’t have to be talking about Onward 2: Electric Boogaloo in a couple years. But I probably will be.

And that’s it!

Again, odds are you will go see Toy Story 4 and you will like it, and that’s fine. Not every movie can be Black Panther. But we should expect movies to at least make an effort, right? We should want movies that are both visually stunning and filled with thought-provoking plots and delightful characters?? Not just movies that are pretty much only visually stunning??? *cough*TOYSTORY4 AND ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

*shrug emoji*

A Collection of Mini Reviews (Miniviews)

OH HEY EVERYONE.

So like I mentioned when I started this blog, I have that AMC A-List thing which means I have the opportunity to go see quite a lot of movies!

Which is super fun until I have absolutely no motivation to review them and then the other parts of my life start kicking up and then I get distracted by other things (namely, and I’m 100% serious: My Singing Monsters Composer. #notsponsored)…yeah.

So I finally sat down to do a tally this morning, and realized that I have seen SIX movies lately that I haven’t reviewed. Like a FOOL. Now because I don’t know how to say anything concisely, those six full-fledged reviews would take a loooooooong time. And I realized that of those six, there aren’t really any that stood out in such a significant way that I’d want to write a full-fledged review about them (with the exception of Booksmart because…Y’ALL. But in that case, just take my word for it and go see it because I cannot fully put into words how delightful it is).

So this post is a catch-up of sorts: I’m gonna do a mini review (or miniview if you will, because…reasons) for each of those six films and just crash-course them to the essentials. So without further ado, let us go!

MINIVIEW 1: BOOKSMART

MY THOUGHTS:

I cannot say enough about this movie. I have seen it three times now and I will be seeing it many more. It’s clever, it’s funny, it’s raunchy (but not too much), it’s an absolute delight from start to finish. The acting is amazing, the directing is great, it’s so beautifully shot, and the music?? THE MUSIC?? Spotify has something called “The Official Booksmart Playlist” which features all the songs used in the film plus little commentary clips from composer and arranger Dan the Automator and director Olivia Wilde, which is ridiculously fun if you’re a mega nerd like me. It’s just so obvious that so much love and care was put into this film, and it feels like a love letter to high school and buddy cop movies alike. Plus, it’s incredibly quotable. I know that I was skeptical because the trailer made it seem like…I mean it could be good, but…it could also be really not good. But it’s so, so good. Please do yourself a favor and see it. It does exactly what movies should do: allow you an escape alongside characters you can love in a story you can enjoy and appreciate.

There are so many little things that I love: the casual all-gender restroom scene, the main relationship focus being a positive and supportive female friendship, Amy doesn’t have a plot line about discovering she’s gay and dealing with that it’s just who she is, Molly doesn’t have a plot line about being plus-size and dealing with that it’s just who she is…I could go on and on forever.

Plus–IT’S AN ORIGINAL STORY!!! It’s not a remake!! It’s not a sequel!! It’s not based on a book!!! IT JUST EXISTS!!!!!!!!!!

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

The movie is shot and written in such a way that you judge all of Molly and Amy’s classmates the same way they do, so that when each classmate’s story is revealed by the end, you’re kind of ashamed of yourself for judging them like Molly and Amy do…because you experience everything with them, you feel everything with them, too. When Molly and Amy come crashing into graduation and all their classmates cheer? Iconic. You want to cheer as well. When Molly talks about each classmate and how she’s learned who they really are? You have, too! It’s such a fun way to experience the story and I just love everyone and I’M FULL OF FEELINGS.

Every character has a story that serves to flesh them out as an individual and make them likable…Unlike, say another movie I could mention…….

*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

Also–that underwater scene at the party????? I CANNOT.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

YES.

Overall, I give Booksmart

6/5 SCHOOL BOOKS!!!

Seriously, it’s such a good time, and it suffered at the box office opening weekend because it came out alongside Aladdin (we’ll get to that) and John Wick (we will not get to that). We want more movies like this, fam.

MINIVIEW 2: UGLYDOLLS

MY THOUGHTS:

I struggled with what to say about this one because I know it got a lot of negative reviews when it came out. I was excited because I’m generally a sucker for musical movies, I’m very nostalgic for Uglydolls, and Janelle Monáe is in it. Once I saw it, I guess the reason I didn’t relate to all the negative reviews is because like…this is very clearly a kids’ movie. You can’t review it like a movie movie because it never presents itself as such. Unlike, say, the How to Train Your Dragon franchise. HTTYD is a series for kids based off a bunch of kids’ books, sure, but it is presented in such a way with serious themes that it’s a family film, rather than a kids’ film. Uglydolls never tries to invoke serious themes like HTTYD does, or like most Pixar movies do (….most). If you just appreciate it for what it is, it’s a very well-done kids’ movie. It’s not a great adult/family movie because it never tries to be: it’s a kids’ movie, guys. Chill out.

Am I biased because Kelly Clarkson and Janelle Monáe are in it? Most definitely. But this is a solid, fun, feel-good movie.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

The animation is to die for, but what really stands out to me is the overall message of the film: beauty standards are dumb.

This film serves as such a huge kick in the teeth to the beauty industry and society as a whole that I just have to applaud it? I mean the main antagonist is a white, blonde guy who decides what makes everyone else beautiful even though he looks nothing like most of them. There’s a girl who needs glasses but she’s afraid to wear them because she’s been told they make her less beautiful. All of the Uglydolls are told they’ll never be wanted because they’re not perfect enough. And even then, when they try to conform to the ridiculous beauty standards Nick Jonas’s character sets, he still doesn’t accept them. The good ending only comes when they all realize that they’re beautiful and perfect just the way they are–do you even know how important it is for kids to hear messages like that in the media? They’re growing up in a world where fat-shaming, photoshopping, and racism in the beauty industry run rampant and are hardly ever called out (although they are more so now). The more kids learn to be comfortable with exactly who they are and how they look, the less power the beauty industry has over them. And that’s phenomenal.

And to the reviewer who complained that the message of the movie was completely contradicted because the Uglydolls aren’t actually ugly, they’re adorable? That’s the whole damn point, my dear. The Uglydolls represent everyone who has been told by society that they are not enough for whatever reason, but they are enough. They’re not ugly, of course they’re not. No one is ugly. Society tries to tell us there are people who are ugly and people who are perfect, but the point is that that is not true at all: everyone is beautiful and wonderful just the way they are, no matter what.

Plus, super fun songs. I mean, Kelly Clarkson’s Moxie singing to herself “look how much you weigh! And you couldn’t look better!!” WE STAN A QUEEN.

You know what movie doesn’t have fun songs to get the message across??

…okay a lot of them don’t, but SPECIFICALLY *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look, it’s super cute and fun. It’s sweet and pure and has really cute and genuinely funny moments (Gibberish Cat gets me every damn time) and I do think that if you have kids, they’ll enjoy it, and you might, too. Please teach the kids in your life that they are beautiful and smart and brave and wonderful just the way they are.

Overall, I give Uglydolls

4/5 UGLYDOLLS!!!

I personally didn’t think it was the mess that reviews made it out to be. Could I be biased? 100% absolutely. So decide for yourself. AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE GORGEOUS, WITH OR WITHOUT GLASSES OR WHATEVER.

MINIVIEW 3: DETECTIVE PIKACHU

MY THOUGHTS:

I KNEW EVERYONE WAS CRYING ABOUT THE BULBASAURS BUT THAT STILL DIDN’T FULLY PREPARE ME AND I WAS SOBBING ABOUT BULBASAURS

*ahem* So anyway.

I think Uglydolls and Detective Pikachu are similar in that they both very specifically knew their audience. Where Uglydolls was directly aimed at kids, Detective Pikachu was directly aimed at kids obsessed with Pokémon as well as adults like me who grew up with Pokémon and are fully willing to cry about Bulbasaurs.

So with all that in mind, I thought it was absolutely delightful. It was cute, well-animated and well-acted, and I just…Ryan Reynolds. As Pikachu. I never knew I needed that.

Was the plot twist completely predictable? Of course. Was it cheesy and goofy and unrealistic? 112%. But it was so much fun and just…I loved it?

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

I think what made the movie work, despite the ridiculousness and the predictability and the goofiness is that it truly was a love letter to the franchise. Remember when Pokémon Go came out and we all lost our collective minds because oh my god there’s a Squirtle in my living room??! They captured that magic yet again with this film, but tenfold. So much love and care was put into every Pokémon that appeared, down to how they interacted with the modern world around them in the most minute ways. Their designs were faithful to the original but adapted just enough to make them fit in (unlike, say for example completely randomly……Sonic the Hedgehog…..)

It was literally like watching my childhood come to life on the big screen and it was just…it was amazing.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

It really depends. If you love Pokémon, absolutely. It’s so fun and precious and wonderful. But if you have no idea what Pokémon is and the entire thing about Bulbasaurs confused you, I think you can skip it. The downside of this film is that I really don’t think it has anything to offer anyone who’s unfamiliar with the franchise. But that being said, it never promised to and it doesn’t have to. It was made for people that are already fans of the franchise, and for once, it’s an adaptation that is both faithful and completely new. It’s filled with love and that is so nice to see, especially when compared to…The Sun is Also a Star. Or probably like, say, *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*. Although I don’t know for sure on that one since I came in completely unfamiliar with the source material. I just like bringing it up whenever I can.

Overall, I give Detective Pikachu….

4/5 POKÉMON THAT MADE ME CRY!!!!

Seriously. Look at that Bulbasaur. Look at his little green Bulbasaur face.

MINIVIEW 4: ROCKETMAN

MY THOUGHTS:

Let’s establish that I was probably completely biased coming into this film as well because Taron Egerton, first of all, and the love of my life Jamie Bell. That is all.

This movie is incredibly well done. I loved the framing element of Elton John being in AA as we cut back and forth to his life story, and all the music scenes with the dancing and just…it was all super fun.

I do know (because this is just what people do I guess) that a lot of people have compared this to last year’s Bohemian Rhapsody and the general consensus seems to be that Rocketman is somehow better. I genuinely think the only way you can compare these films is to mention that they’re both a form of biopic documenting some iconic musicians, and also both Freddie Mercury and Elton John were in incredibly abusive relationships with their managers at one point (and they both overcame it!). But Bohemian Rhapsody was explicitly shot like a concert whereas Rocketman is explicitly shot like a movie musical, or even a music video. They have completely different points and reasons for the story being told, and one isn’t necessarily “better” than the other one. You’re welcome to like one more than the other, of course, but they’re both good movies. Bohemian Rhapsody was swarmed in controversy because of the director, but a movie is so much more than its director, and if that’s the reason you’re dismissing it, you need to rethink it. Both these films are incredibly well-done and amazing. Elton John himself had good things to say about Rocketman, and Queen themselves worked right alongside everyone for Bohemian Rhapsody.

They’re both good films, everyone. Enjoy them for what they are and form your own opinions of course–but don’t compare these two films and raise one up for the sake of knocking the other one down.

Compare them to Alita: Battle Angel and knock that one down.

(Kidding, sort of…I know lots of people really liked Alita and that is…so great for them)

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

I have a huge weakness for self-love plotlines, so the whole scene near the end where Elton John got to confront everyone in his life including his own past self had me bawling. It’s a beautifully shot scene and it’s such a satisfying way to lead in to the end of the story.

Also, in general all the over-the-top dancing for the musical scenes. Super fun and ridiculous and I loved every second of it.

Also also, Taron Egerton and Jamie Bell. MY SONS.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

I think so. Even if you’re not a huge Elton John fan, you’ve likely heard at least a couple of his songs, and it’s just a good story that’s told in a beautiful and fun way.

Plus like….Taron Egerton……y’all.

(Fun Fact: this is actually the second time Taron Egerton has sung “I’m Still Standing” for a movie! I think this should be a career requirement for him from here on in)

Overall, I give Rocketman

4.5/5 ELTON JOHN SUNGLASSES!!!

These by no means match the most fun ones both in existence and in the film, but it’s a fun taste. Go see the movie to see more of them!!

MINIVIEW 5: MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

MY THOUGHTS:

So I will freely admit that I haven’t read reviews for this one since I wanted to go in blind, and I only saw it…last week? I think? Anyway. But I guess it’s getting bad reviews because I got a YouTube notification that was something like “why MIB: International completely bombed” and I…wasn’t aware that it had?

I went with a couple friends and we were in a BIG theatre that was completely full, and everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. This might be another example of “critics hated it because they have no souls but audiences generally liked it” (wait–do I have to count myself as a critic now? NOOOO DON’T LUMP ME IN WITH THEM).

Here’s the thing: it’s not the original movie. It can’t be. The original is iconic and hilarious and wonderful and nothing can ever be that one. What I appreciate is that this film never tries to be the original, and maybe that’s why people didn’t like it? I dunno. It is completely and fully its own story, with its own characters and own aliens and own conflicts. It’s original and unique and goofy.

It’s an incredibly fun time. All the characters are likable and fun, and I totally thought I knew the twist and I thought they were hinting at it and THEN THEY SWITCHED AROUND THE TWIST ON ME AND IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY SO THAT’S GREAT.

Is it a standout, knockout, over-the-top amazing film? Nah.

But it is well-done and a damn good time.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

There’s a light hint of it, but I am proud to report that there is absolutely no romance between Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth’s characters. Huzzah! More than anything, they have an incredible friendship and an incredible partnership.

The special effects are absolutely incredible.

Tessa Thompson wears a suit just like all the other agents (although she does have some kickass fun combat boots).

Emma Thompson is in charge of the American branch and she’s killin it.

Tessa Thompson’s character stops a fight by using relationships and a prior friendship, but she can also hold her own in a fight and she’s probably a lot more capable than Chris Hemsworth–

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh.

Is this why everyone was mad? Because Tessa Thompson saved Chris Hemsworth multiple times and was probably a better agent than him? Because Emma Thompson is in a position of authority?

Ahhhhhhh it all makes sense now. It was more a Women in Black film than a Men in Black film, and that’s why people are pissed…

I mean no one seemed to be mad about Alita being all kickass and whatever in her movie…is it because her character was presented in a much more sexualized way than the women in MIB: International were? Yeah. Yeah that’s it probably.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Yep. Not only is it a fun time, it’s also pissing off older white guys because it has powerful female characters! So go support it!!

(Also–if you were worried like I was that Kumail Nanjiani’s mini alien character would just be annoying the whole time, rest assured that he was genuinely entertaining and extremely lovable and fun)

Overall, I give Men in Black: International

3.75/5 MIB SUNGLASSES!!

I know I did sunglasses for Rocketman but like…it’s MIB…I couldn’t not…..

MINIVIEW 6: ALADDIN

MY THOUGHTS:

Like many of Disney’s upcoming live-action remakes (Lady and the Tramp??? REALLY???) I was convinced this was completely unnecessary and I was not excited for this…like at all.

I knew I should see it probably, but I kept avoiding it because like…eh. I really love the original animated movie, and this just didn’t look like it offered anything new.

Maybe it’s because I went in with such low expectations, but I’m happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It wasn’t like, absolutely amazing by any means, but I actually kinda liked it.

This is mostly due to Naomi Scott’s Jasmine, but we’ll get to her.

The additions to the story and the costumes are both beautiful, and if anyone can perform the genie instead of Robin Williams, it’s Will Smith. It’s a fun, quirky time and a really lovely film. Not incredible, but definitely good, actually. Again, though, I set the bar real low going into it.

Oddly enough, I think one of the low points of the film was actually Aladdin himself? Not that he wasn’t great, Mena Massoud did an excellent job, but the character himself was just kinda…there. Plus–have you seen Massoud’s natural curly hair?? So much better than what we got in the movie. I think they were trying to make him look like the animated version, but they already changed so much else, just let us have his natural curly hair!!! He is so lovely!!! GIVE US THE CURLS!!!!!

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

NAOMI SCOTT’S PRINCESS JASMINE. HANDS-DOWN.

I mean, she was good during the whole of the story, but when she sang “Speechless” and literally disintegrated all the men in her life telling her what to do?? ICONIC AND AMAZING AND SHE IS EVERYTHING.

Unsurprisingly, the guys who wrote “Speechless” also wrote the songs for The Greatest Showman (YAAAAAAAS) and La La Land (…meh). It’s an incredible standout power ballad that takes Jasmine’s character from decent to incredible. She takes center-stage in the best way, and all the little girls that wanna be Jasmine for Halloween this year? It’s gonna mean something completely different–it’s gonna mean being a princess who will not be silenced and will take power to do good.

Genuinely by the end I didn’t want Jasmine to end up with Aladdin because she doesn’t need him?? Like they can be bros I guess but she quite literally don’t need no man. This film should have been called Jasmine. She 100% stole the show and turned it into something else entirely in the best way possible.

Unlike, say, another movie named after the main girl….*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

Also–lots of fun political commentary if you know where to look. Especially if you wanna make parallels between Jafar and…someone else…

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Actually, yeah. This movie did what a remake should do (if remakes should do anything, that is, since many are unnecessary): it pays homage to what made the original so good while also adding something completely new that both makes this version good, too, while setting it apart as something different.

It’s a good time, and if you were skeptical like I was, you may just find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Also–you have to experience “Speechless.” You don’t watch or listen to “Speechless”–you experience it. No, really.

Overall, I give Aladdin (which should really be called Jasmine)…

3.5/5 HAPPY GENIE LAMPS!!!

Like I’ve said for some past films, it’s good. It’s not great, but it’s good.

TRAILERS WE HAVEN’T DISCUSSED YET:

K, crash course trailers, here we go:

1. Sonic the Hedgehog–release has been delayed because of the public outcry over Sonic’s…unique design. Fingers crossed they treat the animators/designers fairly and let them eat during all of this, but probably not. Jim Carrey as Eggman looks worth the price of admission alone, I love my son.

2. Godzilla: King of the Monsters–I know we have discussed this one, but there’s a new trailer where one of the scientist guys introduces Godzilla by breathily saying “Zillaaaaaaaaa” and it’s just…it’s the strangest and funniest thing ever.

3. Yesterday–I’m going to see this hopefully soon!! I love the premise and I hope it’s really good and fun like it looks. Plus, Lily James ❤

4. Blinded by the Light–uhhhhhhhh a movie by the team that made Bend It Like Beckham???? I AM SO THERE?????

5. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil–I’m curious to see what they do with this one because a sequel is so incredibly unncessary?? This is like if they announced a sequel to Toy Story 3, I mean, all the loose ends were tied up in a perfect way and it’s so good the way it is, what could you possibly–…oh, wait.

6. Crawl–Yeahhhh this is a big nope from me. This is like Anxiety: The Movie, and I’m not about that life. I barely survived watching Pet Sematary alone you guys, how on earth do you expect me to do survival-crocodile-jumpscare movie?? I do really like how the music for the trailer is all made by like, rhythmic water drips and flashlight-winding. That’s kind of fun.

7. Child’s Play–WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?? Really though, it looks like they updated the idea so that Evil Doll Chucky is connected to a sort of smart-home system, so it’s like…they update the horror story so it’s relevant to right now?? Fascinating. Also, absolutely horrifying. I don’t care how much I love you Mark Hamill, I refuse.

8. Where’d You Go, Bernadette–This is probably better than the trailers make it seem (also, that last trailer gives away?? Everything??). I love me some Cate Blanchett, and this just looks like a really delightful and fun heartwarming story about family or whatever.

9. Angel Has Fallen–I think this is the one where the president is attacked and the guy who saves him is under arrest for some reason and there were a lot of explosions?? I guess this is a sequel, and I honestly have no desire to see either one of these.

10. The Art of Racing in the Rain–YO CATCH ME CRYING IN THE THEATER WHEN THIS MOVIE COMES OUT, THIS BOOK IS SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND I AM SO READY TO SOB ABOUT A DOG WHO LOVES RACE CARS ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

11. Judy–I don’t have strong feelings about this one, but I’m sure it’s another well-made biopic about an icon and all that. I’ll probably see it.

12. The Kitchen–this looks like it could be really good and fun (but like, also violent) and I think I’ll try to see it.

13. Terminator: Dark Fate–mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no.

14. Maiden–This looks absolutely fascinating. I’m all about stories of women who blazed the trail in a male-dominated field for other women. Also like–boats!!

OKAY. That should be everything so we’re all caught up now. I think I’m gonna try to see Toy Story 4 this afternoon, or possibly tomorrow, and then that review WILL BE UP BY THE END OF THE WEEK, I SWEAR. REALLY I DO.

If these films are still playing where you are, check them out! I don’t regret seeing any of them, and they’re all enjoyable in their own way (particularly Booksmart).

Missing Link REVIEW

So yesterday, I took myself to the movies and saw Missing Link, the new film from Laika.

If you’re unaware, Laika is a studio that specializes in stop-motion epics that are full of heart and laughs and they generally always make me cry (in a good way), so there’s that. You’ve probably heard of them, they’re the minds behind Coraline, The Boxtrolls, ParaNorman, and Kubo and the Two Strings.

(ParaNorman, by the by, is one of my all-time favorite movies and you can definitely expect a post about it around Halloween because y’all.)

While I feel like I saw advertising for Kubo EVERYWHERE prior to its release, I honestly had no idea Missing Link was even a thing until about a month ago, maybe. I truly didn’t know what to expect, except that it would have amazing visuals and hopefully other good things as well.

I was not entirely disappointed!

THE PLOT

The movie starts by following renowned classy adventurer Sir Lionel Frost (Hugh Jackman) and his less-than-enthusiastic valet Mr. Lint (David Walliams) on an epic quest: to get photographic evidence of none other than the Loch Ness Monster. It seems far-fetched at first, but after a unique move by Frost to broadcast bagpipes underwater, the monster appears! It takes some doing to get the creature posed (poor Mr. Lint is tasked with holding on to the rope), and once the picture is taken, Nessie grabs Mr. Lint in her mouth and dives underwater with him.

“Huh. A carnivore.” Frost says before diving in to rescue his poor valet. Frost does save him, but Nessie whacks their boat in retaliation, destroying the camera and Frost’s proof all in one fell swoop. Mr. Lint quits shortly after, proclaiming “I’m a human being, I can’t take this anymore, you’re INSANE, no wonder everyone leaves you!” Ouch. So, Frost is alone again, and it’s here that he stumbles across a letter written to him about undeniable proof of Bigfoot himself. Filled with new energy, Frost crashes the party of the “League of Adventurers” or whatever to announce his plans to get proof of Bigfoot so they’ll finally accept him into the society. Lord Piggot-Dunceby (Stephen Fry), the head of the society and all around Not Nice Person, strikes a wager with Frost: if he brings back proof, he’ll be let into the society and respected. If he doesn’t, he never bothers them again.

Dunceby is convinced that Frost will fail, but not enough to not take some precautions of his own–he hires someone to kill Frost so any evidence he may or may not find will still never come to light and he’ll never have to deal with Frost again.

Frost, meanwhile, is determined and heads to the address specified in the letter. What he finds, however, is Bigfoot, the missing link himself (Zach Galifianakis). He’s mostly self-educated since he scares everyone off, and wrote to Frost because he hopes Frost will take him to the Himalayas to be with the Yetis, his cousins. He’s the only one of his kind, and he’s lonely, so he figures if he can be with his cousins, he won’t be so lonely anymore.

In exchange, Bigfoot promises to give Frost whatever proof he needs for the society. The deal is struck, and the bizarre duo head off on their adventure. Along the way, they must deal with Dunceby’s hitman, Willard Stenk (Timothy Olyphant), Frost’s old flame Adelina Fortnight (Zoe Saldana), and the hard truth that maybe seeking out family in the wrong people is something many of us are all too good at.

THE REVIEW

I admittedly went into this with very high expectations because, again, I love Laika.

What I got was a very good, very beautiful movie. It’s not my favorite Laika film (nothing beats ParaNorman, nothinggggggg) by any means, but it’s a darn good movie and a really fun one to watch.

I feel like this film, more than some others from Laika, had a lot more “kid humor” in it. Potty humor especially abounds, which is, well, a choice. It’s not necessary for the film (especially when they have really clever jokes about chickens…more on that later) as there are plenty of other ways to establish Mr. Link’s naivety, but I digress.

I feel like that element is really what takes me out of the story more than anything else. There’s also the point that this is a very short film, running about 85 minutes in total, and there’s a lot they have to cram in plot-wise. I refuse to complain about the runtime, however, because it’s stop-motion and the dedication to even get 85 minutes is astonishing to me. So like. Yeah.

Plus like…I’m not the target audience for this film. I may love Laika with all my heart, but this is still a kids’ movie, and kids think that stuff is hilarious. So fine.

All that aside, this is a great movie. It’s so charming and lovable and filled with really interesting political parallels. Just…we’ll get there.

So what is it that makes this movie such a delight? Let’s follow in the big footsteps of Laika’s new family adventure and figure that out.

…that was a stretch for a metaphor, I admit. MOVING ON.

Spoiler warning now in effect!!

THE MUSIC

The music, like the movie as a whole, is charming.

There are a couple musical moments that definitely stood out: “Westward Ho” is a fun track that plays during the montage of Frost traveling to America to find the sender of the letter. “Forest Primeval” is probably my favorite track, and plays when Frost first sees Mr. Link and chases him through the forest. It’s fun and mystical and since it plays before we know his personality, it helps paint the mystery around Mr. Link as Frost desperately tries to catch him. “Bar Brawl” is fun and ridiculous, just like the scene it accompanies. It starts out slow and otherwise unassuming, and then once the fighting kicks up and guys are punching each other for no reason, the instruments really get going and it’s just ridiculous.

Overall, while the music is good, it doesn’t really take center stage at any point during the film, and it doesn’t really need to. It’s good, but it doesn’t take over.

Also, the end credits song “Do-Dilly-Do (A Friend Like You)” is ADORABLE. Please listen to it if you need to feel happy, it should do the trick. And it’s been stuck in my head all day and I can’t even complain about it.

Also, fun fact, the composer is Carter Burwell, who also did the music for the Twilight series, Three Billboards, and A Knight’s Tale. So. The more you know.

THE CHARACTERS

Since characters in media mean a lot to me and I won’t get invested if I don’t care about them *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*, a big reason Laika is so dear to my heart is that they create such good characters. But why?

Despite their incredibly stylized appearances, Laika characters feel like real people. None of the characters in any of their movies are perfect–they’re all flawed in different ways, and their journey in the film usually ties into confronting those flaws and how they affect the other people in their lives. Coraline was so convinced her mother didn’t love her that she ended up traveling to an alternate world where her Other Mother loved her a little too much. Norman was so afraid of and sick of being bullied for his unique power with ghosts that he ignored his destiny so long he almost destroyed the world. Kubo was a scared little kid who just wanted a normal family that he didn’t stop to see the found family he’d created (yeah and then the twist is that they were actually his parents all along, which…ehhhhhh anyway). I would discuss The Boxtrolls, but I haven’t actually seen it since it was in theaters and I don’t remember enough of it to comment. This “dealing with our flaws” thing is something we all have to do at some point, so it’s refreshing to see it have to happen to these cartoon characters in their fantastical worlds, too.

This whole “confronting flaws that affect other people in my life” trope is probably the most prevalent in Missing Link. Lionel Frost is, despite being the guy we follow the entire film while the other characters only come in later, obnoxious. He just is. He’s full of himself, convinced he can do no wrong, and he’s incredibly selfish. He plays it off by being suave and “adventure-savvy,” but he doesn’t realize how much his selfishness affects others. He is only able to find a real happy ending when he starts actually thinking of and caring for others, even if it costs him his precious reputation. Even then, it’s hinted that he’s still not totally learned his lesson, but he’s getting there: Mr. Link is wondering what he’s going to do now that his plan for a home has fallen through, and Frost says “well I’m in the market for a new valet!” And Adelina has to elbow him to remind him to say “a new partner.”

Despite this being probably the most like a typical kids’ film Laika has ever made, it’s the first film to follow an adult protagonist compared to a kid. While Frost’s problems are not kid problems, his journey is still a valuable lesson to kids about making sure you put effort into relationships with people who want you for exactly who you are, not for who you’re not.

Frost’s journey is, of course, mirrored with Mr. Link’s/Susan’s.

(One of my favorite scenes in the film is when Frost is asking Mr. Link to choose his own name, maybe based off of someone who really touched his heart and his life in a positive way. Link goes off about this one prospector who came and didn’t run off scared the second they saw him, and how kind they were. Frost enthusiastically declares that yes! That prospector’s name should be his name! What was the name? And Link smiles and says “Susan.” Frost is initially like “but wait that’s a girl’s name…you know what? It suits you. Susan it is.” Which like??? LOOK AT LAIKA SMASHING GENDERING AROUND NAMES. YOU GO, LAIKA. And for the rest of the review, Mr. Link is now Susan, because that’s his name.)

Susan is just as alone as Frost is, but unlike Frost, Susan realizes this. He doesn’t want to be alone anymore, and called in Frost specifically so that he could find others like him, his kind, his family. Susan is awkward, being self-taught with language, so he doesn’t understand sarcasm or specific sayings. For example, when they’re trying to break into Adelina’s house, Frost hands Susan a grappling hook attached to a rope so that they can climb over the wall. Frost tells him to “throw it over,” and Susan does just that: he throws the hook and the rope in its entirety over the wall. Frost, annoyed, holds out his bag with the rest of his tools and says “oh great, well why don’t you just throw this over the wall, too?” And Susan does, of course. Because he was told to.

While Frost has been educated in “polite society” and understands all of this, Susan does not, and much of the character’s charm and humor comes from this. Susan is like a child in many ways, just wanting to belong and not understanding why people do the things they do.

Frost initially separates himself as much as possible from Susan, not wanting to be associated with him beyond bringing back proof to Dunceby, but Adelina is the one who points out how similar and utterly alone the two characters are. This realization being spelled out for both Frost and the audience is why the ending of the film, where the two characters choose to stay together and be their own family, is so heartwarming and satisfying.

Adelina as a character is just…she’s a spitfire. She’s likable instantly because she doesn’t swoon over Frost like he expects, she’s not afraid to be angry and fight, but she’s also not afraid to be gentle and emotional when it’s called for. She’s a fully rounded-out female character, which is still a rarity in today’s media, as I’ve discussed in both my Alita: Battle Angel review and my Captain Marvel review.

While it’s established that Adelina and Frost have a romantic history, it doesn’t become the sole reason Adelina joins their adventure. She’s been cooped up at home since her husband’s death, and she wants to get out. She flirts with Frost as he gradually becomes a better person, but ultimately, she doesn’t choose to stay with him. She says he’s a great man, now, but she deserves greater. It’s so refreshing to see these two characters acknowledge a past flame between them that clearly caused them both some pain, heal through that, and then ultimately move on. Frost may have wanted her to stay, but he doesn’t ask her to. He lets her go because, again, he’s learning to not be so selfish anymore.

The villains are also one of my favorite parts of any Laika film. Like the heroes, they’re not perfect characters, and they always have some reason behind why they do what they do. Our main villain is Lord Piggot-Dunceby, the mastermind behind the plan to thwart Frost’s expedition and the leader of the Society for Great Men or whatever. Both he and his assistant guy very clearly state that they don’t like Frost, he’s weird, and they aren’t afraid to stoop to new lows to get rid of him. Dunceby complains that all these young people are trying to change the world that he knows, and he doesn’t like it. Electricity. Suffrage. All ridiculous things that he didn’t grow up with, so he doesn’t understand them and doesn’t like them, doesn’t want to learn to understand or like them, so he doesn’t think they’re necessary. In a way, he’s just as selfish as Frost, and in him, we see what happens to someone who never learns to outgrow that selfishness.

The other constant villain is the hitman, Stenk. Stenk is a mean little weasel of a man who resorts to whatever means necessary to get what he wants. Be this in the form of sneaking around to listen in on Frost’s plans, threatening Adelina to get Frost to give up, inciting a mob mentality on the ship so they attack Susan (who, it’s established early on, doesn’t actually like fighting and wishes people weren’t so scared of him), the list goes on and on. Like Dunceby, Stenk believes that things should be done the way they always have been done, and like Frost, he wants fame attached to his name. Stenk initially wants to kill off Frost so he can take credit for the Bigfoot discovery, and it’s that notion that makes Frost start the bar fight with him. If Dunceby is the ultimate example of Frost’s selfishness, Stenk is the ultimate example of Frost’s journey for power and fame. Stenk, like Frost, has no real family or friends and is ultimately alone. He’s convinced that having his name be known and being famous will fix all his problems, but his death at the end of the film ultimately affects…no one. He dies alone, and as we’ll discuss a little later, he chooses to. Stenk and Dunceby are important foils for Frost, because by the end of the movie, Frost sees how easy it is to become them, and he realizes that he doesn’t want to.

Also Emma Thompson makes an appearance as a Yeti elder once they reach the Himalayas and she’s great. We’ll get to the Yetis in a moment.

THE ART

Like all Laika films, Missing Link is beautiful to watch. Someone on tumblr mentioned that it’s probably Laika’s prettiest film to date, and I would definitely agree. While every Laika film does a great job at visual world-building, they’ve absolutely upped the ante with every film, and Missing Link is definitely a crowning achievement. They built different sets to show the bustling streets of London, the forests and towns of early North America, the ocean during a storm, the beautiful, lush scenery of India, and the towering mountains of the Himalayas. Every shot of scenery is done with the utmost care and you can absolutely tell. There’s even a shot during the end credits where they show the workers building the India set as the elephant puppet is controlled and walking around–you’re able to get just a sense of how much work goes into these movies, even in just a short, seconds-long clip, and it’s just astounding.

For the actual character puppets, Laika uses 3D printers to create every single facial expression the characters use, and they swap out each face on the puppet for each frame as needed. I was able to see some of the different printed faces used in Coraline at the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco, and wow. I highly recommend looking up behind the scenes stuff for Laika films, because it just makes watching the movies a whole new experience and you appreciate everything so much more.

The colors used in the film are bright and cheerful, especially when Frost first sets out on his Bigfoot expedition. The character designs are stylized and fun, especially Susan himself, who is just the embodiment of the word “lovable.”

I can’t truly do the visuals of the film justice through words, you really have to see it to experience it all and fully grasp what I mean. It’s a very pretty movie. It really is, but calling it that just doesn’t do it justice.

THE TWIST/THE END

While Missing Link does have a twist of sorts, it’s not really on the same narrative-changing scale as say, ParaNorman.

Our bedraggled travelers have finally reached their destination, populated by Yetis, Susan’s own kind! They’re greeted by a Yeti Elder, who asks why they have come. Frost and the Elder actually have an interesting back-and-forth, where Frost promises they are not there to destroy anything the Yetis have built. Susan says he just wants to be with his family.

The Elder looks at Susan and says “ah…yes…our…cousin. The redneck.” She takes the three outside to a hidden valley in the snow-covered mountains, which she says has remained untouched and pure and always should. Our protagonists swear they’re not here to change that, but the Elder doesn’t believe them. (A great funny moment is when Frost says “we found it! Shangri-La!” And the Elder says “it has many names. We call it *unintelligible roaring noise*. It means “Keep Out, We Hate You.”)

She has them thrown into “The Inescapable Pit of Misery and Disappointment,” and boy, you can just tell how disappointed Susan is at being thrown away to rot by those who should love and accept him because they’re family.

We expect the Yetis to be different, to be welcoming to Susan, whom we’ve come to love and adore over the course of the film…but the Yetis are exact mirrors of the Society of Cool Guys back in London that Frost is obsessed with. Adelina points out that both Frost and Susan have been so busy desperately trying to prove themselves to people who don’t even want them, they don’t notice how alike they both are. She calls “the Great Lionel Frost” a myth, just like the monsters he chases, because he isn’t a great man. He isn’t even a good one.

Something about this strikes a chord in Frost, and he tells Susan to get up, because he’s going to fulfill his end of the bargain: he’s going to take Susan to where he belongs.

*cue EVERYONE CRYING but mostly me, probably*

The group manages to escape the Pit and evade the Yetis (while the Elder yells “quick! The people we don’t want here are escaping!!”) only to be stopped on the ice bridge by none other than Dunceby and Stenk (and the assistant guy whose name I completely forgot). Dunceby, determined to make sure Frost’s discovery never sees the light of day so he can’t outshine him, breaks the ice bridge, yelling out what would have once been Frost’s greatest nightmare and probably still is Dunceby’s: “no one will remember your name!”

It’s not Frost’s greatest fear anymore, though. His greatest fear now is losing the ones he’s come to care so much about, so they run. Dunceby, so caught up in his fury and obsession, doesn’t realize what he’s done until it’s too late, and he falls as the bridge breaks.

The whole thing is falling apart, now, as the characters desperately try to outrun it. The assistant guy is unable to and also ends up falling to his death. Then it’s just Frost, Adelina, and Susan, all tied together with a rope and hanging on for dear life. Stenk is safe, and is all set to drop the heroes to their doom. Frost says that he doesn’t have to, Dunceby is gone, now! But Stenk says that it isn’t about the paycheck anymore, he just genuinely hates Frost at this point and wants him gone, especially by his hand.

In the ensuing confrontation, our heroes manage to work together to safely reach the top of the cliff, while Stenk, so determined to off Frost, also falls into the rocks below.

Normally, in Laika films, the villains are developed in such a way that we want to see them be redeemed–they’re fully-formed characters just as much as the protagonists are, so there has to be a chance, right?

The difference here is that even if there is a chance for these three characters, they don’t want to change. They’re so caught up in their hatred and fear of Frost changing things and overshadowing them that their deaths serve as a sort of metaphor: they let their negativity rule their lives so much that it overpowered them and caused their ultimate demise. While Frost serves as a reminder that it’s so, so easy to become like those characters, it’s also just as easy to not become like them.

There’s a fascinating scene earlier in the film where Dunceby learns that Frost has evaded Stenk yet again and still lives. Dunceby throws a literal temper tantrum, in public, in front of all these people, and then proclaims that Frost’s existence is the “destruction of civilized society!!”

…Really?

It’s fitting, then, that he causes his own death by destroying something beautiful–an ice bridge that leads to Shangri-La itself.

While the assistant guy seems a little unsure of some of Dunceby’s actions, he ultimately stands by him and supports Dunceby’s decision to send a literal hitman after the guy. He dies trying to escape the results of Dunceby’s actions, and he’s unable to. While the assistant guy didn’t call any of the shots on his own, he certainly didn’t make any effort to stop Dunceby, and it caught up with him later.

Stenk is offered a chance by Frost. Frost says that Dunceby is gone, this doesn’t matter anymore! But Stenk is so obsessed with the principal of the thing, he puts his revenge ahead of anything else, his belief that Frost is still the bad guy…and it costs him dearly.

Now I don’t know how intentional any kind of political metaphor is in this movie, but I’m just saying…it’s interesting that all the villains work for a “Society of Great and Awesome Men” who believe that “men shape the world!” (“But I’ve learned that the world shapes us!” Frost says in response to this at the end) and that any kind of opposition to this way of life is a threat to everything they hold dear. They’re all old white guys. I’m just saying.

Dunceby even yells at Frost “you’ve aligned yourself with apes and women!” As if that’s an insult. Both the audience and Frost, by this point, have learned that both Susan and Adelina are so much more than that. But Dunceby refuses to see that because it goes against what he believes and it threatens his power.

There’s so much more we can talk about–how easily Stenk tries to stir up a mob on the ship by pointing at Susan carrying Adelina (he just rescued her) and yelling “look! A monster! And he’s got a defenseless girl!” Susan responds to this by saying “monster?” While Adelina says “DEFENSELESS??”

Or how Dunceby is introduced as a character by telling some long, drawn-out tale about his conquests and by waving a gun around.

Or how Dunceby tells Frost that the Society is renowned for traveling the world and “conquering and rescuing the savages” they come across.

Or how easily all the guys in the bar started fighting once just one person starts fighting, but Susan makes a face and doesn’t want to–who’s supposed to be the civilized one, again?

Or how Frost & Co. made a point of respecting Gamu the elder and asking for her help to find Shangri-La, whereas Dunceby & Co. made a point of threatening her, and when that didn’t work, threatening her baby grandson so they could get information out of her.

I’M JUST. SAYING.

FAVORITE MOMENT

I absolutely adored that entire opening sequence with the Loch Ness monster, it was just so fun and quirky. But I also totally loved the entire “dinner with Gamu” scene and all the jokes about the chicken (the chicken that we don’t talk about, of course). While my favorite moments are probably the funny ones because I think they’re executed so well, I also just enjoyed (of course) the visuals for the movie as a whole.

“OOF” MOMENT

Pretty much anything that was like, potty humor. It’s just not my cup of tea, and while I don’t think it ruined the movie by any means, it did distract at times. A lot of it was framed around Susan’s ignorance and general “not knowing how things work” and all that, which like, at least it makes sense, and one or two jokes would have been fine and still fit the character and narrative, but I just felt like there was too much of it. Again, though, I’m not the target audience, and I get it. I think it’s unfortunate, but I get it.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Yes.

Look, my bias for Laika aside, this is a very good movie. It’s charming, it’s witty, it’s uplifting, and if you enjoy possibly unintentional but definitely can be pointed out political commentary that ends in a satisfying way, this movie is for you.

I think it’s so important to support studios like Laika. They put out consistently good films, and they work damn hard on them. There is unbelievable love and care put into every inch of their movies, and it’s not just a movie when they’re done with it: it’s a piece of art.

It’s not my favorite Laika film, it’s not the best movie I’ve ever scene, but it’s damn good and just a lot of fun. And again, we want to support studios like Laika and all the work they do.

Actually pretty much any studio putting out good animated films and isn’t Disney.

Nothing against Disney, just…well, okay, kind of something against Disney. They run the world and maybe like they shouldn’t.

Animated movies don’t get nearly the love and attention that they should because they’re animated, and it’s viewed as just a kids’ medium that can’t carry the emotional weight other films do. Studios like Laika prove that that simply isn’t the case. Animation can be just as breathtaking as live-action, just as powerful, and just as emotional.

Studios like Laika and Cartoon Saloon (The Secret of Kells, The Song of the Sea, The Breadwinner) are proving that animation is a great medium for great stories, and I think we should all support them in that.

Overall, I give Missing Link

4/5 SASQUATCHES!!!

Look, they’re happy to see you!

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Pretty much everything was a repeat and also showed before Dumbo, with one exception…

They’re making an animated movie of The Addams Family and it looks like it might actually be really, really good.

Other than that, same old, same old.

So that about does it for this review!

If you love Laika like I do, if you want to take your kids to a movie that won’t make you want to die a little inside, if you love a good story with good characters, if you just need an evening to relax and escape to another world where everything turns out happy, if you love found family stories, I highly recommend you take yourself to the movies and see Missing Link.

…we won’t get into how a bunch of stop-motion puppets have more facial expressions than a certain character in Dumbo…I swear……

………….but they totally do.

How to Train Your Dragon: the Hidden World REVIEW

This poster is deceitfully charming and does not prepare you for all the crying

So like…a couple weeks ago (almost a month ago…wow…), I took myself (and the parents) to the movies to see How to Train Your Dragon: the Hidden World!

I know what you’re thinking: “wait didn’t that movie come out like…ages ago why are you like this” to which I say, until I get paid to write these things, occasionally my actual job will take priority and will run My Entire Life.

Anyway, if for some reason you haven’t seen this yet and are still thinking about it (like I am) and want to know my thoughts, HERE YA GO.

I cried. A Lot.

Remember when animated movies weren’t super pretty and astounding and NOW

THE PLOT

Sometime nearby before the second movie, Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) & Co. (Astrid (America Ferrera), Snotlout (Jonah Hill), Ruffnut (Kristen Wiig), Tuffnut (Justin Rupple), Fishlegs (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), and Valka (Cate Blanchett)) are chasing down Vikings who capture dragons so they can free them and take them back to Berk. This raid we see goes well-ish, although there’s one dragon who purposely hides herself so she doesn’t get freed (it’s unclear why she does this, I mean she has this ability, but wouldn’t she want to be free? It’s possible she’s just real wary of humans, and after we meet Grimmel (F. Murray Abraham), it’s understandable why). One of the Vikings on the ship makes an Angry Face as the group flies off, so we know that’s gonna come back to bite them. Hiccup introduces the new dragon recruits to Berk, which has become a paradise for dragons and humans alike (sort of). Toothless is still the Alpha Dragon (as we saw from the last movie) and sort of keeps all the other dragons in line. Gobber (Craig Ferguson) complains to Hiccup that he can’t keep bringing dragons back here because it makes them real vulnerable to attacks and also it’s just real crowded and dragons keep bathing in the soup. He also says that it’s about time Hiccup and Astrid got married, to which there’s a lot of awkward fanfare.

We catch up with the Angry Face Viking from earlier, who apparently works with this big Viking council that we’re only just now learning exists, and they’re all real bitter that Berk has become so peace-and-dragon-loving because they keep releasing the dragons they unfairly capture and that’s just Rude. This is where we meet Grimmel, the main villain. He’s real gaunt and evil-looking, and has these two scorpion-dragons that chillax with him. He doesn’t really care about everyone else’s problems with Berk and Hiccup as chief until they mention that Hiccup’s dragon is a Night Fury. I guess Grimmel is the reason we don’t see any other Night Furies-he killed ‘em all. He takes this pretty personally and vows to destroy Toothless and Hiccup and all of Berk or whatever, and he plans to use the dragon from earlier (the one who hid and didn’t go with the other dragons being freed) to lure Toothless into a trap.

Hiccup, meanwhile, has a lot of flashbacks to when he was a kid (which means we get to see Stoick (Gerard Butler!) again!!). In a very The Lion King moment, Stoick holds a young Hiccup in his arms as he looks out at the sunrise and talks about how one day, Hiccup will be chief of all of this. He also talks about something called “the Hidden World” which is a brand new plot device and apparently where all dragons come from/live/hide/something, it’s not really explained (remember how in the first movie, the dragon lair they found was supposed to be the main source of dragons? Now it’s the Hidden World). Hiccup decides that this Hidden World is their best chance, and that the way to fix everything is to straight up move Berk to the Hidden World, where humans and dragons can live secretly in peace.

Everyone else thinks this is crazy, but they go along with it (albeit kinda unwillingly) because Hiccup is the chief. Grimmel, however, is hot on their tail (PUN INTENDED) at every move, and he always seems to be three steps ahead of them. He introduces Toothless to the Light Fury (which Hiccup calls a “Bright Fury” at first which like I thought that was pretty good, that could’ve stuck, c’mon), and then the rest of the film is a tense back-and-forth between Hiccup, Grimmel, and the dragons these Vikings have begun to call friends.

Determination.jpg

THE REVIEW

I am full of emotions, y’all.

I’m part of a group of people that really kinda grew up with this franchise and these characters (the first movie came out when I was 13) so there’s something especially bittersweet here for me. It reminds me of when the last Harry Potter book came out, and then when the last movie came out…it feels a little like the ending of an era. Now, I realize that it doesn’t necessarily mean the end; it is Hollywood, after all! The Harry Potter universe is giving us Fantastic Beasts currently, and there’s every chance that more dragon movies will be made about the next generation, or even other characters.

Still, though, there’s nothing quite like the book closing on the original storyline.

I’m always skeptical about sequels, especially when it comes to a movie I love, because sometimes I feel they’re so unnecessary and just serve as a cash-grab for the company. I honestly would have been perfectly fine with just the first How to Train Your Dragon, except that both sequels do such a beautiful job with expanding the world and the characters (sometimes it kills them, but We Don’t Talk About That).

Still, as good as both How to Train Your Dragon 2 and The Hidden World are, they’re not the first movie. The first movie will always be one of my favorite movies ever, and at least in my opinion, the two sequels never quite live up to it. Are they still amazing? ABSOLUTELY. I also know that I’m alone in thinking the first movie is better than the second (and third). Maybe I’m just bitter about it all ending; it’s hard to watch characters you love grow up and change, and make hard decisions in their world that end up affecting everything.

The point is, this is a great movie and a great end to a great series. I don’t think it’s quite as good as the first movie, but it’s still absolutely incredible.

Plus, crying. Lots of crying. So much crying.

I’m still crying.

So without further ado, let’s soar into what exactly makes this movie so incredible, and an excellent send-off to our favorite dork and his dragon.

Spoiler warning now in effect!!

LOOK EVERYTHING IS FINE AND HAPPY AND SHINY AND NOTHING WILL GO WRONG EVER AT ALL I SWEAR

THE MUSIC

Y’ALL.

So full disclosure, John Powell is one of my favorite composers, and the original How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack is definitely one of my favorites. It was the first soundtrack album I bought (kind of a moot point now that I use Spotify for everything, but back in high school it MEANT SOMETHING), I listen to it constantly even now, I recommended we play the music in high school band…I have a very strong connection to the original soundtrack, basically, if you couldn’t tell.

That is why every time the original theme started playing, I was basically already crying. It’s like when they used Hedwig’s theme in the last Harry Potter movie when sad things were happening-they used our own nostalgia against us!

And actually, it’s a genius move, no complaints here. Lots of tears, maybe, but no complaints!

There were lots of new things in the soundtrack that separated the story from its predecessors without taking anything away from it, in my opinion. It was adventurous and emotional and made me want a dragon friend to fly around on. That could be said of the whole movie series, really.

By far my favorite character detail aside from their frog faces is that their arms go out real wide and then they suddenly have tiny little claw hands LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM

THE CHARACTERS

Again, it’s How to Train Your Dragon, so the characters are all lovable and great (except for the villain, of course, and we’ll get to him).

Hiccup has always been a fascinating lead-he’s not the typical Viking we all think of, and he remains that way throughout the series. He believes in loving and rescuing the dragons above all else, and he really only engages in combat if he feels he has to (or if someone dear to him has been threatened or something). But what’s interesting about Hiccup in this film is that we get to see him truly struggling to fill his father’s shoes as the leader. We see him truly dealing with his father’s absence, shown particularly in flashbacks with his dad when he was super small. His big conflict in the film is that he knows he’s not his father, but he truly doesn’t know who he is besides the guy who saves dragons. So when he’s faced with the idea of losing Toothless, it’s a real roadblock for him. Astrid has a great conversation about who he is without Toothless-still a whole person. Hiccup has dealt with a lot of loss in his life-first his mom, then he found Toothless. Then he found his mom again, but lost his dad. Now he’s faced with losing Toothless, and there’s no real replacement for him. His mom is here again, but she’s been there at this point. Astrid is there, but again, she’s been there as well. There’s no one new Hiccup can focus on to help him get past the pain of loss…or is there? Hiccup’s arc in this film is all about him finding himself. He is the new person he has to love and accept to help him get over and deal with losing Toothless. I’m a strong believer in self-love (and I struggle a lot with it myself) so this was an incredibly personal part of the movie for me.

I would argue that none of the other characters have quite the arc that Hiccup has-none of them are growing and changing in quite the way that he is. Snotlout is in love with Hiccup’s mom for some…reason…Ruffnut and Tuffnut are delightful little dorks as always (Ruff’s capture and Tuff’s beard are absolutely two of my favorite plot points), Gobber is still the supportive gruff guy we all know and love, Fishlegs has a little baby dragon the whole time and it’s super cute (DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT AT THE END HE MADE HIMSELF A LITTLE STUFFED VERSION OF THE BABY DRAGON HE GAVE UP BECAUSE EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT I CRY SOME MORE)…and of course, there’s Astrid. Astrid has always been a great character in my opinion, and her relationship with Hiccup has always been incredible to watch.

One of my favorite elements of the series is that Hiccup and Astrid never have any crazy relationship drama? We see how much they are friends as much as they are lovers, and it’s such a good, positive relationship model. When they’re married at the end, it’s made very clear they are leading Berk as equals. Would it have been great to get a little more individual development for Astrid? Yeah, of course. But their relationship isn’t the centerpiece for the films, nor should it be. How to Train Your Dragon has always, always been about friendship, especially when it comes to humans and nature.

Before we go forth to discuss the dragon characters, I have to touch on our main baddie, Grimmel. He’s…he’s a jerk you guys. And in a weirdly uncharacteristic move for this franchise, he’s not redeemable. The past films have always had some kind of arc for the “villain” so that we learn about them and they are allowed to grow and change. Grimmel is not treated the same way…his obsession with controlling and wiping out the dragons is never fully explained. He is filled with pure hatred for these creatures, and we never really learn why. To some degree it makes him all the more unnerving-it’s like he hates just for the sake of feeling hatred. He embraces anger and revenge, and he loves to torture both dragons and humans alike. He’s constantly outsmarting our heroes, and we find out that he’s controlling his scorpion dragons by brainwashing them with their own venom. He’s…he is not nice, fam. I guess he’s one of my pet peeves in the film, because while I appreciate how delightfully evil he is, it’s weird that we never truly learn that much about him. Even the other village leaders follow him purely because he’s a lil’ scary. What is his DEAL, y’all???

So since we can’t really touch on Grimmel all that much purely because the movie doesn’t really let us, that brings us to some of the dragon characters. Particularly, Toothless and the Light Fury (does she have a name? Sparkles? Can it be Sparkles? She’s real glittery you guys).

HAHAHA I LOVE CRYING

THE FRIENDSHIP AND GROWING UP

Like I mentioned above, the How to Train Your Dragon series is about friendship above all else. It starts with an outcast kid finding kinship with a lonely force of nature. Hiccup finds purpose in Toothless just as much as companionship, and Toothless finds love and loyalty in Hiccup just as much as purpose.

I don’t think there’s anything more powerful than a good story about companionship between humans and animals. It’s why stories involving “the boy and his dog” or “the girl and her horse” are so iconic. Many of us know that we humans are social creatures, but many of us also feel that we generally kinda suck at connecting with other humans. We know we can’t survive alone and we’re not supposed to, but damn it, it’s hard! That’s why we’re drawn to stories where the awkward outcast finds a powerful, social relationship with an animal. It’s made more powerful because the bond is often formed without words.

We all want relationships like that, so it’s nice when we get to see or hear about a relationship like that.

What I love about the How to Train Your Dragon series is that it gives us that relationship, but it also shows us what happens to it over time. After all, we all know that theoretically the story continues past the first “death scare that actually makes the bond stronger and makes the grumpy dad believe in the power of love” or the “very important race that doesn’t need to be won but actually yes it does because that means you can keep your horse because it clearly only listens to you also here’s some flowers and like a trophy I guess.”

Hiccup and Toothless are tested in the first movie when they’re learning about each other, when Stoick separates them, when Toothless dives into the fire to save Hiccup (well, most of him). Their bond is strengthened when Hiccup loses his leg because now they’re both physically “broken.” They’re tested in the second movie when they face a new foe, when Toothless loses control and costs Hiccup his dad, when Hiccup yells at him to leave for that, and then later when Hiccup apologizes and begs for his best friend to come back.

In some ways, the series set us up for a hard fall with the third film, because we believed up to this point that their friendship could and would stand against anything. We saw it stand up against impossible odds, didn’t we? What could possible change that?

COLD, HARD REALITY, OF COURSE.

Here’s the facts, y’all. Toothless, much as he seems to share a human bond with Hiccup, is an animal. He’s a part of nature. He’s gone his whole life being the only one of his kind, so as much as he loves Hiccup and all his other dragon friends, he’s lonely. Like us humans, he craves that social relationship with others of his kind.

So of course when he meets the Light Fury, he desperately wants to be with her.

Now I don’t think Toothless, when Hiccup initially lets him go after the Light Fury, was actually planning on staying away forever. I think it would be hard for him to communicate that to Hiccup, necessarily, but I also think he trusts Hiccup to know how much he wants to be with the Light Fury. Hiccup, of course, is a human and therefore plagued with anxiety, so this doesn’t quite work out, and Toothless is a lil’ bitter about that.

Toothless has a deep, inner need to be with the Light Fury and the other dragons-he wants to be with her and the other dragons. We see most of the movie from Hiccup’s point of view, so all we are really allowed to relate to is Hiccup’s anxiety about Toothless’s departure. But it’s meant to be that way-we are like Hiccup, we will always relate to him more, so therefore we will always want him to be with Toothless. That’s how it’s always been, right?

The reality, however, is different. Because of the dragons’ presence, Berk is a target. Because of Stoick’s death, Hiccup is the leader and has to make hard decisions. Because of how humans are, dragons are not safe. Because, because, because…

And isn’t that how it is in reality?

As much as this is a fantasy series, it does bring in some things that are just as real as what we all have to deal with at some point; but it’s never been the forefront of the series as much as it is in this third film.

We all know that friendships grow and change just like we do. Sometimes, we have to leave good friends behind because of whatever reason, but that doesn’t mean your friendship has to end. Maybe sometimes it does, and that’s okay, too-but it doesn’t have to. Life gets in the way and you may have to say goodbye, but that doesn’t mean your friendship is any weaker for it. I’ll touch more on the very ending of the film a bit later because it really ties into this. Many of our friendships, battered and tested by distance and time, can remain the same-just as strong as when they began.

It can still hurt of course, which brings us to…

HAHAHAHA I STILL LOVE CRYING HAHAHAHA

THE GOODBYE

Everyone ready to cry?

GREAT.

I will freely admit that a teaser for the film actually spoiled the big goodbye twist for me. There was a short clip of Toothless, looking longingly off to some other dragons flying nearby, with a voiceover of Hiccup saying “it’s okay, bud. It’s time.”

Once I’d picked up the shattered pieces of my heart, I realized I was actually thankful for this…I think the film was slightly easier to sit through since I knew what was coming. Granted, the movie teases the Big Goodbye relatively early on. Hiccup almost says goodbye to Toothless after they first find him in the secret dragon lair, but then Plot happens.

Unfortunately, knowing it was coming did not make it any easier to sit through.

The bond between Toothless and Hiccup is a refreshing one, so simple and powerful and hopeful! So watching them hug one last time and say goodbye for…they didn’t know how long?

My popcorn was flavored with my many, many tears.

But! I knew this was coming! Plus, it made sense plot wise, the dragons weren’t safe, Toothless wouldn’t be alone, and neither would Hiccup! It’s okay! They’re still friends! It’s fine!!!

What was NOT fine was then having to watch the ENTIRE VILLAGE OF BERK SAY GOODBYE TO THEIR DRAGONS, TOO. I mean, all at once, everyone is hugging their dragons and crying and I JUST.

I think the real kicker, though, was watching Astrid say goodbye to Stormfly. There was something about the way her voice cracked and their little snuggle hug…

Anyway, not even popcorn anymore, just soggy, salty, once-was-popcorn.

(Fun fact: supposedly the dragons have voice actors to help the animators with facial expressions and gestures before final editing, and I guess Toothless straight-up says “I don’t want to leave you” in that final hug with Hiccup so I’m just gonna go crawl under a rock and sob for a thousand years, thanks)

It was heart-wrenching, and you know it’s the best solution all-around because humans are awful and can’t be trusted with nice things like dragons.

But you know what else it was? Hopeful.

Goodbyes are just as real as friendships, unfortunately, and the move highlights that pretty strongly. But it also makes clear that not only is everyone strong enough to say goodbye, everyone is never alone when they say goodbye, either. Sure, Berk and the dragons had to separate, but they still had each other. Toothless has the Light Fury and his whole dragon community, and Hiccup has Astrid and all of Berk. It’s bittersweet, sure, but it’s real (as real as an animated movie about Vikings and their dragon buddies can be).

But you didn’t think that was the end of the story, did you?

Cause of death: the way Hiccup looks at Astrid

THE ENDING

I remember when the last Harry Potter book came out-I was too young to go hang out outside the bookstores with my siblings and their friends, and I didn’t have a group of my own to go with (this was when I was attending a fairly conservative school that required a signed permission slip to even check the Harry Potter books out of the school library, so…). But I do remember my parents and I reading the book together. We’d each take turns reading a chapter out loud, and sometimes my dad would have to take over if my mom and I were crying, which happened a lot. I remember being so pleased with it. It felt like a perfect ending for these characters I’d grown up with. They deserved the happy endings they got, and I was so pleased they all remained friends.

When the movies came out and they ended the same way, with our leads all grown up and seeing their own children off to have their own adventures, that was when I became more aware of the outcry. I hadn’t realized how many people hated the ending before that. They felt betrayed that these characters, their characters, would just grow up and have normal lives…have kids…so on and so forth. Many remain disgruntled with their job choices.

Finally though, one of my friends posted on Facebook an article explaining why my generation seemed to be so miffed with the ending-it didn’t feel like our ending. It felt like we watched these millennial kids we grew up with achieve the baby boomer dream, and they were happy with that? Many of us maybe don’t want kids. Many of us don’t see a marriage and a family as our happy ending. Many of us wanted more of an acknowledgement for the trauma these characters went through.

Whatever the reason, and I’m sure there are more, people were unhappy.

I think more than anything, though, we were just mad that there was an ending at all. Sometimes it’s easier for us to swallow if the story ends before a big epilogue that skips 20 years and emphasizes the whole “where are they now?” Thing. At least then, we can imagine what happened-we can still see ourselves in those characters and imagine they’re still with us as we grow and change ourselves. But when we’re told what happens, when we’re shown the reality of the 20 years later and the marriage and the kids and the family, we suddenly don’t see ourselves anymore. We’re still in the stage of our lives where we’re slowly picking up the pieces of the battle of Hogwarts-we haven’t reached the stage where we send our own kids off to magic school and wave to them from the platform with our perfect spouse before we head off to our perfect job.

I think it felt like a betrayal of an ending because we felt like we’d been left behind by these characters we used to be able to relate to.

I bring all this up because I was expecting the same thing from How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. After all, we get the same thing-a flash forward of however many years, our leads we used to be able to relate to now older, wiser, full of facial hair or whatever, and they have kids. They are no longer our relatable protagonists because they have grown and changed and gone through life and we’re forced to face that very suddenly. It’s jarring-quite suddenly out of the fog we see Hiccup, but it’s not our Hiccup. This one is taller, even more muscular, quite full of facial hair, and he holds himself in a way we haven’t seen before. Then there’s Astrid-poised, older, not the scrawny overconfident kid we remember. And then there’s MINI Hiccup and Astrid!!

From the other end of the fog, we see him-Toothless, standing on the rocks with the Light Fury. They look relatively unchanged compared to our human heroes, and it actually takes a moment for Toothless to recognize Hiccup and not attack. Then MINI Toothless’s come streaming over the rocks and onto the boat, Hiccup and Toothless are reunited, and then Hiccup has his kids reach their little hands out to touch Toothless’s nose, just like their dad did at the beginning of the story.

What I really like about the ending is Hiccup’s final narration. He talks about how when he was a kid, there were dragons. So on and so forth, humans suck, so the dragons had to leave…but legends say that when an earthquake happens, or a volcano erupts, it’s just the dragons reminding us that they’re here, waiting for us to be ready for them…

Listen I am all for believing that dragon buddies are real and just waiting for us to not be so stupid and violent. I’m down with this.

As sad as the ending is, and I am not kidding when I tell you about the crying, yes it’s a kid’s movie, shut up, it’s extremely hopeful. For me, that’s the best kind of ending. It encourages dealing with goodbyes in a healthy way; to recognize them, to embrace them, and then to seek out the good that you still have. For Hiccup, he lost constant contact with a dear friend…but he found a leader within himself, friends and family with the people of Berk, and a connection with his fellow leader and equal in Astrid.

Friendship is incredibly powerful-but sometimes life gets in the way. Goodbyes suck-but they’re necessary. Most of all though?

Dragons are real-we’re just too big of jerks to handle them yet.

But just like Hiccup taught his kids to approach the dragons with kindness, so each generation that comes is a more kind, hopeful one.

C’mon I couldn’t NOT put this moment in

“OOF” MOMENT

I…genuinely don’t think there was one? I think my main pet peeve is just that we truly do not know much about the Light Fury. She’s barely developed (aside from the moment where she saves Hiccup from falling #OHLOOKIAMCRYINGAGAIN), and I get why, but like…what is her name?? I NEED A SHIP NAME FOR HER AND TOOTHLESS.

Wait…actually…that whole weird subplot with Snotlout having a thing for Hiccup’s mom. Just…why.

Also, what happened to Grimmel’s scorpion dragons? We saw they were being brainwashed, so they could theoretically be saved and good like the rest of the dragons, but they just…die in the explosion I guess? Meh.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Ugh, so many. However, I will settle on the end of Toothless trying to romance the Light Fury on the beach. When all else fails, he draws her face in the sand. It’s a delightful callback to my favorite scene from the first movie, and also my favorite piece on the soundtrack. Like I teared up then just because of what it called back to, and that was EARLY.

Yes I know it’s a kid’s movie shut up.

Can you imagine if Hiccup tried to actually ride Toothless this way he’d be falling off in a MILLISECOND and Astrid would be laughing

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look, clearly, I have a lot of feelings. Like, I do just in general, but especially about this movie.

I think it goes without saying that if you’re a fan of the series, see this movie. If you’ve seen even a part of the films and/or the TV shows, see this movie. If you like really, really well-animated things that make you laugh and cry, see this movie.

I get this series isn’t for everyone-different things speak to different people after all. But if you just want a genuinely good escape, I definitely think you should take yourself to this movie.

If it’s still in theatres. This is a super late post, after all. Otherwise, see it when it comes out to buy, because it is so, so worth it!

I give this movie…….

5/5 TEARDROPS THAT ARE ALSO SAD AND CRYING!!

Look, that last one is still coming to terms with everything, it doesn’t even know what to feel yet

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

There were a lot of repeats…I mean between this and the 2nd LEGO Movie, I’ve seen a lot of kids’ movies lately, okay??

The two new ones were Angry Birds 2 which…..UGHHHHHHHH. I was a big fan of the game back in the day, okay? I wasn’t great at it by any means, but it was cute and fun! I wanted to like the first movie, I really did, but…wow. It was…it was real bad. I think it had good parts, I genuinely laughed once (maybe twice), but overall…wow.

The other new one is Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase. I’ve never really been a Nancy Drew person, which is weird when I think about it because I think the series is like, exactly my aesthetic. It’s probably because everyone else liked it, therefore I couldn’t. I had to find something ~unique~. Hence, Harriet the Spy. Which I do recommend if you haven’t read it. Anyway, this adaptation stars Sophia Lillis in the title role, whom you may recognize since she was Bev in the new IT adaptation! It actually genuinely looks enjoyable, though it’s definitely a kid’s film. I mean the How to Train Your Dragon series is also for kids, but it doesn’t necessarily market itself as such.

Anyway, that does it for this review!! Hiatus over, I’m back for at least a while, and hopefully I’ll be adding a new feature to the reviews coming soon!

For now, if The Hidden World is still playing near you, I highly recommend you see it because crying is good for you, ya know?

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part Review

GET IT BECAUSE THEY PARODY AND MAKE FUN OF ACTION FANTASY FILMS. GET IT.

So this morning, I took myself to the movies and saw The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part. Yes, I took myself to a movie on Valentine’s Day and I LOVED it. Next question.

I saw the original film kind of by accident, my friends and I had planned to see another film (I don’t even remember what it was now) but we got there way too late, and we said “well, maybe we can at least make fun of The Lego Movie.”

And then we were BLOWN away! Like someone on my tumblr said, “the lego movies have NO BUSINESS being as good as they are!”

Granted no one believes me when I swear up and down that The Lego Movie is actually really well-done and heartfelt with an important message and it’s super self-aware and FUNNY. And feel-good! It’s honestly one of my favorite movies, but it’s hard to convince people that it’s good. I mean, I get it-it sounds stupid and…like, also why is it even a thing?

The point is, I was tentatively really excited for the sequel. The first one was amazing-does the second one stand on its level?

and this is everything you need to know about these characters, right here, in one picture

THE PLOT

We pick up technically sort of right after the end of the first movie, when Dad (Will Ferrell) tells Finn (Jadon Sand) that if he can play down in the basement now with the Legos, so can his younger sister, Bianca (Brooklynn Prince). Cue Bricksburg being attacked by those monsters/aliens made out of the bigger Lego sets designed for younger kids. We see everyone ready to attack, but Emmett (Chris Pratt) tells them to hold it, we don’t need to fight anymore! Emmett makes a big heart out of Legos and gives it to the aliens…who promptly eat it, prompting the rest of Bricksburg to attack.

Five years pass, and Lucy (Elizabeth Banks) narrates how they came to where they are now: embittered by years of rebuilding things only to have the aliens destroy them, they have built a new, less-shiny, dystopian city called “Apocalypseburg.” The citizens are scruffy, angry versions of their former selves (in a fun scene, Emmett walks through the city in a similar way to the intro scene of the first movie, greeting all the same characters who are now all dystopian and stuff-even the cats!), giving up on building anything bright and fun lest it attract the aliens. Everyone, that is, except Emmett, who is still just as happy-go-lucky as we remember him. Lucy tries to get him in the dystopian mood, telling him to brood, and in an attempt to do so, Emmett discusses a dream he had about “Armamageddon” where everyone is lost into the BINS of STOR-AGE!!

Oh and also, he built Lucy a cute little house!! Emmett’s super excited about it (he even made a little throw pillow that has “E + L Forever” embroidered on it), but Lucy is worried the bright colors will attract the aliens. Sure enough, a weird ship shows up and attacks them. The citizens of Apocalypseburg hide in a big safe-room thing they built, but in an effort to save one of the adorable alien stars, Emmett opens the door slightly and accidentally lets in General Mayhem (Stephanie Beatriz!!!).

Mayhem grabs Lucy, Batman (Will Arnett), Unikitty (Alison Brie), MetalBeard (Nick Offerman), and Benny (Charlie Day) and takes them to the “Systar System” for a matrimonial ceremony. Once there, they meet Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi (Tiffany Haddish), who swears she is NOT. EVIL. Really. I promise.

Meanwhile, Emmett rebuilds his house for Lucy as a spaceship, determined to go save his friends, and on the way, he meets REX DANGERVEST (also voiced by Chris Pratt). Rex becomes kind of a mentor to Emmett as they travel, but can they save their friends before Armamageddon hits? Will they find out what is REALLY going on?

this is the entire film pretty much

THE REVIEW

So in a similar fashion to the first movie, there’s a relatively big plot twist and reveal near the end that changes everything. Up to that point, it’s a pretty standard family film with a lot of meta jokes and really lovely animation and fun moments, but…it’s just kind of okay. I kept guessing where they were going with this (after all, one reason I love the first film is how it out of NOWHERE pulls at your heartstrings and changes everything about the movie up to that point), but honestly? I was so, so wrong. I could kind of guess some details (it’s called “ArMAMAgeddon” for a reason) but I couldn’t predict everything, and I’m glad I couldn’t.

It was still good and fun to watch, but the humor felt…not as good as the first movie. It felt more forced, which makes sense. After all, the original threw EVERYONE for a loop, it was so out-of-nowhere and GOOD. Then, in an effort to keep that money-making up, we got Lego: Batman which was…okay. Still good! Still fun! But not…the same. It was clearly made without the same amount of love the first film was. Then we got Ninjago and everyone kinda lost hope in the Lego movies.

Basically, this movie had a lot to live up to, and for me, it didn’t really meet that bar…up until the big twist and the ending. I still think I prefer the first movie by…a lot, BUT, this movie did deliver a great couple twists that changed everything and made me go “AWWWW.” It was a great, positive, feel-good film about the importance of love and togetherness.

People (specifically my ol’ college buds) make fun of me for preferring generally happy, feel-good stories, but honestly? I think sometimes that’s what you need. Generally, we watch movies, plays, musicals, TV, or read books to escape. Isn’t it much more enjoyable if that escape makes you feel good? Now I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, so I do love a good sad story, or misunderstood character, or best of all a tragic, TRAGIC backstory. But I also like to come away from a story feeling good and happy-I want to re-experience stuff like that.

Anyway, tangent done. The point is, I did really, really like this movie. It’s just a lot of fun, and really heartfelt and wonderful, especially at the end. Does it live up to the first movie? Nah, at least not in my opinion, but it’s still good. Better than Batman and Ninjago, that’s for sure.

But what makes it so, dare I say…AWESOME??

Spoiler warning now in effect!

EVERYTHING IS AWESOMEEEEE

THE MUSIC

As Lucy says at one point…”Oh no, are we in a musical??”

Yes. This is a musical. Kind of.

Really there are only three songs that feature the characters breaking out into song and two of them are really headlined by Tiffany Haddish as the queen.

It’s interesting, because I distinctly remember thinking the score from the first movie was one of my favorite things ever, it was just super fun and had NO BUSINESS BEING THAT GOOD. Plus there was everyone’s favorite bop “Everything is Awesome.”

This doesn’t have as good of a score, in my opinion, but the soundtrack is still good. “Not Evil” is just ridiculous and super fun, and if I was still auditioning for musicals I would ABSOLUTELY use it. “Catchy Song” does, as the lyrics say, get stuck in your head. But it’s fun and cute, and the scene in the movie that features it is one of my favorites. “Gotham City Guys” is…okay. It’s a fun song, but the relationship built up between the queen and Batman is just…I mean it’s fanfiction material. It’s not bad, it’s juuuuuuust…unique?

But the real amazing song is, and wait for it… “Everything’s Not Awesome.”

Yeah. They did that.

Just when all hope seems lost, the group sings about how yes, everything is NOT awesome. It’s the same tune as “Everything is Awesome” but slowed down and with a piano and really, really sad lyrics…UNTIL……

Lucy’s lyrics in the song are amazing, and this song is what really helped change my mind about the film. She sings “Everything’s not awesome/but that doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless and bleak/everything’s not awesome but in my heart I believe/we can make things better if we stick together/side by side, you and I, we will build it together” which is cute, right?

It then combines with the lyrics to “Catchy Song” but instead of “this song’s gonna get stuck inside your head” the cast sings “this song’s gonna get stuck inside your heart.” WHICH IS SO DORKY AND RIDICULOUS AND I LOVE IT.

Then, the song goes on: “Everything’s not awesome/things can’t be awesome all of the time/it’s unrealistic expectation/but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make everything awesome/in a less idealistic kind of way”

WHICH. LIKE.

Not to mention that the first credits song is all about how awesome credits are because we get to see the names of all the other people who worked on the movie (they timed it so that they sing about specific people like the editor when their name is onscreen and it’s adorable) which like yes!!! Give those people love!! The other two credits songs are all about how we should come together even if we’re different if there was ever a message kids should hear these days, it’s that. They go about their lives seeing adults fight constantly, so to see this movie and get the message that it’s better to work together and focus on love rather than hate…I support this.

my last three brain cells

THE CHARACTERS

Many of the characters are exactly who we loved from the first film (with the possible exception of Batman because I still just…I don’t know how I feel about his whole marriage arc) and it’s a delight. Emmett is relatable AF as always, Lucy is an amazing badass who like faces consequences and changes her mind and realizes the power of love which like YES, Unikitty, MetalBeard, and Benny are sweet lil’ beans yet again. General/Sweet Mayhem is adorable and my love for her increased when I realized she was voiced by Stephanie Beatriz (HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT I AM THE WORST FAN). Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi was super funky and I loved her constant shape-shifting through the film, it was just fun to watch (and after the big twist, my love for her increased). The Queen’s minions (Ice Cream Cone and Banarnar are the two really coming to mind because they were my favs) are super fun, and of course, our human characters are great. Finn and Bianca are super great and I love them, and even though we didn’t see Will Ferrell as Dad this time, we DID see Maya Rudolph as Mom which was fun!

I’m upset Vitruvius didn’t make an appearance, even as a ghost, but I’m most upset about Bad Cop. YOU GAVE LORD BUSINESS TWO WHOLE GOLF REFERENCES, AND BAD COP DOESN’T EVEN GET A WORD, JUST A GRUNT???

#rude

Rex Dangervest is…is a character. I like the meta jokes about who he is (IT’S BECAUSE HE’S VOICED BY CHRIS PRATT GET IT) but he’s never that likable, and granted he’s actually not supposed to be as we learn later. But unfortunately that means we’re stuck with him for a lot of the film, and he’s just…ugh he’s so loud and obsessed with destruction and bleh.

“But wait isn’t that the point?” YES. Exactly.

Let’s talk about the big twists so we can go into why Rex is the worst.

I love how the soldiers’ weapons are cake pops but also WHY DOES BIANCA HAVE SO MANY CAKE POPS AND WHY ISN’T SHE EATING THEM CAKE POPS ARE GREAT, BIANCA

THE TWIST(S)

The clock is ticking down the minutes to the dreaded 5:15, which is when the Queen will marry Batman (that is a real sentence I just typed, yes). Lucy has met up with Emmett and Rex and they have concocted a plan to destroy the wedding ceremony. However, Lucy learns that General Mayhem, without her helmet, is actually Sweet Mayhem, and is super nice and also? The Queen does not want to destroy the world and bring about Armamageddon, she just wants to unite their two worlds in love so the fighting can stop! The whole fight, Lucy and Sweet have been going back and forth with “you started it, no you started it!” And when Lucy points that out, Sweet says no, really, you guys started it.

At the same time, the Queen takes her original form: the heart that Emmett gave the aliens at the beginning of the movie. Lucy realizes that the aliens have never wanted to fight, they took the heart Emmett gave them and made it their queen!

At the same time again, we learn why she’s called Queen Watevra Wa”Nabi: when Bianca first started playing with Legos when she was a lot younger, Finn made her that Lego heart and gave it to her, telling her it could be “whatever she wanted it to be.”

AWWWWWWWW

Also, her friends were never brainwashed like she thought, they just genuinely liked the Systar System better because it’s happier there and everyone is friends! (Which means that Superman and Green Lantern were not brainwashed into being friends, they just genuinely became friends which IS ALSO GROWTH OKAY)

Lucy tries to stop Emmett, but Rex convinces him that Lucy must also be brainwashed, so he goes through with destroying everything.

This has us cut to “reality,” where Mom walks in on Finn and Bianca fighting again-Finn (as Emmett) destroyed the tower Bianca built because she took his stuff (the characters that Mayhem captured). Mom (after stepping on a Lego twice because can you believe they didn’t have that gag in the first movie) says alright, this is really it now, time to pack up the Legos and put them into storage. Finn tells Bianca (as he grabs the spaceship containing Emmett and Rex, allowing them to “make their escape) that she “ruined everything” and she says softly after him that she just wanted him to play with her. (This brings to mind the scene earlier where Sweet Mayhem was telling Lucy that they wanted to be friends because they really looked up to them, which translates to Bianca wants to play with Finn because she really looks up to her brother AND I’M CRYING)

This next twist is…a trip.

Rex reveals to Emmett that he IS EMMETT. He is Emmett who got tossed under the dryer and never found, who hardened because of that, and built a time machine to go back and save himself from…himself. It’s a little funky, but it explains why Chris Pratt voices both characters. Emmett is horrified, but Rex points out that this is great though, look at how tough and mature Emmett is now! Isn’t that what he wanted?

We cut back to our other group, thrown into the bins with the lids on. I kid you not, they show us a THE END TITLE CARD. YEAH. THEY DO THAT.

But Lucy says “woah, no, this is not that story that ends on a depressing cliffhanger.”

This is when “Everything’s Not Awesome” is sung, and the music maybe metaphorically reaches Finn’s heart, and he opens the bin of Legos from his sister’s room. He finds the pieces that build up the Queen, and he remakes her as a heart. He brings it to his sister in her room as the music swells and it’s ADORABLE, OKAY.

Meanwhile, Rex has banished Emmett to under the dryer to think about his actions or something, but then Rex comes there anyway to like beat him up I guess. But Lucy comes for him and saves him!! Lucy and Emmett talk to Rex, try to get him to come with them, but Rex says that since Lucy came for Emmett, Rex will never exist now (“I’m Back to the Future-ing!” he says I KID YOU NOT).

There’s one more twist I promise (although it’s just kind of funny). Anyway, we catch up with Mom, who hears her kids and walks outside to find them playing together with the Legos, and it’s super sweet. She smiles watching them, and then we hear Will Ferrell from inside yell “honey, where are my pants?”

YEAH REMEMBER HOW THAT WAS NEVER EXPLAINED IN THE FIRST MOVIE. GOD BLESS, THAT MEANS FINN HEARS HIS DAD SAY THAT A LOT. I LOVE IT.

I dunno how much acting Pratt had to do for this character tbh I mean…that’s the joke

THE MESSAGE

So the big overall message is one of unity, like I mentioned earlier with the music. There’s no big epic fight, just like how there wasn’t a big epic fight in the first film. There’s just reconciliation between a family, and it’s done in a really sweet way in both movies.

Another message that centers around Rex entirely is that of the dangers of toxic masculinity. Think about it: Rex’s big power is that he can destroy things. He loves it, he LIVES for it; that’s his thing, and he’s proud of it. He was hardened by no one coming to save him under the dryer, and he let that anger control him into wanting to ruin the possible happiness and reconciliation between the two worlds. He is, very purposely, every single action hero ever.

(Quick sidenote and speaking of action heroes: the Bruce Willis cameos in the film were AMAZING. I mean, so random, but great)

Rex represents all the anger Finn feels at Bianca. She steals his toys, she ruins everything…so he breaks her stuff.

One of my favorite lines is when Emmett is talking to Rex at the end and says that there’s nothing about what Rex does that is particularly tough-he takes the easy way out and never wants to connect with or save anyone, only himself. Emmett says that “opening your heart? That’s really tough.”

You could argue when Rex is “Back to the Future-ing” at the end, he does open up a little to Lucy and Emmett, but the important thing is just that: he disappears. He is all anger and destruction and he is not needed.

Now he did teach Emmett how to destroy, and that’s a part of him now. Heck, Rex IS Emmett, remember?

But that’s not all Emmett is. He doesn’t have a perfectly chiseled face, he doesn’t thrive off of loneliness and destroying things, he’s a dork who named his plant “Planty” and buys his girl coffee every morning, he remembers the name of every cat that belongs to that one lady he says hi to every day, he is constantly full of hope, he loves his friends, he loves pop music, and he believes correctly that opening your heart is a really tough thing to do…but it’s worth it. He has never once fought a major villain in the franchise-he talks to them. He offers his hand to them. He tells them that love is more powerful than anything else.

And Lucy loves him for it. All his friends love him for it.

Kids are seeing that anger doesn’t actually solve anything, but peace and love does.

Which brings us to some…interesting reviews I’ve seen…

I wonder if the men are mad because Batman looks like this for most of the film

THE REVIEWS

So you know how Google has this thing where, if you Google a movie now, you can see critic reviews and audience reviews?

So like, I read a while ago that some people started boycotting the Lego: Batman movie because-and I’m serious-it is gay propaganda. The reason? Because Robin is adopted by Bruce Wayne…and Batman. So it promotes…”same-sex adoption.”

I cannot stress how much Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person.

Reviews of that nature have also come after this movie…there are complaints about Bianca’s shirt, which has a rainbow collar (yes, really). There are complaints about Batman’s marriage to Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi because it promotes a marriage to a “nonbinary character.” At first I thought they were referring to the Queen, although characters throughout the film refer to the Queen as “her” which like, she could still be nonbinary, but that seems like a bit of a stretch. Then I realized-Batman. Batman’s nonbinary, of course. That’s why they’re all upset (refer to photo above).

Other complaints are about how it features “undermining the father’s role in the home” (IS THIS BECAUSE WE ONLY HEARD WILL FERRELL AND DIDN’T SEE HIM. HE’S PROBABLY HIDING AFTER THAT DISASTER OF A SHERLOCK HOLMES ADAPTATION HE TRIED TO BE IN) and that it features a character with blue hair who is a “social justice warrior” (I am happy to report that I just today dyed my hair blue, I will be reporting to my social justice warrior camp in the morning).

There are even complaints about how the female characters save the day.

It’s people like this who the movie is targeting, in a way. They are the Rex Dangervest’s of the world. And they had to watch (with their CHILDREN) themselves get undermined on the big screen by a blue-haired FEMALE social justice warrior, a nonbinary Batman, and a girl with a rainbow collared shirt (in front of their CHILDREN).

I don’t want to attack anyone who thinks all of that, really I don’t. I just think maybe if those are your complaints about the movie, maybe you’re not really watching it, you’re just looking for things to hate about it. Everything seems like an attack on you personally when you view it that way. Also? It’s a kid’s movie. Also also? It’s a MOVIE. IT’S MADE-UP, Y’ALL.

I’m not saying it doesn’t have an effect even though it’s made-up, I’m just saying we’re going to war over something that doesn’t really warrant it. I mean…one of the characters is a banana. Who slips on his own peel frequently. That is a recurring gag in the film.

But if you think this movie is bad for your kids because it’s pushing some kind of “politically correct agenda” which is simply…”be nice to each other”, then, well, yeah, I’m gonna make fun of you for it a lil’ bit. And I will absolutely keep dying my hair blue and wearing rainbows all the time.

(also like someone complained that Benny is gay?? And like, I’m super bi you guys, if I missed the big gay agenda push with Benny, I don’t think it’s there. If we’re gonna label it, I would say Benny’s pretty asexual. Have you seen him get excited about literally anything else other than a spaceship? Yeah)

Planty is never seen again after this scene. RIP Planty.

“OOF” MOMENT

I’ve already expressed my distaste at the ONE TINY SCENE THAT THEY GAVE TO BAD COP, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. But I think I’d have to award this moment to the scene where Maya Rudolph steps on a Lego…twice. While it’s an appropriate gag, obviously, it felt very Maya Rudolph-y and not very…Lego Movie-y. It just felt out of place with the tone of the movie. And the tone of this movie is like, allllll over the place.

Also like, whatever scene confirmed Benny’s gayness for a lot of angry parents. It was so bad and subtle I MISSED IT.

FAVORITE MOMENT

The entire ending with all the heartfeltness is probably it, but I have to highlight the scene where Unikitty becomes…Ultrakatty. I feel like I appreciate cat jokes a lot more now that I have a cat. Also there’s a scene where a loud noise wakes Unikitty up and she just puffs up like crazy. It was my cat on the screen, basically.

Also the second part of the credits is ridiculously adorable because it shows pictures of the Lego creations of real-live siblings and it’s SO. CUTE.

“they come in pieces” these are the PUNS

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

Like I’ve said, I’ve never really been able to convince people that the Lego movies are actually really, really good. I still genuinely think the first movie is better, but this one is a worthy follow-up, even though it’s not quite as good.

If you liked the first one, even if you were unimpressed with Batman and Ninjago, I think you will like this one. It goes back to its roots more than the spin-offs do, and it is genuinely enjoyable, especially once the twist kicks in. Plus, there are SO MANY META JOKES. SO MANY.

If you’re looking for reasons to hate it, like I said, you won’t like it, of course. If you like fun, feel-good movies and you’re willing to give this a chance, please consider checking out the original and then seeing this one.

They are really, really good, I promise!!

All in all, I give The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part,

4/5 BASIC LEGO BRICKS WITH EXAGGERATED ANIME EYES!!

Because for some reason all of the Systar System characters had crazy big anime eyes. It must be for the added emphasis on those puppy-eyes scenes.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Bunch of repeats, although some of them had a new version of the trailer, like Uglydolls (brace yourself, guys, the bad guy seems to be…A BLONDE WHITE MALE!!!) and How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (I am SO EXCITED and also SO TERRIFIED if they do ANYTHING to Toothless, I genuinely won’t survive. I’m crying over animated flying lizards already and we still have a week). Newbies include Toy Story 4 which…ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why is this happening?? Is it the money???? It’s the money, isn’t it. They ended it PERFECTLY with Toy Story 3, but noooooooo. And look, it’s Pixar, and it’s the Toy Story franchise, so it has a good chance of being like, actually good. But….why does it exist in the first place??? Stupid money. Speaking of cash-grabs, The Secret Life of Pets 2 looks….aight, I guess. I was real excited about the first one, and then it was just kinda…meh. So I don’t have high hopes for this one. The one I’m REALLY excited for is Detective Pikachu. I mean…that is my and a whole lot of other people’s childhoods coming to life in a very, very weird way on screen and I am SO EXCITED. Plus like, Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu??? I am living.

Thankfully I didn’t have to sit through another Brightburn trailer this time.

That’s it for this review! I guess one reason I don’t understand the negative reviews (mostly because I disagree with the basis entirely) is because I really wanted to just…pull the good things out of it? Like I said, it’s not as good as the first one I don’t think, but there’s still really heartwarming stuff that happens. But I forget that we don’t like heartwarming I guess.

Anyway, I thought it was good, and I’m all down for skewing the review results against people who are angry about the movie because Benny is…gay.

I just-he’s not even the character who wore the rainbow-collared shirt??? Whatever.