Category: music

Cyrano (2021) REVIEW

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Do you ever feel like someone looks into your brain, sees exactly what kind of media you’ve been craving lately, and then they rolled up their sleeves and said “I’ve got this?”

Because that is exactly how it felt watching the trailer for this film. It was like being swept away into a painting where everything is soft and blurred at the edges, lit by candlelight, and full of pretty dresses that go swoosh and sometimes I NEED that, ya know?

For anyone unaware, Cyrano is an adaptation of an 1897 play called Cyrano de Bergerac, which is an adaptation itself of a real-life Cyrano de Bergerac (broadly speaking). It is a tragedy, so just like…just so you’re aware. Like I 1000% knew going in that I would be sobbing and I was RIGHT. But I’m also not mad about it.

Another thing to note–Cyrano is an adaptation. It’s not going to be just a movie version of the play, in any number of ways (partially because this movie is also a musical, and the play…isn’t. Also the entire play is in rhyming verse and the movie…isn’t) but perhaps the biggest difference being the interpretation of the main character. In the original play, Cyrano de Bergerac is portrayed as a man with an insanely large nose, for which he is made fun of constantly. In this version, Cyrano is portrayed by the wonderful and delightful Peter Dinklage, so the character has dwarfism rather than a large nose. I’ve read a couple reviews complaining about this and like…y’all can complain about whatever you want but like…I’ll get into it more later.

ANYWAY. It’s a movie musical adaptation of a play from the late 1800’s, Peter Dinklage has my whole entire heart, and yes I cried a lot and I’m not mad about it.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

SPOILER WARNING NOW IN EFFECT. FOR A 100+ YEAR-OLD STORY. JUST SAYING.

THE STORY

We begin in France in the year 1640, where we are first introduced to the lovely Roxanne (Haley Bennett). She is in the middle of getting ready to go to the theater that night, bickering with her (maid? Friend?) Marie (Monica Dolan) as she does so. Through this sequence, we learn that Roxanne is an orphan with like, zero money to her name, she’s months behind on rent, and she really should consider an advantageous marriage so she can keep living like she’s used to. Marie is insistent that Roxanne accept the flirtations of the duke, de Guiche (Ben Mendelsohn), because like, money, but Roxanne does not love him, and that’s what she craves. Roxanne is an incredible romantic, convinced that love will feel like a sudden lightning strike of passion, and that she will not feel like an object, like she does with de Guiche. However, she does agree to accompany him to the theater, because as she explains to Marie, they cannot afford the tickets without him and she does so love the theater.

During a song sequence on the way to the theater, we are then introduced to Christian (Kelvin Harrison Jr.). Christian is a new recruit, quite poor himself, and wandering around the city, when he spies a reflection of Roxanne and follows her carriage to the theater, where it seems he uses the last of his own money just to get inside to see her. The theater is chaos, but time seems to stop when the two of them finally lock eyes. A thief stealing from Christian finally cuts the tension and Christian scampers off after them, but it’s clear the moment had a great impact on both of them.

The play begins, and it seems that there is a divide between the upper crust and the lower class on just how good (or not) the actor, Montfleury, (Mark Benton) seems to be. Then, we hear a voice from the back, and we are finally introduced to the story’s namesake, none other than Cyrano de Bergerac (Peter Dinklage) himself. As Cyrano engages Montfleury in a battle of wits of sort, ultimately winning as Montfleury flees, he has his own eye contact moment with Roxanne–the two grin at each other, but do nothing to publicly acknowledge the other beyond that, up until de Guiche’s buddy Valvert (Joshua James) loudly insults Cyrano on the spot. Valvert challenges Cyrano to a duel, a decision he will absolutely regret.

Not only is Cyrano charming, witty, and poetic, he’s an incredible swordsman–Valvert didn’t stand a chance. Cyrano wins, disarming Valvert and turning away, but Valvert is furious at being publicly embarrassed like that and attempts to stab Cyrano with his back turned. Roxanne shrieks out Cyrano’s name in warning, alerting him, and Cyrano turns, stabbing Valvert instead. Cyrano carefully lays him down in front of a shocked crowd.

Back in the carriage, de Guiche is furious with Cyrano for behaving as such and dealing with Valvert in such a way. Roxanne tries to insist that Valvert was the one who initiated the duel to begin with, and she assures him that Cyrano took no pleasure in the act. Disgusted, de Guiche asks if Roxanne actually knows Cyrano, to which she replies that he is her oldest friend. Claiming it’s for her own good, de Guiche insists that Roxanne end the friendship.

Later, Cyrano is out drinking with his friend in the regiment, Le Bret (Bashir Salahuddin), where he tells the story of his friendship with Roxanne and he admits that he is deeply in love with her. Le Bret says that he should tell Roxanne how he feels, but Cyrano refuses, insisting that someone like her could never love someone like him, and he is destined to forever love her from afar. Marie then interrupts the men, asking Cyrano if he can select a private location to meet with Roxanne the following day. Tentative to hope but unable to think of any other reason for such a sudden request of privacy, Cyrano and Le Bret wonder if Roxanne indeed loves Cyrano in return.

On his way home, Cyrano is jumped in an alley by 10 men, and though they appear to almost get the better of him, Cyrano emerges victorious–but not before noting de Guiche slinking away in the background. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite him at any point later in the story.

The next morning, Cyrano meets with his baker friend, Ragueneau (Peter Wight), to set up a private room for his meeting with Roxanne. During the search for the perfect room, Cyrano helps Ragueneau with a love poem for his wife, telling him to use metaphors that matter to him and capture something he knows well, such as baking. With the private room settled, Cyrano writes a love letter to Roxanne, but before he can sign it, she appears with Marie. Ragueneau gets to work on food to distract Marie while Cyrano and Roxanne talk. Noticing his injuries from the previous night, Roxanne tends to a particular wound on his hand while she says she has a confession for him. In a rather cruelly-written sequence, Roxanne admits she is in love with someone, a soldier, and she feels as if she’s known him forever but she didn’t realize until the previous night at the theater–all of which just serves to get Cyrano’s hopes up, and before she’s even finished, he says he has a confession to make also. But then, reality comes crashing in when Roxanne says she’s never even spoken to this man but he is FINEEEEE and she loves him.

At this point Cyrano realizes “oh cool so she’s not talking about me after all ha ha that’s awesome that’s great I love that” so he’s a lil bit in shock, kinda looks like he was just smacked with a frying pan, and Roxanne then tells him that her love’s name is Christian, and he’s a new recruit in Cyrano’s regiment (because of course he is). Distraught but ever in love with his friend and wishing only for her happiness, Cyrano agrees to talk with Christian of Roxanne’s feelings and her wish for him to write to her.

This is fine.

The following day at the garrison, de Guiche makes an appearance, offering a position to Cyrano (not out of friendship, mind you, definitely just as a way to keep his enemies close, per se). Cyrano, shockingly, rejects the offer against La Bret’s points about how the position would be well-paid and probably worth his time.

Christian then arrives and is promptly thrown into some sort of hazing fight (as is what happens with new recruits). Still having no idea what Christian even looks like, Cyrano interrupts the fighting, claiming that he will be Christian’s next challenger. Emboldened by victory, Christian makes a few snide comments about Cyrano’s stature, which is just…less than ideal. But Cyrano’s heard it all before, and remains unphased…until he learns Christian’s name. Unable to fight him like he really wants to, probably, Cyrano instead embraces Christian, telling him only that he is “her brother.” Confused, Christian follows Cyrano and asks…”whose brother?” Cyrano explains he’s not actually Roxanne’s brother, they are merely the best of friends, akin to siblings! Hahaha this is FINE.

Christian explains that although he’s thrilled that Roxanne loves him in return, he is in fact doomed, because someone like Roxanne wants wit and poetry and Christian just…cannot do that. The two of them then hatch a plan–Cyrano will write letters for Christian to sign. Cyrano will make Christian poetic, and in turn, Christian will make Cyrano “handsome.”

This charade works well at first, with letters being exchanged and love being had, (except for Cyrano, I guess…) up until Christian meets with Roxanne in person and is unable to speak to her like “he” does in “his” letters. Roxanne is furious, because she needs more than just the simple “I love you” and he’s said it in a million different ways before, why is he suddenly now reduced to calling her a “flower?”

Meanwhile, Roxanne has been doing her best to fend off the icky affections from de Guiche without outright insulting him, and it’s actually working if only because Roxanne is actually like, really clever and good with words? De Guiche is insistent that Cyrano’s guard regiment join him at the front as he’s been called off to fight, and Roxanne, fearing for Christian, persuades de Guiche that the ultimate insult would actually be to leave his regiment behind so that de Guiche and others can attain glory in war while Cyrano is stuck at home. She then manages to convince him that she would love him so much more if he was a decorated war hero, and de Guiche is completely on board with this and decides to head out, leaving Cyrano and Christian behind.

In an attempt to fix the situation between Christian and Roxanne, Christian stands in the shadows beneath Roxanne’s balcony and Cyrano feeds him words to say, eventually taking over entirely and speaking (and singing) plainly to Roxanne of his love. Having fixed the relationship, Cyrano wins a kiss for Christian from Roxanne, which is just…sO GREAT. As Cyrano goes to leave, however, he runs into a priest with an urgent letter for Roxanne. Upon reading it when Cyrano delivers it to her, Roxanne cries–de Guiche is on his way back right then, insistent that she finally come through on her “promises” to him. The priest is there to marry the two of them that night, but if she sends the priest away, de Guiche notes, he will simply be with her without the constraints of marriage; either way, de Guiche will have her that night.

We get another cool glimpse at Roxanne’s cleverness, however, as she wipes her tears away and pretends the letter is written permission and encouragement from de Guiche to be married to Christian, hence, the priest. She hands the letter to Cyrano, however, so he is aware of the true contents. Roxanne insists that Cyrano delay de Guiche–and he heads out to do just that. By the time de Guiche arrives, it is too late; Christian and Roxanne have been married. Furious at being denied what he wants, he decides right then that actually, he will be taking Cyrano’s regiment off to war. That very night. Say goodbye to your new husband, I guess.

Desperate, Roxanne begs Cyrano to look after Christian for her, to keep him fed, and warm, and Cyrano tells her with a broken heart that he cannot promise anything–until she asks that he promise that Christian will write to her. Cyrano nods. That he can promise.

AND NOW WE’RE AT WARRRRRR and, specifically, the Siege of Arras during the Thirty Years’ War. Conditions are…less than ideal. And by that I mean, absolutely awful. Cyrano’s regiment is stuck holding one position and starving in the process. Cyrano himself, meanwhile, sneaks behind enemy lines every day so he can send a letter to Roxanne–Christian himself doesn’t even know how often “he’s” been writing. La Bret then informs Cyrano that their orders have changed–basically, de Guiche had to choose a group of men to send on a suicide mission per the king’s orders, and he has chosen Cyrano’s regiment (in the film, it’s unclear if this is truly a decision made out of malice, as de Guiche looks torn and outright says he takes no pleasure in this (although, those were the exact words Roxanne used when she talked about Cyrano dueling Vavert earlier, so…idk)). Cyrano assumes it is a decision directed at him, since de Guiche isn’t exactly his biggest fan.

The soldiers are well-aware what their new orders mean, and they take the short amount of time they have left to write final letters to their loved ones in one of the most GUT-WRENCHING SONGS IN THE WHOLE THING THANKS FOR THAT. It’s at this point that Christian finally figures out the truth–Cyrano himself loves Roxanne. He insists that Cyrano tell Roxanne the truth, because the decision should be up to her, and her alone.

But Cyrano is so buried in his self-made truth that no one could ever love him–why would he change his mind now? Christian, upset with Cyrano and himself, insists that though he does love Roxanne, he would rather be loved for who he is, not who Cyrano is. Frustrated and likely delirious with exhaustion and hunger, Christian runs out into the battlefield and promptly gets shot down. Cyrano drags him back to the camp, where Christian once again implores Cyrano to tell Roxanne the truth–for what she loves is Christian’s soul, and he explains that Cyrano is his soul. Cyrano, meanwhile, shakes his head, insisting that Christian will not die, he cannot die…but he does. Sobbing, Cyrano leaves his friend’s body and joins the regiment marching off, and we’re forced to watch the soldiers get taken out one by one.

Three years later, we catch up at a convent, where Roxanne now spends her days. The sisters talk about Cyrano, who frequently visits, but refuses to eat or take any steps to care for himself. Sure enough, Cyrano is ill and ever dealing with wounds that did not heal properly from the war. He is still writing to Roxanne, though still not signing the letters himself, unable to fulfill Christian’s dying wish to tell Roxanne the truth. On his way to the convent that day, he collapses, making him later than he usually is.

Roxanne insists that he will be there, because he’s always there. Sure enough, Cyrano does make an appearance, and the two old friends sit to talk (though Cyrano fails to mention that he fears he is dying haha oops). Finally, Cyrano requests that he be allowed to read Christian’s last letter, which Roxanne keeps with her at all times. She obliges, and notices as he reads it that he’s not actually reading it, he’s remembering. It’s been him all this time.

NO. REALLY.

Cyrano denies it, however, no matter how much Roxanne insists that she knows it to be him. It’s at this point that Cyrano collapses, his wounds finally catching up with him. Roxanne says over and over that she loves him, she will not lose him a second time, it’s not going to happen. Cyrano, of course, is like “wait I’m confused the person you love is dead” and she’s just…you’re so stupid oh my WORD.

The two sing a heart wrenching little duet, share a kiss, and she says again that she loves him. HIM. Not Christian, not his words, but just Cyrano, as he is. In a moment we will absolutely discuss momentarily, Cyrano dies by saying that he loved…his pride.

The film ends on a shot of Roxanne crying over Cyrano’s body, the whole convent washed in a golden-white light.

WHAT A HAPPY TIME AM I RIGHT HOW ARE WE DOING

THE VISUALS

THIS MOVIE. IS SO PRETTY.

You can tell it’s the Joe Wright team when basically every shot looks like it could be a painting, and it’s absolutely my aesthetic. I’m on board.

It’s so hard to narrow down but notable visual moments that smacked me in the face include:

  1. The eye-contact moment between Christian and Roxanne at the theater. Stop. Stop that. How did they capture the entire idea of love at first sight. How. No. Not okay. Thank you.
  2. Honestly the entire opening where Roxanne is singing on the way to the theater and people are dancing and you can see it in the reflection??? I don’t know what’s up with cinnamontography and filming dances in reflections of windows but like…I’m not complaining.
  3. I’m gonna try not to list every dance sequence but um–the bakery??? Like…you know that pottery scene in Ghost? It’s like they looked at that scene and said “what if we made that a whole choreographed number?” Like…that mixed with Peter Dinklage singing? I’m not okay.
  4. Probably entirely due to Peter Dinklage’s acting–the scene where Roxanne and Cyrano meet in private and the moment he realizes she’s not talking about him? She’s not in love with him after all? You see that exact moment in his face and it’s heartbreaking and I still haven’t recovered from it.
  5. The transition from sword-fighting to dancing during Christian’s reprise of “Someone to Say” is iconic and fits so well with Christian’s character and what he’s singing about and…I will never be over it.
  6. We HAVE to talk about “Every Letter” because…WOW. I thought people were joking on tumblr when they said Roxanne had sex with a letter but um…idk man they weren’t joking though. Also the occasional shift to show all three of them singing? AAAAAAAAAAH
  7. Roxanne’s meeting with Christian that transitions into “I Need More?” it’s one of those sequences that makes me want to put on a floofy dress and walk the streets around me belting about romantic poetry. What a POWER ballad.
  8. The whole last sequence in the convent is so incredibly soft–there’s never a moment where I would describe the lighting or visuals as sharp, but there’s something about the warm, muted tones in the convent that just paint everything in such a peaceful light. It almost gives the whole scene an otherworldly air–like maybe Cyrano had died on the way to the convent and this scene is his heaven. I mean, Roxanne there, confessing her love to him? WOW NOW I’M SAD AGAIN

“Wherever I Fall” gets an honorary mention specifically for the way they made a point of showing us the three soldiers who sang getting shot down. I hate it but I appreciate it, if that makes sense.

Basically, personally, this movie is visually my aesthetic and I can’t really think of a moment where I didn’t appreciate what was being shown to me (visually. I don’t appreciate being shown Christian and Cyrano dying).

THE CHARACTERS

Y’all I say this with all of the love I have in my heart, I really do, but…all of these characters are so, so stupid.

But it’s not entirely their fault! It is absolutely a mix of who they are combined with the society and world they live and grew up in. What do I mean?

While there are other characters we can discuss and crucial side-characters who add to the world and the story, this is really a love story about three (dumb) people: Roxanne, Christian, and Cyrano.

Let’s start with Roxanne: on the surface, she seems to be the typical ingenue pretty girl who has such a ~difficult~ life because she wants romance, not money! And, to some degree, she is exactly that. Yes, she is very beautiful, yes, she does crave romance, and yes, she believes that romance is not inherently tied to money (possibly because her only example thereof is de Guiche, who isn’t exactly winning in the “charm” department.) We get some lovely hints, however, that there is so much more to her than that–particularly during the scene where she convinces de Guiche to go off to war without Cyrano’s regiment, and during the scene where she tricks her way into marrying Christian instead of de Guiche. In these scenes, we get a glimpse of just how cunning Roxanne is. She knows exactly how to use what men see when they look at her to her advantage–they see a pretty face, so they don’t expect a clever mind or a sharp tongue. She uses a mix of de Guiche’s desire for her as well as his personal grudge against Cyrano to keep both her dear friend and her love safe at home (at least, at first). Later, she uses the rules of the society she is trapped in to her advantage by getting married herself before de Guiche can have her (this, of course, ultimately backfires, but I digress).

And yet…she’s so dumb, bless her. The crucial part of the plot that revolves around and depends on Roxanne has to do with her views on love. We don’t know where she gets these ideas–could be books, the theater she is so enamored with, maybe she was inspired by her own parents before their untimely demise…we don’t know. Whatever the cause, Roxanne is convinced that romantic love can only be a “love at first sight” situation and it’ll feel like a tidal wave of emotion. She dearly loves Cyrano, of course, but she believes it is only as a friend because the only kind of romantic love she can think of would be exactly what she experiences with Christian when they see each other in the theater for the first time. It’s why it takes her till the very end of the show to realize how she feels and has felt about Cyrano for a long time–it just truly never occurred to her before that that she and Cyrano could love each other that way. Does it sound silly from a modern standpoint? Kinda! But in the context of her world, it makes sense. Also consider the number of modern stories that still involve love at first sight–it’s a lasting trope for a reason.

Does it make her stupid still? Yes. Absolutely. I love her, but wow.

Now let’s talk about Christian. On the surface, Christian is your typical hero character/male love interest–he’s lovely, he’s determined, he’s talented, and just generally a very decent person. And he is certainly all those things! He also falls in love at first sight with an “out-of-his-league” girl.

Is he also dumb??? Yes, bless him. The crucial part of the plot that revolves around him is the fact that because he’s so pretty, he “can approach Roxanne publicly and it’ll be acceptable” or whatever. However, he does not know how to woo to save his life–he can perform the usual accolades of “I love you” and “you’re like a flower” but, as Roxanne makes a point to sing out in the streets, the woman of his affections needs more than that! Hence, teaming up with Cyrano.

What I love about Christian’s arc as it relates to the world the character lives in is that it is stated so plainly in his song “Someone to Say (Reprise).” Christian flat-out says that he was raised by a soldier father, and it was that upbringing that shaped him into someone lovely and talented with a sword, but completely unable to charm with beautiful words. He straight-up was not allowed to nurse the side of him that so desperately wants to be free and tell Roxanne exactly how she makes him feel. He was told “you are a man. You will learn how to fight and you will learn how to kill.” He was not allowed to be soft even though he really wants to be.

But like…should he have been able to see that the reason Cyrano was so good at writing love letters is because…he was in love himself? Probably. Yes. But he’s dumb. We love him though.

Finally, let’s discuss the title man himself, the lovely Cyrano. On the surface, Cyrano is quirky, incredibly clever, incredibly talented as a soldier, completely fearless, and amazingly charming and romantic…on the surface above that, however, Cyrano just looks different. And he is made to be so incredibly aware of that every moment of every day. Keep in mind that this was the era of Louis XIV–physical appearance was so incredibly crucial to the upper crust of the time, and Cyrano was a direct contradiction for them. So Cyrano worked extra hard to develop a personality that could fight back against the sneers and the looks–in the play he refers to it as “panache,” a term that was coined thanks to the play. It’s a reference to something that was also considered incredibly beautiful among the French elites, “esprit,” or basically, a sharp wit. Cyrano has this in spades, and it’s just as much a weapon as his sword is.

Unfortunately, he has been led to believe that that simply isn’t enough–if he isn’t both physically beautiful (for the time’s standards) and clever, what’s the point? He has been so hurt and tortured in this fashion by society that even when the woman he loves is telling him directly to his face that she loves him exactly as he is for who he is, he will not let himself believe it. He will let himself love Roxanne for more than just her looks, but he won’t let her do the same for him.

HE’S SO DUMB BLESS HIM.

It’s why his last words are that he loved his pride. Roxanne is literally sobbing over him, kissing him, telling him over and over that she loves him, and he cannot believe it. The self-loathing is extra strong there. After all, he let himself hope early on in the story that Roxanne loved him, and it turned out to not be the case because of course she would love the handsome new recruit and not him. Of course. Why did he let himself ever think otherwise?

This same societal expectation that restricts the characters also affects de Guiche–Comte de Guiche historically was considered the most beautiful man of the time. He was the peak example of what all men should strive for. It’s why Cyrano’s popularity irks de Guiche, I mean…look at him, right? The point of de Guiche’s song is basically him saying “I am the best therefore I deserve the best.”

*insert Gaston reference here*

Does that also make him incredibly dumb?? YOU BET.

That’s what makes the tragedy–the nature of the characters against the world they live in. It’s tragic how the society of the time was so rigged against who each of these characters are as an individual in such a specific way that there was no other way for their stories to end.

THE MUSIC

I’ve already fangirled about it a fair amount BUT LET’S GO EVEN DEEPER SHALL WE.

So for those of you unaware (as I was)–this film is an adaptation of an off-Broadway musical of the same name and also starring Peter Dinklage and Haley Bennett (and again, to review–the musical itself is an adaptation of the original play, which is an adaptation of a real guy’s life. Clear as mud? Great). I’m not sure if any of the songs from the original musical were cut, as is often the case when a musical gets turned into a movie (I will never forgive In The Heights for cutting “Sunrise” and yes that is a hill I will die on thank you for coming to my TedTalk), but rest assured that the songs we do have are incredible.

(ALSO–IS THAT A ROMANTIC LEAD I SPY WHO IS NOT A TENOR??? UGH WE LOVE TO SEE IT)

From gorgeously flowing love songs like “Someone to Say,” (and its reprise) “Madly,” “Your Name,” and “Overcome” to impressive power ballads like “I Need More” and “What I Deserve,” every song feels crucial to the storytelling. The playful self-deprecation of “When I Was Born” does so much to introduce the audience fully to Cyrano’s character. The sensual lyrics and instrumentation of “Every Letter” feels like we’re privy to something incredibly private and almost forbidden. The militaristic drumming all the way through “Wherever I Fall” feels wrong when combined with the softness of the lyrics that each soldier sings, and it’s perfect for emphasizing how awful the war is in comparison to the love story we’ve watched up to that point.

I also appreciate that it never tried to be anything more than it was when it came to the songs; it’s a movie musical, and it acts like one. Sometimes that little wink and nod at the audience when a song starts like “haha we know this is unrealistic but stay with us–we’re aware people don’t usually just burst into song!!” is fun, especially when used well, but it would have felt so out of place here. The film knows its audience, and knows exactly what we’re here for. It never tries to play to all sides and is completely unapologetic about the group dance numbers or the characters singing in the streets and I love it for that. It’s not for everyone, but the film knows that, and doesn’t make any great effort to ease you into the whimsy ahead–we start with a shot purely made up of yards and yards of ribbon hanging from the ceiling, complete with childish-looking puppets and other elements of childhood playfulness. Combined with the lovely instrumentation of the “Intro” and “Opening” songs, when Roxanne sees that first couple dancing in the street and she starts singing, it’s like…of course this is happening. It would be weirder for these characters to have a completely uneventful ride to the theater.

Also…the lyrics??? I…you ever hear the lyrics of a song and feel like you’ve been absolutely put in a chokehold by them but like…in a good way?

For example, in songs from Cyrano we have such bangers as:

“These words are the truth, just let them sink in, through your thin-fingered gloves, to your hand, to your skin”

“Talk of the blank space behind the sun where you told me you’d meet me when everyone is gone”

“The way I feel is like falling stars diving into cold ocean waves”

“I’m living proof that God has a sick sense of humor”

And of course, of course, my absolute favorite lyrics in the whole movie are in the soldiers’ songs, “Wherever I Fall” part 1 and 2.

I mean…

“I promised I’d be home alright, but I gotta lay this body down. So take this letter to my wife, and tell her that I loved my life.”

“But I can see her in every detail now turning in my mind. I barely knew that girl at all, but I will love her till the end of time.”

“He wasn’t one of God’s best men, but I loved him anyway…I went in first, I rang the bell, I called his name out loud and I gave ’em hell.”

“Tell ’em not to cry at all, heaven is wherever I fall.”

Like?? Really??? UGH. I LOVE IT. Listening to the soundtrack even before seeing the movie I knew that this song would kill me and it DID. But I’m not mad about it. It also feels…incredibly poignant at this time. Like, not to be all dramatic and anti-war on main or anything but like, hearing this song, hearing these lyrics, watching that sequence in the film…how could anyone do that and think “ah yes, sometimes blowing humans up is justified.”

“But it’s a scene in a movie musical” yes that’s the POINT. Art and storytelling and the empathy those things teach us is what makes us human, and this moment in the film shows how war can rip those things away from us so we’re left with shattered pieces of ourselves that we may never be able to put back together again, and it never affects only us. This song is a bunch of soldiers from different walks of life knowing they are heading towards their death and their last wish is for their loved ones to know that they thought of them when they fell, so please don’t cry. How many soldiers in Ukraine do we think went through the exact same thing? Vietnam? Japan? Cuba? The list, unfortunately, goes on and on.

THE ADAPTATION

I have to touch on this briefly(ish) because I have Strong Feelings.

In the year of our lord 2022 we should all be used to and aware of the fact that adaptations? They’re gonna keep happening. They are here to stay. They kind of, have been here to stay for a while now. I mean, isn’t there that whole argument that there are only like, I dunno, 10 different unique storylines and every story out there is just an adaptation of one of those and nothing is unique or whatever?

I think that’s why it’s always baffling to me when people complain about specific details being changed in one adaptation or the next–isn’t that like, the very definition of the word? It’s not going to be the exact same as the original thing? And sure, there are plenty of adaptations/remakes I can think of where I personally didn’t like or agree with a change, but I always at least sort of try to approach it from a standpoint of “just because this doesn’t agree with me personally, doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad or not worth anyone’s time.”

(also please note how difficult it is for me right now to not take a jab at Alita: Battle Angel and Joker)

When an adaptation changes something or updates an element of the original story to better fit the time it is being released in, that does not necessarily make it a bad adaptation. In fact, I would argue that when something like that is done well, it’s incredibly beneficial to the original story and brings it around and makes it relatable and endearing to a whole new audience who may never have even looked at it before. This can range from setting the story in a more modern setting, like turning Emma into Clueless or Pride and Prejudice into The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, to changing key characteristics of lead characters, like the Duke and Kate Sharma in Bridgerton to, yes, casting Peter Dinklage as Cyrano de Bergerac. Such updates, though still not necessarily perfect or without fault, can relay the themes of the original story in a new way to a new audience, keeping the heart of it alive and reminding us about the universality of it.

In the original story, Cyrano has a large nose and that is his hang-up. Do we still today make fun of people with big noses? Yes. We are obsessed with what we consider physical beauty to a fault. However, we also live in an age where men are able and allowed to look more different than women–they still have beauty standards, of course, but representation in media for them has a much greater range than it does for women. Is this changing? Of course it is. To the point where making Cyrano simply have a large nose in this adaptation wouldn’t be that powerful–we as a society are changing to where a physical “problem” like that wouldn’t necessarily explain Cyrano’s self-hate or the way he is snubbed by society. In the time the story was originally set? Absolutely it makes sense because physical beauty standards were so incredibly specific. But it doesn’t translate as well to a modern audience.

But casting Peter Dinklage?

Dwarfism is something we don’t see much representation of in media, outside of characters who are literally dwarves or funny side characters. It’s just “the way things are.” So to give this romantic lead role that features incredible love ballads, sharp-witted arguments, amazingly choreographed fight scenes, and soft romantic moments to Peter Dinklage? It’s perfect.

It’s a commentary on society all on its own, and it works wonderfully well. It forces the audience to overcome any sort of deep-seeded prejudice they may have, even unaware, and say “why do I feel that way? This human is just as talented, sweet, and powerful as the other love interest–why should he be treated as any less?”

And yeah, of course this means that any sort of iconic and clever prose from the original play about Cyrano’s nose is going to be missing or altered, and yeah, of course that’s a little sad because the writing is wonderful.

But can we all agree that maybe, just maybe, that’s not the point?

It’s okay if this film isn’t for you and it’s okay if you’re disappointed it’s not a direct line-for-line remake or adaptation of the original play. But if your main hang-up is that they cast Peter Dinklage instead of slapping a fake nose on Chris Pratt, maybe take a second to back up and wonder why that rubs you the wrong way.

And if you don’t wanna consider that, then make your own movie.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

YES. If movie musicals are your jam, if period pieces are your jam, if the entirety of 2005’s Kiera Knightley Pride and Prejudice is your aesthetic exactly, SEE THIS MOVIE. It’s not for everyone, of course (is anything?), because as we’ve already discussed, this was tailor-made for me, thank you. But I’ll share it with you all.

It knows exactly what it is and who the audience is and it exists as this gorgeous, tragic, meaningful movie musical unapologetically and I adore it for that.

All in all, I give Cyrano…

5/5 LOVE LETTERS!!!

(it was almost swords as a nod to the absolutely beautiful fight choreography because ohhhhhmY but…I mean it’s Cyrano de Bergerac I have to do love letters)

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Lightyear I am…tentatively optimistic about. I think it’s disappointing that they’re beating the dead horse so much when it comes to the Toy Story franchise like…there are…maybe other stories to tell…but it doesn’t necessarily look bad or anything. Yet.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent…I mean…what do you even say about this? They took the Nicolas Cage memes and made them a movie? It could be really fun and classic and it could also be super weird and questionable and somehow I feel like it’s going to be a weird combination of all of the above. Did anyone even ask for this? Why are we here.

The Bob’s Burgers Movie is gonna be like the Downton Abbey movie–like it has its audience and it knows it. I’m not necessarily that audience but I hope people enjoy it.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is so…I’m torn. On the one hand, I wasn’t terribly enchanted by the first Fantastic Beasts film and I’m not necessarily excited about more of them, but on the other hand…Mads Mikkelsen. Jude Law. I’m not immune to them. I don’t pretend to be.

The Bad Guys looks surprisingly charming and maybe really good?–I love the idea and think there’s a lot of potential there for something really funny and special. I hope it follows through and the trailer isn’t misleading in that aspect.

Everything Everywhere All At Once looks PHENOMENAL like I have no idea what’s happening or why there are so many googly eyes but–I wanna know!! I would like to find out!! This movie looks like it’ll mess with my mind and I am ready for it!!!

MINIVIEWS TAKE TWO

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I think somewhere along the line I swore to myself that I’d never let it get to the point where I do a bunch of miniviews again but…here we are.

Same rules as last time: I will discuss my main thoughts on the film, choose a standout element, say whether or not I think you should see it, and rate it. And then I’ll make some cute promise about not doing this again. 🌝

(This time I blame real life and also the release of Luigi’s Mansion 3. HAVE Y’ALL PLAYED THAT YET IT’S SO GOOOOOOOOD)

Lessgoooooooooo:

MINIVIEW 1: DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD

MY THOUGHTS:

I can honestly say that I never thought in the year of our lord 2019 I would be writing about a movie that is a live-action adaptation of Dora: The Explorer and be saying that it’s…really, really good.

I mean like even the trailers had me like “wow that looks…decent??” And uh…it was???

But more than that, the movie is, as I like to say, a damn good time. If you grew up with the TV show like I did, it’s such a funky little love letter to everything we loved and hated about the show. My poor parents knew like nothing about it and I may or may not have made them a presentation on Dora basics so they knew what they were signing up for by going with me to see this.

It’s genuinely so much fun–it has great characters, a pLot TWisT, a lovely story, JUNGLE PUZZLES!!!, and even a really cool moral. It knew exactly how ridiculous it was and just ROLLED WITH IT.

I mean y’all someone literally made a movie of that College Humor skit from YEARS AGO…AND IT WAS GREAT.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Y’ALL DORA LITERALLY USED A YO-YO AS A WEAPON I–

I started learning yo-yo tricks this year (or as we in the in-crowd say, I started “throwing” this year) and I keep trying to tell people that a yo-yo could be a seriously good weapon, I mean do you know how many times I’ve whacked myself this thing is a hazard??

AND SHE LITERALLY USED IT AS A WEAPON I CANNOT–

Also I loved whenever Dora spoke to the camera or whenever she talked to people like “Hi! I’m Dora!” Like she’s a ray of sunshine and I love her.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

PLEASE DO. It’s just so much fun. Also–a Latinx-led cast!

Also stay tuned for my essay on how Dora and Alita went through very similar character arcs in their respective films but Dora’s actually worked and developed her character more and she’s literally DORA THE EXPLORER–

Haha just kidding.

…unless? 🌝

All in all, I give Dora and the Lost City of Gold…

5/5 DEADLY WEAPON YO-YOS!!

MINIVIEW 2: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

MY THOUGHTS:

Lemme preface this by saying that Bend It Like Beckham is one of my favorite movies of all time, and the same people worked on this movie, so I was already really excited about it.

And like, I was not disappointed at all.

This movie is a delight from start to finish. The characters are lovable and well-rounded and the story is just so fun and heartwarming. There’s a little bit of drama, a little bit of romance, a lotta friendship, a lotta Bruce Springsteen music, and a whole lot of family love. There’s kinda something for everyone in this movie.

(I mean hey, if you’re a blood-and-gore action fan, there’s even a protest that interferes with a wedding party and someone gets injured and you see the blood, so–yay there you go I guess!)

My biggest complaint is the girlfriend character. Don’t get me wrong, she’s super cute and a delight, but at least in my view, her whole character was just: Girlfriend. That’s it. What music does she like? We don’t know. Her family? We don’t know. Favorite color?? WE DON’T KNOW.

Granted, she’s not the main focus at all, but they spent a whole lot of time developing our leading man, his ex-best friend and his new best friend, so like…if they all get development…….can my girl get some development too……..

I mean it’s like you could switch out her and Alita and neither of their movies would change very much….I’m just sayin…….🌚

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

By far the incorporation of Springsteen’s music. Just like you saw in the trailer, they had the lyrics appear onscreen in real time and it was such a fun little thing to do–I mean don’t we all feel a little like that when listening to music??

No???? Just me???????? Cool.

Also that whole scene where they takeover the radio booth at school and then dance around the streets and go crazy? So fun to watch.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Generally? Yes. And I’m speaking as someone who knew absolutely none of the songs used in the film. So if you’re worried about that, please know that you’ll still really enjoy it.

But I also know that this is my type of movie…it’s a character drama about relationships and the power they can have in our lives (also, music) and I ABSOLUTELY eat that shit up. If it’s not your kind of thing, you probably won’t like this movie.

But if you’re home one night and just want a feel-good drama with some great tunes, I definitely recommend you check this movie out.

All in all, I give Blinded by the Light…

4/5 CASSETTE TAPES!!!

MINIVIEW 3: DOWNTON ABBEY

MY THOUGHTS:

*sniff* SO THE ROYAL SERVANTS ARE MEAN AND ANNA AND BATES WORK TOGETHER AND THEY’RE HAPPY FOR ONCE *sob* AND CARSON COMES BACK BECAUSE MARY NEEDS HIM *deep inhale* AND THOMAS OH GOD MY SWEET BABY THOMAS IS HAPPY *long sniff* AND THE SCENE WITH MARY AND MAGGIE SMITH AT THE BALL OH GOD–*all-out-crying*

Uh so yeah it was okay.

I think what I really, really loved about this was that it never tried to be anything more but an elongated episode of the tv show. Like it didn’t try to be anything that would draw in a different audience because it trusted that all of us would be absolute SUCKERS and come back for these dorks AND IT WAS RIIIIIIIIIIGHT WE ALL FELL FOR IT DAMMIT.

I’m not mad about it though tbh like it was fantastic. I didn’t even get fully caught up on the show and I STILL loved it. I feel like every character had a good arc and had their moment to shine, and it was all interwoven in a really lovely way.

I’m bitter that everyone was so quick to accuse Branson about being a political problem again but that’s because he’s my favorite (also can we all collectively mourn the fact that Branson and Mary never got together I just–) but anyway, I digress.

It was so heartwarming and fulfilling and such a lovely, sweet farewell to these amazing characters that captivated me for years and years. I will miss them all so much but I adore where their story ended.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

THOMAS’S ENTIRE STORYLINE I’M GONNA CRYYYYYYYY

Thomas has always been such a fascinating character and now he got a really good, happy plot and I’m so happy for him?? It was heartbreaking watching him try to “fix” himself near the end of the show and now he’s out here kissing cute boys in the kitchen??? What an icon. I love him.

Also again, Maggie Smith’s final scene at the ball with Mary was absolutely heartbreaking in the best way possible. It was so sweet watching those two connect in such a vulnerable way I’m GONNA CRY AGAIN.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Please do absolutely if you are a Downton fan. Please please please. If you aren’t a Downton fan, first of all what are you doing with your life, secondly yeah, okay, maybe this movie isn’t for you.

It’s still good though.

Better female character development than some other movies I could and will mention ruthlessly *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

All in all, I give Downton Abbey…..

4.5/5 CRYING BOWTIES!!!!!

MINIVIEW 4: THE GOLDFINCH

MY THOUGHTS:

So like, I know this book was a really big thing for a while but uh, I never read it. I don’t know why, I think I was just solely in my YA dystopian fiction phase when it came out and I was just like…meh.

(Tbh I’m still in that phase but it’s more out of spite now because I will defend YA dystopian fiction till my last breath thanks)

So I guess the main thing I’ll say is that wow seeing the movie made me really, really want to read the book.

Overall, the movie is beautifully shot and acted, and wow Ansel Elgort does an amazing, amazing job. I love him in basically anything but that’s beside the point.

Actually like all the acting? Really wonderful.

It’s an interesting, really gritty tale, and I was a little surprised by how much I did like it. But like…I dunno if I would watch it again? At least not until I read the book. Because like, the movie was good. But it just makes me wonder if the book is fantastic.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

Oh the cinnamontography for sure. That entire scene where our main boy wakes up in the gallery after the bomb is stunning and super eerie and beautifully done.

Also–it’s super gay, y’all. I genuinely don’t care what they’ve said in interviews, it’s gay. That kiss was not platonic. That forehead touch was not platonic. THEY ARE NOT PLATONIC. If you watched that and said “wow, that’s just like me and my friends!” BOY DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

Also Nicole Kidman is the light of my life, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

I mean…maybe?? Again, I really really liked it, I just think the book might be better and maybe we should all go read that instead I’m just saying…….

But, if you were on the fence about it or think you do want to see it, I absolutely think you should because it is really good. Also like, I cannot get over how much I thought they were going to end on a really depressing note and I was about to be SO MAD and then WOW that sudden plot-twist turn-around in the last 10 minutes or so was iconic. So that’s another thing: if you’re worried about a depressing ending, it isn’t.

Also I mean if for some reason you’re like “wow my only two options for movies tonight are The Goldfinch and Alita: Battle Angel…” watch The Goldfinch.

All in all, I give The Goldfinch…

3.5/5 PUDGY LITTLE GOLDFINCHES!!!

MINIVIEW 5: THE ADDAMS FAMILY (2019)

MY THOUGHTS:

If you saw the trailers for this and you, like me, were like “oh boy I hope that’s actually good!” DO I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU BECAUSE YES. YES IT IS.

It is absolutely a fun family flick about the best family in the world, and I want to watch it again purely to be able to catch all the dorky little details they threw in because there are so many. You can tell they had so much fun making this and I’m glad, because I had a lot of fun watching it. The animation is a delight, the voice-acting is incredible, THE REMIX OF THE THEME SONG IS ACTUALLY REALLY CUTE, and the message about family and accepting who you really are and how being different is a good thing is super sweet.

So many of the characters had a really fascinating arc and it was fun to watch how those arcs were mirrored in some of the new original characters. Also YOU GET TO SEE MORTICIA AND GOMEZ’S WEDDING AND IT’S RIDICULOUS AND AMAZINGGGG

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

So fun fact: apparently all the character designs for this movie were based on the ORIGINAL designs from the ORIGINAL COMIC STRIP. YEAH. I didn’t even know that there was a comic strip before there was a TV show?? But there is! And the movie designs really look like the comic designs just walked off the page, it’s kind of really impressive.

Also Snoop Dogg voices Cousin Itt I–

ALSO the end credits are shot like the TV opening and the ENTIRE AUDIENCE DID THE SNAPS WHEN IT HAPPENED.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Honestly, yeah. I mean if you’re already kind of an Addams fan, I recommend going to see it. It’s super heartfelt and very sweet and fun.

If you just like quirky movies, yes.

If you want a whole lotta bloodshed I mean…uhhhh I’m sure there’s blood somewhere I forgot, I mean, it’s the Addams family.

All in all, I give The Addams Family…

4.5/5 BOMBS!!!

(I was gonna do swords because that’s a big thing but I realized that bombs works much better in honor of Puggsley and his whole character arc about being true to himself. It makes sense, I swear.)

TRAILERS WE HAVEN’T DISCUSSED YET: (I THINK…SOMETIMES I DON’T TOTALLY REMEMBER TBH OH WELL)

Crash course trailers HERE WE GOOOOO

Arctic Dogs is….a movie. That’s uh…really all I can say about this one.

Charlie’s Angels looks super good and I really hope it is good and I cannot WAIT to see itttttt

Last Christmas is a movie I have seen already and BOY are we gonna talk about that one. After I stop crying.

Brittany Runs a Marathon looks like it could be really decent. Or really preachy. Or both.

Ford v Ferrari looks like a real Oscar-bait of a movie but maybe it’s actually good. I dunno. I have such mixed feelings about racing because like I mean eh, also it’s really dangerous, but on the other hand….FAST CARS COOL.

Harriet looks beyond absolutely incredible.

Dark Waters looks so, so good and amazing. Mark Ruffalo is already the love of my life and this story looks incredible. I’m real excited.

Western Stars looks really sweet and uh…yeah.

Just Mercy looks…wow. I have a feeling it does not end happily at all but it looks incredible.

Doctor Sleep…okay look. I love Ewan MacGregor. I would do almost anything for him. EXCEPT see a Stephen King horror movie I will not do that for him I’m sorry Ewan.

Jojo Rabbit looks FANTASTIC and I’m SO EXCITED to see it I am adding Taika Waititi to the list of movie makers who own my soul thanks.

And that does it for the Miniviews!! I really enjoyed this batch of films. This will be in stark contrast to my next planned review because…well I saw Joker. And uh…yeah we’ll get to that.

Yesterday REVIEW

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In a drastic genre change from our last film, let’s talk about the Beatles!

So a while ago, I took myself, the fam, and some friends to the movies (okay, technically the friends took themselves and we all met there, but I have to keep up the intro for continuity’s sake) and we saw Yesterday, a movie that answers a question I don’t think any of us even asked: what would happen if literally everyone except maybe like three people just…forgot about the Beatles?

I say this in a gently mocking tone because yeah, the movie’s premise is kind of ridiculous. I mean…what?

But with the exception of the included music by the Beatles, Yesterday is a brand-new story not based on anything except wacky imaginations and for that, it already has a good score in my book.

The rest of the good score it earned by being lovable, fun, heartwarming, thought-provoking, and a damn good time.

So what exactly happens in this movie?

THE PLOT

We start the film by following Jack (Himesh Patel), a “struggling musician” as the IMDB plot refers to him, and I mean yeah, he’s not exactly paying the bills with his music but he’s making time to do something he loves and that’s important, okay?

(This review clearly being written by a struggling artist herself, leave me alone)

Jack is close in particular with his best friend and manager, Ellie (Lily James!!! I love her!!! So much!!!!!). The two of them go around playing less-than-stellar gigs while bantering and being generally adorable.

One night, when Jack is on his way home from a festival, a world-wide blackout occurs and Jack is thrown off his bike by a bus. He wakes up in the hospital with Ellie telling him that while he is okay, he did lose his two front teeth in the fall and therefore people will definitely be laughing at him *shrug emoji*.

At his coming home party, Jack gets a few presents from friends, including a brand-new guitar from Ellie (she!! Is!!! The best!!!!). Jack plays it and sings a snippet of “Yesterday” by the Beatles, of course, but nobody recognizes it. Ellie asks him when he wrote that song, and when Jack says he didn’t…it’s by the Beatles….it’s one of the greatest songs of all time by one of the greatest bands of all time….one of his friends says, hilariously, “well it’s not Coldplay. It’s not ‘Fix You.'”

Jack has somehow woken up in a world where the Beatles never existed (along with a few other things. This is probably one of my favorite elements of the film, as Jack keeps discovering things that are now nonexistent–Coca-Cola, cigarettes, Harry Potter, so on and so forth). So now…I mean, what does he do? He’s been presented with a golden opportunity: he is the only person (so it seems) who knows all these incredible songs, and he’s always wanted to be a famous musician…

Or has he? As Jack becomes more famous with these “stolen” songs, he learns more and more what fame is really like, and he’s not sure it’s all it’s cracked up to be–especially when it costs him his best friend and the love of his life.

THE REVIEW

Y’ALL.

Because the premise is genuinely just so…huh? I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect going into this film, and I was beyond pleasantly surprised. Yesterday has so much going for it, and it touches on so many things without ever becoming overwhelming or like, bad, in any way.

It’s been getting less-than-favorable reviews from what I’ve seen, which is a shame if you’re someone who only sees movies based off of what famous reviewers say. Like…listen, I love and support most of my fellow critics, but I think in the case of this movie, we all need to chill out a little.

Here’s Hollywood giving us a dorky, original storyline and y’all are like…”IT’S A BEATLES MOVIE WITHOUT THE BEATLES!!!” Like…..duh? That’s…that’s the point?? What…what did you expect??? I…I have concerns.

One review complained that the movie focused too much on Jack and not enough on Ellie, that it pushed women to the side too much. And to be fair, this movie could have had a female protagonist and nothing would have changed, I don’t think. But can we take a breath and appreciate that the movie has a POC protagonist? And that’s never presented as anything other than completely normal? Also–mixed-race romantic relationship?? ANYONE???

Look, we all have things that push us over the edge when it comes to movies. I mean…just look at my Toy Story 4 review. I get it and I admit I have that, too! But I think we need to calm down and stop cancelling things entirely just because they don’t have one thing that we think is important.

I mean, I can’t help you if your main complaint is that the Beatles weren’t in this movie because…I…that’s the whole…plot? But if your complaint is about women being pushed aside (she’s?? A major character??) or something of the like, let’s appreciate things the movie does right–because if we cancel everything that comes out of Hollywood because it doesn’t have all representation at all times, we’ll never get anything. It’s a sucky fact, but there it is.

The point is, this movie has so much to offer and I think everyone should give it a chance. If you’re still skeptical (WHERE?? ARE THE BEATLES??????) then let’s take a journey to an alternate universe together and dissect what exactly it is that makes this movie such a unique gem.

Spoiler warning is now in effect!!

THE MUSIC

Most of the music is, in fact, songs by the Beatles so we know it is, just as the movie says, great. Even my dad who admits to not being the biggest Beatles fan (please don’t come after him, it’s not his fault) still liked the movie and how it presented everything.

I guess the major complaint people have is that the songs were not played in their entirety, or something.

Which…um…I don’t know how to tell you this…this is…this is a movie? It’s….it’s not a concert? It never marketed itself as a movie musical that would feature full-length songs? And, dare I say it, the songs aren’t actually the point?

I mean, I do get it. Both Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman featured mostly full-length if not full-length versions of the songs we know and love, but the difference is that Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman were both marketed as biopics about those artists. Yesterday isn’t a biopic, it’s a quirky movie that happens to involve a plot point that uses songs by the Beatles. Did we all get this offended when Across the Universe came out??

I mean…maybe we did, I was in middle school when that movie came out and I wasn’t really down with the movie scene times.

The fact is, any time a project uses someone or something well-known and loved that has a cult following, people are going to jump on it and call it imperfect no matter what–it’s just the nature of the beast. There have been bad reviews for Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman, and now Yesterday because Queen, Elton John, and the Beatles are all beloved icons and everyone has an opinion about how their stories should be represented, and there’s just no way to please everyone. We’re all very picky people, unfortunately.

Now, I get wanting a biopic about the Beatles–and that’s great! But that’s not what this movie is, so maybe we all need to take a step back and stop criticizing it for something it’s not.

I have read that some people seem to be miffed because Himesh Patel sings the songs and not…the Beatles themselves, but again that’s…that’s the point? The fact that he’s singing songs that aren’t actually his is the entire plot of the movie.

All this to say, look–the music itself is the Beatles (with fun cameo songs by Ed Sheeran!) so it’s great, and it’s all sung by Himesh Patel (Lily James helps a little in the beginning) and it’s good!

All of the little instrumental interludes written by Daniel Pemberton are also great.

THE CHARACTERS

As I’ve said before, I personally can’t get behind a film if I don’t love the characters, and this movie is great at presenting a plethora of characters to love…even when they’re idiots sometimes.

Jack, our main man, is fantastic. He fits the struggling artist bill perfectly, and I didn’t find him unlikeable in any way. Is he a bit dense? For sure! But you can see why Ellie’s been in love with him forever. He’s charming, quirky, a complete dork, filled with anxiety…he’s great millennial representation, basically. Even when he gets famous and starts being really stupid, you just get the feeling that he’s overwhelmed and truly doesn’t know how to handle it all (plus he’s constantly plagued by the fact that the songs that made him famous are not his own lol #rip). In my opinion, Jack is a great protagonist to follow–this is a tricky story, because again, the Beatles are beyond beloved for the modern audience, and to have a character just steal all their songs and get famous off it is like, a crime against passion and art and beauty or whatever!!! But Jack is genuinely sympathetic. He’s a mess of a human being, and really, wouldn’t we all do the same if we were in his shoes?

(Don’t try to be all high and mighty and say you wouldn’t.)

Jack knows that the Beatles are beloved and are considered musical geniuses and icons–he says as much every time he gets interrupted when playing one of their songs. He gets the indignity of the entire situation, but he also sees an opportunity, one he’s waited for his entire life…Can we blame him, really? Plus it makes him all the more lovable when he gives the Beatles credit near the end and puts out all their songs for free for everyone. What a guy!

Ellie is perfection personified.

…alright maybe I’m biased because I’m genuinely in love with Lily James, but I really, really like Ellie as a character. Am I also biased because I, too, have been in love with an idiot for years only for it to lead to nothing because he is, in fact, an idiot? Yeah, probably. But listen–all that aside, Ellie is still just…she’s great. She’s cute, she’s confident, she’s fun, she’s supportive and smart, she’s everything Jack could want but he’s too much of an idiot to see it!! I think Ellie’s arc is really beautiful and really well done. She’s been sidelined by Jack for years, and when he continues to do that to her, she’s the one who says enough is enough, I’m tired of this, I love you but I’m moving on. She pursues a relationship with a guy who actually treats her like the goddess she is. She’s the one who stops the potential tryst with Jack in the hotel because she knows him, she knows he won’t pick her over his music. Ellie is incredibly strong and a great backbone for the movie.

Because the film is primarily a character drama focused on Ellie and Jack, the other characters don’t really mean as much. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Ed Sheeran playing himself is fantastic, and he does great. I mean he had to say “why not change the title of the iconic Beatles song Hey, Jude to Hey, Dude” with a straight face. Amazing. Iconic. 11/10.

Kate McKinnon shines as the evil, money-obsessed producer/manager that kind of answers the question “what if fame had gotten to Ellie like it did to Jack?” And it’s fantastic. She’s playing a caricature because that’s what her character is, and let’s be real, that’s what McKinnon really shines at.

Jack has a friend who steps in as manager on tour and I do not remember his name and I feel bad, but he was funny.

THE QUESTION

I will now attempt to dive deeper into all the various themes the movie covered, but again, I really think you have to see this one for yourself to fully grasp it all, because it tackles a lot in its 116-minute runtime.

So the most obvious question that even the trailer brought up: is it the music that makes the person famous, or is it the personality behind the music that brings the fame? The movie tackles this question in kind of an interesting way, and they just happen to do it with one of the most beloved bands of all time.

(How many times have I described the Beatles as “beloved” already? Is someone tallying?)

The movie suggests that it’s the music itself that is the pull, that it’s the music that is the important thing. Jack became incredibly famous as a solo artist singing songs by the Beatles. His personality didn’t matter–it was all thanks to the music. We see how much of a failure Jack was with his own songs, and it wasn’t until he started performing Beatles songs that he got noticed, got an album recorded, got noticed by Ed Sheeran, so on and so forth.

We live in kind of an unfortunate time right now, where artists and creators we love and claim to know are being accused of horrific things left and right. We’re left behind with the work they created and we have to ask ourselves…can I still enjoy this thing? Am I able to separate the creator from the creation?

Yesterday suggests that this is not only possible, but important. While a piece of the creator is always attached to whatever the creation is, it’s crucial to realize that there is something enjoyable and beautiful in the creation itself.

After Jack admits he stole all the songs and releases them for free, we see him teaching “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” to a bunch of students who are having the time of their lives. It suggests that even though Jack smothered his own name and became known as a fraud, the songs themselves remained popular and important to the culture as a whole. The world separated Jack from the music because it had to, he didn’t really give them a choice, and enjoyment could still be found.

Is this even a point the movie was trying to make? Eh, maybe not. But it’s something you can definitely glean from it, and it’s a question we have to tackle as more and more creators get famous.

We cannot idolize anyone because nobody is perfect, but that does not mean that we cannot find something beautiful in what they give us.

THE FAME

Every time another news story breaks about another Hollywood star going to rehab, or killing someone, or just being a general complete mess, my mom and I love to discuss fame as a whole. Specifically, her favorite question is this: do we naturally idolize messed-up people, or does fame take nice people and mess them up?

Yesterday suggests, thankfully, that fame tends to mess up nice people. While Jack certainly doesn’t begin perfect, he’s a nice enough person and thankful for what he has. But he’s always craved fame, and once he gets it, it absolutely destroys him and the most important relationship in his life: Ellie.

Being constantly fawned over, obsessed over, talked about, it all so easily went to his head that by the time he realized that wasn’t actually what he wanted and he wasn’t even happy? It was too late.

Every time something bad comes out about an artist we’re particularly fond of, we’re all Ellie. We think we know them, we praise them, we love them, and then suddenly, they’re not who we thought they were at all. It’s a personal blow (it actually is to Ellie because she does actually know Jack, but it feels like a personal blow to us because we feel like we actually know them).

It’s established early on that all Jack wants is to be a famous musician because he’s convinced that will make him happy. Anyone who’s ever wanted to be famous for something understands that, because the glorification of fame and famous people convinces us that that will make us happy. But when he does have all that stuff? He’s miserable.

I do think that it may have been different if he’d gotten famous off his own work rather than stolen work, because then the guilt wouldn’t have been at play as much, but the fact remains: he was still doing what he loved, and he wasn’t happy.

This all comes to a head in a really beautiful scene where Jack goes to the home of, wait for it, JOHN LENNON (played wonderfully by Rumplestiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle). Because the Beatles never existed in this alternate timeline/universe/whatever, Lennon was never famous. Instead, he spends his days in his quiet beach house, painting. Jack and Lennon have a real low key, sweet conversation about happiness. When Jack sees that Lennon is truly happy, even though he doesn’t even know what he’s missing out on in the timeline/universe/whatever where he is a Beatle and all, Jack gets it. He gets what he’s been missing out on, too.

He admits he’s a fraud. He gives away all the Beatles songs for free. He runs off with Ellie into the sunset. He becomes, I’m assuming, a music teacher. He and Ellie have kids. He’s truly and genuinely happy for…pretty much the first time the entire film.

Now, of course, I’m sure there are celebrities who are perfectly nice and wonderful and are actually happy, but…we don’t know that, do we? We don’t know anything about them except for the face they show us.

No one in the film, really aside from Ellie, knew Jack at all. They continued to not like any of the songs he actually wrote, only becoming obsessed with the Beatles songs. And that messed him up.

THE ROMANCE

So remember how in my really snarky Toy Story 4 review, I was real miffed about how the trailers really highlighted Gabby and especially Forky as key characters, and then that wasn’t really the case and it was something else entirely? A romantic drama movie masquerading as something else?

Yesterday did the complete opposite–this movie advertised as a funky little story about nobody remembering the Beatles, and then SURPRISE it’s actually?? A romance???

I mean Ellie was heavily featured in a lot of the promotional art, but I just?? Wasn’t expecting this???

What’s beautiful about the romance in Yesterday is that it actually serves a purpose. It’s a crucial part of the plot for Jack to realize how he feels about Ellie because that helps him realize what actually makes him happy and what he actually wants out of life–it completes his arc.

As cynical as I was about the romance over friendship arcs featured in How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World, Avengers: Endgame, and Toy Story 4, I loved the choices made in this film to feature a romance. Like I’ve said–I’m a huge sucker for a good romantic plot when it’s done well.

What’s especially nice here is that I think it is done well. There was never a question of romance vs. friendship because it’s established from the beginning that Ellie and Jack are best friends for life first. It was developed in such a way that we knew and supported both of these characters. We weren’t robbed at all because we didn’t have to watch Jack say goodbye to his friends and run off into the sunset with some girl who got 20 minutes of screentime. Ellie and Jack have a great love story that is everything we should want–they’re best friends as well as romantic partners. And it makes sense to root for them.

It’s even realistic in that Ellie pines for him, Jack is an idiot, Ellie tells him, Jack is an idiot, they kiss but Ellie stops it going further, Jack is an idiot, Jack goes to stop her from leaving and she’s hopeful for a moment, but then Jack is an idiot, Ellie tries to move on with someone who actually thinks of her that way, Jack is an idiot, so on and so forth. I do think that a story could have been told without all the romantic drama, but it couldn’t be the same one. Ellie and Jack are so much more than romantic partners–they’re just partners. They’re best friends and soulmates. The drama is crucial for Jack to realize what it is he really wants and what it is that will actually make him happy in life.

Say what you will about cliches and romance being unnecessary, I get it. But I don’t think you could have told the same story without it. Ellie and Jack are both flawed, likable characters, and their relationship is a joy to watch from start to finish.

THE ENDING

In a time where happy endings and happy characters are not allowed in tv shows, it was like a true breath of fresh air to watch Yesterday. Jack abandons everything he thought would make him happy to embrace what truly does. He finds meaning in the people and music in his life. He knows just how soul-sucking fame can be, so he’s all the more grateful and appreciative of what he has as a teacher. He and Ellie marry, have a family, and most importantly, have each other. Jack’s picture perfect happy ending isn’t the happy ending for everyone–marriage and romance isn’t as important to some people as it is to others. But what we should focus on taking away from the ending is that finding and focusing on whatever makes you truly happy is worth more than anything.

In kind of a funny twist, the timeline never gets fixed. Or explained. Why did Jack and two other random people get transported to an alternate world where the Beatles never existed? *shrug emoji*

Why do Coca-cola, cigarettes, and Harry Potter also not exist in this world? *shrug emoji*

What…happened? *shrug emoji*

I dunno. Maybe in another timeline, I’m really pissed off about that never being explained, but here? I don’t really mind it all that much. It suggests that there’s a version of the world where everything can work out, where you can pursue happiness and actually find it…and I like that. So maybe on my own bad days, I can focus on the idea that somewhere, somehow, some version of myself is doing just fine.

Is that reading too much into it? Probably.

But I prefer movies that make me think about stuff like that, instead of stuff like “why did the dog have to get killed there was literally no reason for that also why did she paint dog blood on her face why is she like this.”

*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

This is one of those movies where I completely understand if it isn’t for you. It’s weird. It’s quirky. THEY DON’T PLAY THE FULL-LENGTH VERSIONS OF BEATLES SONGS!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But I think if you give it a chance, you may just really enjoy it.

Or not. I don’t know you, I don’t know your life.

This movie is refreshing. It’s an original, zany idea, with good characters, and lots to think about. It’s funny. It’s ridiculous. It’s over-the-top.

Ed Sheeran is incredibly self-aware and it’s a little frightening, but good.

The scene with Robert Carlyle as John Lennon will probably make you cry.

It’s just…it’s unique. And I think Hollywood needs that right now.

Overall, I give Yesterday…

5/5 BEETLES!!!

I tried to make them look cute and appealing but they kind of just look like they want to steal your soul. just like fame wants to steal your soul.

Lily James’s outfits make up one whole beetle of that rating. Lily James herself makes up another whole beetle. Lily James is a delight, okay?

FAVORITE MOMENT:

I have?? So many??

But there’s something about that John Lennon beach house scene. It’s beautifully shot and delightful. There’s also something to be said for the scene where the only other two people who remember the Beatles confront Jack but it’s only to thank him because they miss the Beatles’ music and neither of them can sing.

“OOF” MOMENT:

When Jack left Ellie in the diner. You fool!!! Imbecile!!!! THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE YOU ABSOLUTE MONGOOSE.

Nothing against mongoose (mongeese?).

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

So we start off with The Peanut Butter Falcon which looks like it might be really super good but also could potentially be really super depressing and emotionally draining and I just have to prep for that.

Ad Astra just gets more confusing every time I see a new trailer for it. What is it about? What is happening? Space????

The Goldfinch looks absolutely incredible. I never read the book, but now I really want to. I hope it’s good.

And that about does it for this review! If you are looking for a night of escapism to a quirky, feel-good world with good characters and have I mentioned Lily James, I definitely recommend you check out Yesterday.