OH HEY EVERYONE.

So like I mentioned when I started this blog, I have that AMC A-List thing which means I have the opportunity to go see quite a lot of movies!

Which is super fun until I have absolutely no motivation to review them and then the other parts of my life start kicking up and then I get distracted by other things (namely, and I’m 100% serious: My Singing Monsters Composer. #notsponsored)…yeah.

So I finally sat down to do a tally this morning, and realized that I have seen SIX movies lately that I haven’t reviewed. Like a FOOL. Now because I don’t know how to say anything concisely, those six full-fledged reviews would take a loooooooong time. And I realized that of those six, there aren’t really any that stood out in such a significant way that I’d want to write a full-fledged review about them (with the exception of Booksmart because…Y’ALL. But in that case, just take my word for it and go see it because I cannot fully put into words how delightful it is).

So this post is a catch-up of sorts: I’m gonna do a mini review (or miniview if you will, because…reasons) for each of those six films and just crash-course them to the essentials. So without further ado, let us go!

MINIVIEW 1: BOOKSMART

MY THOUGHTS:

I cannot say enough about this movie. I have seen it three times now and I will be seeing it many more. It’s clever, it’s funny, it’s raunchy (but not too much), it’s an absolute delight from start to finish. The acting is amazing, the directing is great, it’s so beautifully shot, and the music?? THE MUSIC?? Spotify has something called “The Official Booksmart Playlist” which features all the songs used in the film plus little commentary clips from composer and arranger Dan the Automator and director Olivia Wilde, which is ridiculously fun if you’re a mega nerd like me. It’s just so obvious that so much love and care was put into this film, and it feels like a love letter to high school and buddy cop movies alike. Plus, it’s incredibly quotable. I know that I was skeptical because the trailer made it seem like…I mean it could be good, but…it could also be really not good. But it’s so, so good. Please do yourself a favor and see it. It does exactly what movies should do: allow you an escape alongside characters you can love in a story you can enjoy and appreciate.

There are so many little things that I love: the casual all-gender restroom scene, the main relationship focus being a positive and supportive female friendship, Amy doesn’t have a plot line about discovering she’s gay and dealing with that it’s just who she is, Molly doesn’t have a plot line about being plus-size and dealing with that it’s just who she is…I could go on and on forever.

Plus–IT’S AN ORIGINAL STORY!!! It’s not a remake!! It’s not a sequel!! It’s not based on a book!!! IT JUST EXISTS!!!!!!!!!!

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

The movie is shot and written in such a way that you judge all of Molly and Amy’s classmates the same way they do, so that when each classmate’s story is revealed by the end, you’re kind of ashamed of yourself for judging them like Molly and Amy do…because you experience everything with them, you feel everything with them, too. When Molly and Amy come crashing into graduation and all their classmates cheer? Iconic. You want to cheer as well. When Molly talks about each classmate and how she’s learned who they really are? You have, too! It’s such a fun way to experience the story and I just love everyone and I’M FULL OF FEELINGS.

Every character has a story that serves to flesh them out as an individual and make them likable…Unlike, say another movie I could mention…….

*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

Also–that underwater scene at the party????? I CANNOT.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

YES.

Overall, I give Booksmart…

6/5 SCHOOL BOOKS!!!

Seriously, it’s such a good time, and it suffered at the box office opening weekend because it came out alongside Aladdin (we’ll get to that) and John Wick (we will not get to that). We want more movies like this, fam.

MINIVIEW 2: UGLYDOLLS

MY THOUGHTS:

I struggled with what to say about this one because I know it got a lot of negative reviews when it came out. I was excited because I’m generally a sucker for musical movies, I’m very nostalgic for Uglydolls, and Janelle Monáe is in it. Once I saw it, I guess the reason I didn’t relate to all the negative reviews is because like…this is very clearly a kids’ movie. You can’t review it like a movie movie because it never presents itself as such. Unlike, say, the How to Train Your Dragon franchise. HTTYD is a series for kids based off a bunch of kids’ books, sure, but it is presented in such a way with serious themes that it’s a family film, rather than a kids’ film. Uglydolls never tries to invoke serious themes like HTTYD does, or like most Pixar movies do (….most). If you just appreciate it for what it is, it’s a very well-done kids’ movie. It’s not a great adult/family movie because it never tries to be: it’s a kids’ movie, guys. Chill out.

Am I biased because Kelly Clarkson and Janelle Monáe are in it? Most definitely. But this is a solid, fun, feel-good movie.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

The animation is to die for, but what really stands out to me is the overall message of the film: beauty standards are dumb.

This film serves as such a huge kick in the teeth to the beauty industry and society as a whole that I just have to applaud it? I mean the main antagonist is a white, blonde guy who decides what makes everyone else beautiful even though he looks nothing like most of them. There’s a girl who needs glasses but she’s afraid to wear them because she’s been told they make her less beautiful. All of the Uglydolls are told they’ll never be wanted because they’re not perfect enough. And even then, when they try to conform to the ridiculous beauty standards Nick Jonas’s character sets, he still doesn’t accept them. The good ending only comes when they all realize that they’re beautiful and perfect just the way they are–do you even know how important it is for kids to hear messages like that in the media? They’re growing up in a world where fat-shaming, photoshopping, and racism in the beauty industry run rampant and are hardly ever called out (although they are more so now). The more kids learn to be comfortable with exactly who they are and how they look, the less power the beauty industry has over them. And that’s phenomenal.

And to the reviewer who complained that the message of the movie was completely contradicted because the Uglydolls aren’t actually ugly, they’re adorable? That’s the whole damn point, my dear. The Uglydolls represent everyone who has been told by society that they are not enough for whatever reason, but they are enough. They’re not ugly, of course they’re not. No one is ugly. Society tries to tell us there are people who are ugly and people who are perfect, but the point is that that is not true at all: everyone is beautiful and wonderful just the way they are, no matter what.

Plus, super fun songs. I mean, Kelly Clarkson’s Moxie singing to herself “look how much you weigh! And you couldn’t look better!!” WE STAN A QUEEN.

You know what movie doesn’t have fun songs to get the message across??

…okay a lot of them don’t, but SPECIFICALLY *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look, it’s super cute and fun. It’s sweet and pure and has really cute and genuinely funny moments (Gibberish Cat gets me every damn time) and I do think that if you have kids, they’ll enjoy it, and you might, too. Please teach the kids in your life that they are beautiful and smart and brave and wonderful just the way they are.

Overall, I give Uglydolls…

4/5 UGLYDOLLS!!!

I personally didn’t think it was the mess that reviews made it out to be. Could I be biased? 100% absolutely. So decide for yourself. AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE GORGEOUS, WITH OR WITHOUT GLASSES OR WHATEVER.

MINIVIEW 3: DETECTIVE PIKACHU

MY THOUGHTS:

I KNEW EVERYONE WAS CRYING ABOUT THE BULBASAURS BUT THAT STILL DIDN’T FULLY PREPARE ME AND I WAS SOBBING ABOUT BULBASAURS

*ahem* So anyway.

I think Uglydolls and Detective Pikachu are similar in that they both very specifically knew their audience. Where Uglydolls was directly aimed at kids, Detective Pikachu was directly aimed at kids obsessed with Pokémon as well as adults like me who grew up with Pokémon and are fully willing to cry about Bulbasaurs.

So with all that in mind, I thought it was absolutely delightful. It was cute, well-animated and well-acted, and I just…Ryan Reynolds. As Pikachu. I never knew I needed that.

Was the plot twist completely predictable? Of course. Was it cheesy and goofy and unrealistic? 112%. But it was so much fun and just…I loved it?

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

I think what made the movie work, despite the ridiculousness and the predictability and the goofiness is that it truly was a love letter to the franchise. Remember when Pokémon Go came out and we all lost our collective minds because oh my god there’s a Squirtle in my living room??! They captured that magic yet again with this film, but tenfold. So much love and care was put into every Pokémon that appeared, down to how they interacted with the modern world around them in the most minute ways. Their designs were faithful to the original but adapted just enough to make them fit in (unlike, say for example completely randomly……Sonic the Hedgehog…..)

It was literally like watching my childhood come to life on the big screen and it was just…it was amazing.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

It really depends. If you love Pokémon, absolutely. It’s so fun and precious and wonderful. But if you have no idea what Pokémon is and the entire thing about Bulbasaurs confused you, I think you can skip it. The downside of this film is that I really don’t think it has anything to offer anyone who’s unfamiliar with the franchise. But that being said, it never promised to and it doesn’t have to. It was made for people that are already fans of the franchise, and for once, it’s an adaptation that is both faithful and completely new. It’s filled with love and that is so nice to see, especially when compared to…The Sun is Also a Star. Or probably like, say, *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*. Although I don’t know for sure on that one since I came in completely unfamiliar with the source material. I just like bringing it up whenever I can.

Overall, I give Detective Pikachu….

4/5 POKÉMON THAT MADE ME CRY!!!!

Seriously. Look at that Bulbasaur. Look at his little green Bulbasaur face.

MINIVIEW 4: ROCKETMAN

MY THOUGHTS:

Let’s establish that I was probably completely biased coming into this film as well because Taron Egerton, first of all, and the love of my life Jamie Bell. That is all.

This movie is incredibly well done. I loved the framing element of Elton John being in AA as we cut back and forth to his life story, and all the music scenes with the dancing and just…it was all super fun.

I do know (because this is just what people do I guess) that a lot of people have compared this to last year’s Bohemian Rhapsody and the general consensus seems to be that Rocketman is somehow better. I genuinely think the only way you can compare these films is to mention that they’re both a form of biopic documenting some iconic musicians, and also both Freddie Mercury and Elton John were in incredibly abusive relationships with their managers at one point (and they both overcame it!). But Bohemian Rhapsody was explicitly shot like a concert whereas Rocketman is explicitly shot like a movie musical, or even a music video. They have completely different points and reasons for the story being told, and one isn’t necessarily “better” than the other one. You’re welcome to like one more than the other, of course, but they’re both good movies. Bohemian Rhapsody was swarmed in controversy because of the director, but a movie is so much more than its director, and if that’s the reason you’re dismissing it, you need to rethink it. Both these films are incredibly well-done and amazing. Elton John himself had good things to say about Rocketman, and Queen themselves worked right alongside everyone for Bohemian Rhapsody.

They’re both good films, everyone. Enjoy them for what they are and form your own opinions of course–but don’t compare these two films and raise one up for the sake of knocking the other one down.

Compare them to Alita: Battle Angel and knock that one down.

(Kidding, sort of…I know lots of people really liked Alita and that is…so great for them)

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

I have a huge weakness for self-love plotlines, so the whole scene near the end where Elton John got to confront everyone in his life including his own past self had me bawling. It’s a beautifully shot scene and it’s such a satisfying way to lead in to the end of the story.

Also, in general all the over-the-top dancing for the musical scenes. Super fun and ridiculous and I loved every second of it.

Also also, Taron Egerton and Jamie Bell. MY SONS.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

I think so. Even if you’re not a huge Elton John fan, you’ve likely heard at least a couple of his songs, and it’s just a good story that’s told in a beautiful and fun way.

Plus like….Taron Egerton……y’all.

(Fun Fact: this is actually the second time Taron Egerton has sung “I’m Still Standing” for a movie! I think this should be a career requirement for him from here on in)

Overall, I give Rocketman…

4.5/5 ELTON JOHN SUNGLASSES!!!

These by no means match the most fun ones both in existence and in the film, but it’s a fun taste. Go see the movie to see more of them!!

MINIVIEW 5: MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

MY THOUGHTS:

So I will freely admit that I haven’t read reviews for this one since I wanted to go in blind, and I only saw it…last week? I think? Anyway. But I guess it’s getting bad reviews because I got a YouTube notification that was something like “why MIB: International completely bombed” and I…wasn’t aware that it had?

I went with a couple friends and we were in a BIG theatre that was completely full, and everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. This might be another example of “critics hated it because they have no souls but audiences generally liked it” (wait–do I have to count myself as a critic now? NOOOO DON’T LUMP ME IN WITH THEM).

Here’s the thing: it’s not the original movie. It can’t be. The original is iconic and hilarious and wonderful and nothing can ever be that one. What I appreciate is that this film never tries to be the original, and maybe that’s why people didn’t like it? I dunno. It is completely and fully its own story, with its own characters and own aliens and own conflicts. It’s original and unique and goofy.

It’s an incredibly fun time. All the characters are likable and fun, and I totally thought I knew the twist and I thought they were hinting at it and THEN THEY SWITCHED AROUND THE TWIST ON ME AND IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY SO THAT’S GREAT.

Is it a standout, knockout, over-the-top amazing film? Nah.

But it is well-done and a damn good time.

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

There’s a light hint of it, but I am proud to report that there is absolutely no romance between Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth’s characters. Huzzah! More than anything, they have an incredible friendship and an incredible partnership.

The special effects are absolutely incredible.

Tessa Thompson wears a suit just like all the other agents (although she does have some kickass fun combat boots).

Emma Thompson is in charge of the American branch and she’s killin it.

Tessa Thompson’s character stops a fight by using relationships and a prior friendship, but she can also hold her own in a fight and she’s probably a lot more capable than Chris Hemsworth–

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh.

Is this why everyone was mad? Because Tessa Thompson saved Chris Hemsworth multiple times and was probably a better agent than him? Because Emma Thompson is in a position of authority?

Ahhhhhhh it all makes sense now. It was more a Women in Black film than a Men in Black film, and that’s why people are pissed…

I mean no one seemed to be mad about Alita being all kickass and whatever in her movie…is it because her character was presented in a much more sexualized way than the women in MIB: International were? Yeah. Yeah that’s it probably.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Yep. Not only is it a fun time, it’s also pissing off older white guys because it has powerful female characters! So go support it!!

(Also–if you were worried like I was that Kumail Nanjiani’s mini alien character would just be annoying the whole time, rest assured that he was genuinely entertaining and extremely lovable and fun)

Overall, I give Men in Black: International…

3.75/5 MIB SUNGLASSES!!

I know I did sunglasses for Rocketman but like…it’s MIB…I couldn’t not…..

MINIVIEW 6: ALADDIN

MY THOUGHTS:

Like many of Disney’s upcoming live-action remakes (Lady and the Tramp??? REALLY???) I was convinced this was completely unnecessary and I was not excited for this…like at all.

I knew I should see it probably, but I kept avoiding it because like…eh. I really love the original animated movie, and this just didn’t look like it offered anything new.

Maybe it’s because I went in with such low expectations, but I’m happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It wasn’t like, absolutely amazing by any means, but I actually kinda liked it.

This is mostly due to Naomi Scott’s Jasmine, but we’ll get to her.

The additions to the story and the costumes are both beautiful, and if anyone can perform the genie instead of Robin Williams, it’s Will Smith. It’s a fun, quirky time and a really lovely film. Not incredible, but definitely good, actually. Again, though, I set the bar real low going into it.

Oddly enough, I think one of the low points of the film was actually Aladdin himself? Not that he wasn’t great, Mena Massoud did an excellent job, but the character himself was just kinda…there. Plus–have you seen Massoud’s natural curly hair?? So much better than what we got in the movie. I think they were trying to make him look like the animated version, but they already changed so much else, just let us have his natural curly hair!!! He is so lovely!!! GIVE US THE CURLS!!!!!

STANDOUT ELEMENT:

NAOMI SCOTT’S PRINCESS JASMINE. HANDS-DOWN.

I mean, she was good during the whole of the story, but when she sang “Speechless” and literally disintegrated all the men in her life telling her what to do?? ICONIC AND AMAZING AND SHE IS EVERYTHING.

Unsurprisingly, the guys who wrote “Speechless” also wrote the songs for The Greatest Showman (YAAAAAAAS) and La La Land (…meh). It’s an incredible standout power ballad that takes Jasmine’s character from decent to incredible. She takes center-stage in the best way, and all the little girls that wanna be Jasmine for Halloween this year? It’s gonna mean something completely different–it’s gonna mean being a princess who will not be silenced and will take power to do good.

Genuinely by the end I didn’t want Jasmine to end up with Aladdin because she doesn’t need him?? Like they can be bros I guess but she quite literally don’t need no man. This film should have been called Jasmine. She 100% stole the show and turned it into something else entirely in the best way possible.

Unlike, say, another movie named after the main girl….*cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*

Also–lots of fun political commentary if you know where to look. Especially if you wanna make parallels between Jafar and…someone else…

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Actually, yeah. This movie did what a remake should do (if remakes should do anything, that is, since many are unnecessary): it pays homage to what made the original so good while also adding something completely new that both makes this version good, too, while setting it apart as something different.

It’s a good time, and if you were skeptical like I was, you may just find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Also–you have to experience “Speechless.” You don’t watch or listen to “Speechless”–you experience it. No, really.

Overall, I give Aladdin (which should really be called Jasmine)…

3.5/5 HAPPY GENIE LAMPS!!!

Like I’ve said for some past films, it’s good. It’s not great, but it’s good.

TRAILERS WE HAVEN’T DISCUSSED YET:

K, crash course trailers, here we go:

1. Sonic the Hedgehog–release has been delayed because of the public outcry over Sonic’s…unique design. Fingers crossed they treat the animators/designers fairly and let them eat during all of this, but probably not. Jim Carrey as Eggman looks worth the price of admission alone, I love my son.

2. Godzilla: King of the Monsters–I know we have discussed this one, but there’s a new trailer where one of the scientist guys introduces Godzilla by breathily saying “Zillaaaaaaaaa” and it’s just…it’s the strangest and funniest thing ever.

3. Yesterday–I’m going to see this hopefully soon!! I love the premise and I hope it’s really good and fun like it looks. Plus, Lily James ❤

4. Blinded by the Light–uhhhhhhhh a movie by the team that made Bend It Like Beckham???? I AM SO THERE?????

5. Maleficent: Mistress of Evil–I’m curious to see what they do with this one because a sequel is so incredibly unncessary?? This is like if they announced a sequel to Toy Story 3, I mean, all the loose ends were tied up in a perfect way and it’s so good the way it is, what could you possibly–…oh, wait.

6. Crawl–Yeahhhh this is a big nope from me. This is like Anxiety: The Movie, and I’m not about that life. I barely survived watching Pet Sematary alone you guys, how on earth do you expect me to do survival-crocodile-jumpscare movie?? I do really like how the music for the trailer is all made by like, rhythmic water drips and flashlight-winding. That’s kind of fun.

7. Child’s Play–WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?? Really though, it looks like they updated the idea so that Evil Doll Chucky is connected to a sort of smart-home system, so it’s like…they update the horror story so it’s relevant to right now?? Fascinating. Also, absolutely horrifying. I don’t care how much I love you Mark Hamill, I refuse.

8. Where’d You Go, Bernadette–This is probably better than the trailers make it seem (also, that last trailer gives away?? Everything??). I love me some Cate Blanchett, and this just looks like a really delightful and fun heartwarming story about family or whatever.

9. Angel Has Fallen–I think this is the one where the president is attacked and the guy who saves him is under arrest for some reason and there were a lot of explosions?? I guess this is a sequel, and I honestly have no desire to see either one of these.

10. The Art of Racing in the Rain–YO CATCH ME CRYING IN THE THEATER WHEN THIS MOVIE COMES OUT, THIS BOOK IS SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND I AM SO READY TO SOB ABOUT A DOG WHO LOVES RACE CARS ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

11. Judy–I don’t have strong feelings about this one, but I’m sure it’s another well-made biopic about an icon and all that. I’ll probably see it.

12. The Kitchen–this looks like it could be really good and fun (but like, also violent) and I think I’ll try to see it.

13. Terminator: Dark Fate–mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no.

14. Maiden–This looks absolutely fascinating. I’m all about stories of women who blazed the trail in a male-dominated field for other women. Also like–boats!!

OKAY. That should be everything so we’re all caught up now. I think I’m gonna try to see Toy Story 4 this afternoon, or possibly tomorrow, and then that review WILL BE UP BY THE END OF THE WEEK, I SWEAR. REALLY I DO.

If these films are still playing where you are, check them out! I don’t regret seeing any of them, and they’re all enjoyable in their own way (particularly Booksmart).