Guillermo Del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities REVIEW

It’s been a very Guillermo Halloween for me this year, as I watched Crimson Peak for the first time, and have just finished Cabinet of Curiosities (both available on Netflix right now, if you too are so inclined to have a very Guillermo (extended) Halloween (as this review is coming out after Halloween, but c’mon–we can enjoy spooks all year round!)).

So how is the Cabinet?

It’s part strange, part horrifying, part mesmerizing, and all absolutely wonderful. In other words, it’s everything a cabinet of curiosities should be.

General Things

Like del Toro himself explains in the prologue of the first episode, the “cabinets” that the series takes its name from were actually collections of objects that largely originated in the 16th century (though some did exist prior to this–you know, before cabinets were cool). Often they were actually a room of curious items, rather than a cabinet or box (or the funky contraption del Toro uses in the prologue of every episode to introduce the piece).

In many ways, the cabinets were museums–celebrations of the weird and unusual in science and art. Famously, though, some of the objects were faked, such as “mermaids” or other creatures with human skulls and torsos attached for the sake of shock value (or maybe they were real–who’s to say?). At their heart, the cabinets were, as the name suggests, a celebration of our natural curiosity for the world around us and everything in it.

Although the term has been coined in recent years to represent more horrific and fantastical objects rather than a celebration of the wonders of the natural world as is, well…who are we to argue how those two sides can be connected? Is it not horrifying that many species will eat the heads of their mate? Is it not eerie that there are carnivorous plants? Is it not unsettling that more than 80% of the ocean remains unexplored by us?

The point, I suppose, is that while this Cabinet of Curiosities is, at its core, a horror anthology, it does fit in beautifully with the original purpose of those initial cabinets–to celebrate and put on display the weird, the unusual, the strange, the unsettling, and yes, maybe even the real of the world around us.

Every episode is introduced by del Toro himself, as he unlocks a new section or opens a new door of a mysterious cabinet-esque contraption, laying out for us an object that ties in to the story we are about to enjoy, as well as a figurine of the director for each piece. I’ll discuss each episode in both a spoiler-free and spoiler-filled light, just in case you’d like to experience the Cabinet for yourself without fully knowing what lies in wait.

Episode 1: “Lot 36” directed by Guillermo Navarro

just your totally average storage unit, nothing to see here

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

Set in the 90’s, we follow military veteran and white supremacist Nick on his journey to get some super friendly debt collectors off his back. To get money, Nick buys storage units and sells whatever he can find inside that’s worth something (at least to him). Everything changes the day he buys lot 36 and attempts to get a price check for a unique occult table and set of books he finds inside.

Potential scare warnings include Nick being a racist asshole, an unsettling shot of an animal skull early on, and a demon tentacle monster doing demon tentacle monster things.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

Early on in the episode, we’re introduced to a very sweet house cleaner named Emilia. Due to a miscommunication, the manager of the storage building accidentally sold her unit to–you guessed it–Nick. Emilia pleads with Nick to get her stuff back, especially sentimental stuff that would have no value to him, but Nick refuses, throwing in a bunch of racist insults and slurs for good measure. Out of the “goodness” in his heart, he does give her the padlock to her old unit. Gee. Thanks.

(This will literally come back to bite him later)

After trying to get a price check for a wooden table he finds in lot 36, Nick is introduced to Roland, who offers a mighty sum for the table and the books found within. If Nick is able to find the elusive fourth volume, the money Roland will pay will absolutely cover Nick’s debts and then some. Nick and Roland head back to the storage lot, determined to chase down the fourth volume. Along the way, we learn with them that the owner of lot 36 made weapons for the Nazis during WWII–a kindred spirit, Nick!

We also learn why the fourth volume is so rare–the books are used to summon a demon, and the fourth volume actually burns to a crisp upon completion of the transaction and pact with said demon. Nick, of course, doesn’t believe any of this and just wants to find the fourth book so he can get paid.

Back in the unit, Roland uncovers a series of newspapers asking what happened to a socialite named Dotty, who apparently disappeared without a trace back in the 40’s. After Nick and Roland discover a false wall in the unit, they enter a cave that smells just super awesome. Following the cave, they enter a room where a mostly mummified body is laid out on a pentagram, intact except for the face, which is nothing but a large opening with some peeks of tentacles every now and then. In the back corner of the room, the elusive fourth volume sits on a stand, decidedly not burned to a crisp. Roland determines that this is in fact the missing Dotty they have just discovered–left to rot left to rot over the years and trap the demon inside her.

Nick, still money-obsessed, breaks the pentagram on the floor in his rush to the back of the room to grab the book. This, of course, was a bad idea, and the demon rises, chomping up Roland. The book burns in Nick’s hands, signalling that the contract has been completed with Roland’s death, but now Nick has a new problem–the demon is loose and doesn’t seem to be all that keen on letting Nick out alive. Nick runs, racing through the storage lot, desperate to find a way out. When he does finally find a door, it’s been locked from the outside.

Who should show up then but Emilia! Nick begs her to open the door and let him out, but instead, she holds up the padlock he had given her earlier. While Nick pleads, she simply places the padlock over the door and walks away, leaving Nick to a tentacly demise. Tentacle-y? Tentacley?

It’s an ending very reminiscent of the “My House” mug shot in Knives Out, which I like. It’s a quick and satisfying little comeuppance story, and while I appreciate the use of mercy in stories and I think there’s a world in which a story like this could be told where the Emilia character does help Nick, it was made very clear throughout that Nick would likely never change. Emilia could help him and he’d still yell at her for “not speaking his language in his country” or whatever. Horror is hard to stomach when a character we love dies–but it can also be a liiiiiittle bit therapeutic when a character like Nick gets what’s coming to them. There’s even a really nice scene where Nick argues with Eddie, the owner of the storage lot, about Nick’s time in the military. Nick complains about how he served his time and his country and so on and so forth and Eddie asks if he happened to notice how many black and brown bodies he stepped on in order to get back home. The story doesn’t make light of Nick’s service, but it does make clear that he’s still incredibly privileged and his status does not excuse his horrific behavior. Tentacle demons don’t discriminate when it comes to their meals, after all.

All in all, I really liked this one. I was left with a couple questions at the end as far as like, the identity of the original owner of lot 36 and why Roland seemed so knowledgeable, but I would also be willing to believe that I missed some things while watching it. It’s also entirely possible that details like that aren’t crucial to the overall story. Still, I’m detail-oriented.

The soundtrack by Tim Davies is incredible and as is true with any del Toro production, the monster effects were simply *chef’s kiss*.

Episode 2: “Graveyard Rats” directed by Vincenzo Natali

she seems nice ❤

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

For this story, we follow a graveyard caretaker named Masson. Though we initially meet him through a scene where he scares off and subsequently shames a couple of graverobbers, moments later we find out that Masson is a bit of a graverobber himself, though his specialty is ripping out gold fillings from the corpses and making money off of them. He drops this initial tooth, however, and when he goes to retrieve it, he’s bitten by a rat. He later tells the individual he usually sells to that he’s more behind than normal because of all the rats doing a bit of their own graverobbing. Desperate after being told he has to settle his debts soon or else, Masson visits a friend of his in the morgue (who is also in on the scheme). Masson learns of a recently deceased rich man whose mouth is FULL of gold fillings, but the morgue employee, Dooley, warns him to wait until after the funeral so the coroner doesn’t start asking questions. So Masson waits, choosing to go after the fillings after the funeral, but it’s a costly choice–there’s more to these graveyard rats than meets the eye.

Potential scare warnings include a whole lotta dead people, a whole lotta rats, skeleton monsters, rat monsters, and a LOT of claustrophobia. If any episodes of The Magnus Archives involving the Buried were ones you skipped, this episode will probably not be your cup of tea.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

When our buddy Masson opens the coffin to retrieve his gold filling payday, he’s shocked to see that the coffin is…empty? Yep–turns out the rats are actually stealing the entire damn body. Horrified both by this revelation and by what awaits him if he’s unable to pay off his debts, Masson somewhat overcomes his own claustrophobia and dives into the hole after the body and the rats. After fighting off a huge number of rats and surviving a rockfall, Masson awakens in some sort of underground tunnel system. The peace only lasts so long, as Masson catches sight of a massive hairless rat further down the tunnel, curled around other rats as if she’s feeding them. This queen rat seemingly disappears moments later, however…only to reappear and chase Masson further through the tunnels.

After narrowly escaping her, Masson ends up in a massive cavern filled with a wholeeeee lotta human bones. Initially panicked, Masson tries to escape, before a thought occurs to him…this is a whole lotta bodies with potentially a whole lotta gold fillings ripe for the taking. Now celebrating his luck, Masson moves deeper into the cavern, uncovering a number of riches as well as a fair amount of strange carvings on the wall with some sort of eerie creature depicted in them. Then, Masson stumbles upon a slightly more well-preserved corpse sporting a really nifty (and probably pricey) golden necklace. Thrilled, he rushes up to the corpse and, after some struggling, manages to snatch the necklace.

This, of course, kind of upsets the corpse (I mean, how would you feel if some random dude walked up to you and snatched your necklace?), who comes to life and starts chasing Masson through the caves and tunnels, screeching “MIIIIINE!” all the way. Masson runs, and just when he thinks he’s escaped the corpse, he finds the rat queen again. He manages to defeat her, but the angry corpse is still after him, so there’s no time to sit around and enjoy his victory. Masson is utterly lost however and starts choosing tunnels at random, hoping somehow he can find his way back to the surface.

Just when all seems lost, he spots light at the end of one of the tunnels. Grateful, Masson crawls towards it, relieved, only to discover it’s not outside light at all–it is in fact the reflection of his lantern light on the plaque on the inside of a coffin lid. Unfortunately, he doesn’t even get a chance to wallow in his misery, as he is promptly swarmed with rats and completely stuck with nowhere to go.

We see Masson again when the two graverobbers from the very beginning, having learned nothing, open the casket and recognize the caretaker. Before they can do anything, a rat emerges from Masson’s mouth, and as the graverobbers scatter, Masson is once again swarmed with rats. Rest in peace, my guy.

I liked this one a lot! Sure, I was left with questions about the underground area, but it was presented in such a way that while we never learned specifics, there were enough tropes to rely on that we figured it out. The rats, and the queen rat in particular, were clearly connected to the carving Masson found underground as well as the corpse with the necklace. Taking the ancient necklace was, obviously, a bad idea. We may not know exactly how the underground area came to be the way it was when Masson found it, but we don’t have to understand that to enjoy the episode. I think it would be a fascinating idea for a full-length film, but it works nicely as is.

The score by Jeff Danna is fantastic for setting up the general unease and creepy crawly atmosphere. Also, naming one of the tracks “The Ascent to Hell” (when we’re all so used to referring to something as a descent to hell) is just incredible.

What did we learn from this one, kids? “Don’t do graverobbing if the rats in your area already staked their claim. Also, don’t steal ancient gold necklaces from corpses. That’s just rude.”

Episode 3: “The Autopsy” directed by David Prior

I’m sure those white tentacles in the poster are a totally normal bodily function. For sure. Don’t worry about it.

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

For this story, we follow a Dr. Winters, brought in by a friend to perform several autopsies in the aftermath of a strange and terrible incident. Winters’s friend Sheriff Craven explains the circumstances behind the incident when the two meet up–it’s a strange case of seemingly unconnected events that all led to one particular miner, a man named Joe Allen, using a strange device to set off an explosion, killing himself and several other miners in the process. What starts off as a routine albeit unusual autopsy turns into something far more sinister and surprising by the end of the night.

Potential scare warnings include, once again, a whole lotta dead people, as well as lots of organs and such (it is called The Autopsy for a reason, after all). There’s also the aforementioned explosion, some stabbing and slicing, and some tentacles (though not nearly as many as Lot 36, so there’s that).

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

While the main meat of the episode (ew, wrong choice of words for this subject matter, my bad) is the titular autopsy, there is a fair amount of time taken to focus on the events leading up to the explosion, that then leads up to the autopsy itself. While Craven goes into detail about the miner who caused the explosion, Allen, discussing how he apparently hadn’t seemed like himself lately, as well as about some dissected human remains the department had recently found in large black bags, Winters takes a moment to divulge that he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, having a few months to live at the most (this seems like an odd, sad detail in the moment but it does come into play later).

Perhaps the oddest thing about the whole incident, Craven explains, is that at one point, the police were actually in possession of the strange object Allen used in the explosion. Once they’d caught up with him, he had a moment where he could have run–instead, he grabbed the device and headed into the mine, blowing everything (and everyone) up. When Craven then asks if Winters would like him to stick around to keep him company during the autopsies, Winters tells him to head on home and get some sleep (this is, as you may imagine, a poor and unfortunate decision on his part). Now alone with the bodies, Winters starts a recorder to explain his findings to Craven as he carries on, and gets to autopsy-ing.

Though there are some odd details about some of the bodies, there doesn’t seem to be anything incredibly noteworthy, at least at the start. Winters makes note of some strange details as he carries on, but nothing can fully prepare him for the truth, which is….

ALIENS.

(oh, snap)

Yes, that’s right, the reason Allen had been acting so strange lately is because he was actually possessed by an alien parasite creature thing. With tentacles. The thing reanimates the supposedly dead Allen, knocking Winters out. When he comes to, he is strapped to one of the autopsy tables, which is when Alien Allen gets to monologuing about how in its true form, it’s weak in that it is essentially “senseless”–without any sensory organs of its own, it relishes finding hosts to inhabit and using their bodies to experience things, all while feeding off it from the inside. Alien Allen is suuuuuper excited about Winters, specifically because of his cancer. Alien Allen explains that it will essentially fuse minds with Winters, taking the cancer away because it will be feeding off of it, and doesn’t Winters want the cancer to be gone?

While Alien Allen begins splicing up Allen’s body to free the parasite self so it can then slide on into Winters, Winters desperately tries to think of a way to stop the creature, disgusted by the way it enjoys the pain of those it inhabits. As the real Allen dies with the parasite exiting him, he manages to offer the scalpel to Winters, at which point Winters understands everything: Allen caused the explosion because he knew about the parasite, and was trying to get rid of it. And now, with the gift of the scalpel, Winters can do what Allen couldn’t.

While the parasite slowly works its way over to Winters, the doctor gets to work. Stabbing his eardrums with the scalpel, and apparently gouging out his own eyes (I don’t remember that part specifically though it apparently happened, guess I blocked it out…I mean, can you blame me) Winters writes something on his chest in blood before finally slitting his own throat. We then cut to a sort of mystical-looking background, where Winters explains to the parasite through their now shared consciousness that it is now trapped in Winters’s dying and now disabled body–the parasite can’t use many of Winters’s sensory organs for its enjoyment because of how he mutilated them himself. Not only that, but Craven should be showing up soon, and Winters had left his recording on.

Craven does show up, crushed at the state his friend is in, but sees what Winters wrote on his chest with his last moments: instructions to play the recording and burn his body (and the parasite).

This one was devastating to be put through, but I did love it. Part of that is the impeccable acting put out by our leads (F. Murray Abraham, Glynn Turman, and Luke Roberts) but part of it is just how incredibly written and directed this piece is–everything is tied up neatly at the end, and the horror doesn’t win, ya know? Winters’s fate is horrendous, but he’s such a clever and likable character in just the hour or so that we know him, it would be doing him a huge disservice if he had ultimately been unable to take the parasite down with him.

Imagery that will absolutely stay with me forever is the way they cut between Winters performing the autopsies and Allen’s dead hand hanging off the table in the back room multiple times before revealing Allen had been reanimated. We’re used to that shot, where the hand hanging off the edge of the table suddenly twitches or moves, but they don’t play that card immediately and I love them for it. The suspense built up plays directly off of our expectations, and it works so, so well.

The score by Christopher Young is impeccable, and it adds so much in the terms of uncomfy vibes to the story as we learn what really went down.

(To be really nerdy for a second: the first piece featured in the episode, fittingly called “The Autopsy,” is almost…pleasant. It’s played before we know what’s actually happening, but while it isn’t outright scary like the other two pieces Young composed for the episode, something about it still seems…off. It reminds me a lot of the music he composed for the remake of Pet Sematary (my review of which can be found here!) because you would have songs like “Fielding Fine” which are genuinely lovely and nice, and then you’d have…the rest of them. I just think it’s a fascinating thing Young does in the things he composes for.

Anyway. Extra nerdy moment done for now.

But extra sidenote–revisiting my Pet Sematary review now is kinda funny because I make it VERY CLEAR I am no horror aficionado there…and now here I am, a few years later, purposefully watching and reviewing horror stuff because I enjoy it. I still wouldn’t classify myself as an aficionado for this kind of thing, but I do have a newfound appreciation for horror and what it is and can be.

Still don’t like the direction they took Pet Sematary in, though.)

Episode 4: “The Outside” directed by Ana Lily Amirpour

after seeing this one, the light blood splatters on the cutesy-looking title font for this poster make me big sad 😦

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

Welcome to our next story, where we follow a bank teller named Stacey. Stacey is a bit quirky. Though Stacey seems to have a perfectly delightful little life–nice job, nice husband, nice house, etc., she’s convinced that she’s stuck on the “outside,” particularly when it comes to the other women at work. They all look and act a certain way, and Stacey just doesn’t fit in with all that. Also she does taxidermy. So I mean. There’s that.

Everything changes, however, when Stacey gets invited to a Secret Santa party with her coworkers. She and the other women all receive a special kind of lotion called “Alo Glo” which is apparently all the rage and will fix everything wrong in your life, as lotion does. But because you just gotta kick a girl when she’s down, Stacey seems to be allergic to the magical Alo Glo and returns home with a nasty rash. If you thought all seemed to be lost for Stacey, however, fear not–everything’s about to change. So actually, maybe you should fear…

Potential scare warnings include taxidermy and the process of making it, lots of skin stuff because of Stacey’s rash, stabbing, blood, and if you’re more sound-sensitive, lots and lots of squelchy noises because of the lotion.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

So the fun really begins when Stacey is watching TV one night after the Secret Santa party (it was actually a fake Secret Santa party, because it was really just one of Stacey’s coworkers giving everyone Alo Glo samples a la one of those mlm product parties. Stacey was the only one who brought a separate gift apparently, and her coworker didn’t really appreciate the taxidermy duck Stacey made. Weird.). She’s miserable, having called out of work due to the rash.

At this point, the man in the Alo Glo ad starts talking to her directly. He is able to convince Stacey that she’s not allergic to the lotion, and it does have the power to make her beautiful and change her life, this ugly and unhealthy rash is just part of the process, that’s all! It just means it’s working! Doesn’t she want to be beautiful? Doesn’t she want to fit in with her coworkers?

This completely convinces Stacey, and she orders a giant box full of Alo Glo. For the next several days, Stacey continues to stay home from work and slather herself in Alo Glo and her rash gets worse and worse and worse. Her husband begs her to stop using the stuff, saying she should see a doctor, but Stacey is delirious with the promise of “beauty” and is utterly convinced the lotion is working, it’s just a long process. Her husband isn’t convinced. He tries to tell her that she’s perfect and wonderful the way she is, and doesn’t she hate those women at work anyways? Why would she want to be like them? He loves her just the way she is, but Stacey doesn’t care.

At this point, all of the bottles of Alo Glo in the box she ordered suddenly open and the lotion starts pouring out of the bottles, filling the box and spilling over the edge. By the time Stacey gets to the box, the spilled lotion has formed into a humanoid figure, reaching out to her. Stacey embraces the lotion person, drenching herself in the stuff in the process. When she re-emerges, her husband is horrified to see her in this state and makes the decision to call a doctor for her. Frustrated that her husband refuses to “support her” and in a moment of pure anger, Stacey ends up stabbing her husband in the forehead. There’s a long and awful moment where her husband is bleeding, desperately trying to reach out on his police radio for help, but it’s too late–Stacey finishes the job with a hatchet.

The lotion person returns, heading up to the bathroom where it then dissolves into the bathtub, filling it. Stacey sinks into the tub, coating herself with Alo Glo (not unlike how the lotion person looked originally). When she emerges, squelching her way into the bedroom, she notices that sections of the lotion are peeling off–everywhere she pulls the lotion off, her skin is revealed to be smooth and perfect, with the rash nowhere to be seen. By the end, she is, at least in her eyes, beautiful. Thrilled, she runs downstairs to show off her new self to her husband…’s corpse.

In a terrific mood, Stacey goes on to taxidermy her husband, throw on some fancy clothes and makeup, and for the first time since the day of the Secret Santa party, head off to work. While her coworkers are shocked to see her initially, they quickly warm up to her, bringing her into their little gossip gaggle. As Stacey laughs along with them, the camera zeroes in on her, until she’s looking and laughing right at us. She’s no longer on the outside–we are.

Look, all of these episodes are unsettling in some way, but this is the one that sticks with me the most. I think it’s phenomenal and also I hate it so much. It’s so uncomfy!! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it!! But I love the way it turns beauty norms and even the beauty industry itself into a really effective horror story. I hate it. But I also love it. I could go on and on about how incredible the presentation of the superficial coworkers was, and how while we didn’t want to Stacey to want to be like and fit in with them, we understand how she feels, though! It works so well as a story because it’s so easy to see the Stacey in ourselves–it’s an incredibly human thing to want to belong, and to feel like you’re on the outside of something special that other people have.

I think the part that really kills me (no pun intended) is how genuinely good Stacey’s husband was. You get the impression they had a really good marriage and good relationship, and he was truly worried about her–he didn’t even really try to intervene himself until he thought that Stacey’s health might be in danger. Despite her claims that he wasn’t supporting her, he really did try to! He did try to give her space to figure out what she wanted! In the end though, the predatory beauty culture wins out, and Stacey not only murders him, but what we can assume to be the only truly good relationship she had, all so she could fit in with the popular kids. It’s such an eerie and gorgeous commentary on this particular section of modern society, and it’s chilling.

RIP Stacey’s husband–perfect cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure.

And, of course, Daniele Luppi’s work on the score is phenomenal. It’s super eerie and uncomfy. I hate it. So it fits in perfectly with the episode.

Remember kids, if late night infomercials start talking directly to you, it’s time to turn off the TV and go straight to bed (do not pass “Go,” do not collect $200). Yes, even if the one speaking in the ad looks and sounds like Dan Stevens.

(Sidenote–this episode is based on a webcomic by Emily Carroll which you can check out here if you’re interested! I might do a whole separate post detailing the similarities and differences between the episode and the webcomic because, as previously stated, it is this episode that sticks with me the most out of the bunch and I may never be satisfied talking about it enough)

Episode 5: “Pickman’s Model” directed by Keith Thomas

obsessed with the way Ben Barnes is now typecast as “on the receiving end of unfortunate circumstances due to cursed portraits and everything that entails”

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

Welcome to the early 1900’s! Our protagonist for this story is an art student named William Thurber. Thurber is your typical pretty boy teacher’s pet, complete with lovely girlfriend and a rowdy group of art student buddies. But who cares? No big deal…he wants mooooooooore!

(He wants to be where the monsters are…he wants to see, wants to see them killing!

…*ahem* anyway)

This becomes evident when Thurber becomes absolutely fascinated with new student Richard Pickman. In a realism class where the students are supposed to be drawing what they see, Thurber gets a glimpse of Pickman’s drawing and sees something absolutely horrendous and spooky, though not necessarily realism. Intrigued, Thurber sort of adopts Pickman, encouraging him and asking him where he gets the ideas for his incredibly monstrous and unsettling work. Pickman himself seems to be a sort of foil for Thurber, appearing shy and awkward in comparison to Thurber’s confidence and charming personality.

This friendship is cut short, however, when Thurber starts seeing creatures from Pickman’s art in the real world. When the effect it has on him almost ruins his chances with his girlfriend, Thurber decides he’s had enough.

Years later, Thurber is still having dreams about Pickman’s paintings, but he has, for the most part, seemingly moved on with his life. That is, until Pickman himself reappears, setting into motion a horrific sequence of events that, despite all his efforts, Thurber is unable to avoid or change.

Potential scare warnings include really unsettling and scary paintings (no…really), lots of monsters, blood, and um…cannibalism? They don’t show the actual act, but rather what leads up to it, so it’s heavily implied.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

As you might imagine, Thurber is none too thrilled when Pickman waltzes back into his life years later. He drops off a painting of his as a gift, and Thurber discovers this far too late–his son, James, has seen the painting and now is having awful nightmares. Now this feels personal, and Thurber confronts Pickman, who genuinely doesn’t seem to understand why Thurber is so unhinged about all of this.

(It’s worth noting, also, that nobody else seems to have the same reactions to Pickman’s paintings that Thurber does. Sure, James starts having nightmares, but no one else seems as disgusted and horrified by the art as Thurber is. In fact, when Thurber brings up not allowing Pickman to have a place in a gallery show or not wanting him to even be around anyone else, everyone honestly just chastises Thurber for being rude to poor Pickman. C’mon, Thurber, that’s not very nice of you.)

Pickman finally convinces Thurber to come to his home, to his studio, to see the art. All Pickman wants, he claims, is for the work to be seen. Thurber, itching for this nightmare to end, agrees. Pickman’s studio is just as eerie and unsettling as you would expect, and of course, driven mad by everything so far and his own frustration, Thurber makes a horrible decision and ends up shooting Pickman, killing him. Maybe on accident? Regardless, it’s not great. Thurber then sets fire to all of Pickman’s art, determined to see the nightmare end once and for all, but he’s shocked to see one of the monsters from Pickman’s work appear, dragging Pickman’s body off and presumably eating him. Thurber can’t spend too much time thinking on that, however, and seems to convince himself that everything, including the real monsters, will burn with the art, closing the book on that story for good.

Thurber takes his wife and son to see the gallery show he put on, sending them off to explore while he meets with one of his friends. Sadly, the good feeling doesn’t last long, as Thurber realizes that many of the works on the walls are in fact Pickman’s. Not only that, they’re pieces that Thurber remembers burning that one night. When he goes to ask his friend what the hell is going on, he’s horrified to see his friend has been staring at one of the pieces in a trance, the left side of his head completely mangled while he mutters about something.

Realizing what this could mean, Thurber rushes off to find his family, but it’s too late–they’ve seen the paintings. Thurber rushes them home, ordering one of the gallery workers to take down all of Pickman’s works and destroy them. With that done, Thurber himself heads home. His wife is facing away from him, steadily chopping something. Thurber tiredly apologizes to her, explaining that it’s all over now, and everything’s fine.

As you can probably guess, everything is not fine.

When his wife turns around, we and Thurber are met with the horrific sight and knowledge that she has gouged her own eyes out. Pickman’s paintings have driven her mad, and she is speaking strangely (I mean…you probably would be, too).

(Also, we never see what it is exactly she was chopping up, but the sound effects imply…yeah.)

Remembering one of Pickman’s works in particular, and extremely unsettled, Thurber asks where their son is. His wife simply smiles, and Thurber opens the oven to find…yeah. Just like one of Pickman’s paintings, his wife gouged out her own eyes, and then proceeded to murder and roast their son. Aaaaaand then the episode ends so we have no idea how Thurber deals with this particular roadblock…

Though not one of my favorites, I did enjoy this one, particularly the tragedy of it all. There’s something about the way that Thurber only realizes Pickman’s paintings do depict reality and even the future when it’s just slightly too late–he ends up losing whatever friendship he might have had with Pickman as well as his wife and son. Even Pickman thought they were friends, and tells him as much, and it just breaks my little heart–the story does a fascinating flip from hinting that Pickman, with his strange mannerisms and eerie paintings, must be the villain, to showing that it was never him but the monsters themselves and even Thurber. All Pickman wanted was someone who understood and saw beauty in his work, and Thurber shuts all of that down so he can have a normal life. That choice, however, then leads to him losing absolutely everything.

(This isn’t even touching on the potential queer undertones here–Pickman being “the odd one out,” no one understands him, Thurber reaches out and forms a friendship because he’s drawn to him (HE GIVES HIM A NICKNAME EVEN), but ultimately he chooses societal norms over it all and ends up marrying his girlfriend and having a family with her, shunning Pickman even when he comes back into his life, even when Pickman assumes they’re still friends…IT’S JUST. YES.)

At the end of it, all Pickman wanted was someone who understood and could see the world the way he did. He just wanted someone to share that with. When he brings Thurber to his studio, I don’t think it’s with malicious intent, I truly think he assumes that once Thurber sees the truth, he’ll understand. They’ll be in this together.

But Thurber doesn’t give him the chance. Pickman dies. The monsters are real. His wife goes mad. Children get tossed into ovens. You get the idea.

The score by Michael Yezerski is–you guessed it–amazing. It’s a beautiful blend of sweeping and lovely to set the scene when things are “good” and incredibly eerie and haunting for when the more horrific things happen.

All in all, it’s a great entry into the “Ben Barnes has his life ruined by cursed paintings” cinematic universe.

Episode 6: “Dreams in the Witch House” directed by Catherine Hardwicke

she seems nice ❤ (the sequel)

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

Welcome back to the early 1900’s!

(Yes, we’re still here–this was the Lovecraft section of the cabinet)

For this tale, we follow a man named Walter Gilman on his supernatural quest to save his sister’s soul. When he was a kid, Walter’s twin sister Epperley died, and he witnessed her spirit get dragged away into a forest. Years later, he’s now working for a sort of paranormal investigation society, searching high and low for some way to bring his sister back ~from the beyond~. So far, nothing has worked.

As the people in his life begin to lose patience with him and his obsession with doing the impossible, Walter finally stumbles upon something that almost gives him exactly what he wants. The downside? Epperley’s spirit isn’t the only one out there hoping to get back.

Potential scare warnings include some light creature jumpscares, I think some stabbing, something very similar to that famous scene from the movie Alien, some dead bodies, and some very unsettling critters.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

So basically, as is to be expected, Walter must first deal with a sort of “fall from grace” kind of deal before he’s able to reunite with his sister in any form. His best friend and coworker at the supernatural society basically quits so he can get a better paying job, Walter himself is let go from the society and disgraced, and he loses his original place of residence. He has a plan though!

Walter rents a room in this deeeefinitely not haunted house which apparently used to belong to a witch who was executed, named Keziah Mason. He also starts frequenting this uh…bar? Smoking room? Local cool kid hangout? where he takes an Indigenous drug that allows him to actually venture into the Forest of Lost Souls, which is where Epperley was dragged off to when they were kids. He’s able to find her, but he can’t ever stay in the Forest for long–plus, something has detected his presence there.

(It’s Keziah, it’s the witch lady…I mean it’s called Dreams in the Witch House we were bound to reach this point some time)

After one of his visits, however, he finds that he was actually able to take a torn piece of Epperley’s sleeve back with him to the real world, which convinces him that it is possible to bring his whole sister back with him. By this point he has also befriended another tenant of the witch house, a fellow disgraced individual who believes that Keziah is still out there somewhere, doing her best to return to the real world.

Despite everyone’s warnings, Walter stays focused, learning that the reason he was able to bring Epperley’s sleeve back and the reason he’s able to cross the threshold and find her so easily is because he and Epperley have their own kind of magic: they’re twins. Twins are the key! Determined and confident, Walter ventures into the Forest once more. Unfortunately, he and Epperley are somewhat stuck now because Keziah knows what they’re up to and wants to use them to return herself. Just when they think they’ve outmaneuvered her, however, their position is given away by–and I wish I was joking–a talking human-faced rat.

Walter and Epperley do escape, but they have been followed. They seek refuge in a church, which Keziah at least temporarily cannot enter, and they call on Walter’s old buddy from the supernatural society (who, for his credit, believes Walter now. That’s nice). Shenanigans ensue, and they end up back at the witch house. The new ultimatum, they learn, is that Walter has to die before dawn in order for either Keziah or human-rat to come back permanently. Just when all seems lost and Keziah has Walter pinned, Epperley comes through and destroys her. This action, however, has a price–having saved her brother and escaped from the Forest, Epperley’s spirit is free and she’s able to move on. Walter is, seemingly, alone again.

Meanwhile, the other witch house tenant and Walter’s buddy uncover a dark secret in the house: the body of both Keziah and the human-rat, who turns out to be her familiar, Jenkins.

(Fun fact! The body they use for Jenkins literally looks like a rat skeleton with a human skull on top, most likely a reference to the ways freak shows and cabinets of curiosities would actually meld skeletons in order to sell the “truth” of the existence of hybrid creatures, like mermaids. Very fun! I mean, horrific and unsettling in context, but fun!)

Speaking of rat-boy, guess who hitched a ride out of the Forest? Jenkins is here and he’s pissed at Walter for messing up their plans. He actually BURSTS out of Walter’s chest, a la Alien, and kills him, right before dawn, thereby possessing him. Now in control of a full human body, Jenkins/Walter heads out into the streets, excited to try out this body and all it can do.

(So, yes, out of context spoilers for this episode include, weirdly enough…Ratatouille.)

I walked away from this episode with a lot of mixed feelings and thoughts, but primarily…what?

The more I thought about it, though, the more I was able to settle on thinking how much I really enjoyed this one. It’s absolutely weird, don’t get me wrong, but I think that’s kind of its charm. I think it was smart to pair this story with Pickman’s Model (in terms of when the episode was released) because Pickman’s is so, so dark and bleak and just…yeah. It’s good, it’s just rough. This one isn’t necessarily any happier, of course, but the absolute strange and quirky nature of it was just…I like it. I have yet to hear of anyone else feeling this way, but that’s fine–maybe this one was made for me and me only.

The whole thing also literally comes full circle, because they actually start the episode with a shot of Walter’s body and you hear Jenkin’s voice talking as if it’s him–and by the end, it is! He even sets it up the way Flynn does in Tangled (“this…is the story of how I died…”) and you aaaaalmost forget about that by the time you actually hear both Walter and Jenkins speak. It’s built up in such a way, even, that you think maybe the protagonists won! Alas…it’s another victory for the cursed rats.

(What is it with this anthology and cursed rats?)

I don’t know–something about it feels a lot more fantastical than some of the other entries, and I think that’s cool? But I can see where, coming out of Pickman’s Model, this one feels a bit too out there. Horror can be quirky and weird, too, you guys–that’s one of the beautiful things about the genre as a whole.

As always, the soundtrack for this one, composed by Anne Chmelewsky, fits the vibe perfectly and I love it.

Episode 7: “The Viewing” directed by Panos Cosmatos

somehow, the worst part of this poster for me is the strings of slime stretched between the two horns, and not the horns themselves

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

WELCOME TO THE 1970’S!! In this story, we follow a rather unusual group of individuals who are summoned to an eclectic rich guy’s mansion for “a special viewing.” On the way over, they do their best to try and figure out what a musician, a physicist, an author, and a psychic all have in common (yes, it does sound like the setup for a bad joke). Upon their arrival, they meet both the rich guy himself and his physician and, after a whole lot of drugs to “expand their consciousness” and “get them on the same wavelength,” the viewing commences.

As you might expect, things go horribly, horribly wrong

Potential scare warnings include just a whole lot of drug use, people making a lot of really dumb decisions, and lots of face/body melting. Like, lots.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

Honestly like, 80% of this one is the quirky cast of characters doing drugs and talking about life, so we can skim through that beginning section. Basically, our cast includes:

  1. Eccentric old rich guy Lionel Lassiter who has very strange decorating taste, among other things
  2. His physician Dr. Zahra who I’m sure is extremely smart and capable but also her primary treatment plan seems to be cocaine, which I mean…ya know
  3. Local musician who’s lost his mojo until he starts smoking, Randall Roth
  4. Local physicist who believes in ~aliens~, Charlotte Xie
  5. Local author who’s also, let’s face it, kind of a jerk, Guy Landon
  6. Local ~quirky~ psychic, Targ Reinhhard
  7. (There’s also Lionel’s assistant? Employee? Driver who brings the others to the rich guy house? He’s also there, at least sort of)

And Lionel and Zahra spend most of the time just convincing the others to drink and do drugs (you could totally do a “this is your brain on drugs” ad with the footage of melted faces once we get to that point) and literally the only reason I’m unsure why this is so necessary comes later when it like…directly leads to a lot of death.

Anyway, once everyone’s good and high, (and once Charlotte and Zahra have had lots of ~gay pining~ moments), we finally get to the actual viewing section of the story. Lionel takes everyone to a ~secret room~ where he reveals what he’s been holding on to: some sort of large, sparkly meteor thing (it’s unclear if the meteor is actually sparkly, or if that’s just how they all interpret it due to collective drug brain). They’re all intrigued, of course, and Charlotte is the most excited, being an alien physicist and all. Randall, meanwhile, continues smoking in the room, despite Lionel repeatedly asking him to stop. It is, however, too late.

The meteor seems to inhale the smoke, glittering ominously one last time before it cracks open like an egg (once again…this is your brain on drugs) and reveals that inside is some sort of orange, globby friend. The whole thing was like alien silly putty! By this point, everyone has fallen into some sort of trance, however, and this is where things get unfortunate:

Targ and Guy are the first to die, a la face melting and head exploding, respectively. Panicking, Charlotte and Randall are watching in horror and trying to find a way out of the sealed room. Still in the trance, Zahra approaches the blob and touches it–this causes her to melt. The alien ooze then makes its way over to Lionel, possessing him and kind of turning him into this orange blobby humanoid figure with horns. By this point, Lionel’s assistant/employee friend arrives, promising to give Charlotte and Randall time to escape. Assistant/employee does his best, but ultimately, he is no match for alien ooze.

Charlotte and Randall, meanwhile, hightail it out of there and make their escape in a snazzy sports car, trying to figure out if what they just witnessed actually happened. At the same time, alien ooze makes its way through the sewers, emerging just outside the city–it stalks towards the buildings, and the camera zooms out slowly, showing flickering streetlamps and probably hundreds if not thousands of unsuspecting people who have no idea how to deal with alien ooze.

While I still like this one (because I do like all of them), I will say this one is probably my least favorite of the bunch if only because it’s not my style. The questions I had at the end of this one bugged me more than some of the others–why did the meteorite react to the smoke from Randall? Why was Lionel’s assistant/driver guy completely crying in that one cut when Lionel asked him about the gold gun? Why did the trance state affect some of the attendees so strongly while it didn’t affect Charlotte and Randall strongly enough, thereby allowing them to escape? Not end of the world questions, of course, but for me personally, it left me a bit disappointed and I feel like it weakened the piece as a whole. But that’s just me, I’m sure it was a favorite episode for others and that’s awesome. I’m fully willing to believe the point of it went right over my head. Maybe it’s a commentary on how rich people’s questionable hobbies can ultimately lead to their downfall? Or maybe it’s just another entry in the timeless story of “don’t mess with aliens and turn things we don’t understand into needless spectacle”

Nope review coming to a blog near you *finger guns emoji*)

One thing I did like while trying to look up what year this one takes place–in the prologue for this episode, del Toro talks about what happens when the viewers become the viewed, which is a horrifying question and initially, made me wonder what kind of episode we were in for. This meant at the time, I didn’t see how that question related to the episode at hand. When I looked up the year for this one, however, I forgot to specify “the viewing” from this anthology and just left it as-is, which meant all the results were about the stage of a funeral referred to as “the viewing.”

This hit me like you wouldn’t believe. I’m not sure if it’s the intended connection we’re meant to make, but seeing as a key piece of this episode is us, the viewers, watching this group of people melt to their deaths…well. The ensemble of the episode thought they were attending a viewing of sorts, and they were, but the episode ropes us in as well because we are viewing them.

Then, of course, you get to wonder–who’s viewing us?

“The Viewing Suite” is the only piece of music on the soundtrack for this episode, by Daniel Lopatin. It’s definitely an unsettling, electronic vibe that fits the overall aesthetic of the episode super well. Which means that, of course, I like it.

Episode 8: “The Murmuring” directed by Jennifer Kent

birds playing Halloween charades over here

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY AND NOTES:

Welcome to the 50’s!

For this story we follow two ornithologists (bird people), Nancy and Edgar. The couple are about to take a trip to a remote island to further study a specific type of bird, a dunlin, and more specifically, why the birds move in what are called murmurations (the episode explains this beautifully, but essentially: you know when a flock of birds all move together, changing directions in a split second? How do they communicate that? How and why do they do it? That kind of thing).

Upon arrival, they are introduced to a caretaker who set up a previously abandoned house for them to stay in, rather than the tents they had planned. As the couple begin their research, it becomes increasingly clear that something else is in that house with them, and two women across history are able to share their grief amidst the call of the flocks of dunlins that inhabit the island.

Potential scare warnings include a creepy child (this is horror, after all), some light jumpscares, child death, suicide, and some like…frightening imagery I guess? The ghosts are spooky-looking.

SPOILER-FILLED ENDING DESCRIPTION AND NOTES:

The house Nancy and Edgar are told to stay in had previously been abandoned for decades, and it does show in the weathering on the exterior, but the caretaker we meet did go through and make sure it has all the basic amenities. There is a hint very early on that something tragic has happened in Nancy and Edgar’s lives, thus Edgar thinks the time away will be good for them.

While the research seems to be happening smoothly enough to begin with, Nancy starts hearing a child’s voice on the recordings she’s taken of the dunlins. She desperately wants to ignore it in the beginning, but the ghosts won’t let her. It becomes apparent that the house is home to two ghosts (at least, maybe there’s more? spoooooky) a young woman and a little boy. The boy always appears frightened and soaking wet, occasionally mentioning how his mom is angry with him, while the woman is frantic, screaming and rushing around, hair flying everywhere. You know, usual ghost stuff.

As time passes and Nancy encounters the ghosts more and more, she becomes obsessed with putting the pieces together of who they are and what happened to them. This puts a massive strain on her relationship with Edgar, as we learn that he wanted to use the trip as an opportunity to rekindle things with his wife after the loss of their daughter, Ava. Through various arguments, we learn that, at least in Edgar’s eyes, Nancy has not grieved for their daughter at all–she hasn’t even cried. After Nancy sort of forcefully asks the caretaker who the previous owners of the house were and what their story was, Edgar has had enough. Why is she more interested in a couple of strangers than her own family?

Thanks to the caretaker and some letters uncovered in Nancy’s own sleuthing, she learns that the woman’s name is Claudette–and as per true haunted house tradition, her life was filled with tragedy. Claudette was in love with a soldier, and though all seemed to be going well, it turns out he was actually married to someone else entirely and he straight up abandoned Claudette when he learned that she was pregnant with their child. Claudette was basically dropped onto the island to live alone, shunned by her family thanks to a scandal that wasn’t her fault. Like Nancy, Claudette had a fascination with the birds on the island and longed to be free like they are (something that causes Nancy to feel a sort of kinship with her, as that is always Nancy’s answer to the question of “what do you like about birds so much?”) But one night, years later, the stress and hysteria proved to be too much, and Claudette snapped, drowning her son in the bathtub.

Initially upon learning this, Nancy is furious with Claudette–I mean, who does that? So one night, when Edgar has already left to study the dunlins (and kind of made it clear that unless Nancy reached out to state otherwise, their relationship was over), Nancy decides to confront the ghosts. She speaks to the scared boy, explaining what happened to him, that his mother did a terrible thing but it isn’t his fault, and the boy runs to her, disappearing and presumably finally moving on. Now ready to confront Claudette, Nancy turns and realizes…she got the story wrong. Claudette did drown her son in a moment of intense anger, but she was wracked with so much guilt immediately afterwards that she jumped from the attic window, killing herself. Heartbroken, Nancy rushes outside to where Claudette would have fallen, but of course, nothing is there.

Instead, however, a large flock of dunlins head straight for Nancy, surrounding her in the murmuration. She spreads her arms, closes her eyes…and then she cries. Once the birds leave, Nancy calls Edgar on the radio and tells him through her tears that she’s ready to talk about Ava.

If The Outside was one of my favorite episodes from the anthology because it made me think and made me uncomfy, this one is one of my favorite episodes because it made me think and made me treasure humanity. It’s one of my favorite horror types, the Crimson Peak and The Haunting of Hill House/Bly Manor type of “it’s not a ghost story–it’s a story with ghosts in it” and “it’s not a ghost story…it’s a love story.” It’s a beautiful tragedy that focuses on relationship expectations and how we relate to the world around us.

I’ve read a couple different reviews talking about what the point of this episode is, and I love how we’ve all come away with different things. Is it a case study of how women’s grief is treated in society as a whole? Is it a commentary on family and the various things that can mean, particularly when loss comes into play?

I don’t know. I think it’s all of those things, and maybe more. We don’t know how Ava dies, or even how old she is when it happens. There’s a scene where Nancy dreams about a baby, so it’s possible that’s how old Ava was when she died, or it could just be Nancy remembering what her daughter had been like. Interestingly, we learn more about Claudette’s tragedy than Nancy’s. There’s a lot that remains unexplained, and I think that’s the beauty of it. I think there is certainly room to interpret that when Claudette died, when she fell from the window, she became those birds she loved so much (Dear Esther, anyone?). So when Nancy learns the truth and she runs outside and the murmuration encases her, it’s not a moment of horror–it’s a moment of gratitude. I think it’s very possible that being trapped in that house made Claudette forget what she had done to her son, so all she was left with was the anger. When Nancy set her son free, Claudette had to once again face what she did…and remembering that grief is what set her free also. That grief that surrounds Nancy at the end in the form of the birds is what allows her to reach out to her husband, to talk about what happened to them. Nancy has what Claudette never did: someone to share her grief with. Is that the only interpretation of the piece? I don’t think so. Grief is such a powerful human emotion, and we’ve spent centuries trying to maneuver it. This episode is just one more way of doing that.

Combined with a haunting soundtrack by Jed Kurzel, I love this piece. I think everything about it is beautifully done, and it’s definitely one I would watch again.

SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS ANTHOLOGY FOR YOURSELF?

YES.

If horror is of any interest to you at all, if you love Guillermo del Toro, if you love anthologies, if you love short, spooky stories…yes. I think if horror isn’t your thing, I would still think about giving it a try, but trust me–I get wanting to skip it.

All in all, it’s a beautiful collection of weird and wonderful things that showcase what it is to be human in many different ways, which, as stated before, is exactly what a cabinet of curiosities should be. If any of this sounded interesting to you, I highly recommend checking all this out for yourself.

Splicing Up The Details of “Don’t Worry Darling”–everything we know so far

breaking out of my void to say um??? New trailer for this movie starring Florence Pugh?? Directed by Olivia Wilde??? GEMMA CHAN IS IN IT???? MUSIC BY JOHN POWELL??????? goodbye

Unlike my posts theorizing about The Quarry (which is delightful so far and yas there will be a review post for that just as soon as I’m done zooming around Hot Wheels tracks in Forza), this one won’t involve pulling much from various social media sites because there just isn’t that much out there yet.

We do however have 2 official trailers and they are a doozy.

THE STORY SO FAR

At its core, the film seems to be about young couple Alice (Florence Pugh) and Jack (Harry Styles) in the 1950s living out their perfect lives in their perfect town. That is, of course, until Alice starts to question some less-than-ideal elements of their existence and everything immediately starts unraveling.

The official website actually offers a pretty in-depth synopsis for us: Alice and Jack are just one of the many couples living in the “experimental company town” of Victory–during the day, the men go to work on the top-secret Victory Project while the wives hang out and clean and cook and so on and so forth. As Alice starts to question things, she learns more and more about “something sinister lurking beneath the attractive facade” and ultimately must decide how much she’s willing to lose in order to expose the truth.

Much of what we see in the trailers involves Alice specifically questioning what on earth is actually happening with the “Victory Project.” There’s a delightfully unsettling dinner scene where she brings this up and is challenged by Frank (Chris Pine), the CEO of the project.

(Sidenote: so happy for Chris Pine to get to play a villain! Thrilled for him to join another Hollywood Chris on this journey of “I’m super pretty and usually get to play the romantic lead/good guy so therefore audiences trust me and it will add a very unsettling element to this film now that I’m a villain.” Basically, Evil Chris Evans in Knives Out lives rent-free in my mind forever and now he’ll have some company!)

There are a lot of side-elements to this basic story shown to us in the trailers: Alice and Jack’s relationship, Alice’s friendship with the other wives, a ballet class? For some reason??? The trailers are DELIGHTFUL and I really think they’ve done a good job of building up tension and hinting at the overall mystery without giving too much away.

SOME THEORIES

EVERYONE LOOK AT GEMMA CHAN I LOVE HER SO MUCH

Okay anyway

Just like you would find in any good Jordan Peele thriller, something dark is lurking underneath the picture perfect facade, but what is it exactly?

At this stage of our knowledge (or really, lack thereof) about the film, I’m guessing right now it has something to do with atomic bombs and, more specifically, atomic bomb testing.

I mean, an obvious nod to that could easily be how similar the names are of secret projects being worked on: in the film, we have the “Victory Project,” and in reality, we had the “Manhattan Project.”

However, slight disclaimer: advertising for the film always highlights the 1950s as the timeline, whereas the Manhattan Project was exclusively 1940s. Its legacy and the work it inspired carried into the 50s and beyond, but still, it’s worth noting.

But wait–there’s more!

One of the more eerie shots in the trailer is a bird’s eye view of the town of Victory–an almost perfect circular town paradise in the middle of nowhere in the desert. There’s another moment where the wives are all hanging out and chatting when suddenly there’s a loud rumble and they react like it’s some sort of minor earthquake (“the boys and their toys” one of the characters says). In the other trailer, there’s a clip of Alice and Jack at home when the rumbling begins and Jack reaches out to steady a coffee cup. This tells us the rumbling happens at least two different times in the film–it could be a regular occurrence and the characters are so used to it, they just don’t care or question it.

Does everyone remember that one scene from the Indiana Jones movie where Indy hops into a fridge and survives a nuclear blast? But prior to that, he was in this picture perfect town full of mannequins?

WELCOME TO DOOM TOWN

Specifically in the 1950s, this was a real thing the US did to test out the effects of nuclear weapons. My personal research varied with amounts, but there were at least two different fully decked-out towns set up and then essentially, destroyed. Reports vary on whether they were Doom Towns, Survival Towns, both, etc. Houses were filled with furniture, real food, and fake people–one of these houses still stands today in Nevada if you’re looking for a fun road trip stop!

So, hear me out: that’s what Victory is. The Victory Project is, like the Manhattan Project before it, specifically focused on atomic testing while Victory is a Doom Town. Except instead of mannequins, they want to test out how it affects living people.

There’s even a clip shown in both trailers where Alice has a carton of eggs out but when she smashes one–it’s completely empty. It’s a fake egg.

The original Doom Towns had fake people and real food–Victory has fake food and real people.

They could even bring in how much of a disaster communication was on the original Manhattan Project: for example, if Alice and Jack are the picture of romance (as implied in the trailers) why would Jack willingly work on something that could bring about Alice’s death?

That’s just it: he may not even know what he’s working on. So many of the people working on the Manhattan Project had zero clue what they were building.

Speaking of Alice and Jack, their relationship is pushed a lot in the trailers. Almost every other clip is the two of them snuggling, making out, staring longingly at each other, or doing unspeakable things on a dinner table. The second trailer even has one of the other wives say that “Alice and Jack only have time for each other.” Later on, however, there are some clips where Jack is yelling at Alice because “not everyone gets this opportunity” and saying “I gave you all of this, Alice!” One of my favorite eerie moments is at a dinner scene where Alice is asking another woman where she met her husband, and Alice finishes the story for her, word for word. It seems to be implying that perhaps all of the couples met the exact same way. Maybe none of the relationships are real.

That, or perhaps the men do know more than they’re letting on while keeping their wives in the dark, for the sake of having those test subjects in the town.

(Speaking of: the website synopsis says that the town of Victory is for the men working on the project and their families, and even though all of the wives are shown…there are no kids? Anywhere? They might just not be in the trailers, but it’s just…interesting)

THINGS I DON’T HAVE AN ANSWER FOR

WHY IS THERE BALLET. WHY IS THE BALLET CLASS SUCH A BIG PART OF THE TRAILER. I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

I mean, cool major Black Swan vibes and all but–????

There’s also a fun sequence where Alice is running from a large group of people in red jumpsuits–maybe this was just a sequel to Us all along!

The second trailer also showed us some scenes that seem to point to Alice seeing a therapist of some sort. He mentions that other patients of his have nightmares, and there are pills that will help. I guess this could imply that this whole thing is some sort of mind experiment?? I mean, MK-Ultra started in 1953, so………they could go that route. This therapist also says “keep calm and carry on” which is notably a reference to WWII and therefore out of the 1950s timeline, for whatever that’s worth.

I also couldn’t begin to tell you why the second trailer is full of an ominous voice saying “tick…tock…” although I did at first wonder if having the main character be named Alice was some sort of Alice in Wonderland reference, and therefore, the “tick tock” voice could be referring to the whole white-rabbit-being-late thing. It’s unclear, though, of course.

The only truly notable social media post (at this point) is on Instagram–it’s the poster I put at the top of the post, before it glitches out and turns upside down and the text changes to “don’t worry” before flipping back around. That plane in the poster is shown briefly in a trailer, where it flies overhead but sort of wobbles in and out of focus. Couldn’t begin to tell you what that means at this point.

One of the taglines for the film seems to be “are you ready to live the life you deserve?” which could imply that all the characters in Victory are horrible people and they have this coming. Or something. We’ll find out!

And that’s pretty much it for now! I’ll pop back in with updates when we have them, but for now, we’re stuck waiting until the end of September.

So until then, check out the trailers and get ready for a wild ride come release day!

The Quarry: Updates #3!

my blog: come for the updates, stay for the memes

OH HEY EVERYONE GUESS WHAT UPDATED TODAY

(In my defense, I started this post on Thursday but then I got sidetracked by dying my hair and seeing Hadestown. And then I had to emotionally recover from dying my hair and seeing Hadestown.)

So now at the time of writing this, we are just under ONE WEEK AWAY from the game’s release!! We have a new YouTube video, lots of Instagram posts, a couple TikTok videos, and of course, A BRAND NEW PODCAST EPISODE to discuss today!!

Settle in with some snacks, keep an eye out for werewolves, and let’s dive on in!

Click the image above to check out the video!

YOUTUBE

2K uploaded what they are calling the “Official Gameplay Overview Trailer” where our good friend the director Will Byles dives into more specifics about what the gameplay will look like. He goes into the various modes, covering some of what we knew already, but I do want to touch on a few things!

  1. To start off with, we see a short new clip of Dylan and Ryan! If you’re like me and you’ve watched IGN or others talking about getting to play a short preview of the game, you’ll recognize this moment–it seems you have the decision as Dylan to climb back up the ladder, but doing so gives you a PATH CHOSEN moment and seems to point out that the ladder is now unsteady. Great. I’m sure that’s fine. It’s not like ladders need to be steady or anything. We don’t see that moment in this clip, but rather the moment before, where Dylan teases Ryan about seeing “absolutely nothing” down there. Dorks.
    1. Once again, though, you’ve got me asking…where are they? Do all the buildings have ominous basements, or are they in the actual namesake quarry? Hmmmmm…
    2. We do see the moment where Dylan can choose to climb up the ladder again later on in the video. It’s one of those “Path Updated” moments and seems to imply that putting just that much more pressure on the ladder is a bad idea–for later on, at least. Great, now I’m gonna be stressed out about ladders in my playthrough. Like, knowing this moment happens, do I choose not to go up the ladder then? Will that kill Dylan early? WHO DO I DOOM BY BREAKING THE LADDER THOUGH???
    3. I’m gonna inadvertently slaughter everyone during my playthrough, I just know it. Sorry in advance.
  2. There’s a brief clip where we see Jacob talking to Nick, asking him how his ~moment~ with Abigail in the woods went. We can choose to have Nick be evasive about it, asking Jacob how things are going with Emma instead, or hopeful, saying that it was okay.
    1. Obsessed with how the hopeful option is just like “it was aight” like?? Sure, okay.
  3. There’s a short clip of Jacob looking at different books in one of the cabins, and at one point he says “ugh, horror. I hate horror.”
  1. Important things to note that Will Byles says:
    1. In regards to the counselors throwing a party: “Unfortunately for them, hunting season has just begun, and they’re the prey.”
      1. a lot of the advertising earlier on seemed to be hinting that they would be hunted by other humans–Anton even points out how awful and monstrous humans can be in the podcast–but I’m just not sure that’s the case…at least, not entirely. THERE ARE TOO MANY CALLBACKS TO CRYPTIDS AND WEREWOLVES, FRIENDS. I don’t doubt they’re the prey, but I have questions about the predator(s) and their strange adherence to letting children hang out there unharmed for a whole week during the summer.
    2. In regards to gameplay: “You’ll play as all nine counselors throughout the course of the game.”
      1. I’ve mentioned this before, but they have to keep bringing this up for a reason. There’s a theory that Max and Laura are our prologue characters and we don’t see them again, but I just…that wouldn’t make sense and wouldn’t explain why they keep emphasizing “YOU WILL PLAY AS ALL NINE OF THEM” because as we saw in the prologue, you only play as Laura there. We still have to play as Max. MAX DIDN’T DIE IN THE PROLOGUE.
      2. Now…are we playing a fully human Max? Thaaaaaaat remains to be seen…
  2. He then goes on to discuss the various ways to play the game, from the classic single player experience to various multiplayer modes to the fun movie mode option, which I plan to use to watch what choices I SHOULD have made for the “everyone lives” option. Because again, I’m going to end up inadvertently slaughtering everyone, I just know it.
    1. It should be noted I will likely only be reviewing the single player modes here because…it’s in the title of the blog. Also, the multiplayer options require having friends.
      1. HA JK I HAVE FRIENDS
      2. but you need friends who enjoy horror

That about does it for YouTube for now!

Click the image above to check out the Instagram!

INSTAGRAM

We have a whopping NINE ELEVEN posts to get through and overanalyze, so LET’S DO THIS (they added more while I was emotionally recovering)

  1. Up first is a cute post sponsored by our favorite podcast, Bizarre Yet Bonafide, with a list of items they claim make up a cryptid survival kit. Apparently it works on most cryptids! (effectiveness not guaranteed, however)
    1. Items included in the “kit” are a Bizarre Yet Bonafide t shirt (pls I want this pls make this a thing pls), a vial of holy water, a silver crucifix, some wolfsbane, and some garlic bread. God I love garlic bread.
      1. So does this tell us what the monster of the game may be or is it too vague? Well…yes and no. The use of holy water is potentially too vague, as it can be used in exorcisms, warding off evil spirits, disease, or Satan himself, getting rid of demons, and even exposing a suspected vampire. A crucifix, as we all know (or at least those of us currently entrenched in Dracula Daily know), is used to ward off vampires, but the specification of a silver crucifix is interesting. From what I can tell, there’s nothing in mythology or folklore that says the crucifix has to be silver. To me, that seems to tie in a lot more to the whole “kill a werewolf with a silver bullet” thing. Speaking of wolves…WOLFSBANE. There is a lot going on with wolfsbane–from what I can tell, it’s one of many names for a species of flowers that could potentially be poisonous? In mythology, there seem to be conflicting accounts: some say it causes one to become a werewolf, some say it is used to repel monsters such as werewolves…and, perhaps most notably, wolfsbane was used as a sort of attempt to ward off Dracula in one of the movie adaptations. I can’t tell you if this happens in the original novel because we’re not at that point in Dracula Daily yet and I know I could just read the book myself BUT WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT. The kit also comes with garlic bread, but it’s unclear if that’s to ward off vampires or just to eat because garlic bread is delicious.
      2. All this to say, it’s possible the kit could be just an attempt at a general catch-all for warding off monsters and cryptids, but on the other hand, a loooooot of this seems to now be pointing at vampires. Which like, don’t get me wrong, would be cool–I just feel like we’ve seen a real uptick in vampire games recently. I’d be down for some werewolves, is all I’m saying. Or both. Both is good.
  2. The next post is our fun little introductory video to Chris, the apparent owner of the summer camp and maybe the area? Played by David Arquette, it’s Mr. H!
    1. Mr. H’s video describes him as “the father figure, friendly, charming, approachable” with a brief flash to his “negative” trait as being “short-tempered.”
      1. The scene they show when they call him short-tempered is from the trailer where he’s telling the kids NO you canNOT stay another night, JACOB. But I’m kinda running on the theory that dear old Mr. H might be one of the monsters himself–I think calling a quick-to-bite werewolf “short-tempered” is a bit of an understatement, but it’s just the kind of thing I would do if I were advertising for a game like this. HMMMM…
  3. The next post is an announcement that the release of one of the multiplayer modes is being delayed, and will not come out with the rest of the game on June 10. Instead, online multiplayer mode will be released via an update on July 8.
    1. The idea behind the online multiplayer is that (from what I gather) one person is playing, but everyone else can vote on decisions as they come up, thereby shaping the story by popular demand. At least then you have other people to blame when something goes horribly wrong!
  4. The next post is actually just the gameplay overview trailer we covered already in the YouTube section.
  5. The next post is a preview of what the “80’s Throwback Outfits” look like for Abigail, Nick, and Kaitlyn. The throwback outfits are available in the ~deluxe~ addition, but it’s worth noting that they won’t be available in-game until–wait for it–July 8.
    1. Kaitlyn’s is cute and all but doesn’t really give me her…energy? If that makes sense? Nick’s has a cute letterman jacket, which we love, but ABIGAIL. OH MAN ABIGAIL. SHE SLAYING IN THOSE PLAID PANTS I LOVE HER.
      1. gonna be so sad when I accidentally get her slaughtered
  6. We then have a clip from the fourth podcast episode, which I covered in my previous updates post if you’d like to check that out!
  7. Next up, we have a little arrangement of all of our lovely camp counselors, with the caption being “which counselors will survive your first playthrough?”
    1. My favorite comment is the person like “I will try to save everyone but if it’s anything like Until Dawn, I will accidentally slaughter everyone and be sad af”
    2. me too
  8. Next, we get a preview of what the 80’s throwback outfits look like for Emma, Jacob, and Ryan and they are…*chef’s kiss*
    1. Crop top supremacy is all I’m sayin
    2. Emma and Jacob crop top power couple
  9. Then, we get our favorite podcast episode update post with our favorite computer monitor and “Rabbit Hole” sticky note
    1. still have no idea what that means
  10. We then have a picture of our buddy the sheriff in front of the cellar from the prologue that reads “ONE WEEK LEFT”
    1. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  11. this next post requires a lil ~sleuthing~ if you will, as it appears to be an actual tarot reading for us!! The cards presented to us are The Fool, The High Priestess, The Magician, and…The Tower
    1. Aight lemme preface this by saying that as an unapologetic tarot user and enthusiast myself, I still don’t know absolutely everything there is to know about the cards and my interpretation and theorizing about this could absolutely differ from the dev’s intentions and reasons for this post and the cards chosen. So much of tarot depends on the spread being used, the deck being used, the reader, the person on the other side of the table, so on and so forth. So, with that being said–let’s dive in.
    2. What’s important to note right off the bat is that there is no spread for these cards–they are simply presented to us one by one before moving on to the next one. Now, you don’t need a specific spread for readings, but sometimes the cards’ relationship to each other in the spread formation is crucial to whatever information you can glean from them. What’s a spread, you may be asking if you’ve read this far? Basically, it’s how you arrange the cards for the reading. There are any number of well known spreads (or, in simplest terms, shapes) you can use in readings, but people create their own spreads to use all the time, and the card’s position in the spread (shape) can help decipher what the cards are telling you. We don’t have any of that here, so our interpretation largely depends on the cards themselves.
    3. The amount of cards given to us is crucial as well–4. Simple tarot pulls tend to involve 3 cards (or even 1), so we can rule out more well-known spreads like the past-present-future. That’s not to say there are no pulls or spreads involving 4 cards because of course there are, but we don’t know which one we’re using here, so we can’t rely on it. Anyway, all that aside, let’s look at the cards themselves.
    4. Each card given to us is one of the Major Arcana–tarot decks are split into two different “types” of cards, the Major and the Minor Arcana. The Major Arcana are the ones used most often in media, they’re the cards like Death, The Lovers, and yes, The Tower. The Minor Arcana are organized more closely to a standard deck of cards, with four suits and number cards as well as “face” cards. Like the Major Arcana, every single Minor Arcana card has a different meaning, the difference being you can also glean some of that from the number of the card as well as the suit. But we’re not dealing with any of that here, so back to the Major Arcana!
    5. Card #1 from our reading is The Fool. This is a card we’ve seen before in the game, because it shows up as a collectible in the Prologue–Laura finds it while she’s exploring the spooky woods and the remains of the Harum Scarum show. Generally The Fool represents new beginnings, the start of a new journey, and innocence. When I covered this card in the Prologue video, I mentioned that this makes sense in context because it’s the start of the game and certainly the start of a new journey for us as the player. I don’t know how innocent we’re gonna be going into this “absolutely definitely a horror game” but…ya know.
    6. Card #2 is The High Priestess. Generally, the card is one of introspection and wisdom, especially when it comes to spirituality and spiritual knowledge. It’s a card of mystery, and (depending on the cards around it) it could be telling you to take a moment to closely investigate your surroundings or the situation you find yourself in because it’s possible things around you may not be what they appear to be. The card may not always mean that exactly, but I think in the context of…horror game…that interpretation makes sense. Plus, we’ve heard that kind of phrase before, the whole “things may not be as they appear.”
    7. Card #3 is The Magician. Generally the card points to success through determination and use of the knowledge and tools you currently possess–you have the power to shape your destiny and now is the time to do it. In the immortal words of Arthur in Shrek 3: “the only one standing in your way is…you.” Unlike the High Priestess’s warning of introspection, this card is all about how it is the time to act and embrace your full potential. You have the power, so use it.
    8. Card #4 is, unfortunately, The Tower. Like I discussed in a previous updates post, media generally is quick to use the Death card as a bad omen when the true enemy and the one you really want to watch out for is The Tower. BUT ALSO I’M KIDDING–there’s not such thing as a bad or “evil” tarot card, it’s all about their placement in the spread and the situation you’re reading into. That being said, The Tower generally has the greater potential to point to more negative outcomes or situations than, say, The Sun or the Wheel of Fortune (the card, not the game show). Generally, The Tower is associated with sudden, unexpected change or even disaster, an unforseen accident, and destruction. However, depending on the spread, it could also be referencing liberation and a sudden change that brings freedom from a dangerous situation. Do I think the game will be using that interpretation??? Absolutely not, this is a horror game and everyone gonna be dead. But we can dream.
    9. So…when you put them all together, what does it mean? Well, again, we’re at a bit of a loss because we don’t have a spread and therefore card placements and organization to use for reference. However, if I had to guess as a semi-coherent tarot enthusiast and overanalyzer of all small details in everything, I would say this reading isn’t directed at any of the characters in the game or even meant to tell us anything new necessarily–like the impossible choices presented to the Instagram audience, I believe this tarot reading is directed at us as the PLAYER as we start thinking about and getting ready to play this game. Every card can be used in this way to both help and warn us as we enter the final countdown this week. Like The Fool, we are beginning a new journey and are innocent only in that we don’t have all the answers on our first playthrough about what exactly is waiting for us in The Quarry–and we should keep that in mind and not be too cocky as we set out (unless we’re goin in with a full slaughter mindset, I suppose). I believe The High Priestess could be reminding us to not make too many snap decisions, especially because we don’t immediately have all the answers and again, things may not be what they seem to be. There’s a ton of mystery still and we just don’t fully know what’s waiting for us around the corner, so it’s worth approaching with caution. On the flipside, The Magician may be reminding us that using the knowledge we gain as we go through the story can only help us in the end. We literally have the power in our hands, so let’s use it. We have everything we need. Hopefully. And then we have The Tower, which feels…somewhat self-explanatory in retrospect. The characters we play as absolutely go through a sudden change and definite disaster, so we have to keep that in mind going in as we control them and shape their story and relationships. I think this also fits in nicely with the Prologue, and Max and Laura’s sudden change in their evening when they were attacked by…something.
      1. which like…is so absolutely their fault. WHY DID YOU EXPLORE THE WOODS. WHY DIDN’T YOU GO TO THE MOTEL LIKE TED RAIMI TOLD YOU TO. WHY DID YOU BREAK INTO THE CELLAR. Is it because you’re characters in a horror game? Yeah. Yeah that checks out.
    10. This could also mean something completely and entirely different!! Again, though I’m hopeful, we don’t know how much tarot research the devs have done or what their actual intentions are with this post, and we don’t have the luxury of a tarot spread to help us out (and none of the cards are reversed in the reading, which is a whole other thing). Ultimately, we’ll have to wait just a few more days and see for ourselves…
  12. (THEY ADDED TWO MORE POSTS SINCE I STARTED WRITING THIS SECTION CALM DOWN GUYS it’s almost like the game comes out in a couple days or something) Up next we have the 80’s throwback outfits for Laura, Max, and Dylan and they are SO. GOOD. Laura’s colorblock shirt?? Max’s sick jacket?? DYLAN’S!!! SWEATSHIRT!!!! AAAAAAAA
  13. Then we have a short clip of Laura in the woods from the prologue when Eliza ominously whispers “Silas” in her ear. It comes with some text that reminds us the game comes out THIS FRIDAY!!!

That’s all for Instagram for now!

Click on the image above to check out the TikTok page!

TIKTOK

There are two new posts on the TikTok page!

  1. The first is the same introduction video we got on Instagram, so no need to dive back into that.
  2. The second is the POV video the other counselors got, except instead of being from Chris’s point of view, it’s still from the counselors’ point of view, it’s just that it’s about Chris. It’s set up as “the most annoying things about Mr. H,” poking fun of his sense of style (or lack thereof) and his dad jokes. It then points out that he’s the only ride out of camp. I’m sure that’s fine, though.
    1. It’s worth pointing out that one of the thing the counselors complain about is that he “won’t give phones back.” I’m curious how this plays into the story, because we know Emma films lil vlogs with her phone, and part of the trailer is Kaitlyn’s phone when she sees a strange light on the island. So…does he only take some of the phones? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE COUNSELORS STAYING AN EXTRA NIGHT WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, DAVID ARQUETTE
  3. Since I started working on this post, they added another video, but it’s another repeat from Instagram: the video of Laura in the woods with the “THIS FRIDAY” text announcement.

That’s really all we’ve got for the TikTok page, at least for now! There may be more before the game’s release, although they seem to have transferred primarily over to Instagram in the final days.

Click the image to check out the podcast!

IT’S HERE IT’S HERE IT’S HEREEEEEEEEEE

I’ve missed Grace so much :’)

…and unfortunately I feel like I’m about to miss her more since my girl decided camping alone in Hackett Woods was a good idea. Le sigh.

This episode is a good 3-4 minutes LONGER than our usual audio adventures, so there’s a lot to unpack here!!

We start with the usual unsettling audio editing to set the scene (monster noises, crunching, squelching, the usual). We then hear our beloved Grace and find out that she is at the check-in desk of the Harbinger Motel because she drove out to Hackett Woods ALONE to investigate all her leads.

(By the way, if you’re wondering where you’ve heard the name of the motel before, it’s in the prologue! That’s the motel that Sheriff Ted Raimi tries to get Max and Laura to go to when he insists they cannot show up to the camp one night early. Grace is, of course, ecstatic about the weird name.)

Grace makes it clear that Anton isn’t accompanying her as he is having meatloaf at his mom’s. Grace also alludes to the fact that she mayyyyyy have some type of feelings for Anton, and she’s a bit hurt that she wasn’t invited to the meatloaf shebang (even though she’s a vegan vague-en). She promises to make up for his absence and pretends to speak as him, though a little more…flirty than usual.

We learn that Grace went to investigate on her own because, even though the whole “missing dead body” thing ended up being a hoax, there has to be more to the story because there’s no smoke without fire (or, as the episode title suggests, no hoax without fire). After all, there are still two missing hikers and a local legend of a ghost woman haunting the woods, soooooo…Grace cuts the recorder off during check-in so we don’t hear from whomever the Harbinger desk clerk is, and Grace makes the point that the room is shockingly normal (with the exception of the old-fashioned toilet with the chain handle).

Grace checks back in with us in the morning, where she says that even her night was completely uneventful. She even did Bloody Mary in the mirror and nothin’! She then asks “what is this motel even a harbinger of, sweet dreams?” *ba dum tssss* (we love Grace so much) Grace then complains about being hungry and rummages in her bag for some food–and I bet you’re wondering, “why are we bringing this up? This seems inconsequential to ghost-hunting” and you’d normally be right EXCEPT do you know what she pulls out of her bag here??

THAT’S RIGHT. A PEANUT BUTTER BUTTER POP.

(sidenote: does this mean the butter pops are more like granola bars or something? I was thinking cereal but Grace unwraps something and refers to that one butter pop as her whole breakfast. I mean, I’m all for starving artists and actually could totally believe that Grace would eat like, one Reese’s Puff and call it good, but I’m juuuuuust wondering…)

So again, just a little nod to “haha here’s this established joke of ours for this in-universe funny-sounding thing, ha ha ha”?

NOPE. IT GETS WEIRD.

While enjoying her breakfast of champions, Grace wonders what it is about them that makes them so addictive. Could it be the nutritious ingredients, mayhaps?

There is no ingredient list.

WHAT. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD AND SPECIFIC DETAIL TO INCLUDE AND FOR WHY?? I WAS JOKING LAST TIME WHEN I WONDERED IF THE PEANUT BUTTER BUTTER POPS TURN YOU INTO A WEREWOLF BUT?? WHY ARE THERE NO INGREDIENTS LISTED. AAAAAAAAAAA.

As curious as Grace is, she shrugs off the “no ingredients list” weirdness and moves on, announcing what her goal is: investigating the sideshow fire from 6 years ago, which apparently happened on private land owned by the same family that owns the infamous Hackett’s Quarry Summer Camp. Grace notes that the desk clerk wouldn’t talk about the fire, and did point out that the camp is empty currently, but would soon be swarming with children (we saw in the prologue what happens when people visit the empty camp PLEASE DON’T GO THERE GRACE). She wonders why the fancy family who owns the land wants a bunch of screaming kids running around during the summer, ahem, “unless they’re sacrificing them to ghosts of those who died in the fire.” Ha. Ha ha. Ha.

Apparently Grace wanted to call the camp, but she doesn’t have service (of course) and apparently the desk clerk pretended the landline was down. Good. Good good. Determined to get answers, she sets out to the town to ask around about the fire. When we next hear from her, she’s ecstatic to report she was RIGHT and that the Hag of Hackett’s Quarry legend ties into the Harum Scarum Show fire. Apparently she tried talking to the older townspeople and they wouldn’t tell her anything, but the younger ones totally did. She cuts herself off though, saying she wants to save that story for the next episode with Anton because it’s so good. :’) Grace please I hope you make it back to Anton

Grace then makes the super smart decision to camp alone in the woods at night (well, outskirts of the woods). Things start off lighthearted enough–she’s clearly a little on edge, but she jokes about how even though it would suck to be killed by a bear, at least she could come back as a ghost and haunt Anton. After she hears some rustling outside, she decides to check it out, finding nothing but…a squirrel. (Though she does point out that it could be a ghost squirrel)

Actually making the smart decision for once, Grace decides she’s had enough, she’s scared, and she’s packing up to leave. We hear sounds of her presumably packing things up, followed by wolves howling, and then, of all things…the peanut butter butter pops theme song.

We have one more episode to go, and if I had to guess, I’d say we can probably expect it to come out on Thursday as a final hoorah before the game’s release on Friday. Look, I know it’s a podcast for a horror game, but I reeeeaaaaally want Grace to make it out okay :’) we can’t tell from the end of the episode if she actually makes it out of the woods and back to the motel okay, so…who knows. The final episode is titled “The Hag of Hackett’s Quarry” where I hope we’ll finally be able to learn about the full story of the Harum Scarum show and the fire that caused the ghost stories. And I hope we’ll learn that Grace is okay. Please. PLEASE.

ALSO CAN WE PLEASE LEARN THE SIGNIFICANCE OF PEANUT BUTTER BUTTER POPS. I WAS JOKING ABOUT THEM TURNING PEOPLE INTO WEREWOLVES, BUT NOW I’M NOT SURE. THE EPISODE LITERALLY ENDED WITH WOLVES HOWLING FADING INTO THE BUTTER POPS SONG. SEND HELP. I WAS JOKING.

We are days away my friends!! Before I close us out for now, I’m noting some potentially interesting timeline things we have learned up to this point (that I remember–there may be more??)

We know that Hackett’s Quarry Summer Camp was established in 1953, at least according to the camp sign we see in the preview. Assuming the game takes place in 2022, this means the camp has been running for 69 years now (obligatory “lol 69” comment here). Thanks to Grace’s comments and efforts from the newest podcast episode, we know that the sideshow fire was only 6 years ago, so again assuming the game takes place in 2022, the fire was in 2016 (I feel like America generally was on fire in 2016 so this fits). We also know that peanut butter butter pops were discontinued 15 years ago, so 2007. So if peanut butter butter pops are indeed tied to werewolves or the general story as a whole, there’s a nine year gap between them being discontinued and the sideshow fire (although as we know from Grace, people are still finding them to eat even years later).

What does ANY of this mean?? I dunno, fam. Hoping for more answers on Thursday if we get the new episode then, and then after that…IT’S GAME TIME.

I will admittedly only be playing during the morning or hours of excessive daylight because I absolutely have more of a scaredy-cat fascination with horror. Also–peanut butter butter pops merch when??

That’s all for now friends! Happy Quarry release week, and I may see you all on Thursday with a podcast update!

The Quarry: Updates #2!

HAPPY (belated) PODCAST EPISODE RELEASE DAY EVERYONE!!!

yayyyyyyyyyy

Not only do we finally have a new Bizarre Yet Bonafide to dig into, we also have some new social media posts as well (it’s finally Abigail’s turn!).

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

(If you haven’t been following along up to this point, here is the first post about The Quarry, and here is the second post with some of the updates.)

Click the image above to check out the Instagram!

INSTAGRAM

We have four new posts to dive into!

  1. The first is the traditional introductory short video for Abigail–as per usual, I can’t make out all of the quick moments it flashes to, but we do seem to have the usual “shot of the same character but now they’re covered in blood,” a sketch of what looks to be a woman with long hair, Abigail screaming, and a close-up of a padlock.
    1. Abigail is described as “the artist,” and it makes me wonder if we’ll have some nice sketchbook moments a la Life is Strange 2. Maybe? No? If nothing else, we may have some instances of Abigail taking on the role of “creepy child who draws creepy things in a horror setting” cliche–could the long-haired woman be the infamous “Hag of Hackett’s Quarry”? (Although, if the Hag is indeed Eliza, we never see her with her hair down…)
    2. What’s with the padlock? So far the only padlock we’ve seen has been in the prologue, but that was tied to Max and Laura, not Abigail…are there other creepy cellars around the camp full of creepy creatures? AND WHY DO WE INSIST ON HAVING A SUMMER CAMP HERE???
  2. The second post is the second introductory video that uses words to describe our counselor friend: Abigail’s are “the artist, shy, creative, quiet” and then the “negative” trait for her is “nervous” and we see two different shots, one of Abigail crawling through some presumably underground tunnel and then her running from…something while she screams. Lovely.
    1. These “negative” traits crack me up because like?? Um??? I, too, would absolutely be nervous in her position??? Excuse me?????
  3. The third post is our favorite podcast ad: the title of the new episode on an old-timey computer monitor with the “Rabbit Hole” post-it note in the corner.
    1. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WITH THE WHOLE RABBIT HOLE THING
  4. The fourth post is a short lil clip (I’m assuming from the game) that shows Abigail in some sort of dark corridor with a large…vent? behind her. At the start, there is a silhouette of something on one side, but as the camera pans across Abigail’s face, the silhouette is then gone. We hear something whisper (likely) “Abby…” but there’s no one there when Abigail turns around. She faces forward again, and we see a different (?) silhouette cross in front of her.
    1. As of now, I’m going to theorize that the silhouette in the beginning and the whispering individual are the same, and they’re Eliza. The silhouette looks to be someone maybe wearing a dress, and we know how fond Eliza is of whispering ominously to people (see: her whispering “Silas” to Laura in the prologue. Seriously Eliza…why?). Because the silhouette disappears so quickly, it’s possible that it could be one of the monsters, but I don’t think it’s the same type as the one Laura sees in the cellar in the prologue (though those do move rather quickly)–that one just looked gangly with long, awkward limbs, and this silhouette looks decidedly more human. Maybe. Being able to disappear like that doesn’t necessarily put me off of it being Eliza, as she could be a ghost of some sort. After all, she was able to sneak up very suddenly on Laura, and her clips in the story highlights allude to her not being fully human. But, that’s just a guess!
    2. The second silhouette is a lot harder to make out–it definitely walks like a normal alive human, but it’s hard to tell who it could be. It’s also hard to tell if Abigail actually sees them or not–she’s not thrown off by their presence if she does see them, which makes me think it could be another counselor, but again, it’s kinda unclear.
    3. Where exactly is Abigail in this clip? As we can tell from the camp map, there isn’t really a location that could logically be an underground site (unless it’s the Tree Walk? WHAT IS A TREE WALK), which makes me think there’s either some spooky underground tunnel stuff going on under the camp, OR…that’s the infamous Hackett’s Quarry itself. Which we probably shouldn’t explore. But we’re going to anyway.
Click the image above to check out the TikTok page!

TIKTOK

Currently we have three new videos to discuss, all centered around our lovely new friend Abigail!

  1. The first is the same as the first introductory video for Abigail that’s on Instagram.
  2. The second video is the traditional point-of-view post for each counselor–for Abigail, it’s her showing off a bunch of photos she took! The first is the top part of a house at night (maybe the Lodge?), the second is a really spooky shot of the forest at night, the third is a shot of the super big full moon over the lake, and the last few come really quickly and cut in and out with shots of a ghostly silhouette. The text says that she saw a woman in the woods, but that woman doesn’t show up in any of the photos…
    1. couple things here FIRST OFF–what kinda awesome camera is Abigail using for these super clear night shots?? Amazing.
    2. Listen, I’m not saying the monster is werewolves…buuuuut they do keep highlighting a full moon on the night the counselors are stuck there. Sooooooooooo….werewolves.
      1. (this does however contradict a few things–if a full moon is to blame, why is it that the counselors cannot show up a night early or be there a night later? It’s not like the full moon just says peace out for a week so that kids can hang out at the summer camp, right? Why is there a monster that attacks Max and Laura when they show up early? Why is there such fear around being at the camp one night longer? Okay fine, maybe not werewolves…or maybe werewolves are just one of the things they have to worry about…)
    3. And now for probably the most important part of the video–the ghostly woman who Abigail saw, but doesn’t show up in the photographs. So I mean, she could be a vampire, or a ghost. Is it Eliza? Is it Anne Radcliffe the mysterious missing hiker?? Is it someone else entirely??? I mean, it could be a friend.
  3. The third video is the same as the clip of Abigail walking somewhere dark from Instagram.
    1. Watching it through this time though, it does look like Abigail is looking behind her the entire time the second silhouette is walking, and then the second silhouette stands in a corner frozen when Abigail turns back around. Um? Excuse me?? Why??? Abigail herself looks fairly beat-up in this clip, so I’m assuming this is late enough in the game that we know something supernatural is going on, and it’s not someone playing a joke on her. Hopefully. People in the comments are speculating that the second silhouette is Laura…maybe? It’s so hard to make out. It could be Emma, since it looks like they’re supposed to be best friends, but again…we just can’t tell.
    2. Also, it’s worth noting that the Supermassive Games account commented on this video saying “Not everything is as it seems…” so uh…thanks, guys. Now I’m questioning absolutely everything.

That’s it for social media updates for now–let’s dive into the podcast!!

Click the image above to check out the podcast!

Look, I think every episode of this show is good, but THIS ONE. THIS ONE IS SO GOOD.

We begin with Grace being unusually unenergetic and Anton in a seemingly great mood, and we soon find out why: remember the whole thing about “there was a dead body that these kids found but when the police went back to investigate it was missing and there’s no evidence of it being moved so wtf where did it go?” Yeah…turns out the whole thing was uh, fake. The kid made the whole thing up to scare his girlfriend (remember? His girlfriend who is attending the summer camp? Charming).

(It’s worth noting that Anton mentions here that he told Grace the whole thing could have been a case of “the boy who cried wolf,” and turns out, it was…and look I’m not saying the monster is werewolves but like……..we keep mentioning wolves here…………)

Grace uses this as a segue into her next theory, discussing ghost stories involving women scorned.

(Before diving into that, there’s a brief moment worth mentioning: the return of peanut butter butter pops! We learn a little more about this…cereal? as Anton makes fun of Grace for eating them because they were discontinued ages ago. Grace defends herself by saying she found them in the freezer when she moved in, and everyone knows stuff in the freezer doesn’t go bad. Anton is disgusted. So, again, it’s possible all this butter pop stuff could just be used to aid in world-building and to show us that the podcast and the game are all in the same universe, but…what if there’s more to it than that? If the butter pops were discontinued ages ago, why does Kaitlyn sing the theme song for them? Is it one of those urban legend type things? DO THE PEANUT BUTTER BUTTER POPS TURN YOU INTO A WEREWOLF??? Okay anyway…)

Grace discusses the various legends about the “White Lady” and how generally, they are all stories of a woman being wronged and then haunting a specific area, appearing as, you guessed it, a woman wearing white. Grace goes into two tales in particular: one of a woman whose husband locked her away when he went off to war because he didn’t trust her not to cheat on him while he was gone (charming) except he died in the war, and the woman wasted away. The story goes that she got so hungry she ended up trying to eat herself out of desperation, and when you come across her, you are hit with a strong sensation of hunger (this is where the “hangry” in the episode title comes in.)

The second story Grace tells is about a hitchhiker who drowns herself after her husband left her for another woman, so when you come across her, she is always dripping wet and bloated-looking. Fun!

There are so many different versions of the white lady story all across the globe, and different houses or locations each have their own specific white lady story. The first story Grace tells seems to be based on a German legend from the time of the Thirty Years’ War. Just as Grace describes, a nobleman locks his wife in the cellar of his manor so she couldn’t betray him, but he never returned, and she died, supposedly haunting the premises. Interestingly, that manor was recently renovated, and workers found no evidence of human remains in the cellar. Which just…it just makes me think of Grace’s whole “missing dead body” story–like I know that was debunked, but it’s just an interesting coincidence.

From what I can tell, there isn’t one specific white lady legend that Grace’s second story is based on. There are legends of white ladies who drowned themselves, but not for the reason Grace states. There are legends of white ladies who often appear as hitchhikers, and after being taken into the car, they cause it to crash somehow. There are countless legends of white ladies with traitorous husbands or lovers, and they often come back to haunt unfaithful men. The closest example I could find is actually a white lady legend from Dallas, Texas of all places. Described as “The Lady of White Rock Lake,” she often appears completely soaked in an evening dress from the 1930’s, where she asks anyone who pulls over to be taken home. She usually disappears during the car ride and leaves the backseat drenched–thanks. Reportedly, she was a drowning victim from a boating accident.

(So what could this all mean? It’s likely no coincidence that the clip of Abigail saying she took photographs of a woman who never showed up in the pictures was posted right around the time this episode came out. It’s also worth noting that Grace says these legends are often called “the lady in white” or “the hag of somewhere” when I could, in fact, not really find any legends that referred to these spirits as “hags” (could be on me though, I’m sure something exists!). We have, of course, heard of something very similar in the trailer where Ryan says “the hag of Hackett’s Quarry.” We assume this is, in fact, Eliza. So, is that what’s going on with her? Is Eliza a white lady spirit, haunting the woods? In order to qualify for that title, she had to be greatly wronged in life…so again, what exactly happened at the Harum Scarum show? Who or what wronged Eliza in life? Is she calling for Silas in the woods because he wronged her, or was that her son and the mysterious father figure did something unforgivable? Lots to think about!

ALSO ALSO–it’s worth noting (how many times can I say that) that multiple white lady legends involve them being especially active…*drum roll please*…during a full moon.

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

ALSO ALSO ALSO–since so many of the legends for white ladies involve them “testing” people on how good of a person they are and how well they treat the people in their lives, I’m sure that’ll play into the game somehow. The devs have talked about how you can really affect your relationships with other characters in this game, so it’ll probably behoove us to be friendly to all our counselor buddies…lest the white lady comes along and we fail her test)

Grace then goes onto confirm that she’s bringing up these legends because there have been sightings of a white lady (or “hag”) in none other than Hackett Woods!! Anton still doesn’t think the missing hikers have anything to do with this, to which Grace is like “awww man juuuuuust wait till you see what I have planned…” she hints that the next episode will be a little different, and she has plans for something a little more “hands-on” for next time…Anton asks her to please not do anything dangerous.

This is, however, the podcast for a horror game, so uh…

Basically, I’m thinking next episode could go a few different ways:

  1. Grace goes to Hackett Woods to investigate everything in person. She manages to drag Anton along with her, and the episode is recorded as the two of them trek through the woods investigating. It ends on a possible cliffhanger when they hear an ominous noise or something.
  2. Grace went to Hackett Woods alone, and Anton hasn’t heard from her since. The episode could be a mix of recordings Grace took while she was there that Anton got a hold of and his own reactions to it as he makes the trip to Hackett Woods himself to find her.
  3. Grace went to Hackett Woods alone, but made it back, and the episode is her desperately trying to convince Anton of all the weird stuff she saw. Anton still doesn’t believe it, but he’s never seen Grace like this, I mean she is visibly shaken and doesn’t seem to be messing with him…hmmm…therefore, the next and final episode is the two of them going back there together.

My biggest fear is that Grace and Anton will not live through the end of this podcast series…I KNOW IT’S A HORROR GAME LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT THEM TO BE OKAY.

The episode ends with the peanut butter butter pops jingle again, followed by the usual creepy voice that talks about The Quarry.

The next episode is titled “No Hoax Without Fire” and I just…I just want Grace and Anton to be okay :’)

As for when the final two episodes will be released? I have…no idea. I thought they were goin on an “every two weeks” thing, but the game comes out in three weeks, so unless the last episode is being released after the game, I’m hoping we’ll be getting the next two episodes sooner rather than later. Mostly because I’m super nervous for Grace. I’VE GOTTEN ATTACHED, OKAY?

That’s all we’ve got for now, folks! Now that all of the counselor videos are out, I’m not really sure what the social media plan is from here on in? They could do stuff for the adult characters, of course, but I don’t know how likely that is since they really want to keep them steeped in mystery. If anything, I feel like we’ll probably get more of Eliza, since she was sort of the poster child for those “impossible questions” things over on Instagram. Or we might just get more counselor content, which I wouldn’t be mad about!

#pleaseletGraceandAntonbeokaythx

See y’all in the next update post!

The Quarry: Updates!

As promised, “The Quarry” social media has been quite alive and kicking since my initial post theorizing about the game based off of everything released so far, and I am once again here to overanalyze and dive right in!

Also throwing in some stuff here that I missed the first time around because I don’t know how Instagram works. It’s fine.

This particular post will cover updates made on Instagram and TikTok–there is no new podcast episode sadly, BUT we do know that the next episode will release on May 19th and I am READY. I’ve missed Grace and Anton, I hope they’re doing well in their little spooky world ❤

Click the image above to check out the Instagram!

INSTAGRAM

Let’s begin by talking about what I missed last time–the little circles at the top of the profile page which I have been informed are “story highlights” I think?

Anyway, currently there are four circles: “DEATH,” “WTF,” “CRYPTIDS,” and “History.”

  1. DEATH–in a frame looking like a potential “Death” tarot card, we see Eliza! She welcomes us to “the show” saying that yes, it is exciting, and terrifying. There are some spooky cuts and sound editing. Eliza then says “this is what might come to pass. A possible future. A path yet unchosen.” At the same time, we see some sort of tarot card burning at the edges in front of us and the text “Make an impossible choice.” There are then some spooky questions for the viewer to answer:
    1. Are you afraid of dying? (the image we see is a tarot card–potentially the Death card)
    2. Death by immolation or drowning? (the image we see is a lovely charred corpse on one side and a peaceful-looking surface of water on the other side)
    3. Would you rather be lost in the woods or lost at sea? (on top, we see Laura from the prologue in the woods and on the bottom, we see who I assume to be Emma swimming in the lake)
    4. Do you believe in afterlife? (the image we see is a lovely group of clouds at sunset. Or sunrise.)
    5. Would you rather be buried or cremated? (on top, some guy throwing dirt into a grave in slow-motion and on the bottom, a casket in flames. Nice.)
    6. After that, it cuts back to Eliza, who says “Help me help you. And remember–what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.”
      1. FUN. CHARMING. HAPPY. DELIGHTFUL.
      2. It’s hard to tell how much of this is actually pointing at in-game knowledge, or just serves as a fun marketing scheme for their choice-based game. Both make sense, but if it is pointing at in-game stuff, that leads to more questions.
      3. Is there an in-game reasoning for why they chose the questions they did? If nothing else, it may just be reminding us that each character has like, 10-12 different possible death scenes. Yikes.
      4. Having Eliza say the phrase “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger” is on the one hand, a fun nod to what we saw in the Prologue as Laura found that phrase on the bottom of the camp map. But on the other hand, it makes you wonder…how exactly is the summer camp connected to the Harum Scarum show? If that phrase is more of the camp’s tagline, why does Eliza know and use it here? Does that also point more to what the monsters could be in the game? Werewolves? Vampires?…Zombies? Could be anything where the lore involves some element of turning into the creature after a bite or a scratch that doesn’t kill the victim. Or something. And does any of this have to do with “Silas the Dog Boy” and his destroyed cage in the woods? HMMMMM…
  2. WTF–this one is all about our friendly neighborhood paranormal podcast, Bizarre Yet Bonafide. It mostly seems to be the preview posts we discussed last time, where the title cards for each episode are displayed on an old-timey computer monitor with the sticky note “Rabbit Hole” in the corner.
    1. Nothing new here, and it only has the posts for the first two episodes. But it still begs the question–why the use of the “Rabbit Hole” sticky note?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN??? Is there some Alice in Wonderland lore we’re gonna need to watch out for now????
  3. CRYPTIDS–Eliza’s back! This is another round of questions for the viewer, and this one starts with Eliza leaning back in a chair, a big crow friend perched by her shoulder (yay crow friend!!). She’s looking up, not at us, as she says “I was hoping you’d come back to me.” Once she does look at us, we get some spooky cuts before it fades to black and she gives us the same introduction of “this is what might come to pass…” so on and so forth. The questions this time around are:
    1. Have you ever experienced “a glitch in the matrix?” (the image for this one looks like it could be Laura’s eye looking in the cellar from the prologue, but it could be something we haven’t seen yet. Shots of eyes looking into small openings are classic horror fodder, after all. However, signs do point to it being Laura because we see the…thing she saw in the cellar, and the last clip is Laura walking away. Still though, who knows?)
    2. Do you think reality is simply a simulation? (The image here is a slow pan back and forth across three different computer monitors. Maybe security cameras? The first two seem to mostly be showing woodland with nothing of note there, but the third monitor has the rainbow screen of death…something interfered with the feed. GOOD. AWESOME. We then see our pal Dylan before it cuts to the next question)
    3. Have you seen or heard anything unexplainable in nature? (the image here is shirtless Jacob looking around the woods at night…is this right before he steps in that rope trap that pulls him up upside-down? Babes get OUT OF THERE what are you DOING)
    4. Ever felt unwelcome in nature or being “studied?” (the image here first is what might be a tree at night with a spider crawling along, and then it cuts to a worn sign that reads “WARNING QUARRY AREA KEEP OUT” so…naturally, they won’t be doing that)
    5. Which is more likely to actually exist: Aliens, visiting and walking among us, or cryptids (sasquatch, chupacabra, mothman)? (the image here is a drawing on the left of some guy with squid tentacles for a face (CTHULU????) and a hand below that covered in little suckers like an octopus, and on the right, a drawing of, presumably, our friend Bigfoot)
      1. Hoo boy there is a LOT to unpack here! For starters, it’s worth noting that this is the first time in game-specific advertising that cryptids have been mentioned. They dive into it a lot in the podcast, but the game hasn’t really gone there yet. Until now! This isn’t totally surprising, given the nature of Until Dawn and the confirmation that The Quarry is functioning as a spiritual successor, but it’s still fun knowledge to have.
      2. What is up with all the speak about life being a simulation and “glitches in the matrix?” Unless it’s a fun little conspiracy theory one of our counselor friends happens to have. But maybe it’s referencing what’s going on at the camp in general–is it some sort of experiment? Is that what happened to the Harum Scarum show, or are they in on it? Speaking of…
      3. Odd how the “cryptid” section spends a lot of time talking about reality being a simulation and being “studied” in nature. Tie that into the question about whether aliens living among us or cryptids are more likely, and it opens up this whole other branch about game story possibilities. Is the camp, and therefore the whole quarry area, some sort of alien experiment studying humans? Seeing the aliens could lead to rumors about cryptids, after all. It’s not my favorite theory, right now it kind of gives off “it was all a dream” vibes and I think the overall story would benefit from a neater twist than that. Still, I think there’s probably a way to pull it off.
      4. All of this also makes you wonder…why on EARTH are they still hosting a children’s summer camp every year in this area full of experimenting aliens and missing hikers and cryptids and whoever knows what else?? Clearly, some characters are aware of the dangers outside of the “safe” time when the camp actually happens (Chris is agitated and worried about the counselors staying an extra night in the trailer, and Sheriff Travis really tries his best (kinda) to make sure Max and Laura don’t arrive at the camp until they’re supposed to) so why the insistence on the camp happening in the first place? So far from what I gather there are no rumors about children attending the camp going missing, so they’re probably not being experimented on or whatever, so…why? What is so special about the summer camp, and why is it crucial to only be there during that exact timeframe and not a moment sooner or later?
      5. Does this have to do with what Grace was talking about in the podcast with the nix being more active on Thursdays
  4. History–I don’t know why the others are all capitalized and this one isn’t, but ANYWAY. Eliza’s here again! She seems more agitated and impatient in this one, for whatever that’s worth. She begins by saying “Two futures to see, but only one can be seen. Make your choice.” The questions for this section are as follows:
    1. Can you sleep with the closet door open? (the image for this one is the shot from the prologue where Travis stands in front of the open cellar door after chaos has ensued. I never noticed before the specific zoom in on the goosebumps on his neck…WHAT? WHY?? AAA????)
    2. Can a place have memories? (the image for this one is from the prologue as well–it’s when Laura is looking at the camp map)
    3. Does your hometown have a dark past? (the image for this one is a slow pan from the trees during the day over to a sign that reads “Hackett’s Quarry Summer Camp est. 1953”)
    4. Has anyone died where you live now? (the image for this one is Max and Laura looking around the creepy cellar. Before Max is attacked. Poor Max)
    5. Would u burn it all down if it set the “stuff” trapped free? (the image for this one is a little hard to make out–it looks like the silhouette of some fairy lights with sparks flying around, a few of the tarot cards from the game blowing by, also burning at the edges. Hmmmm…)
      1. I’m assuming the “history” title is referencing the history of the Hackett’s Quarry area, which is what I hope we’ll get into in the podcast soon! All of the questions here seem to be pointing to the conclusion that yes, something terrible happened at Hackett’s Quarry. I mean, duh, but it’s fascinating to think about–can a place have memories? How many spooky stories involve a house where someone (or many someones) was killed? So the basic conclusion we can come to is that something absolutely awful happened at the Harum Scarum show and whatever it was, it lives on to haunt the summer camp, or at least the area in general.
      2. Why the specificity of the fire question? It could just be an allusion to the ending of Until Dawn when the characters blow the house up in order to survive, but…what if that’s one of the things that happened to the Harum Scarum show? Maybe the shot of the burning tarot cards blowing in the wind is from a scene where the show burns to the ground one night. This could also be discussed in the podcast episode titled “No Hoax Without Fire.” We’ll have to wait and see!

Now that we’ve covered the story highlights, let’s talk about the new posts!

  1. Nick is here!! His first intro video has a couple fast shots that are hard to make out, but from what I can tell, there’s a brief glimpse of him covered in blood, a brief shot of…a wolf face lunging? A wild boar? I can’t tell fam. There’s also a shot of him holding up a gun, but I can’t make out the other cuts.
  2. There’s a short little video with one of the official gifs released that shows Ryan yelling “HEY”
  3. Nick’s second video introduces him as “the nerd, polite, quiet, handsome” and then there’s a shot of him yelling while being pounced on by…something as it flashes to “smart.” WHY IS SMART HIS NEGATIVE TRAIT?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, GUYS
  4. There’s another clip from the third podcast episode, where Anton talks about how monstrous humans can be. Great.
  5. There’s a post about Anne Radcliffe!! As you may recall, Anne is one of the missing hikers that Grace identified in the podcast. Grace presumes Anne is the body that got up and walked away. The post is a missing persons poster for Anne, and we get to see her face! The text describes that she was last seen on March 15th driving to Hackett’s Woods Hiking Trail in North Kill, NY. What this does tell us is we don’t actually know for sure if she ever made it to Hackett’s Woods…could be alien abduction apparently, or she’s a werewolf. I love that they’re doing posts about the podcast!!
  6. The newest post is actually Part 1 of showing what everyone answered to the story highlight questions. Although some of the questions are not in those highlights, so they may have been in the actual story? Again, I don’t know how Instagram works. Interestingly, they’re all relatively evenly split, except for the overwhelming majority of people who said they’d rather be lost in the woods than at sea. We’ve all seen Shark Week. We understand.
    1. The post starts with Eliza again, saying “there’s no shame in not wanting to glimpse into the futures that may come to be. All I’m trying to do is help. The last thing I want to do is take your choices from you, like mine were taken from me.” Wh–what? Eliza? You okay?? What choices were taken from you??
      1. maybe she’s just talking about her choices when it came to abortion were taken away haha thanks america
    2. One of the questions new to me is “Something’s coming. Who do you save?” and the choices are “my best friend” or “my partner/crush.” Most people chose the friend, but it’s not an overwhelming majority. The two people pictured are Nick and Emma…is this an Abigail question? Does she have to choose between them?? Ughhhhhhhhhhh
    3. Another new question is “do you feel like you truly know your friends and family?” Most people said yes, but again, not an overwhelming majority. What’s interesting to note is the picture they show here, a black and white framed photograph of two boys on the shores of the lake, smiling. Iiiiiiiinteresting…who are they? Did Chris, the head of the camp, have a brother at one point? We know Supermassive looooooves tragic stories about siblings (RIP Beth, Hanna, and Josh (#JOSHDESERVEDBETTER))…HMMMMMMMM
    4. Another new question is “do you trust your friends and family with your life?” and this was a bigger gap in answers, with 70% of people trusting their peeps. The image here is the counselors at their late-night bonfire party. Then there’s a brief cut to Ryan saying “wow…um…I guess ‘both’ is off the table?” which makes me think some of these questions may make an appearance in the game–maybe this is something the counselors talk about at the bonfire, and the player gets to answer these questions in the game as well. A fun idea, I like it! Also, I’m terrified at how choosing specific answers may affect my playthrough! I’m stressed out now!
    5. One important thing to note is that in this video, I was finally able to make out the burning tarot card that briefly passes by on all of these videos about impossible choices–The Tower. Props to Supermassive, here, because with this knowledge, I once again remain cautiously optimistic about how tarot will be used in the game. While Death is the card that most people glom on to as “THIS IS THE BAD CARD” it’s not necessarily the case–more often than not, the Death card could refer to new beginnings, the death of something that was holding you back, so on and so forth. It symbolizes an ending, but more importantly, it symbolizes a new beginning. The Tower is actually the card you really want to watch out for. While the meaning varies depending on everything from the placement of the card in the spread to the reader giving the reading and how they interpret the cards, it’s roughly true that the Tower is generally…not great. It can represent anything like sudden upheaval because of tragedy, chaos, destruction, sudden change that doesn’t feel good, so on and so forth (again, it depends on the context of the spread). Ultimately, this chaos and destruction could be beneficial, but usually this card points to, shall we say, the storm before the calm, and it probably isn’t going to be a fun ride. What does this mean for the game? NOTHING GOOD, PROBABLY.

That’s everything from Instagram for now!

Click the image above to check out the TikTok page!

TIKTOK

We have three new videos to look at!

  1. The first is the same as Instagram, the first intro video for Nick with flashes to him holding a gun and a wolf/wild boar?
  2. The second is from his point of view with a fun song playing and the text reading “SUMMER VIBES” and it’s all very harmless and happy, with lots of beautiful shots of him and Abigail exploring the camp near sunset. AWWWWW except then it cuts to him (and possibly Abigail?) yelling, a shot of him on the ground covered in blood, him being pounced on by something…YAY SUMMER VIBES AM I RIGHT
  3. The third is a clip of some of our counselor buddies talking and joking around: Dylan, Ryan, and Kaitlyn are talking about a podcast (I’m assuming it’s a podcast Ryan is listening to and I’m assuming….it’s Bizarre Yet Bonafide). Dylan asks what it’s about, asking if it’s about him 😉 and Ryan goes into panic mode like “YOU…THINK I’M LISTENING TO A PODCAST…ABOUT YOU” Kaitlyn says “okay if anyone here had a podcast about them, it’d be me.” Dylan then fires back “yeah, if there was a podcast about how to look and smell like a butt.” Offended, Kaitlyn says “oh my god, you are so childish!” to which Dylan replies “at least I don’t look and smell like a butt” and then a cheesy laugh track plays. Iconic dorks, first of all, but this post also tells us when the next Bizarre Yet Bonafide is coming out–May 19th!!

Those are all the updates we have for now! I will of course post another update when the new podcast episode is out, and we may have some other social media updates by then as well. We still need counselor videos about Abigail, but once those are out, I’m not sure what’s next on the plate…will we get similar videos for Chris and the other adult characters, or do they have something else up their sleeve since the other characters are not playable ones for us?

Also, fingers crossed we find out what happened to Anne Radcliffe. I’m sure she’s fine.

Right?

Splicing Up The Details of “The Quarry”–Everything We Know So Far (plus some theorizing!)

Do you ever see a preview for something and you get just like, irrationally excited for it and it becomes essentially your entire personality for the foreseeable future?

No just me?

Okay cool

ANYWAY

In 2015, the developer Supermassive Games released Until Dawn, a sort of choose-your-own-adventure novel come to life with impressive graphics and even more impressive acting thanks to a full cast featuring the likes of Hayden Panettiere and Rami Malek (am I biased? Yes leave me alone). Though Supermassive had worked on a few games prior, Until Dawn was their first big success even with the lackluster advertising for it on Sony’s part (isn’t that always the way?). The game was certainly a love letter to classic horror tropes and stories, featuring a drama-filled group of teenagers, a giant mansion in the middle of nowhere, a serial killer in a creepy mask, mysterious creatures in the woods, and of course, absolutely heartbreaking plot twists and story elements.

The game also heavily makes use of the butterfly effect mechanic–basically, the smallest decisions made early on can have the most disastrous consequences later (the effect was named for the idea that a tornado can be caused by something as seemingly inconsequential as a butterfly flapping its wings weeks earlier). It really takes the whole “your actions have consequences” to the next extreme level, as all of the characters’ fates are in your hands and it’s possible to get through the game with everyone alive…or dead. Up to you!

Despite some backlash in the years since its release (the use of the wendigo and some characters’ fates being unalterable no matter what you do #JOSHDESERVEDBETTER I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL), it still has a massive fan following and proved that Supermassive could bring something new to the horror game genre.

This is important to note because the horror game scene at this time was ruled by one particular indie series: Five Nights at Freddy’s. Since the first installment’s release in mid-2014, we were all swarmed by sequels and fangames and anything even remotely similar that you could imagine. No matter one’s personal opinions on it, the FNaF series absolutely changed everything and inspired a whole swath of games focused on childhood memories made creepy, games with a 5-night/chapter format, games set in the 70’s and 80’s filled with dead children and their ghosts for some reason? etc. and so on. By 2015 though and the release of FNaF 4, it was becoming clear that some horror fans wanted something different, the tried-and-true FNaF formula becoming a little stale. Combine that environment with the recent success earned by choice-driven story games such as Beyond: Two Souls and Life is Strange, Supermassive really had the perfect time handed to them to release Until Dawn, and I think that was part of the reason for its success.

That, and I and many others just really like the game.

andbelievethatJoshdeservedbetterbecausehedoesthankyew

Following the massive success of Until Dawn, Supermassive got to work on a “non-canonical” spin-off called Until Dawn: Rush of Blood and a prequel called The Inpatient. Following that, Supermassive continued working in the horror scene by releasing a series of games as a part of what they call The Dark Pictures Anthology. So far three games have been released in the series and a fourth is on the way. (I haven’t personally been following Dark Pictures but I keep meaning to, that’s on me.)

Alas, years passed, and it seemed like the horror game trope of controlling dumb but lovable teenagers in an impossible situation was all but forgotten by Supermassive…

UNTIL DAWN NOW.

Officially unveiled on March 18 this year and officially considered a spiritual successor to Until Dawn, The Quarry gives players the chance to save (or not) a whole quirky group of camp counselors, stuck at a summer camp longer than they should be.

While the game isn’t set to come out until June 10 (giving me plenty of time to decide if I’ll be able to actually play it myself or just watch someone else deal with everything), Supermassive and IGN First have been releasing plenty of content for us to sink our teeth into while we wait.

So, just for fun (and because this game is my current hyperfixation), let’s dive into roughly everything we know so far and can theorize about based on what’s floating out on the Internet currently.

THE BASICS

On the surface, here’s what we know for sure: players will take control of 9 different camp counselors throughout the game and make various decisions that range from the seemingly mundane to the absolutely critical, ultimately deciding their fates. Just like in Until Dawn, it’s possible to save all the characters (exceptforJoshWHODESERVEDBETTER) but it’s also possible to kill everyone off–it all depends on what decisions you make. And also just like in Until Dawn, you only have one night to save (or kill) everyone.

We also know the tagline for the game: “you won’t believe what you’ll become.” Cute!

As for the characters, according to the official website, the camp counselors are as follows:

  1. Laura (counselor, played by Siobhan Williams)–definitely seems to be the no-nonsense, organized one of the group. She is “excited to spend a quiet summer in the woods” before she begins her veterinarian studies in the fall. Oh, my sweet summer child…
  2. Max (counselor, played by Skyler Gisondo)–Laura’s class clown boyfriend, noted for having a “friendly attitude and unfaltering loyalty.” I’m sure that won’t come back to bite him. Literally.
  3. Abigail (counselor, played by Ariel Winter)–seems to be the quiet, artsy, romantic of the group. She’s described as being “sweet and sincere,” which unfortunately means she probably won’t last that long. I could be wrong, though!
  4. Kaitlyn (counselor, played by Brenda Song)–basically described as being the exact opposite of Abigail, Kaitlyn is outgoing and often the de facto leader of the group. Apparently though she isn’t the best at “express[ing] her own needs in stressful situations.” Good thing this game won’t have any stressful situations! Haha. Ha.
  5. Nick (counselor, played by Evan Evagora)–described as that classic teen heartthrob serving us a classic combination of handsomeness and hidden vulnerability. Also, he’s apparently bad at letting people in. Cue the swarms of “I CAN FIX HIM” girls.
  6. Emma (counselor, played by Halston Sage)–because it wouldn’t be a modern horror media piece without some selfie footage, Emma is our “aspiring influencer” and the individual in charge of drama activities at the camp.
  7. Ryan (counselor, played by Justice Smith)–all I can think of based on his description on the website is that meme about Jughead from Riverdale. You know the one. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a weirdo. I’m weird. I don’t fit in.” Now all he needs is a signature hat.
  8. Dylan (counselor, played by Miles Robbins)–apparently beloved for his “oddball humor” and musical knowledge? But like any good teenager, he’s “terrified of rejection.”…actually, do any of us ever grow out of that?
  9. Jacob (counselor, played by Zach Tinker)–IT’S THE JOCK BOY! HERE HE IS! I will note also that his description specifically mentions how he wants all his counselor buddies to have a fun time…but specifically Emma. ~ooOOooOOooh~
  10. Chris (camp owner, played by David Arquette)–described as the father figure of the summer camp, I’m sure he will be super good at making sure nothing awful happens to any of the counselors. Really. Definitely. For sure.
  11. Travis (sheriff, played by Ted Raimi)–his website description is ominously short and tells us…nothing. Except that he intends to protect and serve. But…protect and serve what exactly?
  12. Jedediah (ominous old man, played by Lance Henriksen)–his description is unhelpfully “they can’t wait to meet you…” so…uh…maybe he’s nice?
  13. Bobby (ominous big shoulder man, played by Ethan Suplee)–same description, so…maybe also nice?
  14. Constance (ominous old woman, played by Lin Shaye)–I’m sure definitely nice?
  15. Eliza (ominous old woman #2, played by Grace Zabriskie)–her description is “she knew you were coming…” so maybe she had cookies ready for us? That would be nice.

The website also features the trailer, some screenshots, descriptions for the fun add-ons included in the pre-order bonus, a FAQ, and a podcast (more on that later).

So, armed with that knowledge, let’s dive into the trailer.

Click the image above to see the trailer!

THE TRAILER

The trailer starts happily enough, seeing a school bus full of happy, singing children heading back home after another cheerful year at summer camp. Some of the camp counselors are seeing them off–we can make out 5 of the 9 counselors here. We can clearly see Jacob, Kaitlyn, and Emma, but the two figures on the balcony are out of focus, and we can only guess…perhaps Abigail and Nick? One of them does seem to be wearing the red flannel Nick wears in other clips, and based on the hints that he and Abigail become ~a thing~ we can assume she might be with him. Again, though, it’s not explicitly clear. If that is the case, however, the counselors missing from this shot are Laura, Max, Ryan, and Dylan. Dunno if that means anything, but we believe in over-analyzing in this house.

Next, the trailer shows us Chris (owner of the camp) telling an unseen counselor that he wants to get the kids safely home before sunset. However…the car won’t start. Because this is a horror thing, after all. Chris seems to have an irrational reaction to this bump in the road, however, frustratingly telling the counselors that he “thought [he] told them to check everything.” In this next shot, we can clearly make out Kaitlyn, Emma, and Abigail, but the two figures on the right aren’t as clear–could be Dylan and Ryan or Nick, however. It’s Jacob, though, who tells Chris to chill; they’ll all just spend one more night at the camp, it’s not that big a deal. Chris practically yells that NO, it is a big deal!! And he says to stop, just let him think.

It’s worth noting that there are probable cuts here to make the trailer flow–Chris is inside the car when he voices his initial frustration, then he’s out of the car and standing when he asks them to let him think. So basically, it’s possible there are moments in the game between these lines not shown in the trailer. ~spooky~

The trailer then shows us various shots of the woods (possibly from the point of view of something running rather quickly through the woods), the outside of the lodge, Chris getting into a presumably working car while Ryan talks to him, and then Chris driving off. This is all shown while Chris talks over the images, telling the counselors to keep everyone inside, lock the doors, and do not let anyone in or out. He claims he’ll be back first thing in the morning. (Suuuuure, Chris)

So now we can establish something else the trailer likely shows us in order to throw us off. When Chris initially expresses his frustration at the counselors for not checking everything, it seems to imply that the car won’t start–perhaps repairs cannot occur until the following day, hence, the counselors are stuck at the camp an extra night. However, Chris is then shown driving off and leaving everyone there. Are there multiple cars? Is there some other problem Chris was referring to initially that wasn’t shown in the trailer? Unclear, potentially unimportant. We’ll find out!

We then cut to our favorite counselors having a bonfire on the beach that night–because a jumpy adult told them to stay inside, so naturally, they didn’t do that. I don’t know these actors well enough (yet) to recognize their voices, but as the next clips play, we hear one counselor suggesting to another that “hey wouldn’t it be totally spooky and crazy if we were out here partying and then we get hunted by people? I mean think about it, summer camp is over…hunting season has begun…” The clips shown here start to come a little faster–we have the bonfire, where we can clearly see 7 of our 9 counselors (at least in that shot) and it seems to be Kaitlyn, Dylan, Jacob, Ryan, Nick, Abigail, and Emma, meaning we’re missing Laura and Max. After that, we see a clip of what looks to be Dylan and Ryan walking around at night. Ryan is notably carrying around what appears to be a rifle of some sort strapped to his back. Next, a shot of two of the mysterious ominous other characters–perhaps Bobby and Jedediah? Then a clip of an unidentifiable character looking around a dark room, two characters walking ahead of them. The shaggy hair tells me it could be Max, but it’s unclear. Next, a short clip of two silhouetted characters in a doorway, potentially at the top of a staircase. It’s unclear who they are. Then, a clip of a carving in a tree, initially saying “Jacob + Emma 4 Ever” but “Ever” has been scratched out and “Summer” written underneath it instead. Ouch. Finally, we have a shot of someone’s eye looking through a crack, and someone breaking a lock with a wrench.

Next, we hear potentially Kaitlyn talk about how she saw a weird light in the treehouse across the lake, saying how it was “pretty spooky.” She turns to Ryan, saying maybe it’s his “girlfriend.” This is played over a clip of Kaitlyn showing something on her phone to Dylan and Ryan. This is cut quickly with Ryan (seemingly at the bonfire) saying in a spooky voice “the hag of Hackett’s Quarry.”

(sidenote–I could not for the life of me figure out what he was saying there until I was looking at the titles of future podcast episodes, one of which is titled “The Hag of Hackett’s Quarry.”)

So we can infer from here that Ryan was likely telling ghost stories at the bonfire (this is backed up by a later clip in the trailer), one of which is, we can assume, a local legend about whoever the mysterious hag is. We can also assume this is who Kaitlyn is referring to as Ryan’s girlfriend. Ha ha, teenagers.

Next, we get a clip of Abigail in some sort of dark ominous room, slowly turning around to face a large vent? Or something? as something whispers ominously (can’t tell what the whisper is saying–could be “Abby” or even “happy” but it also sounds a lot like when Voldemort would whisper “Harry” in the Harry Potter movies, so…idk fam). We then cut to Abigail and likely Nick, sitting super close together in some dark, undisclosed location. ~ooOOooOOooooh~ She asks if Nick heard that (maybe the whisper?) and asks if they should look at what it is.

(No!!! You should not!!! You should get out of there!! Do not investigate, do not pass Go, do not collect $200!)

It then very suddenly cuts to Abigail screaming, and then to black. See? This is why we never investigate!

Next, we see Dylan and likely Ryan, arguing about the mysterious culprit (we don’t know when in the game this conversation takes place, so it’s unclear what has happened to them up to this point prior to this conversation). Ryan suggests bears, which Dylan shoots down, causing Ryan to list other possibilities–zombies, aliens, and my personal favorite: “time-hopping Draculas.” Nice.

While he suggests other things, we get some more clips of that point of view that appears to be something running real fast through the woods. Then, we’re apparently back at the beach bonfire, with Ryan pointing the rifle at something off-screen. Someone says “uh…Ryan?”, Ryan yells “HEY!” at whatever he’s pointing the rifle at, and then everything cuts to black as we hear something growl/snarl/yell/roar.

The next clips all come REAL fast, so here’s what I was able to piece together:

  1. a very brief moment of what looks to be Bobby (ominous big shoulder man) hunched over and holding up…someone unconscious. Or dead. Can’t make out who the someone is. Bobby is caught in what could be the light from Ryan’s rifle thing. The rifle then fires.
  2. a clip of a shirtless Jacob being hauled up by one foot in some sort of trap thing, perhaps?
  3. shirtless Jacob being dragged away, except now the lighting is all red. Jacob (I assume) is yelling something during these clips, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. He does yell “please” at some point.
  4. some unknown voice says what I think is “we ain’t playing games no more, little girl” while we get more footage of “point of view of something unknown running real fast through the woods” and then a brief clip of some girl swimming (?) while she turns her head to look at something. Based on the hair, the girl could be Emma.
  5. a different unknown voice shouts that “there’s something…something coming!” while we see Travis the creepy sheriff shoot at something off-screen.
  6. while yet another unknown voice starts ominously counting to 3, we get a clip of Dylan walking into a room and yelling in fear at something unseen
  7. then a clip of an unknown individual running through the woods–based on the hair, this could be Laura
  8. then a clip of Ryan’s face
  9. before the creepy unknown voice gets to 3, we hear a different voice say “we’re lost Max, we’re lost” (thanks to the “first 30 minutes of gameplay” video released a few weeks ago (which I’ll cover next) we know this voice is Laura!) and we see a brief shot of a few of the counselors…in the woods? Looking for/being frightened of something? We can clearly make out Jacob, Abigail, Nick, and Kaitlyn in that moment
  10. next we see a shot of an unknown individual from behind, standing in front of an open doorway of some sort, potentially holding a gun (once again, thanks to the 30 minutes of gameplay video, we know this is Sheriff Travis!)
  11. the next audio clip we get is another unknown voice saying, quite helpfully, “terrified kids is bad for business.” You don’t say!
  12. under that audio, we see two different clips: one is two individuals in a car, driving off the road and through a fence (yet again, thanks to the gameplay video, we know this is Max and Laura!). The next clip is what looks to be Abigail, crawling through a tunnel of some sort while the screen shakes and rocks fall all around her.
  13. this next section is a doozy: while we hear an unknown voice desperately plead “you have to cut it off–cut it off, cut it off!!” (I’m assuming this will be referring to a limb of some sort? That’s unfortunate) we see a whole bunch of stuff–an out of focus close-up of someone reaching out and screaming, then possibly Travis’s eyes, then a dark room in what I’m assuming is the lodge with some characters looking up before a figure drops down in front of them (from what I can piece together, it looks like Dylan and Ryan playing with fire and then it actually cuts to a different moment (yay cinnamontography!) where it looks like Bobby is looking on in horror at some sort of…not-human thing (I’m just saying, the bit of silhouette we see is crouched in a not comfy position and its skin looks like it’s seen better days) and then it cuts again to yet another moment which we can confirm thanks to the gameplay video–it’s Max being jumped by something while Laura stands a few feet away, unsuspecting). WHEW.

After that crazy montage cuts to black, we jump to Chris talking with Ryan, chastising him for telling ghost stories (maybe this is where the “terrified kids is bad for business” line actually comes into play?). Chris jokingly tells him just to “stick to Kumbaya next time” but Ryan looks confused. After Chris asks in disbelief if they don’t do that anymore and Ryan just stares at him, the trailer moves on to probably my favorite montage of the whole thing: character introductions while a, yes, creepy version of “Kumbaya” plays in the background. Amazing. 10/10.

This is, of course, another fast-paced moment, so here’s what I can glean:

  1. a quick shot of someone whispering in someone’s ear (it’s hard to tell who either party is–however, thanks to the gameplay video, this could be Laura and Eliza)
  2. a quick shot of an unidentified figure running behind who I think is Laura (thanks to the gameplay video) out in the woods
  3. a shot of Chris, introducing them as being played by David Arquette (it’s worth noting that most of these shots introducing the characters and actors don’t seem to give that much away, at least on the surface–I will note some things)
  4. a shot of Abigail, introducing them as being played by Ariel Winter
  5. a shot of Ryan, introducing them as being played by Justice Smith
  6. a shot of Kaitlyn, introducing them as being played by Brenda Song
  7. a shot of Emma, introducing them as being played by Halston Sage
  8. a shot of Laura, introducing them as being played by Siobhan Williams
  9. a shot of Max, introducing them as being played by Skyler Gisondo
  10. a shot of Nick, introducing them as being played by Evan Evagora
  11. a shot of Dylan, introducing them as being played by Miles Robbins
  12. a shot of Jacob, introducing them as being played by Zach Tinker
  13. a shot of Travis, introducing them as being played by Ted Raimi
  14. a shot of Jedediah, introducing them as being played by Lance Henriksen (at first I thought he was wearing a hospital gown, but I don’t think that’s it–he does look…unwell, if that makes sense. I don’t see any visible blood, but he definitely looks angry and…yeah)
  15. a shot of Constance, introducing them as being played by Lin Shaye (this shot definitely has her talking to someone, but we don’t see whom–maybe she’s actually nice after all? Please?)
  16. a shot of Eliza, introducing them as being played by Grace Zabriskie (please. Please tell me that the room she’s in for this shot isn’t filled with skulls. Please tell me those aren’t skulls…they’re skulls, aren’t they)
  17. a shot of Bobby, introducing them as being played by Ethan Suplee (he looks very angry and redneck-y in this shot. Also very sweaty? WHAT WAS HE DOING PRIOR TO THIS)

The screen cuts to black again before revealing the title and other relevant release information, while an unknown voice says “hello my friend. Welcome…to the show.” (based on information from the gameplay video and the way the voice sounds, I think we can infer that this is Eliza speaking. What she’s welcoming us to and whether we want to be there or not…ehhhhhhhh)

Cool! We all good and confused now? Me too.

Click the image above to watch the video!

THE GAMEPLAY TRAILER

So like I mentioned before, IGN First released a video of the first 30 minutes of gameplay for The Quarry (so, essentially, we got the prologue).

(You can also find the first 30 minutes on the 2k Games channel and the Supermassive Games channel)

Basically: we are introduced to Laura and Max, two new camp counselors on their way to Hackett’s Quarry summer camp. Laura keeps insisting they are lost, while Max keeps insisting they are not. Suddenly, something is in the road in front of them, causing Max to swerve off the road. After crashing into (or narrowly avoiding, depending on your reflexes) a few things, Max and Laura exit the car so Max can survey any damage. While he works on that, Laura goes off investigating because she’s convinced it was a person they almost hit, and she wants to see if they need help. She finds a lot of weird things, but none of them are a person. Probably. Suddenly spooked, Laura runs back to the car and tells Max she saw something, they need to get back in the car and get out of there. Unfortunately, the engine is stalling, and this gives Travis the creepy sheriff a chance to come over to say hi. Travis asks what happened and where the kids are headed, which is when we learn that Max and Laura are one night early for camp, but Laura claims it’s okay because she called ahead and “they know we’re coming” (hey remember how Eliza’s character description is “she knew you were coming” hahahah cool). Travis insists that they will not head to camp tonight and instead will go to a nearby motel. He shows Laura the route on her map, but she uses this opportunity to learn the location of the camp as well. Totally turned off by the weird cop, Laura and Max head to the camp anyway. However, no one is there, and Max asks if Laura actually spoke with the owner or just left a voicemail (hint: it’s the latter). Frustrated, Max goes back to the car to leave, but Laura looks around a bit, spying something (or someone?) in some sort of storm cellar thing on the side of the lodge. It’s locked, so she asks Max to bring some tools over. After breaking the lock, Laura and Max head inside, where Laura spies a, um…rib cage? But instead of telling Max immediately, she doesn’t? And then Max is jumped by something. When Laura goes to him, he seems to be bleeding heavily from some sort of wound on his shoulder. Laura can decide to take him or leave him behind, but regardless: Max gets dragged away, screaming, and Laura gets injected with something that knocks her out. Travis shakes his head, shooting at something in the cellar, before yelling “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HARBINGER MOTEL TO YOU??”

(Yes. The motel is actually called “the Harbinger Motel.” In this instance though, I don’t think the motel would have been a harbinger of doom and may have saved them…ah well, we’ll never know.)

Good times!

The video shows us a few things:

  1. How the gameplay will work with the cutscenes. Like Until Dawn, The Quarry seems to mainly be an interactive movie of sorts, and it’s not shying away from that–so if that’s not your thing, you probably won’t enjoy this. Basically, cutscene segments will be interrupted occasionally with dialogue prompts or QTEs (quick time events) for various actions, whether that be dodging a branch while running from an unknown being, catching a falling phone, or deciding to look at a pamphlet or a map (WHAT KIND OF CONSEQUENCES COULD THIS DECISION HAVE I DON’T UNDERSTAND??). Basically, unless you have it set to Movie Mode, there’s never really a safe time for you to just be chilling and watching the action unfold–you never know when you’ll be called upon to make a decision. Exploration moments are interspersed with the cutscenes, allowing you to take control of a character and direct them to walk somewhere or investigate something–and fret not, there are plenty of choices in these moments as well (for example: do you snoop around in your boyfriend’s trunk to find his college rejection letter? It cracks me up that Laura asks herself why Max didn’t tell her about this but like–their character descriptions!! Laura, you’re an overachiever dating the class clown!! You apparently want to go to college together!! Of course he’d be nervous to tell you!!! Anyway)
  2. Collectibles! In Until Dawn, you could find various totems scattered throughout the game that could potentially help (or maybe hinder?) you in various ways. In the Prologue, it looks like those totems will be replaced by tarot cards, something I am very excited about. Appropriately, the card Laura finds is the Fool–generally, a card of new beginnings and possibly walking into the unknown. Yeah, that checks out. I’m excited to see if the tarot cards will play different roles like the totems did–perhaps different suits tell you something different, or it means something to find a major arcana card rather than a minor arcana card. Tarot is often misused in media (the Death card does not actually mean death, fam…) so I’m curious to see how it will be applied here. I’m sure the tarot cards tie into the poster Laura finds that seems to hint at Eliza (ominous old woman #2) being some sort of famous fortune teller or the like. This would also explain her line (if it is her speaking) at the end of the reveal trailer when she welcomes someone to a show.
  3. Situational hints! As Laura and Max talk with Travis, the player receives little notices on the side of the screen, alerting them to how, in this case, Travis is reacting to their choices. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out in the game, potentially warning us if characters don’t believe us when we’re lying to them, or letting us know how they’re feeling if they’re not being obvious about it. These hints seem to be more tied into the “smaller” choices you make throughout the game that affect relationships between characters more than anything else. Unlike the…
  4. BIG CHOICES. There are two instances in the Prologue where big choices happen, and you can tell that’s what they are because after you decide, the screen goes a little static-y and warns you that there has been a “PATH CHOSEN.” This is super ominous and will haunt me forever, thanks. Now, unlike in, say, Life is Strange, where the big choices are super obvious because the screen freezes for a bit to let you decide, this game doesn’t seem to make it that obvious–while the choice of helping or leaving Max definitely seems to be a big choice and makes sense that it is one, Laura’s conversation with Travis isn’t built up as a big choice and yet still gives you that ominous “PATH CHOSEN” screen. WHAT DOES IT MEAN. And will you be able to see the decision tree at some point so you can know where everything may have gone wrong so you can avoid that next time? Only time will tell.
  5. There’s something very wrong with Hackett’s Quarry…I mean, DUH. The big thing the trailer tells us is that it’s not a good thing AT ALL that the camp counselors are stuck there a night longer than they’re supposed to be. This Prologue, however, confirms that and takes it a step further–they can’t even be one night early because things still go horribly wrong. Laura claims to Travis that they spoke with Hackett and he knows they’re coming early. Even with this knowledge, Travis urges them to spend the night at a nearby motel instead. Not trusting Travis, however, (an unfortunate decision) Laura and Max go to the camp anyways, where Max learns that Laura was lying–er, well, stretching the truth. She did call Hackett to say they were coming early, but she left a voicemail and never heard back from him. So it’s safe to say Hackett doesn’t know they’re there. (which leads to a separate line of questioning–if it’s such a bad thing to be at the camp outside the allotted time, why doesn’t Hackett make more of an effort to check his phone just in case something like this happens? Surely this isn’t the first time? Unless…Hackett can’t check his phone…hmmmmmm) Deciding to investigate because that’s just who Laura is, she peers through a crack in the…storm cellar? Basement thing? I dunno, but she sees what she thinks is someone trapped down there…but they’re gone when Max comes over to see. While the camera work in the beginning suggests something running way too quickly to be human through the woods, it seems that the only being Laura actually stumbles upon when she’s out there is an old (probably human) woman (Eliza?). This is not the case for the creature in the cellar, however, as Laura and Max discover. Whatever is down there shares its space with a very unfortunate rib cage of…something, and it tackles Max behind Laura, giving him a nasty bite (?) on the shoulder. It then drags him away and Laura gets knocked out by Travis, frustrated that the two of them didn’t go to the motel like he asked. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.
  6. Though the release trailer hints at humans hunting humans being one of the monstrous elements, they’re also not shying away from the fact that there is something more…unnatural at play, also. Creepy as Travis is, by the end of the Prologue, it really seems like he was trying to help the kids by steering them away from the camp before they’re actually supposed to be there. It’s just a shame he came off as so unsettling they decide not to listen to him. Ah well. Horror’s gotta horror.
  7. So what happens to Laura and Max? We unfortunately don’t know. It’s possible that they are only the Prologue characters, and they don’t survive after Travis finds them (similar to Hannah and Beth in Until Dawn). It would be a shame, of course, but it is strange that, at least in the release trailer, we don’t see them at all with the other 7 counselors (potentially–some of the clips went by real quickly). It’s also worth noting that the poster has Max and Laura separate from the other counselors as well–their faces are above the others and not included in the happy bonfire gang. However, Supermassive also makes the point to say in multiple places that the player takes control of all 9 counselors, and in the Prologue, the player never actually controls Max, only Laura. So it’s possible that Laura may be out of commission after the Prologue (RIP) but Max may come back somehow. Ironic that the one who gets dragged away by the unseen cellar monster is the one who might come back, but hey, ya never know. Honestly I kinda want a playthrough where only Max survives–even in the Prologue he was very much “hey maybe we shouldn’t be doing this” so he deserves to make it out. Am I biased because that actor was Jared in Booksmart? Yes, leave me alone.
  8. We also learn some more specific story-details! Potentially!
    1. It truly is unclear what they almost hit on the road–it looks like something hunched over? Maybe? But it doesn’t seem to react at all to the oncoming car, and it doesn’t chase after them either. Maybe.
    2. There is an option to take a closer look at any clues/tarots you find, but the person playing this for the video doesn’t give us that luxury D: I get it, but also…D:
    3. Besides the first tarot card, Laura also stumbles across a weathered poster stuck on a tree for something called “Harum Scarum Sideshow Spectacular.” Some of the poster is missing so we can’t make out every detail (and the player doesn’t investigate further D: ) but it looks like the fortune teller on the poster is indeed Eliza (she knew you were coming, after all!). I can’t make out the text on the left side, but the right side says “Mystery and Magic” and the bottom says “Escapologists and Enigmas.” Oh good!
    4. Not far from the poster, Laura finds an “Escapology Trunk.” Again, the player doesn’t investigate further, so we don’t know what context this will have in the game, but boy if you want a fun time, google “escapology” (the practice, not the escape room business of the same name–although hey, escape rooms are fun!). It’s basically exactly what you’re thinking–the practice essentially coined by Houdini that involves escaping from often impossible situations. It’s an oddly specific thing to include here in the prologue–I’m curious to see how it gets utilized in the game. Or maybe I don’t want to know.
    5. A little while later, Laura comes across what I initially thought was some sort of dilapidated lean-to in the woods but what is apparently a mutilated, absolutely ginormous CAGE. Next to this, she finds a weathered sign that reads “Side Show Act Silas the Dog Boy.” GOOD. GOOD GOOD GOOD. GREAT. AWESOME. Laura decides that’s enough investigation for today, and she leaves.
    6. It’s at this point, however, that she starts hearing voices. What’s interesting is that not all of the voices are clear–that is, they don’t sound like they come from anyone actually physically in the space with her, like it’s too magical for that, it almost sounds like a flashback (or maybe a flash-forward?). At the end, however, we get a closeup of her face and a view of likely an old woman (likely Eliza) whispering very clearly in Laura’s ear: “Silas.” Laura decides that alright, enough is REALLY ENOUGH at this point, and she books it back to the car.
      1. so, okay, clearly this could be hinting at the main monster being werewolves (please be werewolves. I mean, the tagline is “you won’t believe what you’ll become.” C’MON.) perhaps stemming from the original dog boy himself, but that still begs a lot of questions: what happened to the Harum Scarum show? Why is all of this stuff from the show abandoned in the woods? And why is Eliza wandering around whispering dog boy names in people’s ears?
    7. There’s a lot of weirdness and a lot of player choice in the conversation with Travis, but one key detail worth pointing out is what appears to be blood on the side of Travis’s neck. It’s never explained, of course, and maybe its only function is to add to Travis’s overall creepy aura, but if it does come into play…where did it come from? And if he’s so keen on wiping mud from Laura’s face, why does he not wipe the blood from his own neck? Hmmmm…
    8. At the actual camp now, there’s a moment where Laura runs her flashlight over the map of the camp. Her light is small, so we can’t see it all at once, but lucky for you, I tried to piece the full thing together. Huzzah!

As you can see, it looks just like the map Laura finds. Supermassive you can hire me whenever, thanks.

ANYWAY this is fun because as far as I’m aware, it’s our first glance at the overall layout of the camp! The trailer includes a lot of clips from the Firepit and references to the island where the Treehouse is, but I’m curious how these other locations come into play. The Lodge of course seems to be where Laura and Max first arrive, which means the cellar thing is connected there–but what about the Boathouse? The Cabins? THE TREE WALK? (what IS a tree walk? Is this a classic summer camp experience that I just never received? Hmmm…)

It’s also worth noting that even though many clips seem to show underground locations…none of those are on the map.

OR ARE THEY??

THE SOCIAL MEDIA

The Quarry‘s official website directs you to two social media sites to keep up with updates: Instagram and TikTok. Most of the posts seem to be very tongue-in-cheek, and it’s not entirely clear if they are intended to mean anything beyond extra marketing, but let’s dive in anyway, shall we?

  1. INSTAGRAM
    1. Character posts–reels with close-ups of character faces that occasionally flash to other images, as well as reels that show one-word descriptions of the characters before flashing to something more ominous
      1. I can’t make out all of them, but Kaitlyn’s definitely flashes to a crow and Bobby at some point. Kaitlyn’s other video describes her as “the cool kid, wise, goofy” and then it ominously flashes on “lives her life out loud.”
      2. Jacob’s first video definitely flashes to that clip of him being swung upside-down, and there’s also a flash of someone smiling creepily? His other video describes him as “the jock, loud, charismatic, confident” before it ominously flashes to “obnoxious.”
      3. Ryan’s first video is hard to make out, but there’s a definite clip of him possibly covered in blood. His second video describes him as “the loner, brooding, charming, passionate” before it ominously flashes to “sensitive.”
      4. The most obvious flash in Laura’s first video is her face perfectly matching up with definitely Eliza. Interesting!! Her second video describes her as “the fighter, wise, strong, fierce” before ominously flashing to “independent.”
      5. Dylan’s first video also seems to flash to him covered in blood, and there may be a clip of Travis in there also? Hard to say. His second video describes him as “the class clown, loud, confident, funny” before ominously flashing to “hiding behind a persona.” (sidenote–can we talk about how funny it is that both Dylan and Max are described as the class clown in different ads? And if Max does get taken out in the Prologue, it’s like a “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE” moment)
      6. Emma’s first video definitely flashes to a ouija board at some point (horror’s gotta horror) as well as?? A zombie face? Maybe a mummy??? Her second video describes her as “the popular girl, confident, charismatic, plays to an audience” before ominously flashing to “dramatic.” (YEAH I’D BE DRAMATIC TOO IF I WAS STUCK AT THIS SUMMER CAMP)
      7. Max’s first video absolutely flashes to him covered in blood, likely from the Prologue, but there’s also a flash that looks like someone sitting in a chair?? Maybe Max??? We don’t see that in the Prologue–MAX SURVIVAL 2022???? His second video describes him as “Mr. Witty, sarcastic, helpless, friendly” before ominously flashing to “dependent.” (why is helpless one of his positive words??? Justice for Max 2022????)
        1. WE ARE STILL MISSING VIDEOS FOR: Abigail and Nick, as well as the other non-counselor characters (if they get videos?)
    2. Trailers–basically little trailer videos tailor-made for social media.
      1. The very first one is, as we now know, a little audio montage from the Prologue and Travis’s conversation with Laura and Max. Visually, we see the last shot of the Prologue, with the police car pulled over next to Max and Laura’s car, and Travis himself standing in front of the open cellar.
    3. Extras–miscellaneous shorter videos?
      1. The first one is a video of our good influencer pal Emma, talking about the treehouse. Specifically, she mentions that this part of the island is an “unexcavated” part that “re-wilded” itself after “the flood into the lake.” She then jokes about how when she was little, she used to think islands would just “float” in the middle of the water. But, she’s “older and wiser” now and realizes that “not everything is as it seems.” Good. I’m sure that doesn’t mean anything in particular.
      2. The second is related to the podcast–a reel showing a newspaper article with the…really good headline “FOUND BODY FOUND MISSING.” The article basically states that 6 teens were trespassing in the woods near the summer camp and came across a body. They reported it to the police, who stated that once they went to investigate…there was nothing there. None of the area surrounding the supposed body location was disturbed either, so it’s unlikely someone moved it. Still, the police claim that they will continue looking into it. No names are used in the article, but can we semi-confidently say the sheriff interviewed is our good pal Travis?
      3. The third is simply called “Do you see it?” and it’s some shaky camera footage of the woods at night. Near the end, the camera holds on one tree in particular and you can see a silhouette of something slowly move behind the tree. Also the audio sounds like walking and maybe…crunching?? Don’t like that.
      4. The fourth one is a better view of the camp map!! So my map I drew earlier is completely obsolete!! Oh well. I did actually get everything pretty close, except there is an arrow at the bottom of the map that says “this way to scrapyard” which isn’t ominous at all. It also focuses on the text at the bottom of the map that says “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!” haha. Sure.
      5. Next is a slow close-up of a sign warning of the danger of hiking alone at night, specifically saying that many people have been injured and have even lost their lives from falls, hunting accidents, and wildlife attacks. I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about, though.
    4. Podcast–lil preview vids of the podcast!
      1. The first one is a trailer for the first episode, slowly zooming in on an old-fashioned-ish computer monitor which has a sticky note in the corner that says “Rabbit Hole”???
      2. The trailer for the second video is the same, with the same “Rabbit Hole” sticky note. WHAT DOES IT MEAN??
      3. SAME THING FOR EPISODE 3. WHY THE RABBIT HOLE. WHY.
    5. Images–lol who posts pictures anymore
      1. The first is the game poster with the absolute best captions ever: “who else is excited for ‘Teens Go Camping and Nothing Goes Wrong Simulator 2022’?” BAHAHAHAHAH
    6. Updates and announcements–mostly for the sake of marketing
      1. The first is the announcement that the game has “gone gold” (I wish I knew what this meant, sorry fam…gamer fail)
      2. The second is a clip showing what the “horror history filter pack” does (do you wanna make the whole thing look grainy and fuzzy like a horror film from the 80’s?? GUESS WHAT genuinely a fun and cool idea, and adds to the whole idea of the game being a love letter to the horror genre)
  2. TIKTOK
  3. (some of the posts are the same as what is on Instagram, so I will only list the different uploads)
    1. Character vids–videos that seem to be from the pov of the character themselves, but with some sort of ominous twist included…because of course
      1. Kaitlyn’s is framed as “top 5 camp counselor goals” and seems harmless at first until it cuts to “late-night sneak outs” and shows her and I think Dylan walking through the woods, probably covered in blood, and oh yeah Kaitlyn has a gun. #justsummercampthings
      2. Jacob’s is framed as “my morning routine as a camp counselor” and it goes back and forth between normal things and jokes about saving kids from various things: drowning, missing breakfast…and from the ominous cut to when Jacob is swung upside down in a trap. They do love that shot, don’t they?
      3. Ryan’s is framed as more of a self-deprecating video about how weird he is (remember: hE’s a WeiRdo someone get him a Jughead hat), making fun of stuff he does that actually is “weird” before it cuts to footage of him looking scared of something off-screen. Worth noting here is that Ryan canonically listens to paranormal podcasts–mayhaps he listens to Bizarre Yet Bonafide, setting the podcast I will talk about momentarily as a truly in-universe podcast? WE LOVE THIS TRANSMEDIA APPROACH.
      4. Laura’s video is framed as “my roadtrip pet peeves” and it’s all good and fun until it cuts to the scene where Max drives off the road.
      5. Dylan’s video is framed as “here are some really terrible jokes I will be telling at camp” and he’s not kidding–they’re bad. Worth noting is the “did you hear about the kidnapping in the woods?” joke because that’s when it cuts to ominous footage of Dylan and Ryan in the woods and Dylan screaming before we get the punch line of “they woke up.” Hahaha. Ha. Ha…
      6. Emma’s video is framed as her talking about what she’ll be doing for her last year as a counselor at the camp, and as per usual, it’s all very harmless…until she jokes about “breaking some hearts” and it cuts to her and possible Jacob in the woods while she screams “RUN!!” don’t play with my jock boy Jacob like that Emma 😡
      7. Max’s video is framed as a very cute romantic video about all the ways Laura makes him feel and it’s super cute until it shows that footage from the Prologue of Laura trying to drag him up the stairs before he gets nabbed away again. Because teenage couples can never be happy in these things!! We know this!!!
        1. Once again, we are missing videos for Abigail and Nick (and other non-counselors?)
    2. Miscellaneous–extra videos, some seem to be in-universe, some not
      1. The first one is very similar to the Instagram “do you see it?” video, except it features a real human at the beginning who says “HEY WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY” It then cuts to shaky cam footage of the forest…but no dead body. Probably. The Human comes back to say “yeah I didn’t see it either and that’s the POINT.” This ties into the podcast! This does seem to contradict the newspaper article from Instagram, however, because the human here says the boy who found the body was a camp counselor and not one of six teenagers trespassing near the camp. Hmmm…Human then goes on to talk about the podcast and how it talks about the folklore of Hackett’s Quarry–mayhaps related to whatever happened to the Harum Scarum show?
      2. There are a couple “joke” videos that seem to play on TikTok trends as fun marketing–one is pointing out QTE’s in the game so Laura doesn’t smack her head on a branch, and one is Dylan and Ryan joking about Ryan’s perhaps questionable music taste. ~Character building~There’s another one featuring Emma, which jokes about how they spent weeks “babysitting kids in the middle of nowhere” and they’re ready to go home, but now the van won’t start (clip of Emma screaming). So did they all come in one van?? Awww, roadtrip buddies!!

Again, it’s unclear how much of this is key for us learning hints about the game and how much is simply for marketing, but still! Fun stuff and I love the variety of content we’re getting!

Click the image above to check out the podcast!

THE PODCAST

I AM SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS

okay SO.

As much as this game has wormed its way into my brain (in a good way) since the trailer dropped, I’ve been not so great at keeping up with all the updates? That is until I checked out the website again the other day and went “??? PODCAST????”

At first, I assumed it would be some sort of “behind-the-scenes” kinda deal with interviews with devs and actors and the like, or maybe even an in-universe sort of thing where it’s the game characters talking about camp goings-on, but it is neither!!

“Bizarre Yet Bonafide” does seem to be an in-universe podcast, but our two narrators are not in-game characters (that we know of…). Grace and Anton are your determined (or, maybe less-than-determined in Anton’s case) hosts, intent on proving the presence of the paranormal up near Hackett’s Quarry…or not.

The overall vibe of the podcast is hilarious–having one host be such a believer and one be such a cynic is perfect, and reminds me of the good old days on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Their back-and-forth banter is immaculate, and I hope it’s a preview of what’s to come from the game itself. Like yeah, sure, it’s a horror game, but a lot of the behind-the-scenes interviews features the devs talking about the humor?? So I hope we can expect more of that!

So far, 3 of 6 episodes have released, and while each episode does talk about something different, the overarching storyline involves that “found body found missing” from the newspaper article on Instagram. I’m beyond curious how this mystery will tie in with the game itself.

  1. Episode 1 introduces us to the general vibes of the show and our hosts, Grace and Anton. It’s unclear how they came to be the ones hosting this podcast seeing as Grace is beyond excited about this and Anton frequently makes it clear he’d rather be anywhere else talking about anything else. We are also introduced to the missing body story: Grace describes the incident and it’s a lot closer to the story presented in the newspaper article rather than the TikTok video (six teenagers find the body rather than one camp counselor, for example). Grace tries hinting that mayhaps the body was eaten by some sort of ~mysterious creature~ and that’s why there was no trace of it, but Anton tries to offer that maybe, just maybe, the kids were caught trespassing and they made up the story of the body as an excuse. Grace doesn’t buy it though, and she is determined to talk with the eyewitness kid about his story. Anton seems exhausted.
  2. Episode 2 starts with Grace reading the response she got from the kid who found the supposed body–he specifically describes a “sweet but in a bad way” smell and that he’s worried because if there’s something out there killing people, he does not want his girlfriend going to camp there. Uh-oh. The majority of the episode sees Grace and Anton discussing cryptids (primarily Bigfoot) and how likely it is (or not) that a cryptid is the bodysnatcher culprit. Hilarity ensues. One thing to note here is that Grace does mention wendigos (perhaps as a nod to Until Dawn) but the other character she goes into detail about is something called a “nix.” According to Grace, the nix likes to trick innocent youths into drowning because they’re lonely, and it’s most active on “Midsummer’s Night, Christmas Eve, and…Thursdays.” From what I could gather, there is a creature from folklore sometimes referred to as a nix (or nixie, or nøkk, depending on the region the myth comes from) and though descriptions vary, the nix is definitely usually a water spirit of some sort. Sometimes humanoid, sometimes horse-like, it depends. Whether or not the nix is friendly or malevolent also depends on the specific myth. Grace seems to be drawing her research from the Grimm version, as the creature is described as a sort of pied piper who enjoys drowning their victims once they follow their song. I couldn’t find anything about being active on Thursdays, but I mean…who’s to say? Let’s all avoid bodies of water once a week just to be safe, eh? I bring up the nix section specifically because one of the Instagram posts advertising the podcast features that same section–could a nix be just one of the monsters our counselors encounter? There’s definitely plenty of water around for them to get lured into…
  3. Episode 3 is WEIRD. And yes, I realize that I’m saying that about an already weird podcast but no really hear me out–IT’S WEIRD. Though everything begins simple enough with the usual banter we’re all used to, things get funky strange real quickly. Grace begins by describing how she looked into missing persons reports in that area, and she found someone she believes is our Jane Doe (aka the vanishing body): Grace tells the story of two seasoned hikers, Anne Radcliffe and Ed Benson who went…missing. That’s about all we know for sure. The article Grace discusses talks about how there actually isn’t any evidence to support them even being in the Hackett Woods to begin with (which really only fuels her fire that ghosts are involved somehow. Oh yeah, last time cryptids were the culprit, and this time? Ghosts). Grace remains convinced that Anne Radcliffe is the vanishing body, but she offers no explanation for where Ed Benson may have gone (at least not initially, later she claims that Anne ghost-teleported him to another dimension). Anton seems more on edge than usual this episode, making really dark comments about the bodies on Mount Everest and how it’s entirely possible that Ed killed Anne for life insurance reasons or something, and he claims that’s much more terrifying than any made-up monster. Anton is always the voice of reason, of course, but he’s usually not this dark with his comments–usually he’s a lot more open to whatever Grace has to offer, even if he clearly doesn’t believe it. I wonder what’s up? The episode briefly jumps back to the banter we remember, with Grace now convinced that ghosts are the culprit, and she promises to do more research before the next episode. Then, things get…real weird again. Usually the episode ends with some very typical ~spooky noises~ and some information about The Quarry and the likes. This episode..does none of that. Instead, we hear about 12ish seconds of…a jingle? For a cereal or something? A cheerful voice sings out “pop pop peanut butter butter pops, pop pop pop ’em in your mouth…POP” While this seems totally and completely random, and it absolutely is, it’s also worth noting that…we’ve actually heard this jingle before: in Kaitlyn’s second character video on Instagram where she’s described as “the cool kid” among other things. Before the ominous flash of the video, there’s a brief moment where Kaitlyn says “pop pop peanut butter butter pops.” I gotta be honest…I don’t know what this means or why it’s relevant, but there ya go! If anything, it may just be solidifying that the podcast takes place in-universe–maybe that jingle is the super catchy jingle everyone knows and sings, and maybe the idea is that they’re now a “sponsor” of Bizarre Yet Bonafide (ya know, like how your true crime podcast sometimes gets interrupted by a Blue Apron ad? Yeah, like that). Maybe all it means is that this game is going to be full of ridiculously dorky characters and honestly? I’m on board with that.

There are three more episodes airing for sure, but we don’t know exactly when. We do know the titles of the upcoming episodes:

Episode 4 is called “Hangry for Revenge,” which is where I’m assuming Grace may go into cannibalism-related myths and cryptids. I’m sure Anton is very excited about that (also, here’s hoping he brings up the Donner Party since he’s been Mr. Debbie Downer lately anyway, it would be perfect.)

Episode 5 is called “No Hoax Without Fire” and…I honestly don’t know what this could be about. I’m sure there are fire-related myths and cryptids out there, but I’m personally drawing a blank right now. Unless they discuss forest fires for some reason? Mayhaps that is what happened to the Harum Scarum show? HMMMM…

Episode 6 is called “The Hag of Hackett’s Quarry” which is where I’m hoping they’ll really dive into the folklore they’ve created for the story itself. It would be a great tie-in to the game, especially since we know Ryan tells ghost stories and listens to paranormal podcasts. Maybe he talks about the Hag because he heard about it on Bizarre Yet Bonafide?? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

All in all, the podcast is delightful and it’s such a fun transmedia approach that I’m having an absolute blast. It’s a fun way to expand the universe, but the podcast stands just fine on its own as a quirky lil…thing! I can’t wait for the remaining episodes (which I will be covering here of course) and I’m excited to see how the vanishing body ties into the game…

While I don’t necessarily think the podcast has given anything away as far as the game goes, it does seem to be fitting into the general marketing theme of “are monsters or humans more scary? Can humans become something monstrous? And what does it take to write a catchy jingle that gets stuck in everyone’s heads??”

ANYTHING ELSE?

As of right now, we don’t have much else to go on. In a recent interview, the game director estimated a typical playthrough of The Quarry would be about 10 hours, which does make it slightly longer than Until Dawn, but not by much. The team is quick to point out that it also depends on the player, as some choices may make the playthrough shorter or even longer (depending on how quickly you get everyone killed?) and I’m sure some people…like me…will spend some time investigating the clues we come across (UNLIKE THE PLAYER IN THE GAMEPLAY TRAILER *COUGH COUGH*). Also, keep in mind that this game is supposed to have a whopping 186 different endings all dependent upon every single choice you make throughout the game–each character has like, 10-12 different death scenes. INSANE. So the replayability value should theoretically be extremely high.

(also–okay but how many alive scenes does each character have, huh?…please)

You BET I’ll be overanalyzing every update we get–with a little over a month to go, there is still so much to be learned!

And hopefully this will tide my funky horror side over until Nope comes out in July.

Next on the agenda (at least until we get another The Quarry update) is a masterlist of sorts for game recommendations based on length and, honestly, my personal taste. Basically, what I wish the Nintendo store would give us for game recommendations. “Hey we saw you replayed this game an ungodly amount of times, so we figured this other very similar game may interest you!”

What do you mean “why do you start and replay games constantly without finishing them” leave me alone.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark REVIEW

Guillermo del Toro and Jordan Peele own my soul and tbh, I’m completely fine with that.

So now that it’s November and almost Thanksgiving, it’s time to finally talk about spooky things!!

So…a while ago, idk, I took myself to the movies (because all my friends are WIMPS jk I love them) and saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

Like many others, I have fond, fond sleepover memories of staying up late to read from the classic books and then not sleeping at all because…well, yeah. Those drawings alone were nightmare fuel for WEEKS.

So I was already excited when the trailer first dropped for this movie, but then I learned that Guillermo del Toro was involved??? And all of the monsters were being done with practical effects and costumes and makeup and very little CG???? Ahhhhhhhh??????????

So I was like, mildly excited I guess.

I actually did some research before going to see this, mostly to watch how the actors were fitted into their monster costumes so I wasn’t completely horrified when I saw it in the theatre. I was still mildly horrified, but it helped to know that there was a contortionist in there somewhere instead of just an actual monster. I think.

THE PLOT

It’s Halloween in a small town, which means all the best and worst stuff happens. We follow a ragtag group of misfit kids–Stella, Ramón, Auggie, and Chuck (eventually joined by Chuck’s older sister Ruth) as they prank local jerk boy Tommy and manage to escape, hiding out in a haunted house, of course. The legend of the house surrounds a girl named Sarah Bellows, who apparently wrote scary stories in blood in order to punish those who wronged her or made fun of her or were basically just rude (and then the stories became REEEEEAAAAAAL).

Naturally, because Stella is an aspiring writer and lover of scary stories, she takes Sarah’s legendary book with her when they leave the house. It’s all fine and dandy until Stella notices that new stories are appearing…and they’re about people she knows.

What follows is a race against time as Stella works to solve the mystery of what was really going on with Sarah Bellows and her family before Sarah steals everyone Stella loves and turns them into nothing more than various scary stories to tell in the dark.

THE REVIEW

I can very happily and very seriously say that I genuinely loved this movie. It felt like all my favorite parts of Stranger Things, IT, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Goosebumps, Until Dawn, and The Final Girls combined. There’s just something about kids banding together to work out why creepy things are happening and to hopefully save everyone they can. I think it’s one reason why I like YA dystopian novels so much–nothing proves quite so well how powerful young people are than showing them facing off against the impossible and winning.

I’ve seen some mixed reviews for this film, and I get it. I think if you’re unfamiliar with the source material books, you don’t have quite the same experience watching it. I mean the first time they showed the scarecrow? I instantly knew how many people in the theater had read the books because of that reaction alone. That’s the first monster we see, and it’s literally like they ripped him right off the page and stuck him on the screen.

It’s absolutely horrifying and completely amazing.

I’ve also seen some complaints about the ending (we’ll get to that) and the political commentary (we’ll get to that as well). All valid points, I understand, but also like…y’all did you SEE the Pale Lady??? How can you complain about anything ever again after seeing her????? She’s precious????????

But I digress.

I loved this movie. I really did. So what about it specifically made me enjoy it so much?

(I also introduced the idea in my The Lion King 2019 REVIEW that a good category for some movies is simply “a damn good time” and I think I’d also argue that this one falls in that category as well–I think there’s a little more to be said for this one, and I think you can pull much more from it, but I also understand why someone wouldn’t necessarily be wild about it. I don’t get it personally, but I understand)

THE CHARACTERS

All of these kids are precious beans and I love them with all my heart. Protect them!!!

Stella is a delightful protagonist. Can we talk about how she wears glasses?? And how she wears glasses the entire time??? She’s a romantic interest and a leading lady with GLASSES????? And the detail in the final confrontation where she lost her glasses and we saw how everything was frustratingly blurry through her eyes and you had no idea where or what the ghost was because of that???????? AHHHHHHHHH?????

I started to write a separate blurb for each of the kids and realized I was just saying the same thing. Ramón? Precious bean. Protect him. Auggie? Precious bean. Protect him. Chuck? Precious bean. Protect him. Ruth? Precious bean. Protect her.

That’s not to say that I don’t feel like each of the kids wasn’t a good separate character. They each clearly had their things–Auggie is a tall bean who was initially more of a scaredy-cat (also, he should really stop eating toes), Chuck was more of a prankster before his initial haunted house encounter and then I just…protect him, Ruth was a little more obsessed with being the popular, cool girl (but then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked–I MEAN when her brother disappeared) and Ramón….IS PRECIOUS AND AMAZING AND SO STRONG FOR A KID AND PLEASE DON’T MAKE HIM GO TO VIETNAM, PLEASE.

…I’m fine. This is fine.

The other characters I generally enjoyed as well. We’ll get more into Sarah Bellows when we discuss that horrific haunted house scene with Stella, but I generally felt like I liked and cared for all of the characters, and I wanted them to be okay.

Except for Tommy. I mean maybe he didn’t deserve getting all scarecrowed, but he was the worst.

THE MUSIC

The MUSIC. FAIR TOWNSPEOPLE, THE MUSIC.

The full score album is finally showing up on Spotify, and it looks like everything was composed by Marco Beltrami and Anna Drubich, and it’s AMAZING.

There’s a delightfully eerie music box theme that plays primarily where Sarah Bellows herself is concerned, and it’s GREAT. The first track in the soundtrack plays a lot of that theme, and then it transforms into this whimsical extravaganza that reminds me a lot of something Danny Elfman would write.

Of course, the music also involves some non-score songs, most notably two different versions of “Season of the Witch” which is FANTASTIC.

I mean…not to be that person that just says over and over that it’s GREAT but like…genuinely…it’s so good, y’all. Please look it up and enjoy it for yourself. Listen to it while you read the rest of this review!

THE MONSTERS

BRUH. THE MONSTERS.

Like I mentioned earlier, I watch a little “behind-the-scenes” clip that showed the various actors getting into costume for the monsters, so I was semi-prepared, but WOW. Seeing them on the big screen? Delightful. Horrifying, but delightful.

I think part of it was just my prior experiences with the books, but oh wow, I felt like a kid again watching those monsters come to life. So much love and attention went into each and every creature, and the setting that surrounded them, and the story they came from, it was almost like a different episode of a show when each monster arrived because the tone would change so much.

Each monster was delightfully unique even in the ways they moved (part of which I’m sure was just the costumes, but oh wow did it really add to things). I just…like I can’t even pick a favorite because they were all so delightful in different ways.

…okay, delightful may be a weird way to describe them, but the work that went into them just…AHHHHHH.

Anyway. In my opinion, the monsters were incredible. In some ways I feel like Sarah Bellows herself was the least scary monster–which I actually think is appropriate, considering her backstory.

Speaking of…

THE REAL MONSTERS

Just like our favorite cartoon involving a bunch of kids solving mysteries and a talking dog, the real monster was the awful side of humanity all along. Whether it was Sarah’s absolutely horrendous family, Resident Mean Kid Tommy and his goon gang, or just the charming reality that was the Vietnam War and the draft, the scariest and saddest parts of the film were the actions taken by the human characters. Sure, the toeless corpse dragged Auggie into the void under his bed. And yeah, the Pale Lady hugged Chuck into…oblivion, and sure, Tommy got turned into a scarecrow.

But you go into it knowing all of that is fake. You know they’re just what the title announces–scary stories to tell in the dark. But the Vietnam War? That was real. The racism that fuels Tommy and his friends to bully Ramón and anyone who interacts with him? That is real. Even Sarah Bellows, a fictional character, was inspired by true stories of her time, and we’re forced to experience it as if it was real because we see her story through Stella’s eyes.

Stella is a character we have been with from the very beginning of the film, so we are, in essence, forced to relate to her and feel for her. Sure, she makes a really, really poor choice by taking the haunted book in the first place. She spends the rest of the film desperately trying to make up for it, and every time she loses someone, we feel that, too. We want her to make it out if only because by the end, she’s lost almost everything. So when she gets transported to an alternate reality where she has to experience life as Sarah Bellows, we feel it that much more. The way she gets treated as Sarah is jarring because we know it’s a real experience for some kids–getting dragged off screaming, her hair pulled out as she’s ripped away from safety, tossed into a cold, dark room to rot…and all because she wanted to tell the horrible truth of what her family was really doing to get their money.

I think it’s important to note another crucial difference between the supernatural monsters like the Jangly Man and the Pale Lady and the human ones:

It is heavily implied that the supernatural monsters do not kill anyone. As noted at the end of the film, Stella is going on a quest to find Auggie and Chuck and bring them back because they’re still out there somewhere. They’re alive, despite their direct contact with the various beasts. “But what about Tommy?” I hear your skeptical brain saying, “doesn’t he get turned into a scarecrow?” Yep. He sure does. And you could definitely make the argument that if he is dead, he kinda deserves it because wow, what a horrible person. But really, we don’t know if he’s alive or dead. He looks just like the scarecrow who turned him. Maybe he is still alive. Maybe he isn’t. The film doesn’t explicitly say.

The human monsters, on the other hand? They do kill. Sarah’s horrendous family are directly responsible for her death. The Vietnam War? Yeah. That goes without saying.

I find it endlessly fascinating that the fates of the various boys throughout the film serve as a metaphor for what happened during the Vietnam War–children going missing all over the place, and sometimes, maybe it felt like nobody cared.

Perhaps the saddest thing that all this implies is that while Auggie, Chuck, and maybe even Tommy are somehow alive and well (okay, maybe not “well”), Ramón is the only character we see go off to war.

Despite facing the Jangly Man and winning, he still ends up going to war. And because of what we know of history, it’s safe to say that Ramón may be the only character actually in danger of dying. The Vietnam War wasn’t some supernatural beast you could write off in a magical book. Despite everything, and despite Stella’s best wishes and hopes, it’s likely he’ll die.

That’s the true horror of this scary movie. And maybe that’s why it’s received less-than-favorable reviews–it forces you to think about the violence you’re facing and maybe even enjoying onscreen by making you really think about a real-life horrific event. We don’t want to think about all that when we go see a scary movie, we just want to think about jumpscares and fake characters who won’t last and dorky monsters and so-so special effects! No reality for us, thanks!

It’s kind of sad, honestly. And it’s a shame that potential, true works of art like Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark are suffering for it because critics would rather rave about “Tony Stark’s incredible sacrifice, and why are all the feminists complaining again when there was an entire like 30 seconds of just the female superheroes onscreen doing absolutely nothing but damn did it look cool?” Or “this movie about a robot girl treated her like an object the entire time and then just proved its point about women even more by having her literally refuse to feel things ever again because oh god no her boyfriend died like seven times but wow was it pretty” *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

We don’t want to like movies, books, or any type of entertainment where we see ourselves reflected in the monsters. But it’s only when we do that that we’re able to grow and change and prevent senseless things like the Vietnam War from happening ever again. We can save Ramón–we just keep choosing not to.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Despite your personal problems with the film (which I’ve seen range from “it wasn’t scary enough!” To “they shouldn’t have tried so obviously to set it up for a sequel” to “I didn’t get it”), you have to admit that what was attempted was a beautiful, intricate, interwoven plot that tried to blur the lines between the fake monsters and the real ones. It tried to be more than just a typical scary movie full of jumpscares, fake effects, and a plot that makes no sense (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, PET SEMATARY). Now, maybe for you, it didn’t read quite right. Maybe it didn’t work. That’s totally fine and understandable, because it’s going to be a different experience for everyone. For me, it read really, really well. The parallels between today’s political environment and that of the time around the Vietnam War was jarring and impressive, and I appreciated them. Maybe you didn’t.

When I started this review, I was of the mindset of “yeah, I really loved it, but I can see how it wouldn’t be for everyone.” I’m still of that mindset, but it’s nevertheless frustrating when a movie you really enjoyed gets written off so easily. And maybe some people feel that way when I constantly make fun of Alita: Battle Angel. That’s fair.

I think what I would say is that if you’re someone who normally decides what to see based off what the mainstream critics say, maybe don’t this time. Now, if you know about yourself that you don’t like scary things? That’s something else. You do you, boo. But if this was one that maybe you were excited about and then the reviews came out and you kinda went “oh…never mind, I guess…” I would ask you to give it a chance. It’s lovely, in an eerie, creepy sort of way.

Overall, I give Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark…

4.5/5 HAUNTED STORYBOOKS WRITTEN IN BLOOD!!!

Because of COURSE they’re written in blood.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Will I ever be over Ramón and Stella fighting to get back to each other in the same house but trapped in different dimensions/times? No.

“OOF” MOMENT

Listen. That stupid pimple story that is actually spiders? The worst thing ever. The moment where she pulls on it and a gazillion spiders swarm out of her face? -27/10, do NOT recommend.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Have I already talked about IT: Chapter Two? If not, here it is: I won’t be seeing it. In concept I’m all about creepy shapeshifters and kids fighting them off with friendship or something, but hey how about that slaughter of gay people in the opening scene??? Yeah???? Yeah??????? No.

When the trailer for Knives Out first started, I genuinely thought they’d finally made a good movie of my favorite book. Alas, that was incorrect, but it looks cool nonetheless and I’m interested. Unless I missed it. Did I miss it? Probably.

Black and Blue looks absolutely fascinating. Not a relaxing outing to the movies by any means, but maybe a really important one.

Don’t Let Go looks like the kind of supernatural-ish thriller that will make me sob. There are GHOSTS. Or maybe it’s just time travel. Anyway, what a fascinating concept–I hope it’s good!!

That about does it for this review!! Please consider giving Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark a chance–it truly is a beautiful and rather poignant scary story (if you are worried about the scare factor, I would say if you like Stranger Things, you’ll definitely like this film–I’d rate them about the same on the Scare Scale. I don’t actually have a Scare Scale but it sounds cool).

Pet Sematary (2019) REVIEW

So…you know how sometimes, you get this idea, like “oh I know, I’ll treat myself to something that will allow me to see a lot of movies! I love movies! And hey, maybe I’ll start a movie blog, so I can nerd out about them!! YEAH!!!”

…and then you realize that means you have to see things like Pet Sematary.

Now, let’s reiterate: I am not a horror movie person. At all.

“But you said you saw Us three times!! That’s a horror movie!!” Yes. I did. And did it scar me? Ohhhhhh you BET. But I don’t consider Us a horror movie in the most traditional sense–it doesn’t throw things at the screen just for the sake of scaring you and that’s it. There’s so much more to it than just scares.

(If you’re curious, check out my in-depth review of Us right here)

Pet Sematary, on the other hand. Whew.

I know I didn’t technically have to see it, but if I’m gonna have a movie blog, I think I have to check out big things when I can. Maybe I won’t like it *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*, but I still think it’s important to see it and figure out why I feel the way I do about it.

Maybe that’s just an excuse for my 4-ness…

Probably.

Anyway, here’s the thing: this is not a nice, happy movie. This thing is dark. I’m gonna try to humor my way through it as much as possible because I’m pretty sure that’s the only way I’ll survive this, but keep that in mind.

Originally, I was gonna try to write a cheerier version of the review after the gruesome detailed one, but I don’t know if that’s even gonna work, y’all.

So just be warned. This isn’t a fun time in any way.

I mean…there are cats! Yayyyyyy!

THE PLOT

The movie, which should really be called “White People Mess With Native American Burial Ground, Get What’s Coming To Them,” begins with an aerial shot of a forest, and as we zoom across the land, we see a building on fire. As we zoom in some more, we see a large house, a car parked in front with an open door, and a trail of blood going across the front porch. No one is in sight.

The screen changes to white, and we catch up with the Creed family: husband Louis (Jason Clarke), wife Rachel (Amy Seimetz), daughter Ellie (Jeté Laurence), and son Gage (Hugo and Lucas Lavoie). They’re moving to the town of Ludlow, Maine from Boston to get a fresh start. They seem to be a really close family, and all seems well until they arrive at their new house. A large truck goes loudly speeding by, scaring everyone.

The next day, Louis is off for work at the university (?) as the on-campus doctor. Rachel, Ellie, and Gage are staying home. Ellie and Rachel notice a procession of kids in real creepy animal masks walk by, with what appears to be a dead dog in a wheelbarrow. Ellie is immediately intrigued, and wants to follow them, but she waits until Rachel is distracted with a phone call.

Ellie follows the trail through the woods and winds up at a “charming little landmark” (Rachel’s words): the infamous Pet Sematary. She walks around for a bit, investigating the different graves, until she comes across what almost looks like a dam of sorts. Determined, she starts to climb it, but is startled and therefore stopped by neighbor Jud Crandall (John Lithgow). Ellie is stung by a bee on her way down, and Jud helps her remove the stinger and put dirt on it (because that’s…how you fix things…that or Windex).

Meanwhile, Rachel is on the phone with her own mom, unpacking things while she talks. She comes across a photo of a girl, and although she reacts negatively to the photo, we don’t find out why until a little later. Noticing Ellie isn’t in the house anymore, she goes searching, coming across the Pet Sematary and Ellie and Jud within it. Rachel thinks Jud’s a little sketchy at first (and the Pet Sematary is real creepy), so she grabs Ellie and gets out (now her mistake here is not getting out of Ludlow altogether which is really what she should have done).

That night, Ellie tries to ask her parents some questions about death (“why don’t pets live as long as people?”), but Rachel and Louis are clearly on different pages about this particular topic and the whole conversation ends up being kind of a muddled mess.

Then, we cut to Halloween. Louis is getting ready to take Ellie and some of her friends trick-or-treating, when he sees Jud motioning for him across the drive. Louis goes to him, and Jud shows him what he found: Ellie’s beloved cat, Church, dead on the side of the road. In a rather Anna Karenina-esque twist, Church was hit and killed by one of the trucks that’s always speeding across the road. Louis immediately decides that Ellie cannot see this, so Jud tells him they’ll deal with it that night.

Louis tells Rachel what they found, and Rachel begs Louis not to tell Ellie that Church is dead, just that he ran away. Louis seems reluctant at first, but decides to go along with it. That night, Louis and Jud head out to the Pet Sematary. Just before Louis can start digging the grave, however, something seems to come over Jud, and he asks things like “Ellie really loved that cat, didn’t she?” And “you really love Ellie, don’t you?”

Like yes, Jud, we all loved everyone, you gonna help bury the cat or nah?

But instead, Jud takes Louis over the dam/stick wall thing that Ellie tried to climb earlier, up across a swamp, and on top of some mountain-y thing where he tells Louis to bury the cat and use some of the nearby rocks as a cairn. It’s especially dramatic looking with the lightning striking every now and then.

The next day, Louis and Rachel sit Ellie down to tell her that Church ran away. Ellie says “but he’s right here!” Which is just not what you ever want to hear about a dead cat. Louis goes to investigate, and sure enough, Church is inside Ellie’s closet, alive and well.

Well…alive, at least.

But Church is different. He’s angrier, nastier, bites and scratches everyone. He brings a dead bird onto Louis and Rachel’s bed and starts eating it. He’s all bedraggled and sticky.

Louis, fed up with this, drives Church up to the end of the road and leaves him there.

We cut to Ellie’s birthday party, which she’s having a hard time enjoying because she feels guilty about Church running away again. But just when all hope seems lost, she spots Church casually walking down the road. Naturally, she runs after him, just in time for another one of those giant trucks to ruin everything.

With Ellie gone, Louis now must decide what he wants to do. He knows of a great power in the woods, something that could give him more time with his daughter, but Jud warned him: they don’t come back the same.

THE REVIEW

So…yeah.

I mean, I really loved Us, right? So maybe I am a horror movie aficionado now!

Nope.

Now, there were moments during the film where I thought “hey that’s kind of interesting–where are they going with this?” Or “wow I actually kind of like this character, maybe they won’t–oh. And they’re dead. Well.”

But generally, as I left the theatre, I was just kinda…numb. I genuinely couldn’t decide how I felt about it. I mean I got home and turned on every light possible, I think, and I started writing this review, but I couldn’t do it. I had to let it sit for a couple of days while my brain calmed down and my heart stopped racing every time I heard a noise beCAUSE WHAT IF IT’S DEMON ELLIE AHHHHHHHHHHHH–

Here’s the thing: I generally don’t like dark, depressing endings. Generally. The exceptions normally come in cases where I feel the dark ending really served the plot, I got really attached to the characters, there’s some deeper, hidden meaning to take away, and/or I feel like the story would have suffered with a lighter ending. For example, in Us, the characters we followed were likable, there was absolutely a hidden meaning, and the twist was there to make us question everything and to make each re-watch different. I saw Cabaret for the first time this past weekend, and that is not a happy musical by any means. But there were great characters, a hidden meaning (especially in today’s world), and the dark ending serves to really make you think about your own actions. If Cabaret had a lighter ending, the entire show would have suffered for it because the point of the plot would have been lost. Odd Thomas is one of my absolute favorite books and the movie adaptation is great, and the ending is absolutely tragic. There is some hope attached to it, but largely, it kicks you in the gut. But again: the characters are great, the tragic ending served the plot and the character development really well, and I do think it wouldn’t be as powerful without what happens in the end.

Now I will also throw in that generally I can do darker endings if there’s some hope thrown in. Isn’t that the whole point of the escapism of media? Don’t we want to leave behind the tragedy of our own lives to live someone else’s for a while?

With movies like Pet Sematary, there is absolutely no hope at all. And that’s…kinda sucky.

I’m not saying there weren’t parts of it I enjoyed, and I’m not saying I didn’t find the overall plot kinda fascinating because I absolutely did; what I am saying is that the ending of a story is really important, and when you don’t give your audiences anything to grasp hold of and instead leave them with the feeling of pulling the rug out from under them and dropping them into a pit below…well, it feels kind of unfair. And I don’t think it did this to everyone; horror movie fans everywhere generally seemed to like the remake.

But the biggest plot twist of all was the major change to the ending of the source material, and I genuinely think the film really suffers for it.

Also it ends so abruptly that when the lights in the theater come back on, you don’t get a chance to come back to yourself beforehand. It doesn’t ease you out of its world at all, and maybe that’s intentional (to up the creep factor, I guess, although…really? Did you really need to? DID YOU WATCH YOUR OWN FILM??).

So let’s dig up the details of this gruesome flick and why I don’t think I’ll be a horror aficionado anytime soon–maybe just a Jordan Peele aficionado.

Major spoiler warning now in effect!!

THE MUSIC

I…really liked the music for this film.

While I definitely don’t watch a lot of horror movies, I do listen to a lot of movie music and can appreciate a good soundtrack. While there were certainly a lot of moments in this film that had the stereotypical “CACOPHONY OF STRINGED INSTRUMENTS MAKING SCARY NOISES!!” Moments, there was a lot to offer besides that.

For example, I have the soundtrack up on Spotify as I type this and it’s just…euhhh.

The first track, “Wendigo,” slowly builds to an absolute nightmare of a track. It plays a lot with certain instruments cutting in and out unnaturally, melodies that go back and forth in your headphones from one ear to another, and my favorite effect: a sound that could either be someone digging up a grave or someone walking unnaturally quickly through the dirt of a graveyard. If you knew nothing of the film it came from, you could still wager a guess based on the title and the track itself what it might mean and that’s amazing.

“The Maine Road” (GET IT BECAUSE IT’S A MAIN ROAD BUT IT TAKES PLACE IN MAINE??????) has a haunting little melody that probably sounds like a cheerful children’s tune in a major key, but as it is in a minor key…it just doesn’t sound right.

“Fielding Fine” is one of my favorite tracks because it’s beautiful–it could almost not be from a horror film, that’s how relaxed and pleasant-sounding it is. It sounds a little sad, maybe, but it’s just a pretty little tune that someone could dance to. I think this plays in the beginning when the family is driving to their new home, and everything, at least at that moment, is okay.

And of course, the final track (before the cover of the song “Pet Sematary” which was written for the original film) is morbidly named “Wasn’t the Beginning?” Because, as you’ll realize once you see the movie, the first shot of the film is actually the ending. Though there’s no text that explains “THREE DAYS EARLIER” or whatever, it all clicks into place once you reach the ending of the movie. The track itself is is a little less horror-movie typical, but it’s sad-sounding, and you feel it in your gut. The track sounds hopeless, like we couldn’t have changed the outcome even if we wanted to, and that sucks. It’s a good track, it’s just morbid what it represents. They even bring back the piano from “Fielding Fine” (though it’s not the exact same tune) just to make me go “well that’s just GREAT.”

Actually, “The Maine Road,” “Just Not the Same,” and “Wasn’t the Beginning?” All feature the same eerie melody in different ways. While “The Maine Road” introduces the tune, it’s purposely warped and messed up in “Just Not the Same” (it even ties into the title). In “Wasn’t the Beginning?” We get the same tune from “The Maine Road,” but it’s played on the piano–and the only other time we heard that instrument was in “Fielding Fine.” The music constantly plays with the tragedy of the story in this way, and it’s…I mean it’s great, but it’s also REAL sad.

Anyway, point being, I actually really, really like the music. It’s scary all on its own without being paired with a horror movie…and I genuinely think the music is better than the movie itself. But we’ll get into that.

THE CHARACTERS

THEY ALL SUCK.

They are the WORST. And I get it, it’s a horror movie, so don’t get attached to anyone anyway, right? If they’re all just gonna die, why make them likable?

But here’s the thing: the suspense was even higher in Us because the characters WERE likable. It was scarier because the thought of losing any of them was just as scary as what might kill them off to begin with.

I wanted to like the characters, I really did, but the movie doesn’t let you. And maybe that’s the point of it. If you know the original story, you know who does and doesn’t make it, so don’t bother getting attached to begin with.

I dunno. I think you can still make likable characters even if the audience knows their ultimate fate, but maybe that’s just me. Characters are an important part of the story for me, so I can’t help feeling like there was such a huge missed opportunity here.

But let’s go down the list, shall we?

Louis is…*sigh*.

In the opening car scene, he seems like he’ll be your typical goofy dad, but that image is quickly shattered. Louis is a doctor, and we learn that a big part of the reason the family moved to begin with is because Louis always worked the graveyard shift (which I guess is a reference to another Stephen King story called The Graveyard Shift) and never got to spend time with his family. You kind of get this impression from him, but you also get the impression that he does really love his family and he wants to do right by them–he just goes about it in the worst way possible.

As a doctor, Louis has a very detached view of death, and we can assume he’s seen a lot of it. But we see this view shaken when he’s unable to save the university student that gets hit by a car (really all I’m learning from this is that everyone in Maine needs to build some damn fences by the roads). He’s shaken by this, so even though he understands death and knows the science behind it, it still shakes him when it hits home, be it someone he’s unable to save or his own family.

He also seems to want to be the ideal dad, which means giving into his wife when she begs him not to tell Ellie about her cat being dead. He wants so desperately to be perfect that he naturally blames himself when Ellie dies. It’s this guilt that, combined with the power he now knows of in the woods, leads him to his absolute terrible decision to bring his daughter back to life.

Louis is frustrating because he’s just so, so stupid. I mean, he’s a doctor, a “man of science” or whatever, Mr. “dying is perfectly natural, Ellie”, so it’s so incredibly annoying when he turns his back on all of that to bring his daughter back despite knowing what bringing Church back did to both him and his family. Despite being presented as the character full of logic, he’s so quick to throw logic out the window once it gets personal.

And maybe that’s the point of his character, the idea that grief is such a powerful force it can make smart people do really, really dumb things, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch it. I mean, isn’t this what we all make fun of horror movies for? Someone hears a noise and they go investigate it despite us being like “NOOOOOO!!!”? Someone stays in a house that is clearly haunted instead of getting the eff out?? So why is it that Louis is presented as such a tragic character when he brought all of this on himself? He’s the reason the rest of his family doesn’t survive the film. If he’d just gone with Rachel and Gage when they’d left and stayed with the family he claimed he wanted to spend more time with in the first place, none of this would have happened. YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE.

Speaking of Rachel…..*sigh*.

The point of Rachel is that she’s just as bad at dealing with death as her husband is, and with their powers combined they are really just Parents of the Year.

Rachel’s backstory in a nutshell: when she was a kid, she had an older sister named Zelda. Zelda suffered from severe spinal meningitis, to the point where she almost didn’t look human anymore and she definitely couldn’t get out of bed. Now, you could have made some point about how Zelda’s illness was amplified in the eyes of a child, and maybe her appearance wasn’t as bad as Rachel believed, but she was a scared little girl (what was that movie about the kid whose dreams became real? Before I Wake? In that film, the big twist is that the evil villain all along was an amplified image of his mom who died from cancer, whom he called the “canker man.” That was a brilliantly tragic twist, but here, Zelda is reduced to jump scares and creepy CGI–all possible humanity is stripped from her for the sake of Rachel’s backstory. And jump scares). Despite Rachel’s fears, her parents leave her alone with Zelda one night and instruct her to feed her sister (Rachel’s parents also qualify as the Parents of the Year). Now, this twist is changed from the source material, where Zelda chokes to death and Rachel is too scared to do anything. In this version, however, Rachel is too scared to even go in her sister’s room, so she sends the food up a dumb waiter that she knows is broken. Zelda ends up falling down the dumb waiter and dying, with Rachel’s last image of her being all twisted and ew and it all being her fault.

So that’s why Rachel is kinda iffy about death. She even argues with Louis when he tries to explain death to Ellie, because she’d rather her kids be protected from it as long as possible. Again, I get that this is the point of Rachel’s character–I do. But she chooses to hide this backstory from Louis up until the plot says she can tell it. It’s this story and how traumatized Rachel is about it that convinces Louis to tell Ellie that Church ran away rather than the truth. Now, if my significant other suddenly spewed out a story like that, I would say “wow, I’m so sorry, and also I think it would benefit everyone if you went to therapy.” Not in a mean way, but just…that clearly broke Rachel as a person, and she never got over it because she was never helped to.

Also she drops her two-year-old son out a window to her husband who brought their dead daughter back to life so, again, PARENTS OF THE YEAR, FOLKS.

Rachel and Louis are so frustrating as a couple because they never deal with anything, ever. Rather than seek help for his grief and maybe chat with his new neighbor friend who also seems to have experienced tragedy, Louis drugs Jud and goes out into the woods to resurrect his daughter rather than deal with her death in a healthy way. Even though his daughter just died, he stays behind because of “work stuff” while his wife and their ALIVE AND WELL TWO-YEAR-OLD SON leave. And when said two-year-old son, Gage, starts having nightmares and talking about the dead university kid Louis talked about earlier, instead of, again, maybe seeking out help and like a child psychiatrist, Rachel says “clearly we both need to go back to the awful house where Gage almost died and Ellie definitely did, nothing can go wrong I bet.”

We’re not even gonna go into how Louis locks Gage in a car and tells him to “not open the door for anyone, even Ellie.” THAT KID IS TWO YEARS OLD, LOUIS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

And THEN, Louis has a perfectly good chance to take Gage and leave. He knows now that Ellie is beyond saving, his wife is now dead, too, but Gage is still alive. He can take Gage and they can GTFO. But no, he just LEAVES THE TWO-YEAR-OLD IN THE CAR BECAUSE HE HAS SOME HERO COMPLEX AND DECIDES SURELY I CAN TAKE ON MY ZOMBIE DAUGHTER WHO HAS BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE A CRAZY UNNATURAL AMOUNT OF STRENGTH AND A WHOLE LOT OF BLOODLUST.

Jud kind of teeters back and forth between likable and not, but as we all know, it’s also his fault this all happened, too. Since he was the one to first show the haunted, evil graveyard to Louis and have him bury the cat there, he is very much responsible (although, Louis, again, is the worst in this moment: they pick out a perfectly fine area in the actual Pet Sematary, and suddenly Jud is all weird and asking him creepy questions and guiding him through a swamp that has an unnatural amount of fog and telling him “you have to do this yourself, I can’t help you?” Like…Louis. My man. That is when you get the hell outta dodge, friend). Now, Jud is very much a victim in this story: somehow the evil graveyard spirit possesses him and he regrets it very much. Maybe he truly believed Church would come back different, that Ellie may come back different. But the point is, he still did a stupid thing and everyone else suffered for it.

Also–why is it that Zombie Ellie made a point of resurrecting both Louis and Rachel, but left Jud there to rot? If you want a zombie army, don’t you want all the people you can get? What’s that? It’s because the plot says so?

…fine.

Ellie is the only character I would consider likable (Gage is two, and therefore his only personality traits consist of “toddler” and “has the Shining but it’s pointless because he dies anyway,” so. Also he is the son of the Parents of the Year), which of course means she dies. Ellie, as a nine-year-old, has a morbid fascination with the Pet Sematary and with the subject of death in general. She’s confronted with it when she wanders into the cemetery, and while Jud is happy to explain the history and discuss the stories behind each of the personalized grave markers, Ellie has to be dragged away by her mom who refuses to confront death because NO ONE HELPED HER THROUGH HER TRAUMA, so now she won’t help her daughter through hers.

I do think that Ellie’s curiosity about death plays really well into her zombie self–she says things like “I’m dead, aren’t I?” In such a calm way. Then, however, she gets all murderous and stereotypically evil, so we can’t even have a sympathetic villain because PLOT, I GUESS.

Then of course, there’s Church. I do think the scene where Church watches Ellie killing Jud while purring is extra funny only because I have a cat, and we constantly joke that she’s actually extremely evil and responsible for anything bad that happens. We love her to death (HA, JOKES!) but she’s definitely evil.

Even the ghost guy who’s supposed to serve as some kind of warning I guess is really confusing, because even though he “warns” Louis that the “barrier mustn’t be broken,” he also appears to Gage and that is what sends Rachel and Gage back to Ludlow and therefore, back to their deaths. I just…worst warning omen ever, basically.

Also, wow you killed off the only person of color in the film and had them serve as the supernatural helper, what a new trope that’s never been used before…ever…

THE SEMATARY

Okay first of all, this overhead shot of the sign while Ellie walks inside wasn’t actually in the film itself, and it’s my favorite shot in the trailers. It’s super unsettling and really well-done, and it’s NOT EVEN IN THE MOVIE.

Anyway.

I have to discuss the actual plot device that serves as the namesake of the story: the Pet Sematary. I think my favorite scene of the film is when Ellie discovers it and then walks around it with Jud.

You can tell the set designer and set dressers had a blast with this particular set, and it sucks we only really got to appreciate it for one minor scene. Every grave marker is so personalized, you can tell they thought of the story behind both the pet and the child behind the marker’s design in detail. While it’s certainly eerie (it is a cemetery after all), it’s also incredibly sad.

I mean, the kids of the town created this place specifically because of that stupid road and how many pets it constantly cost them (BUILD SOME FENCES, GUYS, PLEASE).

There’s an air of mystery around the area, and why I think you could very easily do a whole series of short stories just focusing on each grave marker–who was the pet? Who was the child? Did any of them have to be killed more than once because they re-buried them in the cursed land behind the Pet Sematary, like Jud did?

The idea behind the Pet Sematary is my favorite story element, and it’s a shame it doesn’t actually play as a big a part in the film as you might believe.

Also–Jud explains that the Pet Sematary is part of the land that the Creed family now owns…so like, if it’s always been a part of that land, why is it still there? The townspeople apparently didn’t build it on public ground for some reason, so like…why? Unless the original owner was cool with it. But then that means whoever buys the house and the land has the right to just get rid of it and build a park or something (which will still be building something on cursed ground, so like…still not great, but nobody knows that except Jud, right?)

Ooh, I have an idea for Pet Sematary 2

THE WENDIGO

Alright kids, let’s talk about supernatural creatures/cryptids, shall we?

Because the movie only hints at the backstory and the existence of the Wendigo, it’s apparently supposed to be the evil entity in the woods that controls everything. But again, the movie doesn’t really explain…any of it.

So I tried to do some research on my own, because by the end of the film, the Wendigo was the only thing I was really fascinated by as I was trying to block everything else from my brain to save my sanity.

The Wendigo is a creature from Algonquin myth, and while some stories would have you believe that the creature was originally a hunter/explorer who became lost and then so starving and desperate he resorted to cannibalism, the actual point of the myth is believed to be a story that warns people against greed. The idea is that no matter how much (people) the Wendigo eats, he is never satisfied, so be content with what you have and don’t wish for more because it won’t end well–or, more specifically, craving things you don’t actually need will never satisfy you and only leave you hungry for more.

While it became clear to me how this myth tied into the tale (and quite nicely, too!), this connection is never explored in the actual story, and I think that’s a shame. I read an article about how Western audiences seem to be fascinated by the Wendigo, but for all the wrong reasons: the Wendigo is supposed to be a tragic, yet scary figure. He’s alone and always craving more and more, and is never satisfied. He’s a warning to not be like him, and yet Western stories that feature him tend to up the scare factor over the tragic factor, which…I mean leave it to white people, right? #whyarewelikethis

So just for fun and because I’m a nerd, let’s compare how the legend of the Wendigo has been used in various forms of Western media. And remember, the whole idea behind the Wendigo is that it’s supposed to be a warning against greed–not a horror movie creature.

Let’s start with the one that first introduced me to the Wendigo: an episode of Supernatural.

Supernatural, back when I still really liked it, had a really great “monster-of-the-week” formula, and for its second episode ever, it focused on the Wendigo. In the show, the Wendigo’s backstory is simple: it was a human, it resorted to cannibalism, and now it stalks the woods hunting for campers every 23 years (the 23 years bit is never explained, it just makes it more ~spooky~). Sam and Dean, our two brothers, help out a group of campers looking for some friends that recently went missing in the woods. Sam and Dean consult their father’s journal, back when that mattered (I’m not bitter, I swear), and discover that based off the evidence, the creature they’re now hunting must be a Wendigo. Another trait wendigos are said to possess is the ability to mimic human cries, and this is one way they lure their “prey.” (Maybe the creature in BirdBox is a form of Wendigo…?)

Anyway, wendigos can only be killed with fire, so they end up killing the beast with flare guns (all I can think of is how useless the flare gun was in Us…). Because it’s just the way the show was, the Wendigo was the monster of the week, and was only featured to be spooky, kill some characters, and then die. Now, there are some monsters on Supernatural that have a really sad backstory that the brothers have to get into, but the Wendigo doesn’t get that. He’s simply someone who resorted to cannibalism, and now is a monster.

So does the idea of the Wendigo being about greed tie in here? Not really. Again, the wendigo’s purpose is to be scary and spooky and then die. That’s it.

Now, let’s move to a more recent example: the video game Until Dawn.

Until Dawn is, I think, one of my favorite games (says the person who hasn’t actually played it, but because it’s so story-focused, watching someone else play it is super fun). It does such a great job of setting up a typical “oooh a bunch of idiot teenagers spend a weekend in a spooky house and there’s a masked killer!” Before taking that typical plot, flipping it on its head, and throwing wendigos at us instead! (Also, it has both Hayden Panettiere and my dear son Rami Malek in it, so…yeah)

While the wendigos represent something a little more tragic in Until Dawn than in Supernatural, it’s still not really the tragic point that it should be. The idea is that wendigos have roamed the mountains at this particular ski lodge that Josh’s family owns, I guess, for quite a while. And because it’s a horror game, the backstory given is a creepy abandoned hospital where Experiments Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong. So the wendigos have always been there, but how do they tie into the story of our teenage protagonists?

The year before the main story takes place, a real awful prank was played on one of Josh’s sisters, Hannah. She runs off into the woods crying, and the only one who will go after her is their other sister, Beth. No matter what you choose, Hannah and Beth end up falling off a cliff, presumably to their deaths. That’s why Josh wants everyone back at the lodge that next year: to celebrate his sisters’ lives, presumably.

Except Hannah didn’t immediately die. Beth was dead instantly, and Hannah buried her, but Hannah was trapped and got to the point where she was so incredibly desperate and hungry that she dug up her sister’s body and ate her to survive. This turns Hannah into a Wendigo.

Later in the game, depending on what you choose, Josh is also turned into a Wendigo (I think he gets turned by his own sister, too).

Okay, so that’s really sad, definitely…but does it have anything to do with greed?

Not really. I mean each character has something wrong with them, sure, but none of the characters who turn into wendigos suffered from greed, necessarily. Josh just wanted his “friends” to suffer for causing his sisters to die. Hannah just wanted to be alone after being humiliated by people she trusted (and by the guy she liked).

It’s super sad and really well done, but again, the wendigos are presented as Scary Creatures to be killed because they’re a threat, and that’s about it.

Now, while the Wendigo in Pet Sematary certainly makes sense (Louis was so greedy when it came to wanting to have more time with his family, he ended up killing all of them and now they’re all stuck being zombie family together forever), the connection isn’t explained in context of the film and that’s frustrating and, in my opinion, a huge missed opportunity. It’s presented as a family horror drama with a light sprinkling of supernatural that’s never actually explained, and I think if you’re gonna bother throwing a Wendigo reference in, you should bother explaining it and expanding on it. Again, maybe in Pet Sematary 2

So is there a Western piece of media that uses the Wendigo in a more proper way, tying into the original legend a bit more?

Team, let’s talk about Hannibal.

Hannibal is one of my favorite shows from recent years, even though I would absolutely have to take a break in between episodes to let my brain calm down. It’s beautifully shot, beautifully acted, and incredibly fascinating. It’s also incredibly dark, and therefore, not for everyone. But just like Us, there are an infinite number of theories about Hannibal because so much of it is symbolic.

On the surface level, it makes sense to have Wendigo symbolism in a show about the most famous fictional cannibal…ever, but the show gives us so much more than that. There’s so much to infer when the Wendigo comes onscreen (besides the fact that the Wendigo is revealed to be, of course, Hannibal himself). All of the characters in Hannibal are both incredibly likable and incredibly unlikable all at once. Hannibal himself is classy, lonely, put-together but also incredibly evil–his quiet demeanor makes him all the more frightening when we see him kill. Will Graham is just a mess, but he’s also lonely, confused, and brilliant. Both Hannibal and Will are greedy for what they find in each other. Hannibal thinks Will is fascinating, incredibly talented, and incredibly broken. He finds a mirror in Will that he didn’t think was possible. Likewise, Will finds a human in Hannibal he didn’t expect to since he’s actually the killer he’s been hunting this whole time. But they’re also greedy in what they do in everyday life. Hannibal is greedy for recognition and, of course, for killing (and eating). Will is greedy for recognition, too, but in a way that gets him respect so people stop thinking he’s crazy. It’s a beautiful character study of a story, and the Wendigo serves as an important symbol that isn’t shied away from or used for cheap scares.

I’m sure there are more, but these are the examples I’ve personally come across. My point is, the legend behind the Wendigo and the tragedy, the warning about greed, is a fascinating story point that I think could tie into horror stories really, really well, and it just…doesn’t. The Wendigo is used for The Scares, or to be a background character so we can focus more on the idiotic humans (they’re just…THEY LEAVE A TWO-YEAR-OLD IN A CAR).

Which brings us to…

THE STORY I WISHED WE’D GOTTEN

Imagine for me, if you will, a story where the Wendigo plays a bigger role. Instead of being reduced to background lore and a minor appearance in the shadows, he’s the Big Baddie…or is he?

I use this photo here because I guess, originally, the kids in the creepy animal masks were supposed to play a bigger role. They were supposed to know all about the creepy cursed graveyard, and they were supposed to be somewhat supernatural themselves. Maybe they were supposed to be zombies, too, and that would explain why Ellie wears the cat mask when she goes on her murderous rages.

Imagine a story where Ellie is lost because of tragic circumstance. Where Louis imagines doing the unthinkable, but then remembers his own words to his daughter about how “dying is perfectly natural,” and he can’t bring himself to do it. He goes to Jud’s that night not dead-set (haha, puns) on a decision, but instead broken and in need of comfort. He confesses what he thought about doing, but he says he couldn’t bring himself to because she wouldn’t be the same, right? Jud is able to comfort Louis and apologize for even showing him the graveyard to begin with, and the two find solace in their own grief.

The next day, still hurting but maybe a little better, Louis tells Rachel that there is something out there in the woods, and he feels like he owes it to Jud, to Ellie, to dear, evil Church to figure out what’s really happening. Maybe she’s confused and upset, initially, because why won’t he just be with his family? But then Gage has nightmares, both about ghosts and about the Wendigo. Rachel’s unnerved by this, but she decides that she should definitely be with Louis, and if he’s determined about his, maybe she should be, too.

The third act is changed from a murder spree into a hunt, as Louis, Jud, and Rachel team up with other townspeople to learn about the Wendigo and decide that if the cursed ground is too tempting, maybe there’s some way to get rid of it, and the Wendigo, for good.

But in the final confrontation between Louis and the Wendigo, he sees himself reflected there. Maybe the Wendigo, if it was a person originally, lost his family, too. In a Donner Party-esque twist, maybe the only way to save the rest of his family was to have them all eat the dead member, but once they find out what he did, they’re so torn apart and distraught they can’t cope anymore. Filled with grief but also, now, an insatiable hunger, he eats the rest of his family, too. This is a tragic creature who is never satisfied, and preys on the people who are just like him. He hunts for those who crave more time with the departed, rather than be thankful for the time they had. He encourages people to use the cursed ground because it is how his evil, and his pain, will spread.

Maybe Louis still, ultimately, has to kill the Wendigo. Or maybe Rachel does. Maybe when they do, Church dies all over again, now without an evil spirit fueling him. Maybe the kids with the masks, revealed to yes, have been zombies this whole time, serving the Wendigo, also die, for real this time. Their masks fall away, revealing the human children underneath, finally free from the torment of serving the evil spirit in the woods. Maybe the fog finally leaves the graveyard, the sun rises, and the dead swamp is suddenly filled with the sounds of birds, frogs, insects…life, real life, has returned to the area.

Louis, Rachel, and Gage move away from Ludlow. Jud stays because it’s the only home he’s ever known, and he feels he has a duty to the townspeople there. They reflect on the wendigo’s story, and it’s implied that they’re actually better off now for their experiences, however horrible they may be. They visit Ellie’s grave once more before they leave, and Louis places her stuffed cat toy on her grave. Maybe they buried Church, properly this time, beside her. Maybe as they walk away, Gage sees his sister and her cat standing there, watching them, finally at peace.

Louis is able to confront his grief and how death changes when it’s personal, but that it’s still natural. Rachel is able to confront her fear of death and maybe even overcome it, even in a small way. Jud is able to truly apologize for his actions and save someone, just like he always wanted to. Gage is never left alone in a car. Ellie still dies, which is the whole “realism” Stephen King apparently wanted with this tale, but she doesn’t have to suffer as an innocent and the victim of a freak accident.

I realize, of course, this is all a moot point, as the source material for the story is nothing like this. However, though the movie may share a name, characters, and a good portion of the original story, so much of what was crucial was changed that it’s basically an entirely different story now. So why not go in the positive direction?

Oh, right. Because that’s not “cool,” I guess.

THE ENDING

The ending for Pet Sematary is real dark.

There is no hope anywhere. As much as people want to claim it’s ambiguous because Gage’s death is not shown, it’s not. The beginning shot of the film showed Jud’s house on fire, which we see at the end, and it showed the Creed’s house with the blood trail from Rachel, leading away into the woods, and we see their car, the front door open. Unless some magic individual showed up, fought a bunch of zombies, and took Gage, or Gage suddenly developed superpowers and escaped his family, Gage is dead, too.

Absolutely everyone dies, and the implication is that no one can escape the pull of the evil graveyard. That’s it. Quite literally, life sucks and then you die (and then sometimes your deranged family brings you back to life as an evil zombie).

I don’t know who to blame for this sudden surge in absolutely dark and depressing endings in media, but I think I’ll blame Game of Thrones. Along with, like, maybe The Walking Dead. It may be subversive and interesting when you first see it, but then when every story does it? It’s not interesting or a plot twist, anymore. It’s just damn depressing.

Pet Sematary claims to be a story that focuses on death, how it’s inevitable, and how maybe it’s not the best idea to lie about it or “protect” people from “the truth.” I get that it’s one of those things that isn’t exactly a fun conversation, but it has to happen at some point, right? Pet Sematary is like the ultimate worst-case scenario, where a group of people who were never taught to handle death in a healthy way get power over it, and everything literally goes to hell.

In some ways, it is that.

But it’s also just really, really depressing.

In the alternate version of the story I came up with back there, all of those topics are still handled, but the audience is still given some hope. We see a family go through a terrible, horrible tragedy that we hope will never befall us but, unfortunately, it still might. They go through it and they come out stronger for it. Yeah, it sucks, and of course we’d all prefer that it never happened, but it’s not like it happened in vain. They learned from it, they moved on in a healthy way, and they confronted something that they weren’t good at dealing with at first.

My alternate version can still be plenty scary, of course, but it can also make the viewer think about what they saw and how it applies to them. As it is, Pet Sematary tells the viewer that no matter how much you may prepare for it, death can come when you least expect it, there’s nothing you can do, and if given the chance to have power over it, humans will take it and mess it up, no exceptions.

Which like…well, shit.

Now don’t get me wrong, Us still ended with a lot of bloodshed, and the revelation that the person we were cheering for was lying to us the entire time, and that’s pretty unfortunate. But we still had characters we liked who survived, who looked their supposed fate in the face and said “um, no” and don’t we all hope that we would be like that if faced with the same thing?

We watch and read dystopian stories not for the horrible state the world is in at the beginning, but for how our heroes will rise above it and win in the end. Our own world is so scary right now, why would we ever subject ourselves to the same thing in media?

But maybe that’s just me, because Pet Sematary has a lot of diehard (HAHA, PUNS) fans just the way it is. I may not understand it personally, but it’s all a matter of taste.

I still think, however, that creators need to learn that maybe, just maybe, we want heroes to win. We want to see ourselves in characters onscreen who get a happy ending, because maybe we feel like we’ll never get one in our world.

Apparently, Pet Sematary had three different endings that were shown to test audiences, each one darker than the last. Because the last one seemed to get the biggest reaction from audiences, that was the one they went with.

But I think creators are misinterpreting good writing that gets a reaction vs. unfair writing that gets a reaction. When we watch a tragic ending that actually serves the plot, leaves us all better for it, and is handled with care, they get a big reaction. But when a good character dies for a tragic ending in an unexpected, unfair way that is never explained, never fully dealt with, and all done for the sake of a plot twist, they get a big reaction, too. But it’s because we feel cheated, not because we feel fulfilled.

And maybe creators don’t actually care about that, but I think media creators need to realize that, despite Jud’s warnings, sometimes dead is not better. A big reaction isn’t good if it’s full of anger because something was tastelessly done, or done simply to get people talking about it. There’s a way for these characters to complete their arcs and be handled with care, rather than just be killed off for the sake of some scares and a really dark ending. I don’t know, I think we’ve all had enough of that.

(And yes, this is absolutely also serving as a callout post for the TV show The Magicians, who recently killed off a great character in the most tasteless way possible, all for the sake of a plot twist and “big reactions,” and I’m still real bitter about it)

I mean, at least with Funny Games, the creator out and out said it was as dark as it was to be a direct jab at the media for glorifying violence as entertainment. Pet Sematary is dark and violent just to scare people and just to get a big reaction without a deeper meaning or message explicitly stated. Kinda cheap, when you think about it.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Ughhhhhhh um…this is gonna be really weird, but I actually really like how Ellie’s death scene happens? I like how it’s implied that the evil spirit possessing Church made it so that Ellie would be lured out into the road, like it knew that Ellie’s death would lead to a whole lot more zombies later.

So Ellie gets lured out, but Gage gets lured out, too, and Louis is able to save his son…and not his daughter. It’s actually a lot more tragic this way, I think, and a lot more “realism” I guess, if that’s what you want. The sound also cuts out when the gas tank flies off the truck, so it’s completely silent and slow-motion as Louis stumbles over to the road, sees Rachel falling to her knees to crawl away and sob…and it’s silent as he cradles his daughter’s body.

It’s surprisingly emotional, and absolutely meaningless later because remember kids, you can bring anyone back as a zombie, so sadness doesn’t really mater. Yay!

Also, this doesn’t count as a moment, but I loved learning about all the cats that played Church and how they had specific makeup artists and such. I love it.

“OOF” MOMENT

Listen, I know the haunted evil burial ground is supposed to be all spooky and mystical, but ohhhhhh man when it was first introduced, it was sooooo over the top with its fog machine effects, thunderstorm effects, lightning everywhere…I mean, I felt like we should be in Dracula’s lair or something.

It just wasn’t that scary, just ridiculously over-the-top and kinda goofy.

But it’s okay, we got plenty of jump scares featuring Rachel’s dead sister to make up for it! Yayyyyyyy!!!

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Look, if you’re a big horror movie fan, I’m sure you’ll like it. I guess. I don’t know, I’m clearly not a great judge of horror movies. But I know generally the reception has been good, despite my own personal feelings about it.

One review I watched said he didn’t think it was gruesome or scary enough, so…I guess do with that what you will, I had a horrible time sleeping the night I saw it, but go off, I guess.

I guess what I’m saying is that if horror movies aren’t usually your thing, Pet Sematary will definitely not be your thing at all. There is nothing in it worth seeing outside of it being a horror film–every detail of it only serves to be scary, nothing more.

I guess the little girl is good at acting creepy, but it’s not such a phenomenal job that I’ll insist you see it for that.

For me, though there were some things I liked (the music! The potential! The cats!), it wasn’t enough to have me say I enjoyed the film as a whole, because I really didn’t. I just sat there wishing it was something it was never intended to be–it’s a scary story, and it’s not meant to be anything more.

So if you like that kind of thing, sure. Go see it.

If you don’t, you can skip this one.

As for me, I give Pet Sematary

1.5/5 GRAVESTONES OF THINGS LOST BECAUSE OF THIS MOVIE!!

I mean no offense if you liked it, I just…why?

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Nothing groundbreaking, especially since it was mostly horror films. At least now I can say I saw a typical horror film, I gave it a chance,…and I hated it. Yay!

Anyway, new trailers include: Midsommar, which is from the same person who directed Hereditary (if you missed that one like I did, it’s pretty much just as dark and hopeless as Pet Sematary, though I know people were absolutely raving about it. Again, go off, I guess). It looks insanely creepy and weird, so uh…yeah probably not.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is such a nostalgic thing for me…I remember countless sleepovers where, if we were allowed, we’d read the books and then, of course, never sleep. The movie looks absolutely horrifying, and honestly? Good. It’s like it took stories that were scary for the kids who read them, and then realized those kids are now adults, so now we have to make it just as scary as it was then. Will I be seeing it? Honestly yeah, probably. Will I regret it? Honestly yeah, probably. The pull of nostalgia, like the cursed burial ground, is strong. My own personal Wendigo!

Annabelle Comes Home IS A BIG, BIG NO. NOPE. MM-MM. NUH-UH. If you come across a creepy doll in a box that says “do not open under any circumstances” THEN YOU DON’T OPEN IT!!! YOU LEAVE!!!! YOU GTFO!!!!!! WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

Anyway, if Pet Sematary seems like something you’d like, then absolutely go for it. But if you were on the fence about it for whatever reason, I don’t think you need to see it for any reason.

But maybe like listen to the soundtrack, because that’s good.

Otherwise…don’t go exhuming people and re-burying them in cursed burial grounds. Just. Don’t do it.

No.

Us REVIEW

IT’S FINALLY HERE AND IT’S GREAT.

So by now, I’ve actually seen Us three times (one of which was with my good bro Jack, whom I told I would give a shoutout–so if you’re reading, hello! Aren’t you so glad we saw this movie LATE AT NIGHT??? Nah, he loves being my friend–I come with discount popcorn, after all). Jordan Peele’s highly anticipated follow-up to Get Out was well worth the hype, at least in my opinion.

Did it absolutely terrify me and fill me with regret since I was housesitting for a week alone after seeing it? You BETCHA.

To be fair, though, I thought by the third time it wouldn’t scare me as much. I know what’s gonna happen, right? I KNOW IT’S A MOVIE, RIGHT?

See, this is the fun thing about Jordan Peele movies: you discover something new every time you watch it.

I mean it’s fun until you’re alone in a big, dark house, just waiting to see a red jumpsuit-clad, scissor-wielding individual waiting for you upon glancing outside. That’s the worst.

But anyway, let’s get into specifics and splice apart the details of this film because there are a LOT of them.

THE PLOT

We begin with the ominous sound of waves crashing accompanied by text that describes the miles and miles of abandoned tunnels that snake underneath the entirety of the United States (if you’d been theorizing and obsessively combing the trailers for details like I had, your first reaction to this might be “NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CREEPY ABANDONED TUNNELS” and I think it’s a brilliant way to start out the film–you don’t know how it relates to anything yet, especially any of the footage you’ve seen, so it’s constantly in the back of your mind as you watch). According to the text onscreen, many of these tunnels have “no known purpose at all.”

So that’s comforting.

We then cut to a young girl (Madison Curry) watching TV in 1986. We see the ending of a news clip, followed by a rather unsettling commercial for Hands Across America. The TV then cuts to an ad for the Santa Cruz boardwalk, and suddenly, we’re right there! The young girl, Adelaide, is there with her parents celebrating her birthday. It’s established that her parents have a somewhat strained relationship, and it all comes to a head when the mom (Anna Diop) asks the dad (Yahya Abdul Mateen II) to watch his daughter, please, while she goes to the bathroom. The dad agrees, but he’s a little preoccupied with Whack-a-Mole at the moment. Adelaide wanders off to the shore, where a storm is both literally and figuratively brewing. She turns and sees the “Shaman’s Vision Quest” (a mirror maze, essentially) with the tagline “Find Yourself.”

Drawn inside just as the rain begins, she and her reflections wander around until suddenly, the power cuts out (because of COURSE IT DOES). Frightened, she hunts for the exit and begins whistling “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to calm her nerves. It’s all well and good until she hears someone else whistling, too. It’s not quite the same tune, and it doesn’t sound as sharp as her own whistling. She then bumps into what appears to be another reflection of herself, except it doesn’t turn around at the same time she does…

Flash forward to present day, where an older Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o) is heading on vacation with her husband Gabe (Duke Wilson) and their two kids, Zora (Shahadi Wright Joseph) and Jason (Evan Alex). They seem to be your typical goofy family, on vacation at their summer home. Gabe wants to go meet their family friends at the beach, but Adelaide is reluctant because, well, it’s the Santa Cruz boardwalk. She gives in after Gabe adorably guilt-trips her about it, and on the way, they pass by an ambulance loading someone inside who looks…a little worse for wear, to say the least.

Later at the beach, Jason wanders off, passing by the mirror maze from Adelaide’s childhood, now rebranded as the “Merlin’s Forest” with the same tagline as before. He bypasses it, however, noticing instead a strange figure standing on the beach–a man wearing a red jumpsuit, a tattered green coat, and some blood dripping from his fingers. Adelaide, noticing Jason’s absence and fearing the worst, goes into a panic calling for him.

Later that night back at the house, Adelaide opens up to Gabe about her childhood trauma involving the mirror maze, but Gabe doesn’t really know what to do with the story. Then, of course, the power goes out. Jason appears in the doorway, saying “there’s a family in our driveway” (THAT LINE IS ICONIC AND SO, SO FREAKY).

Turns out, there is a family in the driveway, standing altogether in red jumpsuits and holding hands. Gabe attempts to talk with them and ask them to leave, but Adelaide’s immediate response is to call the cops (who are 14 minutes away, because OF COURSE THEY ARE). Soon though, the other family invades the home and are in control of Adelaide’s family in no time.

They are, as Jason points out, “us.” But what do they want, and why are they here?

The rest of the movie is an impressive game of cat-and-mouse as the Wilson family defend themselves from their malicious doppelgängers, try to figure out what is going on, and why it’s all happening to begin with.

Oh also? There’s a devious plot twist at the end.

Because of COURSE THERE IS.

THE REVIEW

Listen. LISTEN.

Us is a phenomenal feat of storytelling. It just is.

It’s baffling to me that all the people I saw it with, ALL THREE TIMES, didn’t seem to feel the same way.

I get where everyone’s coming from, of course. Get Out is an amazing, must-see film. It’s impressive in every sense of the word, and in some ways, its success hurt Jordan Peele for any follow-up films he creates. Because Get Out was such a strong debut, every film he makes from here on in is going to be compared to it, and that’s just the way it is.

I think that’s why so many people’s support for Us fizzled out once they saw it. What can you do but expect another Get Out, and Us just…isn’t that at all.

I’ve been thinking it, but Matpat’s Film Theory channel on YouTube said it: Us is a great film, and while it’s just as symbolic and noteworthy as Get Out, it’s different–and that’s hard to swallow on a first viewing. When you see Get Out for the first time, you truly do not know what to expect. When you see Us the first time, you can’t help thinking about and expecting another Get Out.

But Us is very much its own thing, and in a really good way.

I get it’s not everyone’s thing. I’m not a horror aficionado in any way (despite my being drawn to the stories of the genre because of my Enneagram four-ness) and I sacrificed my sanity for this film THREE TIMES because I loved and appreciated all the thought and heart that went into Get Out, and I hoped that Us would be the same in that respect. AND IT IS.

I think the other thing that makes me love it so strongly is that it’s original, dammit. It’s not a sequel, it’s not a remake, it’s not a live-action version of something that used to be animated, it’s not based on a true story (…that we know of), and it’s not inspired by a book or some other source material of the like. It’s new, it’s fresh, it’s scary because it’s not based off of any lore that we can think of, you don’t know what’s going to happen going into it because it’s something we haven’t seen before. I imagine this is how people felt going into Friday the 13th the first time, or The Blair Witch Project. I think it’s why Crypt TV is so popular (and HORRIFYING, GOOD LORD). It seems like everything coming out of Hollywood is “based on,” or “inspired by,” or a “part two” (or three…or FOUR (looking at you, Pixar)).

Us is all its own, and it’s so, so nice. It was exhilarating when the lights finally dimmed and the logos began–all those months of waiting and theorizing finally coming to a head.

It does feel a little like the movie drops you off a cliff in the middle of nowhere with the twist, and I get that. It feels unfair, to some degree, because the movie doesn’t hold your hand and give a cut and dry explanation for everything like Get Out did. It’s disorienting. It’s frustrating.

And it means you have to see it again. Everything is different the second time around. Hell, it’s different the third time around (for my own sake and my sanity, I refuse Round 4 until it’s out to buy and I can convince other people to see it in a well-lit room during the day). It has you replaying every little moment, every bit of dialogue, every visual detail, searching for the clues you didn’t think to watch for the first time around.

I live for movies like this. It’s not just a good time out, a quick escape from real life, and then that’s it, back to the grind. You don’t get to turn your brain off for a couple hours because you need it to figure out what on EARTH is going on. Then you get to be full of regret afterwards when your brain betrays you at home and goes “hey what if your Tethered is right outside right now that would be crazy right hahahahaha”

But let’s get into specifics because, again, there is a LOT to go through and I’m sure I’ll miss only about a million things.

MAJOR spoiler warning from here on in!!! Trust me, you don’t want to have this spoiled for you before you get a chance to see this movie. Seriously. I actually promise it’s not as scary as the trailers made it seem. I mean it’s scary, but not horrifying. I haven’t seen Pet Sematary, but I’m assuming it’s not that. Or The Curse of La Llorona. You know what I mean–it doesn’t throw a million jump scares at you all at once. There are some, but it’s not the whole film.

ANYWAY. SPOILERS. YOU GET IT.

THE MUSIC

So I already discussed the soundtrack at length before the movie was out, and you can check that out here. It’s kind of funny looking back at that after having seen the movie, because I was only MOSTLY wrong about things!

The music is incredible. It’s so unsettling and nerve-wracking and always serves the film in a positive light. Again, I’ve discussed my favorite tracks already, but both “Run” and “Pas de deux” are still amazing to me and it was so fun when they started playing during the movie because I got to be like “HEY!!! HEYYYYY!! I KNOW THIS! :D”

There is one scene I absolutely have to cover when it comes to the music: the final fight between Adelaide and her Tethered, Red. The whole sequence is this crazy back and forth between Adelaide and Red battling it out in the present with flashes of the two of them performing ballet when they were teenagers, and the whole thing is underscored by, you guessed it, “Pas de deux.” It’s truly a cinematic feat, and it’s amazing to experience every time you watch the film.

By that scene, we’ve heard the iconic “I Got 5 On It” a couple times, so when the violins strike up the theme, it’s already familiar even if you didn’t know the song prior to watching the movie. However, it’s distorted–something familiar changed into something almost unrecognizable, not unlike the Tethered counterparts of the characters we met through the story.

Again. I could go on and on about the music forever, basically. We know this. It’s great. I love it. THERE’S MORE TO COVER.

THE CHARACTERS

As much as I love cinematic music, the thing that often really makes or breaks a film for me is the characters. If I don’t relate to them or even like them in any way, I’m just not going to get invested in the film at all *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

So again, yet another reason I love Jordan Peele’s work is because he creates such dynamic, lovable characters. You love and support the Wilson family and are cheering for them the whole time, HOPING one of them doesn’t die. And this is a horror movie! Isn’t that normally the goal, ticking off how many deaths there are?? I mean it’s scary when Gabe gets dragged out of the house and off-screen by Abraham for a number of reasons, partly because it’s just hard to watch, but also because we can no longer see him. We don’t know what’s happening to him, and that’s absolutely horrifying because he’s such a great character!

I think it’s why the ending twist felt like such a betrayal for people–you cheer for Adelaide and love her and want her to win this whole time…only to find out that SHE’S BEEN THE TETHERED VERSION THIS WHOLE TIME?? We just watched her kill the REAL ADELAIDE??? It’s uncomfortable because we genuinely don’t know how to handle this information.

I’ll go into how this ties into one of the possible messages of the film later…but I think it’s one of my favorite things about the film (one of…well, many).

Adelaide and Gabe clearly have a good relationship, and that’s refreshing to see. They tease each other, they laugh with each other, they can talk to each other, they just give off the appearance of such a good team (even when things start going off the rails a bit). They love their kids, and so do we. Zora could easily have been the typical “teenage girl who complains about everything like Wi-Fi and is only ever on her phone” but at her core, she’s more than that. She isn’t afraid to take charge and when Jason gets his magic trick right, she fist bumps him even though she poked fun of home for it earlier on. Jason himself is a little odd, everyone can see that, but it’s nice that when the twin girls complain about him to Zora, she just says that he has a hard time. Every family member supports all the others, and it’s why they’re such good characters to be with the whole film.

In contrast, the Tethered counterparts are eerie. They look like this family we’ve grown to know and love, but they don’t act like them at all. It’s hard to tell if Red feels anything for her so-called family besides indifference. She clearly resents them as much as she resents Adelaide; she describes being forced to marry Abraham though she didn’t love him, how Umbrae is a monster compared to the beautiful Zora, and how she had to cut Pluto out of her stomach herself while Adelaide had a c-section with Jason. As much as the Tethered are bound together by shared experience, they don’t feel the same familial connections that their counterparts do.

All of that builds up to another fascinating character trait of Adelaide’s: her mothering. She is an incredible mother to Jason and Zora, and it shows through the film. But she also mothers Umbrae and Pluto. When she comes across Umbrae’s twisted form in the woods after Zora knocks her off the road, it’s clear she isn’t going to survive. Despite that, Umbrae keeps reaching out for Adelaide like she might still try to hurt her, all while making these uncomfortable noises as she dies. Adelaide, watching this, stays with her and gently says “shh, shh…” Likewise, she tries to talk Pluto down from his goal of setting the new family car on fire since her family was still inside it and all. When Jason gets Pluto to walk back into his own flames, Adelaide cries for him. It’s interesting to watch, and it does mean, of course, that Red takes Adelaide’s son while she’s busy mourning for Red’s.

The Tyler family make up the other characters we spend time with, and they’re…well…they’re set up as being even more well-off than the Wilson’s, and boy do they show it. They have a better boat, a better car, a better house with a backup generator, Kitty got plastic surgery done to try and stay young, their obnoxious daughters do cartwheels everywhere (most realistic part of the movie right there)…

They’re great foils for the Wilson’s, and it’s so interesting to compare the two home invasion scenes. Gabe may not believe or understand Adelaide’s paranoia at first, but when he notices that something definitely IS off, he is on-board with calling the cops and locking things down, no question. In contrast, Josh doesn’t believe Kitty when she says something is outside, and he makes fun of her for it. They get offed incredibly quickly because they’re so accustomed to their cozy lifestyle where everything is fine…plus, let’s be real, as a well-off white family, they don’t have to be on edge about anything, really.

We don’t get much development for the Jeremiah 11:11 homeless guy (more on him later), but one moment I think is fascinating is at the end when he’s a part of the human chain that Adelaide sees, the camera captures him staring up at the sun and smiling.

The Tethered aren’t monsters, they just genuinely don’t know any better.

THE ART

*deep inhale*

It’s GREAT.

Okay but like really, though. My third time around, I spent a lot more time taking the movie in visually, focusing on the costumes and the like (the second time I was busy focusing on Adelaide’s dialogue because it’s entirely different once you know, and the first time I was busy screaming).

The film in general has a very red color palette (which makes sense, representing both the Tethered’s outfits of choice and all the…blood). The first scene on the boardwalk with young Adelaide has a lot of warm, bold colors, which makes the contrasting cool blues in the mirror maze once the power shuts off kind of startling. Then, all the scenes at the beach house and at the beach before the Tethered’s entrance are very creamy and gold-colored. That all changes, of course, once the Tethered arrive. Red is everywhere, both the color and the character!

People have already touched on the fact that Adelaide wears all white in the beginning, and then her outfit gets more and more red as the film goes on because of, well, blood. Initially, I thought that was supposed to be all symbolic of her becoming more and more of a monster like her Tethered, but that was before I knew about ~the twist~.

But Adelaide wearing all white at the start that gradually becomes more red is actually a fascinating detail for a number of reasons. When I took Costume Design in college, we learned all about color theory, or the idea that certain colors have a specific effect on the human brain and, therefore, human emotions. It’s why heroes are often clad in blue and villains in red–not only are they contrasting colors, but they also represent entirely different things emotionally. Blue has a calming effect on the brain, which is why doctor’s offices will often have blue walls or posters of the sky with clouds or something. Blue is trustworthy, like heroes should be. Red, on the other hand, is angry–we can’t help but think of blood when we see red, and since blood should generally remain inside our bodies, when we see it outside, it’s a little jarring and we just don’t like it. That’s just scratching the surface, of course, and each color can represent a myriad of things. Red can also represent passion and general heightened emotion, just as blue can also represent sadness and heartache. The effect a certain color has on the brain all depends on what other effects are taken in in combination with it.

The color white, generally, represents purity. We all know that Adelaide’s outfit through most of the film is white, but my third time watching it, I noticed that all of her outfits are white. She wears a white dress, she wears a white hat…”but isn’t her swimsuit yellow?” I hear you say.

Remember how I said the color palette in the beginning was all creamy and gold?

Adelaide fits into her surroundings visually, and not only that, all her outfits are white and flowy. She looks almost angelic in the beginning, so subconsciously, we trust her. Dressing her in white gives her the appearance of being pure, so not only do we subconsciously trust her, we also want to protect her. We want her to win and survive.

It’s kind of a cruel joke on the part of the costume design–the creators know that Adelaide isn’t actually Adelaide, but the audience doesn’t. By getting us to subconsciously trust her because of how she’s dressed, we fall all the harder when the twist is revealed.

Her outfit gradually becoming more and more red throughout the film serves as both proof of the final twist, and as a metaphor for what she did. When she took Adelaide/Red’s place in the beginning of the film and chained her to the bed in the tunnels, she unknowingly started the Tethered revolution that would come back to haunt her years later. It’s her own fault the red of the Tethered gradually takes over her pure, perfect world above ground. She started this.

Also, yeah, it serves as a visual reminder the second time you watch the movie that Adelaide isn’t who we believe her to be.

Also-did you catch how the first rabbit we see in the opening credits and the rabbit Jason is holding at the end are both white with red eyes?

THE VILLAIN

So who IS the villain in Us?

It’s…us.

Or is it them?

I DON’T KNOW ANYMORE.

Like I mentioned earlier, a lot of people felt betrayed by the final twist in Us because it was essentially revealed that the whole time when we thought we were cheering for the hero, WE WERE ACTUALLY CHEERING FOR THE VILLAIN.

Or were we?

This is one of the most fascinating dilemmas of the movie, and another thing that separates it so vehemently from Get Out. Whereas Get Out had a very, very clear set of villains, Us doesn’t have that. It tries to draw you in to this whole “us vs. them” dynamic, and the first time watching the film, you probably buy it. The Tethered are the villains. They are twisted, almost inhuman versions of our protagonists, therefore they’re easy to hate. They don’t talk or interact with each other the way our heroes do; Red is the only one who can speak, but her voice is so raspy and choked that it’s unsettling. There’s a scene where Abraham and Gabe are on the boat, and Abraham calls out to another Tethered on the shore. They have a quick back and forth that is all done with shouting and yelling, and no specific words are used. It’s almost animalistic the way they communicate with each other, and it makes it that much easier for us to cheer for Gabe’s victory. After all, we like and relate to Gabe! He makes terrible dad jokes!!

Then, out of nowhere (at least for ME, apparently everyone else I saw the movie with guessed the twist early, which WHATEVER), we’re told that the person we’ve been cheering for is one of them, and the person she left down in the tunnels is actually the real Adelaide-one of us (“one of us, ONE OF US”). It just doesn’t feel fair!! The villains won after all!

Did they though?

I mean, yes, we see a shot of the Tethered’s human chain at the end and it’s absolutely terrifying (and apparently much more successful than the real Hands Across America campaign, but more on that later!), and it does seem that “fake Adelaide” is driving her “family” off into oblivion. Oh also? Jason knows the truth, now, so who knows where that’s gonna go.

But here’s the thing: “fake” Adelaide is still really great. We can’t ignore the fact that she’s an incredible wife and mother, as well as a dedicated fighter. She became so human during her time above ground that she had everyone, including the audience, fooled. Maybe she was born into the world of the Tethered, but she learned how to develop relationships and care for others and herself once she left that world behind. By claiming that we were actually cheering for the villain the whole time, we’re completely defining Adelaide by where she comes from, and that is something we seriously need to stop doing as human beings.

But okay, if Adelaide isn’t the villain, Red and the other Tethered are clearly the villains right?

Ehhhhhhhhhhhh…

When you think about it, Red’s whole story is actually incredibly tragic. She was born into a life of privilege above ground, but because she wandered off one night, she’s trapped below surrounded by people she doesn’t know who can’t even talk and have to eat raw rabbit to sustain themselves. She’s still connected to Adelaide, so when Adelaide takes up ballet, so too does she. I think it’s this combination of her dancing and the fact that she can talk (sort of, the speculation is that her voice sounds the way it does because when Adelaide choked her in the mirror maze, she crushed her vocal chords, and they never recovered) that shows the Tethered that she’s different. Maybe she can save them. They didn’t even know that there might be something better out there, but Red’s clearly smart, seeing as how she organized the whole revolution thing. She’d be able to figure out everything about the cloning experiment from what was left behind, and since all she knew of Hands Across America was her shirt and that ad she saw, she’d use that to make her statement for her new people. She wants them to take the place of their counterparts because that’s what happened to her. She wants them to make a statement because she never got to. She wants them to have their time in the sun because she can just barely remember what it was like, and she misses it. She’s so close to being successful, but Adelaide is smart, too. When she’s dying in Adelaide’s arms, she starts to whistle “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” again, because that was what first connected them to begin with.

And Adelaide chokes her again, this time for good.

She was the leader of a rather successful revolution that she never fully got to enjoy because she was so caught up in taking personal revenge, and shouldn’t she have been? Her entire life was stolen from her, and she had to grow up with these people who looked like her parents but were just so off somehow, and she’d never hear them say that they loved her ever again.

The Tethered kill a lot of people in the film, that’s true.

But they don’t know any better. Like Red explains, the entire cloning project was scrapped because they were “able to duplicate the human body, but not the soul.” They’re like children wandering around in the tunnels, uneducated, and no one was around to teach them because they just got left down there. So when Red shows up and tells these stories of the world above and their evil counterparts who take everything for granted, they believe it. They’re angry. They want revenge.

It’s all they were taught to know.

The human soul detail is interesting, because that means, theoretically, that Adelaide shouldn’t have a soul, and Red should. But what makes a soul, exactly? Red’s actions throughout the film seem soulless, after all. Her family are her tools that she uses to dispose of Adelaide’s family without a second thought. She kidnaps Jason without sparing a moment for her own son, burning alive just a few feet away…Adelaide, meanwhile, should be without a soul, but she’s extremely protective and caring.

I would posit that there are no villains in Us, not really, but it depends how you define it. Is someone a villain for wanting revenge on someone who stole their entire life? Is someone a villain for stealing someone else’s life, but then creating and caring for a family and always putting there safety first? Is someone a villain for wanting to have a life in the sun and to eat anything besides raw rabbit?

While Us tries to sell an “us vs. them” dynamic that pulls you in and convinces you the first time you see the movie, it’s just disorienting every time after that because you know. She’s not really an “us,” because she’s a “them.” She behaves like “us,” but that doesn’t mean anything because she’s still one of “them,” right?

*shrug emoji*

THE MESSAGE

So what does this all mean, exactly?

Again, Get Out had a very clear message: white people SUCK. Uh, I mean, racism is BAD and also still VERY MUCH A THING AND THAT IS NOT GOOD. Also, white people SUCK.

(No really, we’re the worst)

Us doesn’t do that, and it’s frustrating! JUST TELL US WHAT IT MEANS, PEELE!!

But what’s cool about all the ambiguity is that it allows people to make their own theory about the movie that connects with them personally. It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure as a movie!

So is Us a commentary on the death of the American dream? Sure!

Is it about the dangers of cloning and science going too far (case in point: the in-home security device playing “Fuck Tha Police” instead of calling the police)? Absolutely!

Is it about the duality of man and the dangers of ignoring rather than embracing that? Yeah!

Is it just a good, original movie with some good scares, great characters, amazing acting, and an interesting story? Why, yes!

My personal favorite theories involve classism: how the Tethered represent the poorer classes, essentially invisible to the well-off but still an essential part of their lives, whether they know it or not; how society can’t function if we ignore the poorer classes because they’re important, too, and it’s dangerous in multiple ways for us to just brush that off; how it’s absolutely possible to take someone “uneducated” and teach them kindness, and how that’s really more important than anything else; how the “Merlin’s Forest” re-branding of the mirror maze still featured a totem pole outside and was probably just in response to growing complaints about the racist attraction and was a really poor attempt to fix that #America; how many of the weapons used to kill the Tethered in the film were typical symbols of the rich (a boat, a golf club, a fancy rock), and therefore is symbolic of how the rich constantly kill the poor with all their fancy “necessary” toys.

Did you notice how the first Tethered up was the guy who killed the homeless man in the beginning?

Did you notice how, though people were morbidly fascinated, we didn’t hear anything in the news about it and no one seemed overly concerned about the death of a homeless man?

The use of Hands Across America ties into this, as well. The more I read about it, the more connected to Us it appears to be. Hands Across America was nowhere near as successful as it claimed to be, giving to charities only $15 million when they promised $50 million. Get this–it was also specifically set up to raise money to fight homelessness.

It was also during the Reagan years, and he apparently talked about how the poor are poor because they choose to be, and they’re just not smart enough to get out of it.

Did the Tethered choose to be what they were?

Do the poor?

When Gabe asks the Tethered family who they are, Red says “we’re Americans.”

The poor are Americans. The rich and well-off are Americans. They shouldn’t be treated so differently.

The point is, while these theories really hit home with me personally, they’re not the only ones out there, and they’re not the only ones that make sense. This movie can mean a million things, and I love it for that.

FAVORITE MOMENT

I’ve talked at length about the “Pas de deux” scene, and I genuinely think it’s probably my favorite. Even reading about the creation of that scene was fascinating to me; every detail was considered, down to the incredible physical differences between not only adult Adelaide and Red, but the teenage dancers as well. While adult Adelaide is injured, she hobbles on and swings desperately to get a hit in because she’s fueled by emotion–teenage Adelaide is graceful and swathed in bright light as she twirls smoothly across the stage. Adult Red walks in angles, almost never bends at the waist, and moves sharply and upright in contrast to Adelaide’s limbs flying everywhere–teenage Red has to follow teenage Adelaide’s steps, but she’s down below in a hallway and doesn’t have enough room, so she gets slammed into the walls and floor a lot.

Honestly I think it’s worth the price of admission alone, because it’s such an assault on all your senses (in a good way).

But I also really love the final moment of Jason glaring at Adelaide because he knowwwwwwws.

Also, he has a pet rabbit at the end. He did say he wanted a dog, so I mean…

“OOF” MOMENT

Pretty much all of them involve Gabe. I mean, he dabs in the beginning. And when he tells Zora that the human chain is “some kinda fucked-up performance art” the LOOK she gives him. Absolutely savage.

It’s not really “oof” in a “oh that was awkward for a movie” way, it’s more “oof, what a DAD” kind of thing.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Well, if you couldn’t have guessed already, YES.

PLEASE DO.

Is it scary? Yes, it definitely is. But what I keep telling people is that I genuinely don’t think it’s as scary as the trailers would have you believe–the trailers made it seem like it would be “ALL JUMPSCARES/ALL HORROR, ALL THE TIME” and it really…wasn’t. And not in a bad way at all! It was just an interesting marketing choice, because it got people like me who do NOT like horror movies but liked Get Out and want more going “DAMMIT JORDAN” and I’m assuming it got real horror movie buffs going “…wait what.” (Again, I’m assuming. I have no horror aficionado friends, as evidenced by how long it took to convince people TO GO SEE THIS WITH ME)

If you read my Us soundtrack post (here!), you know I also went into Lupita Nyong’o’s “Horror Movie Homework” in preparation for working on Us. One of the movies I thought was an interesting choice was Funny Games, and while we may never know for sure why Jordan Peele had Nyong’o watch certain films and not others, it is interesting to note that the creator of Funny Games said specifically that the movie is a commentary on how violence is portrayed and glorified in the media. Could that be why Us was marketed as a typical horror film without a deeper meaning? Is there a commentary there?

Who knows. I don’t.

ANYWAY, the point is, Us is so much more than a horror movie, if that’s what you’re worried about. I genuinely think there is so much to enjoy about it, and so, so much to talk about afterwards. If you like stuff like that, you should see it!!

(I didn’t even get INTO all the rabbits, the symbolism of the underground classrooms, the symbolism of the names, the many appearances of the numbers 11:11, or the fact that the homeless man’s Tethered is named JEREMIAH AND THAT’S THE BOOK OF THE BIBLE THE VERSE ON HIS SIGN IS FROM. “JEREMIAH 11:11” I’M SO MAD ABOUT THIS THAT IS SUCH A COOL DETAIL AND I HAD TO DIG FOR IT)

All in all, I give Us

5/5 OMINOUS GOLDEN PAIRS OF SCISSORS!!

Ooh…yeah that last pair definitely did something to someone…oh no…

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

I have such mixed feelings about Pet Sematary, guys. On the one hand, I think it’s interesting, I know it’s classic, and I’m drawn to it because I’m SUCH A FOUR. But on the other hand, just because I loved Us, doesn’t mean I can suddenly handle horror movies. I am a Weak Being. But…like…UGHHHHH so anyway. I MIGHT see it. I don’t know.

Listen I got dragged to the second John Wick movie with the guy I was seeing at the time, and I regretted it almost as much as when I got dragged to Kong: Skull Island. Actually…I might regret John Wick more…anyway, John Wick Chapter 3 is a thing. I probably won’t be seeing it. Someone could pay me, though. I can definitely be bought.

Little is another one of those movies that COULD be surprisingly good, or just really…really bad and cringey. I’ll probably wait till I read some reviews or something.

Ma looks ABSOLUTELY horrifying and it somehow made Octavia Spencer legitimately terrifying and I do NOT trust any movie that does that. It’s interesting in that it looks like it’s completely original, which as we’ve discussed, I really appreciate, but…oh it looks horrifying. Oh no.

Booksmart looks like it could be good, but it’s also kind of in the category of Little where it could also just be really bad. I mean it’s certainly going to be raunchy, as we can attest from the trailer. But who knows what it’s actually about?

I’m genuinely nervous and excited for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood because like…I freely admit I love both Leonardo DiCaprio AND Brad Pitt and they’re working together on this?? Iconic. Amazing. But also like…Margot Robbie is gonna be playing Sharon Tate, y’all. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

And that does it for this review! If you think you’d be up for Us, I really think it’s incredible and you should definitely see it. I get that the ambiguity isn’t for everyone (although apparently some people are upset that the final twist was made clear, they would have preferred that to be ambiguous. Which like…okay so you complain that it’s too ambiguous right now, and if the final twist HADN’T been confirmed? MORE AMBIGUITY IS WHAT YOU WANT?? Whatever) and that the horror factor is not a favorite, believe me, I know, but it’s so much more than all that.

Plus I can’t even begin to describe how fun it is to see the film in a crowded theater. Some of my favorite reactions include “aw HELL NAW” in response to Jason’s “there’s a family in our driveway” line, and a whole chorus of “NO, NO NO NO NO NO” in response to the Tethered family breaking into the house on cue.

If you’re up for it, take yourself to the movies and see Us.

Just, ya know…watch yourself.

Splicing Up the Details of the “Us” Soundtrack (and Lupita’s horror movie homework)

So Jordan Peele’s new nightmare, Us, opens TONIGHT!

Well, it opens tonight for all us normal people. Many who attended SXSW got to see it on March 8, and while everyone who saw it seems to LOVE it, they’re being very tight-lipped about the details.

I appreciate this, honestly, because there’s nothing quite like going into a Jordan Peele movie blind (I’m so thankful no one spoiled Get Out for me). So while we don’t know many details right now, #keepitbetweenUS, what we do know is that all the secrecy means one thing: PLOT TWISTS. PLOT TWISTS EVERYWHERE.

The soundtrack for Us came out just under a week ago, and since we all know how I feel about movie soundtracks, I thought I’d spend some time splicing apart whatever we can from the soundtrack itself and the track titles. After that we’ll take a look at Lupita Nyong’o’s horror movie homework to see what else we can speculate about…

What we’ll do is go through the list, track by track, and just speculate! Also included will be a drawing interpretation by me of what I think may happen in the movie based off of the music and the name of the song.

So, without further ado…

TRACK 1: “Anthem”

The soundtrack starts with “Anthem,” which lets you know from the very beginning that, just as Jordan Peele himself tweeted, Us is a horror movie. This first song is just real unsettling. There’s some kind of chanting going on, with a whole lot of white noise-esque sounds underneath it. The chanting builds, and underneath it, it sounds like we have one drum and a bunch of stringed instruments providing the rhythm. I can’t even begin to speculate what might be happening onscreen during this, but it probably isn’t good. It ends with some kind of minor chord strummed out, and it’s just…wow it’s unnerving.

By the way, the soundtrack is composed by Michael Abels, who also composed the soundtrack for-you guessed it-Get Out. I drew Jordan Peele here because I’m sure he had some say in it, but the real musical mastermind behind all of this is Michael Abels.

TRACK 2: “Outernet”

The next track is a shorter piece, and while I wouldn’t say it’s “happier” by any means, it’s definitely calmer. Strings play underneath a slow piano tune and there is no chanting to be heard anywhere!

This I’m assuming is when our main family is introduced: Adelaide, Gabe, Zora, and Jason. The song does kind of seem to set up an “everything’s fine…or is it” mood.

TRACK 3: “Spider”

I have NO idea what could possibly happen during this number. I tried looking through the cast to see if maybe there’s a character named “Spider,” but there doesn’t seem to be. This could be about an actual spider, of course. Maybe it serves as some sort of foreshadowing, or maybe it’s the first of those “things lining up” that Adelaide mentions in one of the trailers.

Either way, the song starts out somewhat pleasant and calm, like “Outernet,” but it builds up into, you guessed it, real unsettling.

I mean I thought the creepy animal of choice for this movie was a bunny…

…is there a type of bunny called “spider bunny”? IS THIS TIED INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE???

TRACK 4: “Ballet Memory”

This track is interesting-besides “Anthem,” it feels like the first track that really comes right out of a horror film. It builds up even more intensely than any of the other tracks, with strings all playing at once in all different notes. You can tell SOMETHING not good happens…

In the trailers, we do see glimpses of what appears to be some sort of ballet recital. Initially I thought the girl in the clips was Zora, but the cast list shows that there’s a “Young Adelaide” and a “Teenage Adelaide.” Since it is titled “Ballet Memory,” it’s possible the girl in the ballet clips is actually Adelaide. Perhaps she saw Red, her Tethered, as a child AND a teen…

TRACK 5: “Beach Walk”

This HAS to be referencing the beautiful shot in the trailers that shows the family walking along the beach with their shadows stretched behind them.

This is an interesting track, because while it should theoretically be a happy walk-yay vacation and seeing family friends!-it’s just as unnerving as anything else. The music is really gonna help remind us that, yes, this is a horror movie.

Also, the chanting from “Anthem” comes back in this track for a brief moment before we have some fun rhythm section stuff and squeaky strings. I say “fun” because it kind of is, but mostly it’s just creepy.

TRACK 6: “First Man Standing”

This title, I’m assuming, is referencing the clip in the trailers of the creepy guy Jason runs into on the beach. You know, the one in the tattered jacket facing away from Jason with two bloody fingers. That one!

This track is shorter as well, and actually most of it is kind of calm like “Outernet,” and then there’s a sudden build-up to what I’m assuming is the moment when Jason sees the creepy guy. Is he a Tethered? He looks like he has the iconic red jumpsuit, although he also has the weird green coat over it, so who knows.

TRACK 7: “Back to the House”

This, I’m assuming, is going to be a lot of Adelaide flashing back to her childhood since she thought she lost Jason on the beach (like we saw in the trailers). It’s definitely another unsettling little track, and since we all know what happens once they’re in the house…DON’T GO BACK TO THE HOUSE!!!

TRACK 8: “Keep You Safe”

This has to reference the scene in the trailers where Adelaide is talking to Jason about sticking with her so he’ll be safe. So obviously, Adelaide has had experiences with the Tethered, she knows what it did to her as a child, so it’s fascinating that she’d even agree to come back to this childhood home of hers in the first place…

There’s an interesting section in this track where the strings play a real intense melody that directly contrasts the calm mood of the beginning of the track-is this when Jason first notices…the family in the driveway???

TRACK 9: “Don’t Feel Like Myself”

This could be talking about a number of things, but I’m assuming at one point we have to jump to Elizabeth Moss’s character and her…unfortunate experience. We do see her having a brief conversation in her house with her husband in one trailer, and then of course there’s the iconic shot of her crawling to the camera.

So while I’m assuming this track is going to be about Kitty Tyler, it’s interesting that the track is called what it is…do the Tethered have some sort of possession abilities? How many times do we say that we “don’t feel like ourselves?”

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

TRACK 10: “She Tried to Kill Me”

Based off of me thinking the previous track is about Kitty, I’m assuming then that the title of this track is referencing the moment where she’s crawling towards the camera…what if she gets into contact with Adelaide somehow and tells her that “she tried to kill me?”

If Adelaide is alerted that something is going on before their own Tethered’s show up, that would help explain why she seems to sort of know that something is wrong in the trailers after the “family in our driveway” line.

The other side of this is that this is actually another flashback of Adelaide’s-perhaps we get to see even more of her previous experiences with the Tethered.

Both this track and the previous are very similar-they’re not fast-paced by any means, but they’re eerie and suspenseful in a slow, creeping way. Again, you know something is wrong just by listening to it…if you played these tracks over footage of someone walking in a sunny garden, you’d be waiting for the ravenous zombie to jump out.

TRACK 11: “Boogieman’s Family”

This HAS to be this moment, when Jason says this and Gabe goes to investigate. We know the actual coming after them doesn’t start till the next track (based off the title).

I’m assuming based off this title that Jason called the bloody man on the beach the “Boogieman,” and so when he sees the other Tethered in the driveway, this is what he assumes-he has a family!

No chanting in this track, but there is some creepy choral “ooh-ing” alongside some unnerving string work. It’s just not a happy song, you guys.

TRACK 12: “Home Invasion”

Aaaaand the Tethered have joined the film!

This, of course, must be when the Tethered family breaks into the Wilson’s home. You can tell in the music EXACTLY when the actual invading starts…there’s a creepy, slow build-up before sudden strings and then everything is fast-paced and as unsettling as ever.

This is one of the longer songs on the soundtrack, which means this whole invasion scene is gonna be long and drawn-out and I JUST. That whole concept is absolutely my worst nightmare, why would you elongate it like this. Why.

Is it because it’s nightmare-inducing? Yeah. Yeah that’s it.

TRACK 13: “Once Upon a Time”

This is a little more difficult to figure out…we go from intense home-invasion music to slow, drawling strings and a title like that (also, the “ooh-ing” choir is back!)…I initially thought maybe this was Adelaide finally telling her family about her previous experiences with these things, but it’s odd that the Tethered would just let her talk for that long without like…killing all of them. If that is their goal! We don’t know!!

It’s also possible that maybe this is Red telling the story…maybe discussing the flashbacks we’ve already seen from her perspective.

Anyway. This is a real creepy track.

TRACK 14: “Run”

This is, without a doubt, my favorite song on the soundtrack. Up to this point, all the songs have kind of fit together, with their chanting and “ooh-ing” and long, drawn-out stringed instrument notes…but this song?

There’s a slow, menacing drum beat almost the whole way through, with short string notes played in between and all around but at different moments, and sometimes they make shrieking noises and sometimes they build-up without the drums and then silence…right before the drums kick back in.

There’s a brief section near the end that plays the melody the strings are plucking out with a piano, a moment where I’m assuming everyone thinks they’ve escaped and everything’s fine….BUT NOPE.

It’s still unsettling, of course, but what I think is really fascinating is that it’s called “Run.” It’s not a quick song at all-the constant drum beat does not sound like someone running, it sounds like someone marching. I’m assuming, of course, this means that the Wilson’s are running for their lives and all, but the fact that it’s not fast-paced music urging them on almost makes it scarier. It’s slow, it’s loud, it’s constant…it’s a little terrifying.

Compare it to “Escape the Subway” from the Spider-verse soundtrack-another song where the lead is running from the villain, but that song is fast-paced, it sounds like someone is definitely running!

This sounds like even if someone is running, they don’t actually have a chance.

TRACK 15: “Into the Water”

Since there’s a track later that actually mentions the boat in the title, it’s possible this isn’t referencing the boat at all. Still, I’m assuming this is some kind of attempted escape involving…the water.

Is water their weakness? IS THIS LIKE SIGNS ALL OVER AGAIN???

Probably not.

This track feels a lot more disjointed than some of the others-the music starts heading one direction before stopping abruptly and turning the complete other way with a new melody and new instruments. There’s a small section that’ll sound like running, then a sudden drum beat, then slow, constant, eerie strings…

I dunno, fam. I just wanna know how the pun boats will help the family.

TRACK 16: “Spark in the Closet”

I’m guessing this track is the one the plays during the scene we saw in the trailer of Jason and his Tethered, Pluto, in the closest together. With fire.

This is also the scene where Pluto takes his mask off and we see all his horrible burn scars on his face.

What is Pluto’s obsession with fire??? IS IT BECAUSE WATER IS THEIR WEAKNESS? PLUTO DID YOU NEVER PLAY POKÉMON?? FIRE IS WEAK TO WATER THAT DOESN’T HELP AT ALL!!! GET YOURSELF A BULBASAUR AND YOU’LL BE FINE

TRACK 17: “Escape to the Boat”

This is one of the only truly fast-paced and intense songs on the soundtrack, at least in the beginning. It slows down just as the instruments build, so WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT MEANS.

Based off the title, I’m assuming this is like, everyone makes a break for the boat. I’m also assuming this doesn’t work since we’re only about halfway through the soundtrack.

Also-the creepy chanting is back! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

TRACK 18: “Femme Fatale”

This is actually another one of my favorite tracks, I think.

Based off the title and what we see of Adelaide in the trailers, I’m assuming this is referencing her being a total badass.

It’s interesting, though, because the first half of the track sounds like it was ripped from a romance scene from a black-and-white movie. Or like, maybe Gone with the Wind. Then, once the creepiness comes in, the same theme distorts and the drums from “Run” are back. It’s just so unsettling and interesting and I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!!!

It’s also possible this actually references Red. Like maybe the happy-ish music from the beginning is Red, and then the distortion is Adelaide coming after her…

We don’t really know that the Tethered are bad, do we…?

TRACK 19: “Silent Scream”

I’m guessing this is referencing the brief moment we catch in the trailers of Adelaide screaming while holding…someone. It’s too quick to catch who it is that she’s holding, buuuut….I’m assuming it isn’t…..good……

Also, for a track titled the way it is, it sure is anything but silent. It’s loud, with lots of instruments and melodies battling it out for dominance.

Basically, I’m assuming things are going really well by this point in the film. I’m sure everything’s fine.

TRACK 20: “News Report”

We see at least a couple shots in the trailers of the beach just…littered with what I’m assuming are corpses. Basically everyone in the cast is listed as playing two characters, which means everyone in the town has a Tethered, and they all attacked on that one night…for some reason.

Also rabbits are everywhere.

Since many of the shots are in daylight, we know that the attack starts with the home invasion at night but goes on into the next day, which is when I’m assuming the mysterious news report takes place.

Does the reporter live through the end of the film??? Probably not, but we’ll see.

TRACK 21: “Zora Drives”

This track, clearly, is about Zora driving-we do see her behind the wheel for a moment in the trailers.

The big question then, of course, is why she’s driving-what happened to lead to that point?? WHERE ARE ADELAIDE AND GABE.

This track also introduces us to a really creepy string tune that plays throughout the track at different speeds…so that’s…fun.

TRACK 22: “Death of Umbrae”

We know from the cast list that Zora’s Tethered is named Umbrae…so um…she apparently doesn’t make it.

This tells us a couple things-aside from the fact that yes, Umbrae dies, it tells us that the Tethered can be killed. There’s a way, somehow, for them to die.

Does Zora hit her with the car? Is that it?

This track features an “ahh-ing” choir and somber string notes. So I’m assuming her death is something dramatic and intense and maybe…not a good thing?

TRACK 23: “Somber Ride”

With a title like that, you’d expect like…something slow, something contemplative, something, ya know, somber? It’s not really. The strings are certainly somber, still super creepy, but there’s a drum beat that carries through most of the track to take away any element of “somber.”

It also makes me think, again, since this is the track following Umbrae’s death, maaaaaybe her death wasn’t such a good thing…

For example, what happens if your Tethered dies? Just how tethered together are the two of you? Does Umbrae’s death affect Zora in some way??

TRACK 24: “Immolation”

“Immolation” is, apparently, some kind of sacrifice, usually involving fire.

I’m assuming then that it has to do with Pluto somehow, since he’s the one attached to fire. The track itself has an interesting build-up, with intense choral singing leading into lots of “ahh-ing” combined with a quick-paced string melody and lots of drums. It certainly sounds like the build-up to some kind of sacrifice, but why is a sacrifice necessary?

Is it that a sacrifice is necessary to kill the Tethered? In that case, who was the sacrifice for Umbrae’s death?

What does ANY OF THIS MEAN???

TRACK 25: “Down the Rabbit Hole”

We’re now getting into the tracks that truly confuse me. I really don’t get the rabbit thing…why are they everywhere? Why is there rabbit IMAGERY everywhere??

The title is, of course, an Alice in Wonderland reference, but why? Alice never had a double of herself that I recall, although there is the whole Through the Looking Glass thing. We do see at least some mirror imagery in the trailers, so maybe that’s what the reference really is…

I dunno. It’s a cool track, though-it has a fun build-up to some fast-paced string melodies and some intense drum work. Clearly something dramatic happens!

TRACK 26: “Performance Art”

Look, the title was giving me nothing, and it’s almost impossible to speculate what could be happening at this point in the film.

Now we know that we have some ballet references in here, so that’s what the title could be referring to, but we don’t really know for sure.

Are the bunnies a performance art? IS THAT WHAT THEY MEAN??

TRACK 27: “Human”

Ah yes, the age-old question.

Something at this point in the film discusses the idea of being “human,” I’m assuming. Are the Tethered human? Are the Wilson’s any more or less human than the Tethered? Do certain actions taken throughout the film challenge that idea of being human? Does killing someone make you more or less human? If the Tethered aren’t human, does killing them make you more or less human?

I have no idea if that’s the rabbit hole (GET IT?? THESE ARE THE JOKES!!) the film will go down with this track or not, but it’s certainly an interesting concept.

The track itself is generally much more slow-paced than the previous ones leading up to it. It still has the creepy choir, but it’s generally more contemplative than the quick and creepy string melodies from before.

TRACK 28: “Battle Plan”

Aaaand we’re back to the chanting and the fast-paced strings and drums!!

This is a shorter track, again, but it’s full of determination! I’m assuming it’s a battle plan Adelaide comes up with, but again, we don’t know if the Tethered are actually villains or not…maybe this is the Wilson’s helping the Tethered overcome an entirely different enemy.

WHO KNOWS. I DON’T.

TRACK 29: “Pas de deux”

Another one of my favorite tracks!!

If you’ve watched the trailers…semi-obsessively hunting for clues like I have, then this track should sound familiar to you-this is the creepy remixed part of “I Got 5 On It” that we hear in the trailers, minus the actual “I Got 5 On It” section.

If you aren’t familiar with ballet terms (or you’re not a weeb like I freely admit I am and didn’t watch Princess Tutu ever), a pas de deux literally translates to “step of two” in French. It’s a duet dance, and a staple of any ballet.

Since we know ballet plays some kind of key role in this, it’s fascinating to me that this song comes after “Battle Plan.” A dance for two is part of the plan? Obviously it doesn’t have to be an actual dance, could be a metaphor, whatever, but can you imagine if their plan was actually dancing? GET ‘EM, ADELAIDE.

Also though, you can’t be talking about the duality of people and ballet without mentioning, of course, Swan Lake. The whole point of the story is that the white swan loses her love because the black swan, her evil double, deceives the prince and takes her place.

The more I think about it, the more I think it’s interesting that Black Swan was not one of the movies in Lupita Nyong’o’s homework stash, but more on that later…

TRACK 30: “They Can’t Hurt You”

This track reminds me a lot of “Keep You Safe” actually, both musically and in title. This is clearly the “calm after the storm” song. The battle has been won…they can’t hurt you.

But again, it’s unclear whether this is referencing the Wilson clan or the Tethered clan. Maybe it’s not referencing any of them at all.

What I really love about this song is that it’s actually hopeful sounding! It takes the creepy melody from “Pas de deux” and plays it slowly, on a piano, in a major key so it sounds uplifting rather than scary.

As “happy” as this song is (I’m hesitant to call any of this happy, it might mean nothing…), it’s not actually…the ending, much as it feels like it could be.

TRACK 31: “Finale”

DAMMIT, PEELE.

This song starts out sounding like a finale would. It’s slow, it’s peaceful, it sounds like the music that would play over someone picking up the pieces of their lives to start over after something awful happened.

It starts out sounding like maybe, everything’s fine. And even if it’s not fine in that moment, it will be, eventually.

BUT THEN.

The strings in the background change, a more haunting melody starts playing, and then it transitions back into that DAMN CHANTING. Things get faster, the chanting is there, everything sounds unhappy again, and then the piano version of the “Pas de deux” melody plays but it no longer sounds hopeful.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN AND WHY IS IT LIKE THIS.

It’s also possible that this is the music that plays over the end credits. Which is fine, it does mean…theoretically, that the movie is indeed over by that point, but it still leaves you feeling like it isn’t quite over, there’s more to figure out. And actually, from what people have said, it is certainly a film you may need to see more than once to fully grasp it.

TRACK 32: “I Got 5 On It (Tethered Mix from US)”

Now if you’re like me, all you wanted was access to the fabulous creepy remix of “I Got 5 On It” used in the trailer. AND WE GOT IT.

I love, love, LOVE this remix. It’s soooo unnerving but also extremely catchy??

Plus, I absolutely love that the remix version that has haunted us for the past couple months is in the official soundtrack in “Pas de deux.” We’ve all been thinking about this song subconsciously, and then we’re gonna hear it in theatres and OUR MINDS WILL JUST EXPLODE.

So that about does it for the soundtrack, and what little I can pull from what we have. If you’re curious, absolutely go check it out on Spotify or Apple Music/iTunes. Or like I think some of it is on YouTube.

So now…

Lupita Nyong’o Had Some Homework

Before filming Us, Jordan Peele gave lead actress Lupita Nyong’o some horror movie homework to prepare. We know which films he had her watch, so let’s break those down a little, shall we?

1. Dead Again

PLOT: A mute woman suffering from amnesia arrives at an orphanage, and a private detective and a hypnotist are tasked with finding out who she is. Thanks to the hypnotist, Mute Woman starts regaining her voice and some extremely vivid memories of a famous couple from the 1940’s (from what I can tell, the speculation is that the husband murdered the wife, but they don’t know for sure). Mute Woman and Detective start falling in love, but they bear a striking resemblance to the 1940’s couple…Mute Woman starts wondering if Detective will kill her so she’ll be dead…again.

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: Ummmm…I mean, okay, it’s possible that this might reference the Tethered’s connection to the other characters. Maybe the Tethered represent how they died in another life, and they need to make sure the cycle keeps going. I guess. Or they just want their respective characters to remember how they died so they don’t repeat the same mistakes?

2. The Shining

PLOT: Jack, a writer struggling with writer’s block, becomes the winter caretaker of the isolated Overlook Hotel. He takes his wife and son with him. Once they’re snowed in, however, supernatural forces in the hotel start plaguing Jack so that he becomes hellbent on terrorizing his family, just as his son’s visions and premonitions get worse…

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: Okay, so basically everyone at least knows of The Shining, right? What this says to me is that there’s possibly some supernatural influence about Adelaide’s hometown in particular. After all, it at least seems that all her experiences with the Tethered are tied to that town, and that town alone. I hope it doesn’t mean that Gabe’s gonna go crazy and try to kill everyone. Or maybe Jason and Zora have premonitions?

3. The Babadook

PLOT: An exhausted widow caring for her six-year-old son by herself is plagued still by the grief of her husband’s death in a car accident (on their way to the hospital while she was in labor, no less). One night, her son asks her to read from a storybook called “Mister Babadook” about a weird creature who torments people once they’re aware of it. Of course, it starts doing just that…

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: If you haven’t seen The Babadook, well, small spoiler warning now in effect. The big debate about the film is whether or not the Babadook is actually real or if it’s just a metaphor for how we sometimes let grief control us. So this could mean that the Tethered are not actually real, but a metaphor for something else that we feel is connected to us…or something. Or they are very, very real.

4. It Follows

PLOT: A group of friends (and one girl in particular) spend the entire film pursued by an entity that can take the form of any person at all. The entity’s hunt is passed along via sex, so if you want to get rid of it, you have sex with someone to pass it on and then it’s their problem. The friends team up to try and find a way to kill the entity, and just when you think they’ve succeeded, a figure is seen walking behind our two leads…

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: Like The Babadook, It Follows is actually more of a metaphorical horror film discussing the danger and stigmas of STDs. So, again, this could be referring to the idea that the Tethered are not actually real creatures, but a representation of something else, something that affects humans in a different, monstrous way.

5. A Tale of Two Sisters

PLOT: The story follows Su-mi, a teenage girl who was just released from a mental institution after being treated for shock and psychosis. She lives with her father, her stepmother, and her younger sister. As the film goes on, it becomes more clear that everything we’re seeing, everything Su-mi is seeing, may not be real at all. The house is filled with ghosts…

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: Again, if you haven’t seen A Tale of Two Sisters, spoiler warning!! The big twist is that Su-mi actually has DID, or Dissociative identity disorder. She actually plays herself, her stepmother, AND her younger sister. Many of the scenes where we saw other actors were actually Su-mi talking with herself. There are definitely ghosts in the house, many of the characters see them, and one such ghost is indeed Su-mi’s sister. Su-mi’s sister died when a wardrobe fell on top of her, and the stepmother found her…and didn’t help. That’s why Su-mi was in the mental institution in the beginning of the movie. Now again, this could mean that the Tethered are some kind of dead ghost versions of the characters, or maybe they’re alternate personalities of them.

6. The Birds

PLOT: Melanie, a young socialite, visits her romantic interest Mitch at his seaside hometown. As she stays and meets more of the people there, more and more mysterious bird attacks keep happening. Melanie herself is attacked by a seagull on the way into the bay. As the bird attacks escalate, so too does the paranoia of the townspeople as they desperately search for a way to survive, and someone to blame.

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: Well some of the connections are clear already-someone visiting a seaside hometown where mysterious and unexplained attacks start occurring. There is a lot of potential symbolism in The Birds, ranging from the metaphor of women being birds to the idea that we should be more careful how we treat nature. I’m not sure whether any of those messages directly connect to Us, but we’ll have to wait to see. One interesting thing to note is that while The Birds starts out with the birds caged up while the humans can move about freely, by the end, it is clear that the humans are caged up and trapped while the birds can move about freely. Again, not sure if that ties in at all, I just think it’s neat.

7. Funny Games

PLOT: A family of four (including a dog) arrive for vacation at their lakeside house, where they meet with their rather strange neighbors. Strange things keep happening, but it doesn’t become really sinister until the two neighbors then take the family hostage and force them to play a number of “games” with them in order to stay alive.

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: The movie itself is cruel and grueling to sit through, and it’s supposed to be. It’s completely hopeless from the start, and the audience knows this, but it’s still hard to watch. Spoilers ahead: every single family member is nonchalantly offed by the end, and then it starts all over with a different family. While the home invasion connection is clear, I’m hoping that the Tethered’s goal is not to simply play games with Wilson’s in order for them to stay alive, because there has to be more to it then that. What is interesting is that the director for Funny Games has made it very clear that it is meant to be a commentary on how violence is presented in the media. It’s not supposed to be a film for entertainment because violence shouldn’t be entertaining. Now, whether or not that ties into Us or not remains to be seen. Another important element of Funny Games is all the fourth wall breaking done by the two villains. They make it clear time and again that this is a movie, and they have total control over it.

8. Martyrs

PLOT: A young abused girl escapes her torment and winds up at an orphanage, where she befriends another girl there. The first girl, Lucie, tells her new friend, Anna, about her abuse and how she feels she is constantly tortured by some mysterious ghost woman. 15 years later, Lucie is on the hunt for the family that abused her as a child, and ends up killing an entire family she believes to be responsible. Anna is horrified by this, and Lucie is “attacked” by the ghost woman in front of her; Anna only sees Lucie attacking herself. Later in the film, Anna meets the people who tortured Lucie, learning she is one of many. The group is set on discovering the secrets of the afterlife by creating “martyrs.”

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: The first obvious connection is that the mysterious ghost woman haunting Lucie isn’t real; it’s a manifestation of her guilt. When she escaped as a child, she left another girl behind, and that is what haunts her. So again, the Tethered may not be real, but instead a manifestation of something else. There’s also the potential connection again that the Tethered are the dead versions of the other characters. Maybe they got that way because they are “martyrs” in some sense of the word. From what I understand, Martyrs is another film that’s real hard to sit through, and the entire third act is just the audience being forced to watch Anna go through a whole lot of torture. So that’s…pleasant.

9. Let the Right One In

PLOT: The movie follows Oskar, a 12-year-old boy plagued by bullies and filled with ideas on how to get revenge on them. He never is able to go through with it. One day, a girl his age moves in next door named Eli. Despite Eli’s insistence that they can never be friends, the two do form a bond of sorts. Oskar is able to stand up to his bullies because of Eli’s encouragement, but the real trouble kicks in when Oskar learns what Eli is: a vampire.

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: It’s interesting to note that Peele’s list specifically focuses on this Swedish movie and not the English remake, Let Me In. While this movie is certainly a horror movie-lots of killings and vampiric activities-the big emphasis of the film is the relationship between Oskar and Eli. In the English remake, much more emphasis was put on the horror elements of the film, not the relationship. So this could mean that perhaps there is some sort of relationship built between one or more of the characters and their Tethered counterparts. Perhaps it’s Jason and Pluto, since we see them have an interesting seemingly non-violent encounter in a closet. Or maybe the Tethered are vampires. Who knows!

10. The Sixth Sense

PLOT: The film follows Malcolm, a child psychologist, and his current patient, Cole. Cole is plagued with visions of dead people, and Malcolm is tasked with helping him with his visions while at the same time healing the broken relationship with his wife who doesn’t seem to want to even talk to him anymore.

WHAT THIS COULD MEAN: If for some reason you haven’t seen The Sixth Sense yet, PLEASE DO SO. DO IT NOW BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER. It’s a brilliant plot twist and you must go into it blind!! Okay, for everyone else…this could mean a number of things. It could mean, again, that the Tethered are ghosts of some kind. It could mean that they don’t actually want to harm the Wilson’s or anyone else, they just need help. It could mean that the Wilson’s aren’t even alive themselves. I mean, The Sixth Sense has a thing with the color red…the Tethered wear red jumpsuits……I DUNNO, FAM.

It’s all speculation

While it’s super fun picking apart the soundtrack and the movie list, it’s still all speculation, and so far, only people who have seen the movie know what’s really going on, AND THEY’RE KEEPING IT BETWEEN THEM. #rude

I mean I’m thankful, but also…tell me everything.

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to Us. I pick up something new from Get Out every time I watch it, and I’m hoping Us will be the same way. It’s my favorite kind of film-one that makes you think about it long after you’ve left the theatre.

Let me know if you’ve seen it and you loved it, or if you’re going to see it and are excited, or if you’re just avoiding it because it looks terrifying. Honestly, that’s fair. I’m terrified, too, I’m just inexplicably drawn to it. It’s because I’m a 4 on the Enneagram. It’s a curse.

…maybe the Tethered are part of some curse on the town??? WHAT ARE THEY??????