Category: adventure

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part Review

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GET IT BECAUSE THEY PARODY AND MAKE FUN OF ACTION FANTASY FILMS. GET IT.

So this morning, I took myself to the movies and saw The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part. Yes, I took myself to a movie on Valentine’s Day and I LOVED it. Next question.

I saw the original film kind of by accident, my friends and I had planned to see another film (I don’t even remember what it was now) but we got there way too late, and we said “well, maybe we can at least make fun of The Lego Movie.”

And then we were BLOWN away! Like someone on my tumblr said, “the lego movies have NO BUSINESS being as good as they are!”

Granted no one believes me when I swear up and down that The Lego Movie is actually really well-done and heartfelt with an important message and it’s super self-aware and FUNNY. And feel-good! It’s honestly one of my favorite movies, but it’s hard to convince people that it’s good. I mean, I get it-it sounds stupid and…like, also why is it even a thing?

The point is, I was tentatively really excited for the sequel. The first one was amazing-does the second one stand on its level?

and this is everything you need to know about these characters, right here, in one picture

THE PLOT

We pick up technically sort of right after the end of the first movie, when Dad (Will Ferrell) tells Finn (Jadon Sand) that if he can play down in the basement now with the Legos, so can his younger sister, Bianca (Brooklynn Prince). Cue Bricksburg being attacked by those monsters/aliens made out of the bigger Lego sets designed for younger kids. We see everyone ready to attack, but Emmett (Chris Pratt) tells them to hold it, we don’t need to fight anymore! Emmett makes a big heart out of Legos and gives it to the aliens…who promptly eat it, prompting the rest of Bricksburg to attack.

Five years pass, and Lucy (Elizabeth Banks) narrates how they came to where they are now: embittered by years of rebuilding things only to have the aliens destroy them, they have built a new, less-shiny, dystopian city called “Apocalypseburg.” The citizens are scruffy, angry versions of their former selves (in a fun scene, Emmett walks through the city in a similar way to the intro scene of the first movie, greeting all the same characters who are now all dystopian and stuff-even the cats!), giving up on building anything bright and fun lest it attract the aliens. Everyone, that is, except Emmett, who is still just as happy-go-lucky as we remember him. Lucy tries to get him in the dystopian mood, telling him to brood, and in an attempt to do so, Emmett discusses a dream he had about “Armamageddon” where everyone is lost into the BINS of STOR-AGE!!

Oh and also, he built Lucy a cute little house!! Emmett’s super excited about it (he even made a little throw pillow that has “E + L Forever” embroidered on it), but Lucy is worried the bright colors will attract the aliens. Sure enough, a weird ship shows up and attacks them. The citizens of Apocalypseburg hide in a big safe-room thing they built, but in an effort to save one of the adorable alien stars, Emmett opens the door slightly and accidentally lets in General Mayhem (Stephanie Beatriz!!!).

Mayhem grabs Lucy, Batman (Will Arnett), Unikitty (Alison Brie), MetalBeard (Nick Offerman), and Benny (Charlie Day) and takes them to the “Systar System” for a matrimonial ceremony. Once there, they meet Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi (Tiffany Haddish), who swears she is NOT. EVIL. Really. I promise.

Meanwhile, Emmett rebuilds his house for Lucy as a spaceship, determined to go save his friends, and on the way, he meets REX DANGERVEST (also voiced by Chris Pratt). Rex becomes kind of a mentor to Emmett as they travel, but can they save their friends before Armamageddon hits? Will they find out what is REALLY going on?

this is the entire film pretty much

THE REVIEW

So in a similar fashion to the first movie, there’s a relatively big plot twist and reveal near the end that changes everything. Up to that point, it’s a pretty standard family film with a lot of meta jokes and really lovely animation and fun moments, but…it’s just kind of okay. I kept guessing where they were going with this (after all, one reason I love the first film is how it out of NOWHERE pulls at your heartstrings and changes everything about the movie up to that point), but honestly? I was so, so wrong. I could kind of guess some details (it’s called “ArMAMAgeddon” for a reason) but I couldn’t predict everything, and I’m glad I couldn’t.

It was still good and fun to watch, but the humor felt…not as good as the first movie. It felt more forced, which makes sense. After all, the original threw EVERYONE for a loop, it was so out-of-nowhere and GOOD. Then, in an effort to keep that money-making up, we got Lego: Batman which was…okay. Still good! Still fun! But not…the same. It was clearly made without the same amount of love the first film was. Then we got Ninjago and everyone kinda lost hope in the Lego movies.

Basically, this movie had a lot to live up to, and for me, it didn’t really meet that bar…up until the big twist and the ending. I still think I prefer the first movie by…a lot, BUT, this movie did deliver a great couple twists that changed everything and made me go “AWWWW.” It was a great, positive, feel-good film about the importance of love and togetherness.

People (specifically my ol’ college buds) make fun of me for preferring generally happy, feel-good stories, but honestly? I think sometimes that’s what you need. Generally, we watch movies, plays, musicals, TV, or read books to escape. Isn’t it much more enjoyable if that escape makes you feel good? Now I’m a 4 on the Enneagram, so I do love a good sad story, or misunderstood character, or best of all a tragic, TRAGIC backstory. But I also like to come away from a story feeling good and happy-I want to re-experience stuff like that.

Anyway, tangent done. The point is, I did really, really like this movie. It’s just a lot of fun, and really heartfelt and wonderful, especially at the end. Does it live up to the first movie? Nah, at least not in my opinion, but it’s still good. Better than Batman and Ninjago, that’s for sure.

But what makes it so, dare I say…AWESOME??

Spoiler warning now in effect!

EVERYTHING IS AWESOMEEEEE

THE MUSIC

As Lucy says at one point…”Oh no, are we in a musical??”

Yes. This is a musical. Kind of.

Really there are only three songs that feature the characters breaking out into song and two of them are really headlined by Tiffany Haddish as the queen.

It’s interesting, because I distinctly remember thinking the score from the first movie was one of my favorite things ever, it was just super fun and had NO BUSINESS BEING THAT GOOD. Plus there was everyone’s favorite bop “Everything is Awesome.”

This doesn’t have as good of a score, in my opinion, but the soundtrack is still good. “Not Evil” is just ridiculous and super fun, and if I was still auditioning for musicals I would ABSOLUTELY use it. “Catchy Song” does, as the lyrics say, get stuck in your head. But it’s fun and cute, and the scene in the movie that features it is one of my favorites. “Gotham City Guys” is…okay. It’s a fun song, but the relationship built up between the queen and Batman is just…I mean it’s fanfiction material. It’s not bad, it’s juuuuuuust…unique?

But the real amazing song is, and wait for it… “Everything’s Not Awesome.”

Yeah. They did that.

Just when all hope seems lost, the group sings about how yes, everything is NOT awesome. It’s the same tune as “Everything is Awesome” but slowed down and with a piano and really, really sad lyrics…UNTIL……

Lucy’s lyrics in the song are amazing, and this song is what really helped change my mind about the film. She sings “Everything’s not awesome/but that doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless and bleak/everything’s not awesome but in my heart I believe/we can make things better if we stick together/side by side, you and I, we will build it together” which is cute, right?

It then combines with the lyrics to “Catchy Song” but instead of “this song’s gonna get stuck inside your head” the cast sings “this song’s gonna get stuck inside your heart.” WHICH IS SO DORKY AND RIDICULOUS AND I LOVE IT.

Then, the song goes on: “Everything’s not awesome/things can’t be awesome all of the time/it’s unrealistic expectation/but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to make everything awesome/in a less idealistic kind of way”

WHICH. LIKE.

Not to mention that the first credits song is all about how awesome credits are because we get to see the names of all the other people who worked on the movie (they timed it so that they sing about specific people like the editor when their name is onscreen and it’s adorable) which like yes!!! Give those people love!! The other two credits songs are all about how we should come together even if we’re different if there was ever a message kids should hear these days, it’s that. They go about their lives seeing adults fight constantly, so to see this movie and get the message that it’s better to work together and focus on love rather than hate…I support this.

my last three brain cells

THE CHARACTERS

Many of the characters are exactly who we loved from the first film (with the possible exception of Batman because I still just…I don’t know how I feel about his whole marriage arc) and it’s a delight. Emmett is relatable AF as always, Lucy is an amazing badass who like faces consequences and changes her mind and realizes the power of love which like YES, Unikitty, MetalBeard, and Benny are sweet lil’ beans yet again. General/Sweet Mayhem is adorable and my love for her increased when I realized she was voiced by Stephanie Beatriz (HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT I AM THE WORST FAN). Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi was super funky and I loved her constant shape-shifting through the film, it was just fun to watch (and after the big twist, my love for her increased). The Queen’s minions (Ice Cream Cone and Banarnar are the two really coming to mind because they were my favs) are super fun, and of course, our human characters are great. Finn and Bianca are super great and I love them, and even though we didn’t see Will Ferrell as Dad this time, we DID see Maya Rudolph as Mom which was fun!

I’m upset Vitruvius didn’t make an appearance, even as a ghost, but I’m most upset about Bad Cop. YOU GAVE LORD BUSINESS TWO WHOLE GOLF REFERENCES, AND BAD COP DOESN’T EVEN GET A WORD, JUST A GRUNT???

#rude

Rex Dangervest is…is a character. I like the meta jokes about who he is (IT’S BECAUSE HE’S VOICED BY CHRIS PRATT GET IT) but he’s never that likable, and granted he’s actually not supposed to be as we learn later. But unfortunately that means we’re stuck with him for a lot of the film, and he’s just…ugh he’s so loud and obsessed with destruction and bleh.

“But wait isn’t that the point?” YES. Exactly.

Let’s talk about the big twists so we can go into why Rex is the worst.

I love how the soldiers’ weapons are cake pops but also WHY DOES BIANCA HAVE SO MANY CAKE POPS AND WHY ISN’T SHE EATING THEM CAKE POPS ARE GREAT, BIANCA

THE TWIST(S)

The clock is ticking down the minutes to the dreaded 5:15, which is when the Queen will marry Batman (that is a real sentence I just typed, yes). Lucy has met up with Emmett and Rex and they have concocted a plan to destroy the wedding ceremony. However, Lucy learns that General Mayhem, without her helmet, is actually Sweet Mayhem, and is super nice and also? The Queen does not want to destroy the world and bring about Armamageddon, she just wants to unite their two worlds in love so the fighting can stop! The whole fight, Lucy and Sweet have been going back and forth with “you started it, no you started it!” And when Lucy points that out, Sweet says no, really, you guys started it.

At the same time, the Queen takes her original form: the heart that Emmett gave the aliens at the beginning of the movie. Lucy realizes that the aliens have never wanted to fight, they took the heart Emmett gave them and made it their queen!

At the same time again, we learn why she’s called Queen Watevra Wa”Nabi: when Bianca first started playing with Legos when she was a lot younger, Finn made her that Lego heart and gave it to her, telling her it could be “whatever she wanted it to be.”

AWWWWWWWW

Also, her friends were never brainwashed like she thought, they just genuinely liked the Systar System better because it’s happier there and everyone is friends! (Which means that Superman and Green Lantern were not brainwashed into being friends, they just genuinely became friends which IS ALSO GROWTH OKAY)

Lucy tries to stop Emmett, but Rex convinces him that Lucy must also be brainwashed, so he goes through with destroying everything.

This has us cut to “reality,” where Mom walks in on Finn and Bianca fighting again-Finn (as Emmett) destroyed the tower Bianca built because she took his stuff (the characters that Mayhem captured). Mom (after stepping on a Lego twice because can you believe they didn’t have that gag in the first movie) says alright, this is really it now, time to pack up the Legos and put them into storage. Finn tells Bianca (as he grabs the spaceship containing Emmett and Rex, allowing them to “make their escape) that she “ruined everything” and she says softly after him that she just wanted him to play with her. (This brings to mind the scene earlier where Sweet Mayhem was telling Lucy that they wanted to be friends because they really looked up to them, which translates to Bianca wants to play with Finn because she really looks up to her brother AND I’M CRYING)

This next twist is…a trip.

Rex reveals to Emmett that he IS EMMETT. He is Emmett who got tossed under the dryer and never found, who hardened because of that, and built a time machine to go back and save himself from…himself. It’s a little funky, but it explains why Chris Pratt voices both characters. Emmett is horrified, but Rex points out that this is great though, look at how tough and mature Emmett is now! Isn’t that what he wanted?

We cut back to our other group, thrown into the bins with the lids on. I kid you not, they show us a THE END TITLE CARD. YEAH. THEY DO THAT.

But Lucy says “woah, no, this is not that story that ends on a depressing cliffhanger.”

This is when “Everything’s Not Awesome” is sung, and the music maybe metaphorically reaches Finn’s heart, and he opens the bin of Legos from his sister’s room. He finds the pieces that build up the Queen, and he remakes her as a heart. He brings it to his sister in her room as the music swells and it’s ADORABLE, OKAY.

Meanwhile, Rex has banished Emmett to under the dryer to think about his actions or something, but then Rex comes there anyway to like beat him up I guess. But Lucy comes for him and saves him!! Lucy and Emmett talk to Rex, try to get him to come with them, but Rex says that since Lucy came for Emmett, Rex will never exist now (“I’m Back to the Future-ing!” he says I KID YOU NOT).

There’s one more twist I promise (although it’s just kind of funny). Anyway, we catch up with Mom, who hears her kids and walks outside to find them playing together with the Legos, and it’s super sweet. She smiles watching them, and then we hear Will Ferrell from inside yell “honey, where are my pants?”

YEAH REMEMBER HOW THAT WAS NEVER EXPLAINED IN THE FIRST MOVIE. GOD BLESS, THAT MEANS FINN HEARS HIS DAD SAY THAT A LOT. I LOVE IT.

I dunno how much acting Pratt had to do for this character tbh I mean…that’s the joke

THE MESSAGE

So the big overall message is one of unity, like I mentioned earlier with the music. There’s no big epic fight, just like how there wasn’t a big epic fight in the first film. There’s just reconciliation between a family, and it’s done in a really sweet way in both movies.

Another message that centers around Rex entirely is that of the dangers of toxic masculinity. Think about it: Rex’s big power is that he can destroy things. He loves it, he LIVES for it; that’s his thing, and he’s proud of it. He was hardened by no one coming to save him under the dryer, and he let that anger control him into wanting to ruin the possible happiness and reconciliation between the two worlds. He is, very purposely, every single action hero ever.

(Quick sidenote and speaking of action heroes: the Bruce Willis cameos in the film were AMAZING. I mean, so random, but great)

Rex represents all the anger Finn feels at Bianca. She steals his toys, she ruins everything…so he breaks her stuff.

One of my favorite lines is when Emmett is talking to Rex at the end and says that there’s nothing about what Rex does that is particularly tough-he takes the easy way out and never wants to connect with or save anyone, only himself. Emmett says that “opening your heart? That’s really tough.”

You could argue when Rex is “Back to the Future-ing” at the end, he does open up a little to Lucy and Emmett, but the important thing is just that: he disappears. He is all anger and destruction and he is not needed.

Now he did teach Emmett how to destroy, and that’s a part of him now. Heck, Rex IS Emmett, remember?

But that’s not all Emmett is. He doesn’t have a perfectly chiseled face, he doesn’t thrive off of loneliness and destroying things, he’s a dork who named his plant “Planty” and buys his girl coffee every morning, he remembers the name of every cat that belongs to that one lady he says hi to every day, he is constantly full of hope, he loves his friends, he loves pop music, and he believes correctly that opening your heart is a really tough thing to do…but it’s worth it. He has never once fought a major villain in the franchise-he talks to them. He offers his hand to them. He tells them that love is more powerful than anything else.

And Lucy loves him for it. All his friends love him for it.

Kids are seeing that anger doesn’t actually solve anything, but peace and love does.

Which brings us to some…interesting reviews I’ve seen…

I wonder if the men are mad because Batman looks like this for most of the film

THE REVIEWS

So you know how Google has this thing where, if you Google a movie now, you can see critic reviews and audience reviews?

So like, I read a while ago that some people started boycotting the Lego: Batman movie because-and I’m serious-it is gay propaganda. The reason? Because Robin is adopted by Bruce Wayne…and Batman. So it promotes…”same-sex adoption.”

I cannot stress how much Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person.

Reviews of that nature have also come after this movie…there are complaints about Bianca’s shirt, which has a rainbow collar (yes, really). There are complaints about Batman’s marriage to Queen Watevra Wa’Nabi because it promotes a marriage to a “nonbinary character.” At first I thought they were referring to the Queen, although characters throughout the film refer to the Queen as “her” which like, she could still be nonbinary, but that seems like a bit of a stretch. Then I realized-Batman. Batman’s nonbinary, of course. That’s why they’re all upset (refer to photo above).

Other complaints are about how it features “undermining the father’s role in the home” (IS THIS BECAUSE WE ONLY HEARD WILL FERRELL AND DIDN’T SEE HIM. HE’S PROBABLY HIDING AFTER THAT DISASTER OF A SHERLOCK HOLMES ADAPTATION HE TRIED TO BE IN) and that it features a character with blue hair who is a “social justice warrior” (I am happy to report that I just today dyed my hair blue, I will be reporting to my social justice warrior camp in the morning).

There are even complaints about how the female characters save the day.

It’s people like this who the movie is targeting, in a way. They are the Rex Dangervest’s of the world. And they had to watch (with their CHILDREN) themselves get undermined on the big screen by a blue-haired FEMALE social justice warrior, a nonbinary Batman, and a girl with a rainbow collared shirt (in front of their CHILDREN).

I don’t want to attack anyone who thinks all of that, really I don’t. I just think maybe if those are your complaints about the movie, maybe you’re not really watching it, you’re just looking for things to hate about it. Everything seems like an attack on you personally when you view it that way. Also? It’s a kid’s movie. Also also? It’s a MOVIE. IT’S MADE-UP, Y’ALL.

I’m not saying it doesn’t have an effect even though it’s made-up, I’m just saying we’re going to war over something that doesn’t really warrant it. I mean…one of the characters is a banana. Who slips on his own peel frequently. That is a recurring gag in the film.

But if you think this movie is bad for your kids because it’s pushing some kind of “politically correct agenda” which is simply…”be nice to each other”, then, well, yeah, I’m gonna make fun of you for it a lil’ bit. And I will absolutely keep dying my hair blue and wearing rainbows all the time.

(also like someone complained that Benny is gay?? And like, I’m super bi you guys, if I missed the big gay agenda push with Benny, I don’t think it’s there. If we’re gonna label it, I would say Benny’s pretty asexual. Have you seen him get excited about literally anything else other than a spaceship? Yeah)

Planty is never seen again after this scene. RIP Planty.

“OOF” MOMENT

I’ve already expressed my distaste at the ONE TINY SCENE THAT THEY GAVE TO BAD COP, SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. But I think I’d have to award this moment to the scene where Maya Rudolph steps on a Lego…twice. While it’s an appropriate gag, obviously, it felt very Maya Rudolph-y and not very…Lego Movie-y. It just felt out of place with the tone of the movie. And the tone of this movie is like, allllll over the place.

Also like, whatever scene confirmed Benny’s gayness for a lot of angry parents. It was so bad and subtle I MISSED IT.

FAVORITE MOMENT

The entire ending with all the heartfeltness is probably it, but I have to highlight the scene where Unikitty becomes…Ultrakatty. I feel like I appreciate cat jokes a lot more now that I have a cat. Also there’s a scene where a loud noise wakes Unikitty up and she just puffs up like crazy. It was my cat on the screen, basically.

Also the second part of the credits is ridiculously adorable because it shows pictures of the Lego creations of real-live siblings and it’s SO. CUTE.

“they come in pieces” these are the PUNS

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

Like I’ve said, I’ve never really been able to convince people that the Lego movies are actually really, really good. I still genuinely think the first movie is better, but this one is a worthy follow-up, even though it’s not quite as good.

If you liked the first one, even if you were unimpressed with Batman and Ninjago, I think you will like this one. It goes back to its roots more than the spin-offs do, and it is genuinely enjoyable, especially once the twist kicks in. Plus, there are SO MANY META JOKES. SO MANY.

If you’re looking for reasons to hate it, like I said, you won’t like it, of course. If you like fun, feel-good movies and you’re willing to give this a chance, please consider checking out the original and then seeing this one.

They are really, really good, I promise!!

All in all, I give The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part,

4/5 BASIC LEGO BRICKS WITH EXAGGERATED ANIME EYES!!

Because for some reason all of the Systar System characters had crazy big anime eyes. It must be for the added emphasis on those puppy-eyes scenes.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Bunch of repeats, although some of them had a new version of the trailer, like Uglydolls (brace yourself, guys, the bad guy seems to be…A BLONDE WHITE MALE!!!) and How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (I am SO EXCITED and also SO TERRIFIED if they do ANYTHING to Toothless, I genuinely won’t survive. I’m crying over animated flying lizards already and we still have a week). Newbies include Toy Story 4 which…ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why is this happening?? Is it the money???? It’s the money, isn’t it. They ended it PERFECTLY with Toy Story 3, but noooooooo. And look, it’s Pixar, and it’s the Toy Story franchise, so it has a good chance of being like, actually good. But….why does it exist in the first place??? Stupid money. Speaking of cash-grabs, The Secret Life of Pets 2 looks….aight, I guess. I was real excited about the first one, and then it was just kinda…meh. So I don’t have high hopes for this one. The one I’m REALLY excited for is Detective Pikachu. I mean…that is my and a whole lot of other people’s childhoods coming to life in a very, very weird way on screen and I am SO EXCITED. Plus like, Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu??? I am living.

Thankfully I didn’t have to sit through another Brightburn trailer this time.

That’s it for this review! I guess one reason I don’t understand the negative reviews (mostly because I disagree with the basis entirely) is because I really wanted to just…pull the good things out of it? Like I said, it’s not as good as the first one I don’t think, but there’s still really heartwarming stuff that happens. But I forget that we don’t like heartwarming I guess.

Anyway, I thought it was good, and I’m all down for skewing the review results against people who are angry about the movie because Benny is…gay.

I just-he’s not even the character who wore the rainbow-collared shirt??? Whatever.

The Kid Who Would Be King Review

PlayerOneLeave a comment
the tagline just sounds like another day at school really

So this afternoon, I took myself to the movies and saw The Kid Who Would Be King, the next in a long line of remakes and adaptations of the King Arthur/Merlin/Morgana/Knights of the Round Table story.

I feel like I saw about zillion trailers for this movie but then I haven’t heard anything since it was released, so I truly didn’t know what to expect from it. I mean the trailer made it look cute and fantastical and I love almost anything Arthurian or whatever, but trailers can be verrry misleading.

I am happy to report that this trailer was NOT misleading (in most respects, more on that later), SO without further ado, let’s pull the plot from the stone and dive right in.

Pun game less strong, sorry about that.

so cheesy and ridiculous and also perfect

THE PLOT

The movie begins with an animated segment detailing the basic overview of the Arthurian legend for the audience’s sake. It’s a story many of us have heard before in some fashion, and it loosely covers the big points: Arthur pulled the sword from the stone as a kid, became a great king, gathered knights at a round table so they were all equal, fought Morgana, has a magic buddy named Merlin, so on and so forth (again, it’s a very basic overview and obviously cannot touch on every detail if you know the legend well. It sets up only what needs to be set up for the following story. This is likely why Guinevere was not included, among other things). It’s done in a sort of comic book-esque animation, and it’s quite lovely.

We then meet our main character Alex (Louis Ashbourne Serkis), a pretty average kid who does things like skip breakfast, leave his big homework projects to the last second the night before, and run to defend his best friend Bedders (Dean Chaumoo) from the school bullies Lance (Tom Taylor) and Kaye (Rhianna Dorris). He’s so determined to defend his friend, he actually gets into a full-out fist-fight with Lance. Later, trying to outrun Lance and Kaye after detention, Alex seeks shelter in a gated-off construction area, where he finds, you guessed it, a SWORD IN THE STONE. Well, okay, it’s a sword in a concrete block. BUT STILL.

Alex and Bedders joke about the sword being “The Real Excalibur” or not, and that night Alex is attacked at home by some kind of evil fiery underling, presumably one of Morgana’s (the wonderful Rebecca Ferguson). Around this time, Merlin (Angus Imrie) arrives and shows up at their school to watch over Alex and occasionally sneeze and turn into an owl (going by the extremely clever undercover name…”Mertin”). His cover is quickly blown when he realizes that the solar eclipse, the event that will apparently allow Morgana to escape her underground confines and enslave all of Britain, is actually in four days and NOT in four years, like he originally thought. This causes him to need to speed up the timeline a little, revealing his adult form (played by the one and only Sir Patrick Stewart) in order to convince Alex and Bedders of how dire the situation really is.

Once Alex and Bedders believe, they try to recruit Lance and Kaye to the cause around the round dining table. From there, they embark on an epic quest to train, find the truth about Alex’s father, grow as human beings, and recruit a giant army to defeat Morgana once and for all and save the world.

No pressure.

the real magic is Merlin’s never-ending neck

THE REVIEW

Listen I had a meeting this morning which means my to-do list tripled, so I picked this movie to see after because I assumed it would be lighthearted and enjoyable and I wouldn’t cry or feel too many emotions or anything, I mostly just wanted fun and escapism (this is why I’m seeing Miss Bala tomorrow instead because that’ll be anything BUT lighthearted and fun).

Beyond that, I guess I honestly wasn’t expecting much.

And listen, this movie? It’s delightful.

Is it groundbreaking in any way? Not really. Will it win any awards? Probably not. Is it a true cinematic experience that you feel in your soul? It’s not Black Panther, no.

BUT. It’s good. It really is. And it’s fun. And it’s relatively diverse. I think it would be enjoyable for kids and adults alike. It’s a great family movie.

More than anything else, it is chock-full of amazing, important, wonderful messages for kids. Kids watching this movie will come away feeling like they can do anything, and you know what? They absolutely can.

It doesn’t have incredible script-writing and heartbreaking moments like Pixar movies, it doesn’t have the budget, namesake, or even probably the staying power of your typical Disney movie, and best of all in my opinion, it does not have any pandering, stupid “kid-humor” like other aimed-at-kids movies.

Because the main cast we cheer for are all kids, and because it wants the audience to take their quest just as seriously as they do, it never for one second (except when plot-appropriate) tells the kids of the movie, or the audience, that they cannot have a heart-pounding, serious, and fun adventure story all of their own. It respects the kids in the audience just as much as the kids onscreen, and it’s extremely refreshing. You know it’s a kids’ movie just because of who the cast is and how the story goes, but not because of the jokes that can sometimes define (and ruin) a movie like this.

Again-is it groundbreaking and impressive? Not necessarily.

Is it important?

I think so.

Spoiler warning now in effect for the more detail-oriented breakdown of the review, if you’d rather watch it first and come back!

Morgana had the best theme of the entire score and you can’t change my mind

THE MUSIC

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Listen, it definitely had some good moments. The little acoustic theme that played in the beginning, and then when the characters started their journey altogether? Light and fun, loved it. The tree training battle music??? Quirky and weird and it was great. MORGANA’S EVIL MUSIC??? That was the best part tbh.

Overall, nothing about the main score really stood out to me personally. There was epic music when there needed to be (and there needed to be a lot of it) and there were sad elongated chords playing for the more poignant moments. But overall, you could put a lot of the music over footage from a separate adventure fantasy film and it wouldn’t make much of a difference. It didn’t feel like the score for Into the Spider-verse, which was so personalized and unique to that movie that it wouldn’t fit with anything else.

And maybe that wasn’t the point, and that’s fine. The main important thing is that the score didn’t detract from the film at all, and that’s crucial.

they are just babeys…poor babeys, children, pls save them

THE CHARACTERS

They are precious beans who need to be protected, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

But really, part of what makes this movie so fun is how the characters are and how they interact with one another. By the end, I loved all the kids-and it didn’t necessarily start out that way.

Bedders was probably my favorite from the beginning-he’s just so supportive and excited about everything, and his moment where he stood up to Lance and Kaye to protect Alex (where usually it’s Alex protecting Bedders) was so sweet. Plus when he learns how to do actual magic as opposed to the magic illusions he was working on, he’s SO EXCITED and it’s so precious.

Lance and Kaye never really have development apart from each other, as they generally serve the same purpose in the plot-they’re the bullies, or Alex’s enemies, who get recruited and become knights by the end. They learn to fight for something other than themselves. Lance overcomes his selfishness and Kaye…they make a big-deal about how she is “callow” which is odd because they’re kids? Aren’t they all callow?? She doesn’t necessarily have a big moment to overcome that, although she does save Bedders during a horseback incident and she drives the getaway car in that one chase scene. They’re obnoxious in the beginning, as they are meant to be, and they’re wonderful by the end.

Merlin is an absolute dork the whole way through the film. When he’s a teenager, he’s lanky and overexcited and loud and wears the most ridiculous bright yellow rain boots, and when he’s an adult, he’s quirky Patrick Stewart. He strongly believes in the kids, as he tells Morgana in a pivotal moment, and he’s really the first adult character to do so, which is refreshing.

It took me the longest to warm up to Alex as a character, and I’m still not convinced I really like him by the end necessarily. Through the first half of the film, the quest is to find his long-lost father, whom he believes knew all along that Alex was “the once and future king” based off of the way he signed a copy of the Arthurian legend for his son. However, on the quest, they find out that the book signature was actually forged by Alex’s mother, and the truth is that his dad was no hero-he was an alcoholic who left the family. This does give Alex some interesting development-as Merlin explains, Alex is not a direct descendant of the original Arthur…and he doesn’t have to be. The sword “chose” him because of who he is, not because of any family connection. So from then on, Alex just has to believe in himself because of himself, and not for any other reason. It’s a nice moral.

There is a slight problem here, however. While I fully support the message of “you can be anything no matter where you come from,” it’s still a message and a plotline that they gave to a white boy. While it’s still incredibly important for him to believe in himself, it still stands true that Alex (and Lance) will have the least amount of problems growing up simply because of who they are. They are white males, they are naturally privileged, and they will continue to be. The message of believing in yourself regardless of your background is an important one, and a beautiful one-but wouldn’t it have been that much more powerful if it had been a plotline given to a character of color?

Regardless, like I said, it’s still an important message. And almost every single kid who goes to see the movie will come away having seen themselves on screen saving the world-how cool is that?

It kind of reminds me of when the new A Wrinkle in Time came out, and many people were disappointed because it wasn’t exactly like the book-but can you imagine all the little black girls who saw that movie, and saw a girl who looked like them being told over and over again how smart she was? And not in a condescending way, either-her love interest admired her because of how smart she was.

That’s the beautiful thing about stories like this: they let kids imagine that they can be the main character just as they are. They can save the world just as they are. They can do great things just as they are. They don’t get pandered to or patronized because they are children; they are simply believed in.

this movie is also known as The Kid who GOT TO HANG OUT WITH PATRICK STEWART

THE MESSAGE

I touched on this a bit (a lot) in the characters section, but there’s another side of it.

What makes this movie worth seeing isn’t the characters, it isn’t the plot, not the score, the cinnamontography (that’s a real word I swear), its take on the Arthurian legend, or EVEN Sir Patrick Stewart (he’s still great though). What makes this movie worth seeing, I think, is the message.

Like I said in the characters section, one big message in the movie is that kids can do anything, no matter where they come from. They can stand up for themselves, they can perform seemingly impossible tasks (like pulling a sword from a stone), or they can fight off an army of demons. It’s a great message, and another message that slides into that is that friendship is an incredible power all on its own. Alex invited the two people who helped make his and his best friend’s lives’ at school miserable and gave them an opportunity to fight alongside him. I don’t think the overall point there is that you should go around offering your local bullies friendship bracelets (although hey, why not), but rather to see them not as bullies but as people. Though it was touched on only lightly, Lance and Kaye had reasons for behaving the way they were. For some reason, maybe something in their home lives, they believe initially that the world is unfair and they can’t do anything to change it, so why try? They feel like it’s completely hopeless, and moreover, they themselves feel worthless. They got that message from someone in their lives. And they acted out because of it.

Alex and Bedders saw that in them, and tried to help them see past it. And it led to a really powerful, unassuming friendship, and lots of supporting each other when all hope was lost. Also, friendship hugs!! And cuddles!!!

But in my opinion, the strongest message of all is that the kids are the future. It’s cheesy, and it sounds like a campaign slogan for PTA president, but it is the message. It comes out the clearest for me during the final battle.

Merlin confronts Morgana before she goes to face off against Alex & Co., and it’s important to note that while their initial confrontation takes place when Merlin appears to be a teenager, he changes so that this next moment happens in his adult form. These are two adults facing off now.

Morgana’s stance is that she is owed the sword, and the power, because she is the last living Pendragon. And have you seen these KIDS??? With their “TOYS” and “TRINKETS????”

“Do you really believe in them?” she asks, because she doesn’t take them seriously-she flat-out asks Merlin if he chose children because he thought she wouldn’t have the guts to do anything to them.

Merlin says that of course he believes in them. Those kids have more courage and heart than you’d believe.

“We are the past, Morgana. Those kids are the future.” Merlin, in his adult form, says to her then.

Sound like a familiar argument?

This is crucial because Morgana is embodying what every adult in the film has said, has believed, up to this point: they’re just kids. The world will not be kind to them. We can’t baby them and have them believe in fairy tales. They’ll have to earn the good things in life, it won’t just be handed to them. It certainly wasn’t handed to us!

Merlin is the one adult in the film who stands against this (sure, Alex’s mother believes her son only after he summons the Lady of the Lake in their bathtub, but you can tell she’s still coming to terms with everything). He realizes that their time is over: these kids? Their time is just beginning.

I don’t want to get in to a whole generational war, not necessarily, but the metaphor is there.

And it’s important for kids seeing this movie to see that, to see not only themselves being awesome and saving the world, but to see that yes, many adults, many people from the previous generation will not believe in them…but some will.

Kids need to see adults believing in them, because they are the future.

protect these kids 2k19

MY THEORY

One of the many things that stood out to me during the film was this sense of bluntness about everything. In the beginning when Alex is heading to school, we hear a newscaster flat-out discussing how the world is doomed because more dictator-esque and authoritarian leaders are in power than ever before. I mean sure, but jeez, that’s a little, well, blunt. Then, Alex passes by a newsstand, and every headline is something like “DOOM.” or “THE TERROR CONTINUES.” I mean there is NO subtlety.

This is followed up by almost every conversation Alex has with an adult during the movie. When he speaks with the principal after getting in a fight, the principal tells him that his actions here will affect the rest of his life, he knows that, right? The world is not kind and it’s not going to take care of him.

Okay thanks for the pep talk…

Later he’s talking with his mom who tells him that his dad would never have wanted his son to be someone who believes in fairy tails or carries swords around.

I mean I really don’t think that exact topic would have occurred to him?

Even later, when Alex meets his aunt and learns the truth about his dad, she is not gentle with him at all. She says that his dad was not a good man at all, she doesn’t even know where he is, he doesn’t love them and never did.

I mean I get it’s a fantasy movie, but YEESH.

That felt a little too far outside the confines of reality, and those were all supposed to be real conversations, no magic to be seen.

What occurs to me, however, is that all of that makes sense if you think of it from a child’s viewpoint. A child might hear discussions of some dangerous leaders in the world, and translate that into a newscast about more authoritarian leaders than ever before. A child might translate long newspaper headlines into what they really are saying: “DOOM.” “THE TERROR CONTINUES.” A child might get in trouble at school and all they’d hear from the principal is that those actions affect the rest of their lives, even though they don’t (Alex is 12-you hear stuff like that in high school and it still isn’t true). A child would hear complicated reasons for a parent leaving and assume it’s because of them, because they believe in fairy tails and stupid things like that. A child would hear that a parent left because they do not love them.

Merlin has fascinating magic all throughout the film (every time he casts a spell it’s very Syfy’s The Magicians-esque), but one of the most unique things he does is cast a spell on an adult figure to get them to do what he wants. But what I noticed more than anything is that the spell silences the adult. Once the adult is silenced and not putting the kids down anymore, they can continue with their quest.

Morgana may be the embodiment of evil and Alex’s main enemy throughout the film, but another enemy is the adults in his life not believing in him and not trusting him. He hears all of that and translates it into something else, even if it’s not the message originally intended.

At the very end, Merlin congratulates the main four kids and, most importantly, tells them exactly what it is about them as individuals that helped them win. Merlin is the first adult to see them not as children with fantasies, but as fully-fledged humans. They’re still growing up and changing, of course, but they are people, just as they are right then.

He then says to them in my favorite line of the film: “A world is defined by its leaders. And what leaders you’ll be.”

Catch me CRYIN IN THE CLUB AT 6

no the real message is give kids swords, it’ll be fine I swear (I’m lying that’s not true at all don’t give kids swords)

“OOF” MOMENT

Like I said, this movie is not, as a whole, a masterpiece by ANY means. There are some acting moments that are just…yikes.

But I mean they’re KIDS OKAY.

Still, there are some moments between Alex and Bedders when they’re talking and it’s just…they’re reading a script y’all, that’s it.

There’s also a scene early on where Alex’s mother is talking to him and they’re both in the frame but she’s not actually looking at him she’s looking just past him and I just???

Also Merlin transforms into an owl in front of the whole school to convince them to join Alex’s army and when he lands he’s all moody teenager “HOW EMBARRASSING” but like…Merlin you’ve been doing that the whole movie. Merlin you wore a too-small uniform to school to spy on Alex. Merlin you said your name was “Mertin.” MERLIN.

FAVORITE MOMENT

I’ve said a lot about this scene already and why it’s my favorite, but nothing can beat that last scene between Merlin and the kids. It’s just really heartwarming and pure.

Also, the scene where the trees are training the kids how to sword-fight? Adorable. Wonderful. 10/10 training montage.

GET IT BECAUSE HE’S A KID AND THE FINAL BATTLE IS AT SCHOOL GET IT??? GET IT???????

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

Look, this movie is not perfect. I honestly had real mixed feelings about it up until the third act. And just because I like it and pulled a ton of metaphors out of it, doesn’t mean everyone will. It’s still, at the end of the day, a kid’s movie. The stakes are never that high. It’s not Lord of the Rings (although it is referenced! Twice!!), and it’s not going to win Best Picture because everyone knows that’s going to be Black Panther. Two years in a row. This year and next. Because I say so.

The thing is, if you have kids, I think they’d love it. And if you’re worried about sitting through a mindless kid’s movie with them, I can happily assure you that you will at least probably enjoy it, at least a little bit. Or if you just wanna take yourself to a fun, hope-filled movie about the power of kids and the younger generation, I think you’ll be satisfied.

It doesn’t accomplish anything great, necessarily. But I still think it’s important.

And if you’re worried that it’ll screw up the Arthurian legend (like one review I read? The person was like…real passionate about the fact that Alex was billed as being Arthur’s descendant and that’s IMPOSSIBLE based on the legend like CHILL FAM. It was marketed that way of course because it’s a character development moment for Alex and also??? It’s a kid’s movie), well I don’t really know what to tell you. Hollywood does stuff like that all the time. You’re welcome to make your own movie, though.

The point is, for me personally, I give The Kid Who Would Be King…

3.5/5 WEIRDLY GLOWING EXCALIBURS!!!

Yeah, Excalibur glows like a flashlight, idk what to tell you.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Definitely a different caliber of trailers from what I’ve been seeing lately! We have Dumbo to start us off which…I have such mixed feelings about??? I want to like it, and it’s Tim Burton, but ughhhhh the original is one of my least favorite movies EVER. I’ll probably still see it just to check (plus like…Colin Ferrell) but I’m remaining cautious. UglyDolls is DEFINITELY on my list, okay, this is my aesthetic. I mean…UglyDolls??? Kelly Clarkson???? JANELLE MONAE????????? I’m there. Spider-man Far From Home cracks me up because I feel like at least part of Avengers:Endgame is ruined. Like I get it, but also…we’re all going into Endgame now knowing Peter’s gonna be okay. The real question is…WILL SHURI BE OKAY???? A Dog’s Journey is the continuation of A Dog’s Purpose from a couple years ago, and yeah I love crying about reincarnated dogs, give it to me. WonderPark looks like it could be really good…oooorrrr really meh. We’ll see. I don’t really have any feelings about Dark Phoenix because I haven’t really been following the X-Men movies at all, but I might watch them to catch up. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part is a given since the first one is one of my favorites, and I hope the sequel does it justice. I have my doubts, since we all saw Lego Batman and Ninjago (or maybe we didn’t). Finally, Breakthrough looks…interesting? I want to look up the true story it’s based on, and there’s a good chance it’ll be REAL preachy. But maybe not. Plus, Chrissy Metz!! Making us cry about something other than This is Us this time! Also, Mike Colter!! It’ll be fun to see him as someone other than Luke Cage.

And that does it for this review! If you want a decent, fun, heartfelt movie to give you some escapism and a good time, I recommend you take yourself to the movies to see The Kid Who Would Be King.