Guillermo del Toro and Jordan Peele own my soul and tbh, I’m completely fine with that.

So now that it’s November and almost Thanksgiving, it’s time to finally talk about spooky things!!

So…a while ago, idk, I took myself to the movies (because all my friends are WIMPS jk I love them) and saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

Like many others, I have fond, fond sleepover memories of staying up late to read from the classic books and then not sleeping at all because…well, yeah. Those drawings alone were nightmare fuel for WEEKS.

So I was already excited when the trailer first dropped for this movie, but then I learned that Guillermo del Toro was involved??? And all of the monsters were being done with practical effects and costumes and makeup and very little CG???? Ahhhhhhhh??????????

So I was like, mildly excited I guess.

I actually did some research before going to see this, mostly to watch how the actors were fitted into their monster costumes so I wasn’t completely horrified when I saw it in the theatre. I was still mildly horrified, but it helped to know that there was a contortionist in there somewhere instead of just an actual monster. I think.

THE PLOT

It’s Halloween in a small town, which means all the best and worst stuff happens. We follow a ragtag group of misfit kids–Stella, Ramón, Auggie, and Chuck (eventually joined by Chuck’s older sister Ruth) as they prank local jerk boy Tommy and manage to escape, hiding out in a haunted house, of course. The legend of the house surrounds a girl named Sarah Bellows, who apparently wrote scary stories in blood in order to punish those who wronged her or made fun of her or were basically just rude (and then the stories became REEEEEAAAAAAL).

Naturally, because Stella is an aspiring writer and lover of scary stories, she takes Sarah’s legendary book with her when they leave the house. It’s all fine and dandy until Stella notices that new stories are appearing…and they’re about people she knows.

What follows is a race against time as Stella works to solve the mystery of what was really going on with Sarah Bellows and her family before Sarah steals everyone Stella loves and turns them into nothing more than various scary stories to tell in the dark.

THE REVIEW

I can very happily and very seriously say that I genuinely loved this movie. It felt like all my favorite parts of Stranger Things, IT, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Goosebumps, Until Dawn, and The Final Girls combined. There’s just something about kids banding together to work out why creepy things are happening and to hopefully save everyone they can. I think it’s one reason why I like YA dystopian novels so much–nothing proves quite so well how powerful young people are than showing them facing off against the impossible and winning.

I’ve seen some mixed reviews for this film, and I get it. I think if you’re unfamiliar with the source material books, you don’t have quite the same experience watching it. I mean the first time they showed the scarecrow? I instantly knew how many people in the theater had read the books because of that reaction alone. That’s the first monster we see, and it’s literally like they ripped him right off the page and stuck him on the screen.

It’s absolutely horrifying and completely amazing.

I’ve also seen some complaints about the ending (we’ll get to that) and the political commentary (we’ll get to that as well). All valid points, I understand, but also like…y’all did you SEE the Pale Lady??? How can you complain about anything ever again after seeing her????? She’s precious????????

But I digress.

I loved this movie. I really did. So what about it specifically made me enjoy it so much?

(I also introduced the idea in my The Lion King 2019 REVIEW that a good category for some movies is simply “a damn good time” and I think I’d also argue that this one falls in that category as well–I think there’s a little more to be said for this one, and I think you can pull much more from it, but I also understand why someone wouldn’t necessarily be wild about it. I don’t get it personally, but I understand)

THE CHARACTERS

All of these kids are precious beans and I love them with all my heart. Protect them!!!

Stella is a delightful protagonist. Can we talk about how she wears glasses?? And how she wears glasses the entire time??? She’s a romantic interest and a leading lady with GLASSES????? And the detail in the final confrontation where she lost her glasses and we saw how everything was frustratingly blurry through her eyes and you had no idea where or what the ghost was because of that???????? AHHHHHHHHH?????

I started to write a separate blurb for each of the kids and realized I was just saying the same thing. Ramón? Precious bean. Protect him. Auggie? Precious bean. Protect him. Chuck? Precious bean. Protect him. Ruth? Precious bean. Protect her.

That’s not to say that I don’t feel like each of the kids wasn’t a good separate character. They each clearly had their things–Auggie is a tall bean who was initially more of a scaredy-cat (also, he should really stop eating toes), Chuck was more of a prankster before his initial haunted house encounter and then I just…protect him, Ruth was a little more obsessed with being the popular, cool girl (but then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked–I MEAN when her brother disappeared) and Ramón….IS PRECIOUS AND AMAZING AND SO STRONG FOR A KID AND PLEASE DON’T MAKE HIM GO TO VIETNAM, PLEASE.

…I’m fine. This is fine.

The other characters I generally enjoyed as well. We’ll get more into Sarah Bellows when we discuss that horrific haunted house scene with Stella, but I generally felt like I liked and cared for all of the characters, and I wanted them to be okay.

Except for Tommy. I mean maybe he didn’t deserve getting all scarecrowed, but he was the worst.

THE MUSIC

The MUSIC. FAIR TOWNSPEOPLE, THE MUSIC.

The full score album is finally showing up on Spotify, and it looks like everything was composed by Marco Beltrami and Anna Drubich, and it’s AMAZING.

There’s a delightfully eerie music box theme that plays primarily where Sarah Bellows herself is concerned, and it’s GREAT. The first track in the soundtrack plays a lot of that theme, and then it transforms into this whimsical extravaganza that reminds me a lot of something Danny Elfman would write.

Of course, the music also involves some non-score songs, most notably two different versions of “Season of the Witch” which is FANTASTIC.

I mean…not to be that person that just says over and over that it’s GREAT but like…genuinely…it’s so good, y’all. Please look it up and enjoy it for yourself. Listen to it while you read the rest of this review!

THE MONSTERS

BRUH. THE MONSTERS.

Like I mentioned earlier, I watch a little “behind-the-scenes” clip that showed the various actors getting into costume for the monsters, so I was semi-prepared, but WOW. Seeing them on the big screen? Delightful. Horrifying, but delightful.

I think part of it was just my prior experiences with the books, but oh wow, I felt like a kid again watching those monsters come to life. So much love and attention went into each and every creature, and the setting that surrounded them, and the story they came from, it was almost like a different episode of a show when each monster arrived because the tone would change so much.

Each monster was delightfully unique even in the ways they moved (part of which I’m sure was just the costumes, but oh wow did it really add to things). I just…like I can’t even pick a favorite because they were all so delightful in different ways.

…okay, delightful may be a weird way to describe them, but the work that went into them just…AHHHHHH.

Anyway. In my opinion, the monsters were incredible. In some ways I feel like Sarah Bellows herself was the least scary monster–which I actually think is appropriate, considering her backstory.

Speaking of…

THE REAL MONSTERS

Just like our favorite cartoon involving a bunch of kids solving mysteries and a talking dog, the real monster was the awful side of humanity all along. Whether it was Sarah’s absolutely horrendous family, Resident Mean Kid Tommy and his goon gang, or just the charming reality that was the Vietnam War and the draft, the scariest and saddest parts of the film were the actions taken by the human characters. Sure, the toeless corpse dragged Auggie into the void under his bed. And yeah, the Pale Lady hugged Chuck into…oblivion, and sure, Tommy got turned into a scarecrow.

But you go into it knowing all of that is fake. You know they’re just what the title announces–scary stories to tell in the dark. But the Vietnam War? That was real. The racism that fuels Tommy and his friends to bully Ramón and anyone who interacts with him? That is real. Even Sarah Bellows, a fictional character, was inspired by true stories of her time, and we’re forced to experience it as if it was real because we see her story through Stella’s eyes.

Stella is a character we have been with from the very beginning of the film, so we are, in essence, forced to relate to her and feel for her. Sure, she makes a really, really poor choice by taking the haunted book in the first place. She spends the rest of the film desperately trying to make up for it, and every time she loses someone, we feel that, too. We want her to make it out if only because by the end, she’s lost almost everything. So when she gets transported to an alternate reality where she has to experience life as Sarah Bellows, we feel it that much more. The way she gets treated as Sarah is jarring because we know it’s a real experience for some kids–getting dragged off screaming, her hair pulled out as she’s ripped away from safety, tossed into a cold, dark room to rot…and all because she wanted to tell the horrible truth of what her family was really doing to get their money.

I think it’s important to note another crucial difference between the supernatural monsters like the Jangly Man and the Pale Lady and the human ones:

It is heavily implied that the supernatural monsters do not kill anyone. As noted at the end of the film, Stella is going on a quest to find Auggie and Chuck and bring them back because they’re still out there somewhere. They’re alive, despite their direct contact with the various beasts. “But what about Tommy?” I hear your skeptical brain saying, “doesn’t he get turned into a scarecrow?” Yep. He sure does. And you could definitely make the argument that if he is dead, he kinda deserves it because wow, what a horrible person. But really, we don’t know if he’s alive or dead. He looks just like the scarecrow who turned him. Maybe he is still alive. Maybe he isn’t. The film doesn’t explicitly say.

The human monsters, on the other hand? They do kill. Sarah’s horrendous family are directly responsible for her death. The Vietnam War? Yeah. That goes without saying.

I find it endlessly fascinating that the fates of the various boys throughout the film serve as a metaphor for what happened during the Vietnam War–children going missing all over the place, and sometimes, maybe it felt like nobody cared.

Perhaps the saddest thing that all this implies is that while Auggie, Chuck, and maybe even Tommy are somehow alive and well (okay, maybe not “well”), Ramón is the only character we see go off to war.

Despite facing the Jangly Man and winning, he still ends up going to war. And because of what we know of history, it’s safe to say that Ramón may be the only character actually in danger of dying. The Vietnam War wasn’t some supernatural beast you could write off in a magical book. Despite everything, and despite Stella’s best wishes and hopes, it’s likely he’ll die.

That’s the true horror of this scary movie. And maybe that’s why it’s received less-than-favorable reviews–it forces you to think about the violence you’re facing and maybe even enjoying onscreen by making you really think about a real-life horrific event. We don’t want to think about all that when we go see a scary movie, we just want to think about jumpscares and fake characters who won’t last and dorky monsters and so-so special effects! No reality for us, thanks!

It’s kind of sad, honestly. And it’s a shame that potential, true works of art like Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark are suffering for it because critics would rather rave about “Tony Stark’s incredible sacrifice, and why are all the feminists complaining again when there was an entire like 30 seconds of just the female superheroes onscreen doing absolutely nothing but damn did it look cool?” Or “this movie about a robot girl treated her like an object the entire time and then just proved its point about women even more by having her literally refuse to feel things ever again because oh god no her boyfriend died like seven times but wow was it pretty” *cough*ALITABATTLEANGEL*cough*.

We don’t want to like movies, books, or any type of entertainment where we see ourselves reflected in the monsters. But it’s only when we do that that we’re able to grow and change and prevent senseless things like the Vietnam War from happening ever again. We can save Ramón–we just keep choosing not to.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE THIS MOVIE?

Despite your personal problems with the film (which I’ve seen range from “it wasn’t scary enough!” To “they shouldn’t have tried so obviously to set it up for a sequel” to “I didn’t get it”), you have to admit that what was attempted was a beautiful, intricate, interwoven plot that tried to blur the lines between the fake monsters and the real ones. It tried to be more than just a typical scary movie full of jumpscares, fake effects, and a plot that makes no sense (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, PET SEMATARY). Now, maybe for you, it didn’t read quite right. Maybe it didn’t work. That’s totally fine and understandable, because it’s going to be a different experience for everyone. For me, it read really, really well. The parallels between today’s political environment and that of the time around the Vietnam War was jarring and impressive, and I appreciated them. Maybe you didn’t.

When I started this review, I was of the mindset of “yeah, I really loved it, but I can see how it wouldn’t be for everyone.” I’m still of that mindset, but it’s nevertheless frustrating when a movie you really enjoyed gets written off so easily. And maybe some people feel that way when I constantly make fun of Alita: Battle Angel. That’s fair.

I think what I would say is that if you’re someone who normally decides what to see based off what the mainstream critics say, maybe don’t this time. Now, if you know about yourself that you don’t like scary things? That’s something else. You do you, boo. But if this was one that maybe you were excited about and then the reviews came out and you kinda went “oh…never mind, I guess…” I would ask you to give it a chance. It’s lovely, in an eerie, creepy sort of way.

Overall, I give Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark…

4.5/5 HAUNTED STORYBOOKS WRITTEN IN BLOOD!!!

Because of COURSE they’re written in blood.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Will I ever be over Ramón and Stella fighting to get back to each other in the same house but trapped in different dimensions/times? No.

“OOF” MOMENT

Listen. That stupid pimple story that is actually spiders? The worst thing ever. The moment where she pulls on it and a gazillion spiders swarm out of her face? -27/10, do NOT recommend.

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Have I already talked about IT: Chapter Two? If not, here it is: I won’t be seeing it. In concept I’m all about creepy shapeshifters and kids fighting them off with friendship or something, but hey how about that slaughter of gay people in the opening scene??? Yeah???? Yeah??????? No.

When the trailer for Knives Out first started, I genuinely thought they’d finally made a good movie of my favorite book. Alas, that was incorrect, but it looks cool nonetheless and I’m interested. Unless I missed it. Did I miss it? Probably.

Black and Blue looks absolutely fascinating. Not a relaxing outing to the movies by any means, but maybe a really important one.

Don’t Let Go looks like the kind of supernatural-ish thriller that will make me sob. There are GHOSTS. Or maybe it’s just time travel. Anyway, what a fascinating concept–I hope it’s good!!

That about does it for this review!! Please consider giving Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark a chance–it truly is a beautiful and rather poignant scary story (if you are worried about the scare factor, I would say if you like Stranger Things, you’ll definitely like this film–I’d rate them about the same on the Scare Scale. I don’t actually have a Scare Scale but it sounds cool).