Month: January 2019

Glass Review

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I really love everything about this poster especially because it tells you absolutely nothing about the movie, you think you know what’s going to happen?? YOU’RE WRONG

So yesterday, I took myself to the movies and saw Glass, M. Night Shyamalamalan’s (spelling?) latest mind-bending WHAT-IS-HAPPENING movie and also the sequel to both 2000’s Unbreakable and 2016’s Split.

Now when I saw Split, the big twist ending (shoving Bruce Willis in there to reveal that Split and Unbreakable are in the same cinematic universe, the Shyamaverse?) was kind of lost on me as I never saw Unbreakable. I loved Split, however, so I caught up and learned as much as I could about both films and their respective universes to prepare for Glass.

I still don’t think I was prepared enough. I mean what is it with movies this year and saying “oh?? you want a twist? Okay yeah. OH WHAT’S THAT?? MORE TWISTS????? OH LOOK HERE’S ANOTHER ONE!!!! TWISTS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!”

That’s not a bad thing either!! At least I don’t think so. A good twist (or seventeen) really makes you think AND makes you want to watch the film again to look for clues you missed. It’s diabolical really.

So without further ado, let’s break open this “comic book” movie and shatter everything you thought you knew about this universe.

Pun game still strong.

They put Sarah Paulson in this dramatic white raincoat so it would give you the illusion of everything being fine, guys, Sarah Paulson the angel is here

THE PLOT

We begin approximately three-ish weeks after the events of Split, but that’s not the important timeline detail for you to remember: just as Glass is coming out 19 years after Unbreakable, this movie’s events take place 19 years after Unbreakable’s events. While this INCREDIBLY cool music plays, we go back and forth between following David Dunn (Bruce Willis) in his trademark rain poncho and Kevin Wendell Crumb (James McAvoy) in his…kidnap factory. The usual. David is in a bit of a vigilante routine at this point (his cover is “I’m taking a walk”) but we see he’s in headphone contact with his son, Joseph Dunn (Spencer Treat Clark), while he walks. After taking down two punks who contributed nothing to the plot or society, we learn that Dunn & Son are trying to track down the person/persons responsible for all the kidnapped girls recently. David runs into Hedwig (one of Crumb’s personalities) on the street and gets a vision of the latest group of girls, leading David to track down the factory where the girls are being kept alone, despite his son’s wishes. David manages to free the girls, but he runs into The Beast (another Crumb personality) and the two have an eeeepic battle in the factory. It does lead to one of the girls being whacked by a table (although I guess all she gets is a broken arm?? They try to use this against David later but like if he hadn’t done anything she’d be Beast food????) and both David and The Beast breaking through a window to fall to the ground below, where suddenly somehow there are police cars and guys with guns surrounding them and Sarah Paulson telling everyone not to shoot. Through the headphone microphone, Joseph hears where they are taking his father and Crumb and he learns it’s a psychiatric facility.

Finally there we see Samuel L. Jackson’s Elijah Price (or as we better know him, Mr. Glass). Sarah Paulson plays Dr. Ellie Staple, and her job is to convince our three misfits that they actually have a very specific disorder that causes them to BELIEVE they are superhuman, when in actuality, they’re not, just normal people who are a little broken (GET IT??? IT’S CALLED GLASS???? SYMBOLISM!!).

The rest of the movie is a test on both the characters and the audience as everyone is forced to review what they know about these characters and if it is, in fact, all a lie, and what they’re going to do about it.

Bruce Willis just looked completely done the entire movie and honestly what a 2019 mood

THE REVIEW

Generally, Glass appears to be getting mixed reviews. There are people who loved Unbreakable and didn’t like Split so they don’t know what to make of this movie, there are people who loved both and had their own ideas for this movie and then were collectively disappointed and miffed when those ideas didn’t happen, there are people who hate the entire film but are still in awe of James McAvoy’s incredible, INCREDIBLE acting and his ability to flip from one character to an entirely different one in a matter of seconds. For me personally? I really, really loved it. And I love it more the more I think about it (as we discussed with Escape Room, my favorite movies are ones that make me think about them afterwards!). I thought it was frustrating and poignant in powerful ways, and heartfelt when it needed to be. We’ll get to the characters later, but it was incredible to feel myself questioning why I was rooting for the “bad guys.” Were they really the bad guys in the end? I was questioning everything the whole way through and I LOVED IT.

Every detail felt carefully placed, from the music to the color to the camerawork. It was a distressing ending on one hand but an empowering ending on the other. It was funny when it needed to be, heartbreaking when it needed to be, suspenseful when it needed to be, and made me want to punch Sarah Paulson in the face. And I love Sarah Paulson!

Okay, time to go into further details so SPOILER WARNING if you haven’t seen the movie yet!! And this is a Shyamalan film, so you know there’s a twist. Or, like I said earlier, a whole lot of twists. If you’re on the fence about the movie but you liked Split or Unbreakable and generally like Shyamalan films or this sounds like something you’d enjoy, I recommend seeing it first before reading further. If the details don’t bother you and you’re okay being spoiled before you see it, read on!

*insert mandatory “I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative” joke*

THE MUSIC

YOU GUYS. THE MUSIC. THE MUSIC!!!

Ohhhhhh MAN the music was great! It was so strange and anxiety-inducing when appropriate, and then it would switch and suddenly be really heartfelt and sad and you were sitting there like “whY aM I cRYinG??” Apparently the composer, West Dylan Thordson (also composer for Split) also mixed in some key themes from Unbreakable so it fully was a cinematic universe down to even the music?? I just. UGH. I can’t say enough about it. Even the track titles fill me with emotion (I mean, “Kevin & Casey”?? REALLY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS.)

Notable music moments include the opening track with the montage and anxiety and opening credits flitting all over the screen, it was an experience, the moment when David is slumped over in his room remembering moments from Unbreakable but questioning his powers, the big parking lot showdown, and of course that entire finale piece. And again, the finale piece is called “Origin Story” which is like oh, look, I’m crying again.

why would you do this, Sarah, WHYYYY

THE CHARACTERS

Absolutely one of my favorite elements of this movie and this TRILOGY have been the characters. Mr. Glass and David are PERFECT foils to each other, and the way that Kevin is revealed to be connected to them both is just heartbreaking. None of them are perfect by any means, of course: Elijah is a genius mass murderer, Kevin is a broken kidnapper/cannibal (does it count as cannibalism if it’s The Beast personality?), and even David is weak, quick to believe Ellie, and often acts without thinking (okay not as bad as the other two BUT the point is none of them are perfect superheroes, okay). All the characters are tied into the overall symbolism of the film: when you look at them through lenses (Mr. Glass as the genius evil mastermind, Kevin as his beastly underling, David as the superhero, Ellie as the caring, reality-driven psychiatrist, Joseph as the starstruck little boy, Casey as the battered final girl, and Mrs. Price as the mother of a mistake), you do not and cannot get the full picture. Elijah has only ever wanted a body that could keep up with his intellect, and if you were in his situation, wouldn’t you? Kevin’s personalities developed as a way to protect him from his incredibly abusive mother. David has massive survivor’s guilt both because of the train incident AND his wife is dead now too. Ellie is blinded by her belief that what she’s doing is right. Joseph never saw his father as JUST a superhero but as a whole person. Casey put her uncle behind bars and genuinely cares for Kevin as a kindred spirit; she is not happy about outliving him, or about him being caught initially in the first place. She is not hiding her scars from the world anymore! Mrs. Price loves Elijah and believes he is capable of good, but the world was not good to him.

There are so many sides to every character, not just Kevin with his multiple personalities. You initially want to feel one way about them because of how they’re presented, but as the movie goes on, you realize you can’t do that. These are not two-dimensional characters on a screen, these are whole, broken people in awful situations, and aren’t we all? We cannot dehumanize any of them. Even Ellie, after the horrid reveal, breaks down in a hallway and screams, showing she is not as perfectly put together as she seems. She’s scared, and angry, and human.

I could go on forever, I really could. But really, hats off to Shyamalan for characters that are so well-developed. You want them to do well, and it breaks you when they don’t. When they can’t.

After you see the movie, seeing this room just makes you cry all over again

THE ART

I have to talk about the scenery, costumes, and general design all in one category because it all connects together and tbh visually this film is absolutely a work of art.

One of my favorite elements of The Sixth Sense is the use of color, and in that film, it was the bright red seen throughout that gave clues. Color plays an equally important role in this film, and it goes from bright, to muted, to bright again, and then finally to just what I would call rich. It mirrors the mental and emotional state of our characters, it gives visual cues, it sets up Ellie as a sweet, caring pastel individual when really she is full of evil, so on and so forth.

Every character, as seen in the shot above, has a specific color that is kind of theirs. It was also used in another theatrical poster for the film. Elijah’s color being purple is something that carried over from Unbreakable; it’s a color of royalty and power. Kevin’s color is kind of a mustard yellow, and it’s very reminiscent of Split, with the sickly lighting of the zoo facility and the bright fall leaves of Casey’s hunting memories. David’s color is interestingly enough a sort of teal, which mixes both the idea of blue being both a “hero” and “good” color psychologically to the fact that his weakness is water. He’s constantly surrounded by the very thing that haunts him.

IT’S JUST

Ellie’s color is a pastel pink, although she really just keeps a pastel color palette throughout the film (when she’s not wearing stark white). It makes her seem gentle and like she truly wants the best for our three misfits, which makes it all the more frustrating when she seems to be torturing them instead and then oh, wait, yeah no she’s completely evil. Great.

Though the use of color is the most obvious artistic aspect to the film, the camerawork is also incredible. There are multiple scenes where the camera takes the viewpoint of Mr. Glass, so we see everything from his point of view (sometimes even tilted slightly since his head seems to be permanently flopped over when he’s sedated). There’s a moment where Joseph storms out of the hospital and the camera follows him, flipping upside-down and around to show Joseph’s mental state-is everything he knows, everything he so strongly believes in, really a lie?

There are extreme closeups, reflections, a strong emphasis on the visual of shattered glass, again, I could go on and on and on and on, and I still probably wouldn’t catch everything.

This is why I love watching The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Split multiple times-it’s a layered cinematic experience, and you catch something new every single time. I will absolutely be adding Glass to this list (even though that will mean crying a lot more).

Pictured: three wholesome beans who need protection from this world

THE TWIST(S)

Because it ain’t a Shyamalan movie if there ain’t a TWIST.

Or like 12 billion.

I guess the initial twist is that Elijah has been switching his medication and only pretending to be sedated, but that’s an early-on reveal and COME ON, did any of us really think he was letting them sedate him??? It’s Mr. Glass, y’all. Let’s be real. (“let’s be real” she says about…a movie character who is fictional).

There’s an interesting semi-twist where the audience, just like the characters, may be starting to believe that there truly is nothing supernatural about them-they’re just normal, if broken. It’s sad, man, but fear not-they actually ARE superhumans! The Beast IS real, Elijah IS a genius, and David really IS unbreakable. Hoorah!

The next twist serves to further connect all three characters: Kevin’s father, who was Kevin’s role model, and who left Kevin alone with his mother with no explanation which meant ~time for multiple personalities and lots of abuse~, actually DIED. And not only that, he was ON THE SAME TRAIN DAVID DUNN WAS ON IN UNBREAKABLE.

Mr. Glass, like he says in the film, created both Kevin as The Beast and David as the superhero.

WhaaaAAAAAAAAAAT!

And now you’re thinking cool! So that’s how they’re all connected, and how they’ve been all connected! Where can we go from here? Will they show the world they exist?? HOW EPIC WILL IT BE???

aaaaaaaand then they’re dead.

No.

Really.

Kevin starts us off by revenge-crushing Mr. Glass’s shoulder and punching him in the ribs. He then falls out of his chair, unable to hold himself up, and with each impact you hear his bones breaking (GET IT BECAUSE THE MOVIE IS CALLED GLASS??? GET IT????). He crawls over to his mother, who sits with him while he coughs up blood, I’m assuming from his ribs breaking and puncturing various organs. It’s…yeah.

Kevin still wants to fight David, but Casey gets to Kevin and manages to talk The Beast down. YEAH. She hugs him and asks Kevin to “stay in the light with her for a little while” (CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB). The Beast becomes Kevin, and just when you think everything’s fine, Casey notices a red laser light on her shoulder, and when she turns to look, the light is now on Kevin, and he gets shot. The shooter, we see, has some kind of black clover tattoo on the inside of his wrist. Kevin collapses in Casey’s arms, various personalities say goodbye to her or talk about pain (Hedwig in particular asks Casey to make the pain stop and you hear that sound? That’s my heart breaking). Finally, Kevin comes back into the light and says he’ll stay in the light till the end. He dies in Casey’s arms.

David is pulled aside by a group of masked awful terrible people who start holding his head down in a pothole of water. Ellie comes up and asks David to take her hand, where he gets a vision of her in a creepy dining room with other creepy evil people. She says that in the comic books there’s always some evil organization trying to stop everyone-but they’re not like that. They’re not evil. They’re just right. This means that the ENTIRE DAMN TIME she was being sweet to them and gently trying to convince them they have a disorder, she KNEW that they actually WERE SUPERHUMAN and she was just TORTURING THEM. David notices that Ellie also has the black clover tattoo. Ellie walks away and the masked people finish drowning David. We later see Joseph, who was separated from his dad, running to his dad’s body and sobbing.

We cut back one last time to Elijah, talking with his mother. It was a little hard to make out, but Elijah and his mom are discussing his life being a limited release, and she doesn’t know how it ends because he never told her. Elijah simply says that no, this was never a limited release…it was an origin story.

So that’s it, right? Our three misfits are dead, and the supervillain got away with EVERYTHING.

Except NOPE.

WE AIN’T DONE YET.

Ellie goes back to her secret black clover tattoo society of evil declaring that everything is fine, and she’ll move on to the next city and do the same thing all over again. The entire movie, our three misfits have been questioning “why are we the only ones??” and now we know why-there have been more, there are more, Ellie’s just finishing them off. Before she leaves, Ellie stops in a comic book store (perhaps to gloat?) and overhears some comics fans discussing the mastermind trope. They say that the mastermind always has a real plan behind a fake one-and no one sees it coming.

Ellie realizes that there may be something to this, so she goes back to the hospital to make sure that all security footage of the misfits has been erased. The guy working there says yeah for sure, except oh NO Mr. Glass is a genius you FOOLS. Mr. Glass downloaded the security footage along with a monologue of sorts and sent it to his mother, who (I’m assuming) sends it to both Joseph and Casey. The three meet up and sit together in a train station (BECAUSE TRAINS!!! UNBREAKABLE!!!) and watch as the footage goes viral. The superhuman truth is out there now-people know they exist.

And other superhumans may realize they’re not alone.

Ellie realizes that this was Mr. Glass’s plan all along. It’s interesting to note that during the final battle, Glass refers to Casey, Joseph, and Mrs. Price as “the main characters’ entrance” when they arrive. Because remember, it’s not a limited edition-it’s an origin story.

cAtcH mE CRyiNg iN tHE CLuB

“OOF” MOMENT

The only real “awkward” scene for me (there is an unfortunate lack of crazy dance scene from Hedwig, although he has a rollerskating scene) is in the beginning when Ellie and her soldiers interrupt The Beast’s and David’s fight. How…did they find them?? How did they get set up to surround them so perfectly??? I just…what?

The entire ending death montage is absolutely heartbreaking and I hate it, but the other real gutting moment is after that meeting in the pink room when Ellie got into their heads and we see David just crouched in a corner of his room all broken and sad and doubting and I just Bruce Willis looks so old and sad here I just please give the man a hug please.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Honestly there are so many good ones, but one that totally stands out is the first time Casey comes to visit and she talks with the various personalities and we see that her touch is incredibly healing to Kevin and that’s also when she says she put her uncle behind bars for what he did to her and just YES GIRL. YES.

Also the scene where Ellie realizes she’s lost is INCREDIBLY satisfying.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

If you read this and think it sounds interesting, if you like Shyamalan movies, if you like pretty movies, if you like movies with an uplifting ending after all hope seems lost, if you like the actors, or if you just wanna marvel at James McAvoy’s incredible work with every one of his characters, I say go for it and take yourself to this movie! If this doesn’t sound like it’s something you’d enjoy, I don’t think it’s a movie you need to see. I think it’s a great movie and I really, really enjoyed it, but I also think it’s not necessarily for everyone! But in general, I give this movie:

4.5/5 COLOR-CODED SHARDS OF GLASS!

Yes everyone meet our new rating system! It’ll change depending on the movie, of course. If it’s a movie I think EVERYONE should see regardless of it being your cup of tea or not, I’ll give it that coveted 5/5 somethings.

This movie didn’t quite make it there, but I still think it’s quite good and I recommend giving it a try! You’ll cry a lot. And laugh a little! And want to punch Sarah Paulson.

(I still love her)

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

We had a couple repeats (Pet Sematary, Miss Bala, and Happy Death Day 2 U) which we’ve discussed already, but we got some new ones to look out for! The Best of Enemies looks amazing, it’ll definitely be an emotional rollercoaster, but like an important one. Plus we know overall how it ends because of history, so the ending can’t be too sad hopefully please I have no more tears. Fighting with My Family actually…looks really good??? I was so skeptical because the poster made it look just weird and like another The Rock flick filled with explosions and bad CGI, BUT this looks surprisingly heartfelt and funny and like…good?? Us looks AMAZING. It was so fun to see the trailer on the bigscreen for the first time! I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m TERRIFIED and that movie will give me nightmares for YEARS probably, but I’m hoping Jordan Peele can give us another social thriller filled with great characters and things to make you THINK. And also lots of jumpscares probably which like not my favorite, but I’ll try it for Jordan Peele. The one trailer that made me just flat out say NOPE was The Curse of La Llorona. It has the potential I’m sure to be a fascinating urban legend-based horror, but that was the MOST ANXIETY-INDUCING TRAILER IN THE WORLD THAT IS EVERY CHILD’S WORST NIGHTMARE PLEASE GET THEM OUT OF THAT CAR. PLEASE.

And that about does it for this review of Glass! I’m sure I’ll find more and more I love or maybe even dislike about it as time goes on, but I’ll say it again, if this sounds like something you’d enjoy, might even like, or you just wanna see James McAvoy play 20+ characters and switch between them in an instant, I recommend taking yourself to the movies to see Glass!

Escape Room (2019) Review

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Despite the poster, there is a surprising lack of jigsaw puzzles in this movie. Or skeletons, actually.

So this morning, I took myself to the movies and saw Escape Room, which I’ve been curious about since the trailers were released. I love the idea of escape rooms, I’ve played through The Room and all its sequels multiple times, give me some good ol’ puzzle solving and I am SO there! While I was expecting some scares, I was hoping there wouldn’t be anything too gruesome since it does carry a PG-13 rating. Hopefully there would be more clever atmospheric scares than gory death scenes, and I was right!

(Fun fact: did you know that there were two movies that came out in 2017 also called Escape Room? I didn’t until I was trying to find pictures for this movie! Apparently, those two movies are…not great, though I can’t personally vouch for them.)

THE PLOT

Escape Room starts off in, funnily enough, an escape room! It initially looks like a lavishly decorated living room, and all is calm until Logan Miller drops through the ceiling. He’s limping, beat-up, and in full-on panic mode as he hobbles to a complicated looking number-maze-lock thing on the door. He realizes that he needs four numbers, but as soon as he pulls on the 1, the wall opposite him starts closing in. Great. We’re right there with him as he struggles to look for clues to find the four numbers needed as more and more of the beautiful room gets destroyed and crushed behind him. He finds the four numbers needed, so he thinks, but they don’t work, and we watch as he slowly gets crushed…..

…..and then we flashback to three days prior. Here we meet three of our main characters, Zoey (played by Taylor Russell), Jason (played by Jay Ellis), and of course, Ben (played by Logan Miller). Please note that Ben seems slightly more put together here, as in, he’s not being crushed in an escape room…yet. These three characters are vastly different from each other, and they each receive a mysterious puzzle box from someone they know. The puzzle box leads them to Minos Escape Rooms with the promise of ~fabulous cash prizes~ if they can solve the unsolvable escape room. It is here we meet our other three main cast members: Danny (played by Nik Dodani), Mike (played by Tyler Labine), and Amanda (played by Deborah Ann Woll). After Ben presumably breaks the doorknob in the waiting room, the six unfortunates discover that the waiting room IS the escape room, and the game has begun. The rest of the movie is, you guessed it, an escape room! We learn throughout the rest of the film more about the characters and why they were chosen for this deadly game through eerily specific details in all the rooms, and also, who sent them here in the first place?

There’s a lot of really morbid puzzle-solving. Like, a lot.

it’s like if the Annabelle doll grew up and started working for escape rooms

THE REVIEW

This movie is really, really fun. That feels wrong to say about a “psychological horror-thriller,” but I swear it is fun. In my opinion, the movie does a fascinating job of revealing minor character details throughout without dropping the big twist until the right moment. I love things like this where you feel like you have to pay attention to every detail otherwise you’ll miss something and honestly maybe you should watch it again to really get everything?? I live for stuff like that. It was distressing because of what was happening and exhilarating when something finally went right. I really enjoyed it as a whole, and I think my opinion of the movie got even better the more I thought about it afterwards. Those are my favorite kinds of films-the ones that make you think about them afterwards.

Now it’s time to escape into the next room of this review, (I dunno if I’ll be able to keep up the pun game for every review, fam) so Spoiler Warning now in effect, and I really recommend for this movie that you see it first completely blind to any spoilers or major plot details!

this room? This room right here?? This is the worst room, hands down

THE MUSIC

The music for this film was really unique when I noticed it, and it’s one reason I want to watch it again, because I’m sure there were notable music moments I missed. The score really set the stage for uneasiness and suspense, and it reminded me of the music played in every movie where someone’s trying to hack into a computer under a time limit. You know the one. Notable music moments include the opening song that sets the room we see Ben fall into, the song that plays during the montage of Ben, Jason, and Zoey trying to solve their puzzle boxes, the end credits music, and of course, that AWFUL distorted rendition of Petula Clark’s “Downtown” that plays as a timer in the upside-down Pool Room, pictured above. Bad room. Worst room. Hate it.

Zoey is all that is pure and good in the universe

THE CHARACTERS

Overall, there were a lot of likable characters in Escape Room, which is kind of unfortunate because many of them don’t, well, escape. All the characters were unique, and I appreciated how each of them had different reactions to the stressors in each room, according to their character. Zoey is my absolute favorite, she was a delight to watch the entire film, and I so appreciated her being the absolute brainiac of the group. More genius WOC roles in movies, please!! There was also a great character arc for Ben, which I really, really enjoyed, and there was a lot of heart given to both Mike and Amanda as well. Unfortunately, Danny isn’t around long enough to really be developed, and Jason turns out to be a survivalist asshole with quite a superiority complex. But generally, you felt for all the characters, and you wanted to see them escape, which meant that their death scenes generally hit you just as hard as they hit the survivors. Danny’s death is a shocker for all of them, especially Ben, and the way Amanda’s death hits Zoey is heartbreaking to watch but it puts Zoey into hardcore survivor badass mode, which is pretty great. This does mean, however, that Zoey is determined to bring down the corrupt AF corporation behind Minos Escape Rooms, which cool, but also based off that last scene, NOOOOOOOOO!!

This scene tricks you into thinking everyone will be fine

THE SCENERY

Now when I first saw the trailer for Escape Room, I thought that each room would be designed for one of the characters specifically. That’s not actually the case, but each room is drastically different and incredibly deadly, with character-specific details woven-throughout. They’re all designed in such a way that you could see them being a legitimate escape room in the real world, except they all have some kind of ACTUAL deadly twist, as opposed to actors and fake consequences. The little details were really clever and sometimes kind of heart-wrenching. The fire and closed-off vent crawl triggered Amanda’s PTSD in a really gutting scene and introduction to her character. The antler trophies in the room pictured above each represented one of the well-known reindeer from the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” song, which was rough for Ben because of his flashback and rough for the audience because that is clearly insinuating that the reindeer have been slaughtered which like, rude, leave Christmas out of this?? My least favorite room is the arctic winter awfulness simply because it was devastating watching them work together to both deal with Danny’s death and try to melt the key needed out of the center of a solid block of ice while they’re sharing ONE coat among them. Ugh. But a very close second is that stupid upside-down pool room. Design-wise it’s great, but overall? Hate it. Hate what happens. Nope.

Oh hey look! There are skeletons in this movie!

THE TWIST

Okay, if you’ve read this far and haven’t seen the movie yet, trust me when I say you really probably wanna see it first before I continue.

For everyone else? Here we go.

Escape Room has actually, a couple twists when you think about it. The initial twist is, of course, the fact that all the dangerous traps are actually real and very deadly. The stakes are REAL high.

The next twist comes in the room outfitted like a hospital. Each character is drawn to a specific bed, set up differently. It turns out, each character spent time at some point in the hospital, and each bed is a perfect recreation of their room. Through discussion, they learn that each of them was the sole survivor of something traumatic that happened to them (we get little flashes about what these events could be throughout the film). Zoey figures out that whoever is running the escape room must want to see who, among them, is the “luckiest of the lucky.”

After a couple more rooms and a couple more deaths, we catch up with Ben, who did indeed survive getting crushed in the lavish living room (so I guess technically he just didn’t get crushed). He hobbles into some sort of warehouse with a large screen that shows each of their pictures, and all of them, save for his, have a large red “X” over top. In his picture, he is labeled the “WINNER.” A bearded British man enters the room to reveal the next twist: this entire thing was set up by a group of bored, rich people who are fascinated by the human will to survive. British Beard proclaims that humans have always loved watching other humans in near-death situations, and they have run these escape rooms multiple times, sort of like an experiment, to try and figure out what it is that makes up the ultimate winner (sidenote: notice how this is also kind of a dig at the audience to the film? After all, aren’t we also paying to watch humans survive in impossible situations for entertainment? Granted, it’s all acting, but still…). It’s a very Hunger Games-esque twist, and British Beard boredly states that he really didn’t think Ben would be the one to make it out, his money was on one of the more fit characters (um, rude?). Ben, absolutely bruised and battered beyond belief at this point, just wants the prize money. All his new friends are dead, and he should probably go to a hospital.

The next twist comes when British Beard says something like “when a horse wins a race, does it get the prize?” and then he tries to choke Ben to death with a wire. Ben is able to get out of the choke hold by taking a piece of wood out of his leg and stabbing British Beard. It still looks like British Beard will be the ultimate victor until…

BAM he gets shot in the back by our next twist: Zoey didn’t die after all! They make sure British Beard can’t follow them and they hobble out into the sunlight.

We ain’t done yet, though, as Zoey is later seen with a group of police officers, headed in to the Minos building to take down the corporation. However, when they bust down the door, it just looks like an abandoned warehouse, with decaying furniture everywhere and graffiti smothering the walls. Zoey, panicked, points out that no, no, this was the lobby! And the vent was right there! And-

She notices that there’s a specific phrase graffiti-ed over the “vent”: “NO WAY OUT” which, she figures out, is an anagram for “WOOTAN YU”, the name of the doctor that’s been splashed all over the movie and, theoretically, the evil mastermind behind all this. Zoey realizes that even THIS is a part of the game!

We STILL AIN’T DONE THOUGH, and we jump ahead to 6 months later, where Zoey and a very cleaned-up Ben are meeting for coffee (they’re sweet and I love them). Ben would very much like to leave everything behind, please, but Zoey refuses. She found headlines explaining away the deaths of all the previous characters, and she’s convinced they would have had headlines, too. They weren’t supposed to win, and they did. Zoey is able to track down what she believes to be the coordinates to Minos headquarters, saying she has plane tickets, let’s go. Ben agrees. GET IT.

STILL. NOT. DONE. We cut to a plane that appears to have lost an engine, but wait, it’s another escape room? The flight attendant and a man on board frantically search for numbers and a key to get into the cockpit, but when they do, the pilots are knocked out, and there’s no way to control the plane, and they crash….

in a SIMULATOR. The flight attendant complains about getting her shoe stuck on something AGAIN, ugh, and the fake plane resets while various people in hazmat suits walk around looking creepy. A silhouette on a screen asks about the survival rate, and a smug guy says “4%. We have their flight info.”

It’s a brilliant setup for a sequel (please, PLEASE give me Zoey punching the living daylights out of this Dr. Wootan Yu, PLEASE!!!) and a creepy reminder that, just like Zoey said, they weren’t supposed to win, and technically? They still haven’t.

(sidenote: does anyone else think the flight attendant looks suspiciously like Zoey’s roommate who goes home for the holidays?? ARE THEY ALL IN ON IT???)

this is a totally normal escape room guys, I swear

“OOF” MOMENT

Honestly, I really didn’t think there was a particularly awkward or cheesy moment in the film. However, I will mention both Danny’s death and Mike’s death in particular, because they’re infuriating and real hard to watch. Plus it absolutely breaks Ben both times and I just…please help him. Get him a blanket and like, a cozy book or something. Also, initially the “NO WAY OUT” twist drove me crazy because?? LET THEM BE HAPPY, PLEASE.

FAVORITE MOMENT

Hands down, I have to give this to Zoey. We assume she dies due to the poison being released in the air, but in a fun moment, two guys in hazmat suits come into the room, talking about cleaning up the bodies, and they see an oxygen mask. When one of them says “pfft an oxygen mask? What would she use that for?” Zoey appears behind him with a pole and yells “TO BREATHE, BITCH!” and absolutely whacks him so she can escape. I LOVE HER.

nah I’m good thanks

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

This is another one that I think is entirely up to you! If you like escape rooms, crazy puzzles, good characters, fun twists, and a decent thriller, I say go for it! If it’s not your genre, no worries. I’m not super into crazy gory thrillers myself, and we don’t see any gory death scenes (the exception might be Jason, there’s some blood there, and British Beard gets shot a couple of times). I would say there IS a seizure warning for one of the rooms: when Ben and Jason enter the TV static room, the rest of the scene plays out with a whole lot of strobe light and weird camera effects. It’s kind of tough to watch in general, so be warned!

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Many of the trailers were similar to Aquaman (Miss Bala, Pet Sematary, Godzilla: King of the Monsters), but they added Happy Death Day 2 U (similar to Pet Sematary, probably won’t see it alone if I do see it) and The Intruder (which I probably just won’t see in general, not really my jam, unless I hear it has some amazing plot thing that wasn’t featured in the jump-scare-y trailer. Sheesh, between this and Pet Sematary, when are people gonna learn to just not move into weird old houses?? STOP IT).

And that’s the end of this review! If you like mystery thrillers with deadly puzzles, good characters, and a whole LOT of twists, I’d say give this one a go! It’s not a groundbreaking movie, per se, but I think it’s enjoyable and interesting, and I keep wondering about the details I probably missed! So if that sounds like something you’d like, I say take yourself to the movies and see Escape Room.

(2019, not either of the 2017 versions. Unless that sounds like something you’d enjoy, of course.)

Aquaman Review

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They knew they could get me to see it by putting sharks on the poster

So last night, I took myself (and my dad) to the movies to see Aquaman, the latest movie released in DC’s so far slightly-less-than-successful attempt at a cinematic universe, depending on who you ask. I realize I’m a few weeks late to this party, but let’s dive right in, shall we? (Pun completely intentional).

THE PLOT

Aight so the movie starts off in a massive storm of some kind and we follow a guy trying to tie his window shutters down so they stop slamming against his house and jump-scaring the audience. He’s torn away from his task, however, upon seeing the body of Nicole Kidman splayed across some rocks down by the water (I mean, wouldn’t we all get distracted?). Kidman plays the Queen of Atlantis named Atlanna because of course that’s her name, and Temuera Morrison plays Tom Curry, her lighthouse keeper savior. The two form a quick bond in a nice montage that feels very much like Splash, with like a little bit of The Little Mermaid in there I guess, but Splash! We jump ahead in time to Atlanna telling a story about Atlantis and a very special trident to her young son (this is an important plot point) before a whole bunch of aquatic stormtroopers shoot up the house and demand Atlanna return to Atlantis. After a fun little fight sequence, Atlanna decides she must return to keep her son and her beau safe. Jump ahead in time again, and we catch up with a navy submarine being overrun by pirates. They are interrupted by none other than Aquaman himself, who ruins their party and saves everyone aboard (except for the pirates, whom he leaves for dead in a decision that will definitely come back to haunt him later). Aquaman (whose actual name is Arthur) is hanging out with his dad, Tom, in a bar when a group of burly biker guys interrupt to ask if they can get a picture with good ol’ fishboy (“fishMAN” Arthur corrects him, lest we forget this is a VERY MANLY MOVIE, OKAY). On their way home, a massive tidal wave knocks into well, everything, including their truck. A mysterious redhead (Mera, played by Amber Heard) shows up to save Tom’s life, and to also demand that Arthur return to Atlantis to challenge his half-brother Orm before he becomes Ocean Master and starts a war with the surface. So um. Yeah. Arthur, bitter about the whole Atlantis thing because he was told they executed his mother, Atlanna, just because he was born, isn’t crazy about it but also doesn’t think he can just stand by while all these humans die. The rest of the movie is a weird mix of an epic quest story line, a family drama story line, and a royal politics story line. Also, fish! Lots of fish. And Jason Momoa as Aquaman is shirtless a lot, which works well to show off the excellent tattoo work all over his chest and arms (it’s gonna make fanart a nightmare, like Maui from Moana all over again).

Mera and Arthur chat with Willem Dafoe (his character had a name but…I mean it’s Willem Dafoe)

THE REVIEW

So in my opinion, overall, Aquaman is a very strange movie. It’s a good time, for sure, but it’s also just a whole lot of things all at once. It’s very pretty to look at it, and the actors overall do a brilliant job, and it serves its purpose well as a superhero flick. In my opinion, I can’t put it on quite the same level as Wonder Woman, but it definitely comes close! As I said, it’s a fun movie, and I appreciate that it never really took itself super seriously. Yes there were intense moments that it did not shy away from, and to even it out there were incredibly dorky and ridiculous moments. I wouldn’t say it was my favorite film ever, but it was fun and I’m glad I saw it. I mean, there were cool sharks being ridden around underwater like toothy horses. Also, Julie Andrews cameo!! So with my general overall feelings of the film out of the way, let’s dive deeper (pun still intended) into different elements of the movie, which means Spoiler Warning ahead if you haven’t seen the film yet and want to without having any major details given away!

Mera and Arthur descend to the Kingdom of the Trench in a truly nightmare-esque sequence

THE MUSIC

I am a major movie music nerd, so one thing I will always discuss is the music. The movie overall had a very fun, superhero-esque score. Very epic, very “let’s go knock over buildings and save people.” The usual. Notable music moments for me include the initial pirate introduction in the beginning (they have a very cool villain theme) followed by when Arthur interrupts them (Arthur gets an electric guitar theme in the midst of the orchestra, which is a fun, quirky addition and kind of sums up his character before he even says anything), the chase scene when Mera and Arthur are escaping Atlantis, when Mera absolutely waterbends a bunch of wine in Sicily into spears, and the moment pictured above when they descend into the Kingdom of the Trench (visually it’s a terrifying scene, and the strange music does not help but damn is it cool). For non-orchestral music, two songs that stuck out to me were the cute song played when Mera and Arthur eat flowers in Sicily (I wish I was kidding) and the first end credits song, which I’ll discuss a little more later.

These characters look like they belong in two entirely separate films

THE COMBAT

Because it is, of course, a superhero movie, there’s a lot of combat. It’s relatively enjoyable to watch, the exceptions being the pirates first invading the submarine in the beginning (that’s just sad and uncomfortable, especially with all the mass shootings in the news the past few years) and the massive CGI fight at the end because…it’s just real hard to follow tbh. BUT generally the one-on-one fights are incredibly fun to watch because they’re beautifully staged! Plus the underwater fights are extra fun because they had to add in the lack of like, gravity rules and also air. Notable fight scenes include the one above where Atlanna absolutely decimates a group of aquatic stormtroopers, Arthur vs. Orm Round 1 and 2, and the beautifully shot and edited fight in Sicily.

this is basically the entirety of the movie, just throw in a couple sharks

THE CHARACTERS

Ehhhhhhh…they’re okay. Honestly there was no particular character I got super attached to. Naturally, Arthur is basically a big dork, and you could tell Jason Momoa was just having a lot of fun with the part, so that meant his character was pretty likable. Willem Dafoe’s character got like one instance of development when he stood up to Orm and got thrown into a prison cell, I guess? Hard to tell, he doesn’t stay there long and it’s like super easy for Mera to break into for some reason. Both Mera and Atlanna are likable because yay females! But what bugged me is that they had little-to-no personality traits. Atlanna? She’s a queen. That’s…that’s about it. Oh, wait, she’s also a mother, so she loves both her sons. Also she somehow fought her way through the Trench and lived there for 20 years, even though it’s completely glossed over how she did it. Mera and Arthur barely made it through and she’s just like “yeah I fought through just like you did, how? Not important. Know what is important? The TRIDENT.” Mera takes on the roll of the princess stuck in an arranged marriage to a jerk prince she doesn’t love and also she can waterbend with the best of ’em. I’ll delve more into the forced romance that I guess is also supposed to serve as character development even though it doesn’t in a little bit. This is something that always bugs me in superhero flicks-the women are hardly ever full characters. They’re there because they typically have to participate in a romance plot, sometimes they get kidnapped, sometimes they fight because they’re badasses, but that isn’t a character trait. We got flashbacks of Arthur learning to fight-what about Mera and Atlanna? Why do they know how to fight if they’re forced to wear pretty dresses and watch their betrothed fight from the safety of the royal box? Now, I would believe they are more fleshed out in the comics. But for the sake of this movie, they largely serve as decorations. They can fight, sure, but they almost seem unbreakable because of it. We see both Arthur and Orm weakened and broken after a tough fight, and it helps to humanize them, but Mera and Atlanna are simply perfect at fighting. The worst we see happen to Mera is a little bruise on her cheek that serves as a plot device to get Arthur to be all “YOU COULD HAVE DIED AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FAULT” (i.e., development for him, nothing for her). They can’t get beat up because they have to keep looking pretty.

THIS IS A VERY MANLY SUPERHERO MOVIE OKAY IT ONLY LOOKS LIKE BARBIE MERMAIDIA OKAY

THE SCENERY

Damn this movie is pretty. I saw it in 3D which normally I’m kind of “meh” about, but I thoroughly enjoyed it for this movie! It was fun to feel like you were swimming through Atlantis with them. All the underwater scenes were absolutely gorgeous, and also the um..the hidden Earth’s core oasis place was very pretty. In 3D, the little butterflies flitting about everywhere were quite lovely. In contrast, the descent into the Trench was absolutely gruesome and perfectly creepy. Also, in the little Atlantis history lesson segment, above-ground Atlantis was so pretty! It’s just gorgeous and neon and there are FISH!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!

this dress is so impractical but so ridiculously pretty I want 12

THE COSTUMES

To go along with the gorgeous scenery, the costumes are gorgeous as well. All of them are extremely sea-creature inspired, which I appreciated, but I also wish there were more costumes like Mera’s jellyfish dress there. They had a whole ocean to work with and most of the costumes are just like…unitards covered in scales. I mean they’re pretty and I know, I know, ~it’s from the comics~, but if they can whip out one jellyfish dress for one scene, I think they could have whipped out some like, manta ray capes and lionfish armor (Black Manta’s costume does not count because…I mean that’s a bug helmet, that’s not a sea creature. That’s..that’s like a giant fly). I’m just saying. Also…again, I realize they’re pulling from the comics, fine, but can someone please explain to me why Atlanna’s scale-suit has a cool decorated turtleneck thing while Mera’s is like, super low-cut? Like, REALLY. And why is she wearing heels with that outfit? I can’t imagine that’s super practical underwater. Probably just as practical as they are above water. Whatever.

is this a superhero movie or National Treasure 4?? No one knows
#couplegoals

THE ROMANCE

Okay so I am a huge romantic, I freely admit it. And sometimes superhero movie romance is the best! Tony and Pepper? Iconic. Steve and Peggy? Cute and also I’m crying. That ridiculous upside-down rain kiss in Spider-man? Magnificent. Nakia and T’challa? Absolutely amazing. This movie claimed to have two romantic plots, but we all know who the real couple is…It’s Atlanna and Tom, there is no contest. I mean, they had a super cute Splash-esque montage in the beginning, and also, I am SO glad they got to reunite at the end. I mean find you a man who will go down to the docks at sunrise every DAY for 20 years because he refuses to believe you’re dead and he always held out hope. Also, the height difference is adorable. In contrast, Arthur and Mera felt extremely forced. Again, I realize they’re a thing ~in the comics~ so they had to do something, but it’s hard when it seems like Mera’s only reason for having feelings is because Arthur is NOT Orm. And like they have a little bit of banter and he ate flowers with her? (Again. I wish I was kidding). Now, granted, that epic underwater spinny kiss they have, while maybe inappropriately timed (hello??? BATTLE?????), was pretty great. I’m glad they got something because the rest of their moments were just…meh. “ohhh no they got scared and suddenly grabbed hands!!” “ohhhh no she slipped and fell in his arms aND Now tHEir FacEs aRE reALly clOSE!!!” Here’s hoping we get some real development for them in the next movie…

As I said earlier, the end credits song is really kind of unique? The only way I can see it making sense is if it’s about Atlanna and Tom’s relationship, which is really interesting! The song is clearly a love song, and it’s really sweet, and definitely not your typical superhero-movie-end-credits-epic-song (that comes after this one). It’s another reminder that love is the most powerful force of all, although sometimes it helps if you can communicate with sharks (Aquaman is actually a Disney Princess).

On a separate note, I really appreciate how both this movie and Wonder Woman focused on the power of love? I mean one of the last lines in this film is Arthur saying how his parents’ love “saved the world.” They never shied away from how important Atlanna and Tom’s relationship was. Which leads to a theory I have…Mera says that, roughly, marriage alliances are not forged out of love, it’s for political reasons (typical). She says it like “I’m getting married to him, of course I don’t love him.” (it’s the one moment for her I thought could really give her some interesting character stuff…I mean obviously she doesn’t love Orm, so to some degree, love could be all new to her and Arthur is like her first crush). Atlanna initially finds Tom after escaping an arranged marriage herself-what if, having known about the whole trident prophecy thing, she wanted to escape to find a human, have a kid, all while knowing that kid could unite both worlds and save everyone. She planned it all along. I’m sure she didn’t plan on actually having feelings for Tom, but I mean, her plan did work. Plus she got a sweet, devoted husband.

“OOF” MOMENT

In this segment, I will discuss a rather awkward, weird, or just kind of “oof” moment from the film. Aquaman could potentially have quite a few, and while I’m torn between a number of cheesy dialogue scenes, the eating flowers scene, and the…interesting last shot of the film that involves Jason Momoa jumping out of the water in slow motion while saying “I AM AQUAMAN” *cue guitar solo*, I’m awarding it to the introduction to Orm and Arthur’s first fight, when Arthur says “prepare him for the Ring of Fire!”

…I’m sorry, the what?

Close runner-up is when Orm says he wants to be “Ocean Master” with a straight face.

FAVORITE MOMENT

There were lots of little moments I liked, many of them in the beginning montage with Atlanna and Tom. However, I think my favorite moment is when Arthur and Mera are walking around Sicily before everything goes to hell and Black Manta shows up. There’s a cute moment when Arthur gives Mera a coin to throw in a fountain, and Mera in turn gives it to a little girl nearby. The little girl makes a wish and throws the coin, and Mera quietly does some waterbending effects that makes dolphins and sea turtles jump and dance out of the water. The little girl goes ballistic and I relate!!! If I had Mera’s powers, I’d be doing stuff like that all the time. Close runner-up is the scene with Julie Andrews as a giant sea monster. What a queen. Another close runner-up is the scene with young Arthur being bullied at the aquarium and then a shark straight-up tries to break the glass to protect him.

SHOULD YOU TAKE YOURSELF TO THIS MOVIE?

Overall, this is a very fun, pretty movie. There are a lot of really great moments as much as there were moments and details that frustrated me. I wanted to like Mera more, I did, they just didn’t give me anything to work with. But again, Jason Momoa absolutely steals the show as he’s meant to, and it’s nice to see him having so much fun. Plus, FISH!!! EVERYWHERE!!!! If you like superhero movies, I definitely recommend this one. If you’re not a superhero person, I think you can definitely skip it. There’s nothing in it that makes me think everyone should see it (unlike, say, Black Panther), but it’s good. Plus, if you like fish, you’ll probably like this movie. There are a lot of them!!

TRAILERS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

Of the trailers shown before this movie, the ones I’m definitely going to see are Glass (I really enjoyed Split and most of Unbreakable, so I’m looking forward to this one), The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (listen, if you ignore Batman and Ninjago, the first movie is still a beautifully heartfelt film about a father and son reconnecting and it’s just a fun time??), and of course, Avengers: Endgame (hope I can see through my tears). On my maybe list are Miss Bala (I mean, it basically looks like your typical big-guy action movie but centered around a woman of color, which I am all for supporting. Plus, Gina Rodriguez! I just hope the story’s good because this one looks REAL violent), Godzilla: King of the Monsters (I say reluctantly because I was not a fan of Kong: Skull Island and I haven’t seen the other Godzilla movie apparently in this universe…but this one has gigantic animal friends in it. And Millie Bobby Brown and Sally Hawkins), and Pet Sematary (this one I will probably only see if I can drag someone with me, hell no am I seeing this one alone, that trailer is creepy. I did like the reveal of the title in the trailer though, that was well done).

That’s all for this review! If you like superhero flicks or you just want a good time with a lot of fish and shirtless Jason Momoa, I say you should take yourself to the movies and see Aquaman.

And…Action!

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Hey there everyone!

I am the Filmennial, and welcome to my movie review blog!

Sometime last year (or maybe it was sooner, I didn’t used to go see movies a lot-but that all changes TODAY quite literally as I’m seeing something tonight and I already have a ticket for tomorrow), I noticed that before almost every movie you saw, there’d be a little clip of the director and/or some actors from the film talking a little about the process and to thank you, the audience member, for supporting the arts.

Now I don’t know how the rest of you feel, but movie tickets can be expensive, so I for one was delighted to hear that someone appreciated my hard-spent cash (it still wasn’t quite enough to squash the buyer’s remorse, but that is something I carry with me even if I’m buying something necessary, like aspirin, or goldfish crackers).

But more than that, it got me thinking-as an artist myself, I do like to support the arts in whatever way I can. Yes, Hollywood is riddled with atrocities, but that doesn’t erase all the hard work and all the talented people both in front of and behind the cameras.

So, this year I did what any sane strapped-for-cash millennial would do, and I succumbed to AMC’s A-List deal (#notsponsored). I mean really, I live about a mile from a movie theater, and who doesn’t love going to the movies? The next step, of course, still as a perfectly sane and still-strapped-for-cash millennial, was to start a blog and throw my opinions out there!

With these reviews, I’ll be seeing any movies that interest me (so not necessarily any movie that comes out in theaters because some of them…meh) and reviewing them here for your reading (but mostly my writing) pleasure.

I’m not a professional reviewer by any means, but I like to consider myself someone with more of a common person opinion about movies. This blog and my A-List tickets are a way of being kinder to myself this year, and treating myself to an art form I love. I’m a 21-year-old bisexual female artist, and this year, I’m taking myself to the movies. You are all welcome to come along.

Treat yo self. — Parks and Recreation

the filmennial header!